The Destiel Show

Skit #4 – Never say Never, Dean Winchester

Sam was watching an old re-run of 21 Jump Street and Castiel was overlooking the county files they had retrieved for their newest 'gig', as Dean put it.

The door swung open then and Dean strolled in, his arms laden with alcoholic beverages.

"Guess what I've gooooooooooot?" he sang happily.

"…beer?" guessed Castiel, unenthused.

"A little less enthusiastic please, Cas?'

"Well, it's nothing new, Dean. You buy the same corrupting liquids every night. Should I be surprised?"

"Yeah, man – you be slamming down that shit every night like there's no tomorrow!" Sam jumped in.

"Well, there might as well not be because of the horrible hangovers you make us suffer with you through."

Dean narrowed his eyes and jutted out his lower lip. "Well, Mr. Moral and Sir Rap-a-lot, I was just going to say that we could play a game. I Never!"

"…you never what?" Castiel asked.

Sam burst out laughing and Dean sighed melodramatically. "No, Cas, the game is called I Never!"

"Oh. Well, how do you play?"

"One person says something they've never done and all those who have done it have to take a swig of beer….I've got Grey Goose, Jack Daniels, Smirnoff Ice-"

"Smirnoff Ice? That's pretty cheap," smirked Castiel. Dean glared at him.

"What?" Castiel argued. "You have to admit, it is pretty standard tramp-in-a-back alley drink."

"Well then, it's perfect for you, my little tramp," Dean smirked back.

Castiel said nothing. He nudged Sam away from the TV set, saying: "Up, Samuel, we must humour your brother's sinful game."

Sam was snoring away on the crappy motel couch. "Sam? Sam!"

Dean rolled his eyes. "YO T-DOG – GET YO GHETTOLICIOUS ASS UP OFF MA COUCH!"

Sam shot up, rubbing his eyes. "Wha- Hu- Heh?"

Castiel looked at Dean. "'T-Dog'?"

"Well, S-Dog doesn't sound too hot," Dean explained. "Sammy, we're playing I Never!"

"I've never been woken so rudely before, dawg."

"Okay."

They assembled in a triangle and Dean passed around bottles of generic liquor store alcohol.

"Anyone wanna start? No? Okay, I will," grinned Dean. "I never…scorched someone's arm when trying to save them."

Castiel rolled his eyes and took a tiny drop of bitter liquor. "You won't get over that, will you?"

Dean laughed. "Your turn, Cazzy."

"Okay…I've never pretended to be mad at someone for burning them but gotten a secret perverted pleasure out of it to the point where I would think about the person during sex."

Dean gaped. "Why do I feel like this is somehow directed at me?"

He took a long swig, licking his lips afterward. Castiel made sure he was serious before saying, "…I really don't know."

"Okay, lay it on us Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, already feeling warm and tingly.

"Um…okay, I got one. I never got us kicked out of a motel for making too much noise next door then consequently developing a reputation for disturbing the peace to all the inns in the district."

Castiel and Dean both took grim swigs of their bottles.

"Okay, moving on… My turn again!" Dean said. "Let's see…I've never walked into the projects claiming to be the next Eminem and then ended the day in jail."

Sam glared at him and took a gulp of his rum-and-coke. Castiel chuckled under his breath.

"I think I'm starting like this game, Deanieeeee," he slurred. Dean smirked; he'd popped Castiel's alcoholic cherry.

"Okaaaaaaaayyyyy… I've never shoplifted!"

Sam reluctantly took a swig. They both gaped at him; even Dean had refrained.

Sam pouted. "I wanted Britney's new album but my dawgs would kill me for buying that commercial crap!"

Dean nodded as if that made SO much sense. "Totally; I get ya, bro."

"'Kay… I've never had sex in a public bathroom."

Only Castiel brought the bottle to his lips this time. Sam and Dean gawked at him, utterly shocked. "Ya-ya-you- B-b-but…"

"What? Don't tell me you've never had sex in a public bathroom?! It's so…exhilarating! The excitement, the dirty-"

"Alright – I think we've had enough I never and beer for the night," Dean scowled.

Castiel smirked. "Edward Cullen never takes you to public restrooms much?"

"Shut up."

A/N: Well, Cazzy got jealous and now so is Deanie! See, there is justice in the world! Muahahahaaa…lol. Sorry for the late update. This will never happen again, promise! I'm meeting with my procrastination support counsellor twice a week and she's really helping me! :D Lmfao – just call 1800-Sex-with-Castiel!

DISCLAIMER: That may possibly be a like a porn chat thingy. Not that I've called it or anything… *cough*

MORE IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: As is obvious by now, I do not possess the intelligence required to create such fabulous characters and wonderful show like Supernatural starring Gangsta Sammy, DJ Cazzalicious and Fan Girl Dean! One day, I will own Misha…hopefully. God, this is a long disclaimer…

Doo Dooo Doooo Dooooo. Ooh, butterfly! O.o

A/N2: And this was written at exactly 2:26 AM! It is official – the Destiel *CANNOT* be written in sane daylight! :O