She hadn't always been this way. She hadn't always been following her shadow.
Neru did everything she did, for her. But she was terrified. Terrified because, what if the girl that understood hers the most, ran off? Neru would be left alone, her heart broken, on the palms of her hands, vulnerable to anyone.
Neru didn't want to be vulnerable. Except to Haku. She's strip herself of every barrier and emotion, and bare her soul and let her in. But she couldn't understand Haku's pain. Miku could.
Haku had gone through many things when she was younger. Her parents had died a few years after she was born, of to this day, unknown causes. Her friend or cousin, Dell, took her in (Neru to this day doesn't know the relation of Dell and Haku).
Haku watched as a stressed and depressed Dell dealt with life, he smoked. A lot. Haku had tried once, but she gave up after the first inhale; it had burned her throat and gave her a bitter taste and smell for a while.
So, using an alternative for smoking, she tried alcohol once. It hadn't been as bad as the cigarette. She drank a bit more. And more. And more. Eventually she was giggly and bubbly. She had dialed Neru, and cheerfully welcomed her over. When Neru came over, she was surprised, and had to deal with a drunken Haku the entire day, who was very clingy and intimate when drunk. Honestly, Haku's fingers would either toy with her scrunchie, trying to remove it from Neru -and she had succeeded twice, leaving Neru to angrily put her hair into her infamous side-ponytail- or with the hem of her skirt, and Neru blushing like mad kept reprimanding a Haku that wasn't even paying attention.
Eventually Haku crashed, and fell asleep on Neru's lap. And, although Neru on the exterior attempted being mad at Haku, she couldn't bring herself to do so. She opted to sigh and stare at Haku's sleeping, peaceful face. Eventually Neru fell asleep too, slumping over Haku, and when Dell walked in, he smiled and grabbed a blanket, pulling it over them.
But then came the morning, and with the morning came the hangover. Haku groaned and writhed, waking Neru up in the process. But Neru tended to Haku anyways, getting pills and water, putting a damp cloth over Haku's forehead. Haku never forgot this, not once. Neru acted grumpy and angry, but she had cared for Haku.
This is where Neru's fear began to blossom. Just about every day, Haku would do the same, drink, call Neru over, be too clingy, crash, and wake up with a hangover. And Neru came anyways. She knew what was in for her, but she came all the same. Because Neru cared for Haku more than she'd ever admit.
Neru became worried. Haku was depressed and Neru couldn't help or relate -for now- with Haku. But Miku was the same. Miku suffered and could understand Haku. And Neru felt worried, that one day, Haku would realize that Miku understood her, and that together maybe something could happen. And Neru would be left behind. Just another person left to gather dust in the back of their memories.
Neru couldn't understand Haku's pain. She had two loving and kind parents. They were alive, and lived with her. Haku had no one. No one but Dell and Neru. That was it.
Every time Haku and Miku talked or interacted she felt her chest tighten, and she became paranoid. Some nights she wouldn't be able to sleep, thinking and over thinking. Neru didn't want to feel this way. It wasn't fair that Haku never doubted their friendship, and yet, Neru did.
So, there lay Neru, thinking, again, tears threatening to spill over. Her back was towards the door, and she had head phones over her ears, listening, but not paying attention to the music playing, her thoughts hyper active and bouncing to and fro, ricocheting off the sides of her skull.
She hardly registered the slight dip of her bed. But she did, and was very painfully aware, of the large breasts pressing into her back. Her eyes widened and a red menace flooded her cheeks. She knew only one person of that… size… who could enter her house; Haku. Haku and Neru, being childhood friends, had the keys to each other's homes. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she hastily slid off the head phones, turning around in bed. Haku lay next to her, her gaze steady and sober, watching Neru. Neru felt like fidgeting, but resisted against it.
Haku hesitated, opened her mouth, hesitated again, and closed it. Haku's eyes went to look at anywhere but Neru. She did the same thing, opening and closing her jaw. She looked like a silver-haired and red eyed fish. Neru found it endearing. Not that she'd ever say so.
