Stupidity at its Best (A Naruto Story) Ch 6

Hello my amazing readers! *happy sob* I love you all so much! Sorry about last chapter…T.T" It was bad, I know. Hopefully this one'll make up for it! Reviews:

SnowsShadow: Yeah…^^" You'll see how smart my dear Kumori-baka is.

Kumori: *locked in my closet* LEMME OUT KUSO! ME AND JOHNNY ARE GETTING HUNGRY IN HERE!
Angel: …. ." Pigs. I already threw you an orange.

Kumori: THAT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO!

Angel: Details, details. Now stop whining or I won't let you eat in this chapter.

Kumori: ToT" Why must you torture us?
Angel: =^w^= It's because I love you both~

Kumori/Johnny Depp: -.-"

caitlin: Thanks for that! XP I was thinking about the white…red of his eye XD

Kit: (My Beta Reader) Thank you so much for all you do for me~ I waffles you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I wish I was Asian, but sadly, I am white. XD Please review! They make me happy! Plus if you review as much as SnowsShadow does you might make a cameo in my story! Not like I'm bribing you or anything

Groaning, I put my head in my right hand, the other arm crossed across my chest. What would make me do this, you ask? Just ask the smoking statue of Ronald McDonald next to me. His feet that is. The rest of his was um…unfortunately blown up in a complete 'accident'.

"Deidara-san," I say slowly, working to keep my voice even. "Why did you blow up the statue?" I know he can hear me even though I'm talking to the ground. He chuckles nervously.

"Two reasons, yeah," He says holding up two of his fingers. His mouth hands grin at me and a car going through the drive-thru honks at us to get out of the road. Hidan flips him off and starts swearing loudly before Kakuzu rolls his eyes and drags him out of the street by his ear. "One, the most important one, is because it wasn't art, un! And the second reason is it was creepy," I look thoughtfully at where the statue was before shrug-nodding.

"Very true," He grins gleefully.

"Reminds me of Oro-mff" He's cut off when Itachi's hand goes over his mouth. A sharp look and a few hissed words keep him quiet until we get in line for food.

"What do you guys want?" I ask feeling my wallet start to ache in my back pocket. I had a feeling this was going to take a lot out of it. It was already thin enough from my crappy job. Itachi steps in front of me when it's our turn to order smoothly and the cashier girl almost faints when she looks at him. I must admit, she's pretty. Her brown hair is pulled back a pony tail above the strap of her McDonald's visor. Her grey eyes sparkle and I can tell she's got a good figure from where I'm standing.

"What can I get you?" She asks breathily while batting her eyes. He doesn't seem to notice she's doing a really bad job of flirting with him.

"Twenty Big Mac meals and five large sodas and whatever the girl wants," He says coldly and she almost faints from happiness.

"Yes sir," She says happily and about kills me with a death glare when I order McNuggets and a large soda. I about died when she told me the amount I owed her.

"WHAAAAAAT?!" I yell getting everyone in the huge lines turn to glare at me.

"You heard me," She says coldly, her hand outstretched for the money. I whimper quietly and give her the money, picking up the huge order and staggering over to the table the Akatsuki had chosen.

"She's gonna make a good maid," Hidan muses taking one of the burgers off the dray so I can now see. My eyebrow twitches a little as I set the tray down and go to get my soda. Zetsu comes up behind me while I'm contemplating what kind of soda I want.

"Sorry about Hidan, yeah he can be a real as-"

"Its fine," I cut him off seeing a group of kids run by. "Seriously," He looks at me like he knows I'm lying but my smile seems to creep him out.

"Let us know if he bothers you," He says reaching out to the iced tea container. I blink in surprise as the ice machine starts throwing up into my cup.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" He pauses when his cup is half way filled, reaching over to get some ice.

"What do you mean?" He asks as he presses the nozzle thingy to get more tea.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I'm probably going to be killed once my usefulness runs out," I mumble starting to fill my plastic cup with diet whatever. The drink bubbles cheerfully in my cup like it's mocking me. I glare at it and Zetsu takes his time to respond.

"Not necessarily," His white side says gently. "Like Hidan said, we need a new maid and if you can prove that you're worth something to Leader-sama you might live a little longer,"

"I can cook…kinda clean… I can do laundry…?" I offer lamely as I try to put the lid on my soda.

"That's more housework than we can do," His black side says with a sharp laugh that makes me jump and spill soda down my shirt. I groan under my breath muttering every swear I know. Zetsu looks mildly surprised at my language but doesn't say anything. I'm still swearing, the words getting steadily louder, as I go to get napkins. It does little help and I notice that now my shirt is more or less see-through.

CHA! NOW WE CAN SHOW OFF OUR HOT BOD! My inner yells punching the air. I push up my glasses and roll my eyes.

You forget we don't have anything to show off. I mumble to myself looking at my chest. Or lack therefore of. I don't gots girls.

And whose fault is that for not eating enough chicken?!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR NOT EATING ENOUGH CHICKEN?! My inner gives me a smug smirk.

You heard me.

Chienne.

Idiot.

Shorty.

Mierda.

Ugly.


Flat!

Fat!

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

YOU HEARD ME!

BRING IT!

RAAAAAAAWR! I envision me attempting to beat the crap out of myself. Either way I lose. Kuso I'm stupid! I sigh, going back to the soda machine with my ego bruised.

"Where'd my soda go?" I mutter looking around for it. A black hand slides a full cup to me, lid on and straw sticking out of the straw hole. "Thank you Zetsu-san," I say, raising my eyes slightly in surprise.

"It's nothing," He says and our hands brush slightly when I take the drink from him. I smile a little as I walk back to the table, where the Akatsuki has already inhaled their food.

"We're leaving," Kakuzu says standing up and I, unfortunately, happen to be behind Tobi as he eagerly stands up to put the tray away. The trash goes flying and the tray hits me squarely in the forehead with one of the corners. My glasses go flying off and land under Itachi's foot. Thankfully he doesn't crush them, he just uses said foot to stop them.

Let me tell you something, those corners are pointy! Deidara catches me as I start falling backwards and gently presses a napkin to the