Haku's gaze fell onto Neru again, and this time stared into Neru's golden orbs.
"Can I live with you?"
Those five words hit Neru like a speeding train. It was Neru's turn to open and close her mouth as she stammered for a reply.
Haku's eyes bore into hers, a melancholic, pleading expression on her countenance. As if silently begging for Neru to let her be here.
"Wh-Wh-Wh-what about-about Dell?"
Haku shook her head, and grabbed Neru's hands, leaving Neru even more flustered, and said, "I'd rather live with you."
It took all of Neru's willpower not to pass out or scream on the spot. Or maybe kiss Haku. She'd never admit in a million years that she'd thought of that, though.
Neru gulped, her voice came out dry, "What about my paren-"
Haku shook her head again, bringing the hands that still held Neru's closer to her.
"I asked them. They just wanted your confirmation. Please. Neru."
The way Neru's name rolled off Haku's tongue made her want to shiver. Neru looked away, as if she looked at Haku anymore, she'd pass out.
To her surprise and slight horror, but certainly not disgusted horror, Haku shifted until she straddled Neru, looking down at her with another pleading look.
"Neru… Look at me." Neru kept her attention elsewhere, her face full of the insufferable heat of having Haku on such a suggestive position. Neru could do nothing but stop her imagination from running wild.
When Neru refused to look at Haku, she grabbed her chin, not roughly because Haku would never do anything to harm Neru, and forced eye contact.
"Neru. I need you. Please. Let me in. Let me stay. I can't stay with Dell anymore. He's been kind to me, but his depression and habits are getting to me. Neru, I don't want to end up a drunkard who will die young. Please, Neru."
Neru found her voice again. When she did all she squeaked was an "Okay" which she wasn't very consciously aware of saying.
Haku's face split into a smile, and one would think she would get off Neru like any normal person would, having resolved the minor conflict, but Haku wasn't exactly very sober, and she wasn't a normal person. She stayed on Neru; much to Neru's flustered distress, and gazed down on her with a look only describable as longing.
Neru's gut churned as she watched Haku. She had to resist the urge to either squeeze her eyes shut or not stare at her breasts, but it was increasingly difficult to do the latter one. Her gaze went from her eyes, to her neck to her collar bone, and back again.
Just as Neru was about to muster the courage to look further, Haku got off her, leaving a very frustrated and flustered Neru laying there.
"Okay" was all Haku said, while she pulled something out of a bag. Apparently she had brought things with her, but Neru hadn't noticed, having been too transfixed on Haku. Neru watched as Haku got up, went to her own personal bathroom, and took some time in there, leaving Neru confused. But when Haku got out, she almost choked.
Haku was wearing a much too small nightgown, leaving nothing to the imagination. Neru turned away in desperate attempt to hide her blush and near-nosebleed.
Neru almost shrieked when she felt Haku slide into her bed and press into her back.
No, Neru never forgot that day. The day she got no sleep at all. Not even a minute of it.
While Neru sat in class, watching Haku's back rather than paying attention, that scene replayed in her head, making Neru blush deeply at the memory.
So while she desperately attempted to do her work and rid of the lewd thoughts that followed, she couldn't help but watch as Haku gave an apologetic look towards Miku, as she watched some of the class mates throw a paper at her.
Miku's face contorted to horror as she read was on the paper, and Neru felt a smile creep up her face.
Neru had always held a bitter jealousy towards Miku. Miku had pretty teal twin tails cascading over her shoulders and back. Neru had a usually-tangled mane running on a side-pony tail. Miku had pretty teal eyes, and even when they were dull and emotionless, they were still amazing. Neru had gold eyes, and she felt there was nothing about them besides their color, but then again, there were kids with teal, bright green, purple and red eyes.
But, Miku was as depressed, or even more so, as Haku. They could relate easily.
Even though, since the day Haku moved in, Neru and Haku have been joined at the hip, Neru couldn't help but feel fearful.
Neru had her own deal of problems, to be sincere. She had never gotten along with anyone besides Haku, and she couldn't remember how she and Haku became friends. It just seemed to happen. Neru didn't like talking to people, despite having millions of contacts on the phone of hers. Neru was an anti-social socialist. An oxymoron of some sort. A contradiction.
But Neru wasn't a particularly polite or kind person, she was just… Neru. That was why she didn't bud well with many people. Until Haku came along.
She watched silently as Luka looked at the paper, and her face went just the same, if anymore horrified than Miku's. That seemed odd.
Luka paused for a while, before throwing a glare at the perpetrators, that made them pause in their laughter, and she stood up and gave it to the teacher, who she woke up from his sleep. Foolish he was for sleeping in class… when so many things could… happen.
The ones responsible were scolded and sent outside.
There wasn't much during class. Although Haku would look back at her every once in a while. Haku did that a lot. She would look back at Neru, while Neru was looking and they'd both look away at the same time. It was routine. Despite them living together.
Neru heard the sound of the bell, and watched Miku and Luka leave together, and she followed silently, after alerting Haku that she'd come home a bit later, of course.
She slowly followed them, phone in hand, ready for anything to get them in an even worse position. Some people considered this stalking, but Neru considered this a stake-out.
They went to what seemed to be Miku's home, she took note of the address, and Miku came out running with a bag, which Luka grabbed and they sped away.
Neru caught a woman yelling obscenities to Miku, and a man slurring things as well.
Neru quickly shuffled by, following them again. A few short blocks and they reached Luka's home. She watched them go in. She waited outside for a while. Or it felt like a while. It had actually been two hours or so.
Neru watched the lights shut off, that being the cue for her departure.
She would be going home. Going home to Haku. She inwardly sighed. She gripped her phone tightly, and smirk settled on her face. She would have fun with this.
A/N; Hmmm. Sorry I didn't update sooner! My dad picked me up on Friday, I was with him Saturday and today. And when I got home... it was ugh... I wasn't going to write femslash at his house. xD The fucking homophobic dude. Anyways. I added some fluff for once... Okay. Here explains a bit as to why Neru acts the way she does. SHE LOVES HAKU. And she gets jealous and shit. Um... This was a bit from Neru's POV, and a bit of Haku. Let me get one thing straight, (Oh wow. For the first time my gay ass can get something straight.) I looooooooove Neru. She's my baby. Such a tsundere. So cute~! And I love Haku. She's my baby too. This ship needs more attention. And Neru needs more love in general. Ugh. I guess here I'm diving into others pasts? The next chapters will be the others interactions with Miku I guess... Eh. Even though this chapter hardly included Miku... I mean... Yeah... Most certainly will. *Shifts eyes around and jumps out of window to escape*
What's funny is, this thing is getting kinda popular with my friends. They're all forcing me to update. xD And I told them my weekend dilemma and that I might not post until Tuesday, and we all agreed that if I didn't, there would be homicidal yandere fangirls under my bed on Monday, waiting for me to wake up, tying me to the bed and stabbing the shit out of me for not updating. xD (And then my Alleh-nyan comes and saves me~) But hey! I beat my own deadline by like two days! xD
Okay... What else? Oh yeah. Happy Mothers Day..? I kept saying that to my girl friend and she was flipping out. xD "Happy Mothers Day years in advance". Her reaction was perfectly beautiful. xD Um... what else? Man, I'm being redundant... Well, that is the way I write. I repeat things for emphasis a lot. Especially in my poems. Have you guys noticed that in my writing of this story? I repeat lines a lot. Anyways... Enjoy? Remember, Review if you wanna say something, Favorite if you likey what'cha see, Follow if you wanna see how this'll go along, and yeah... Have a good... whatever time of the day it is for you! See ya guys!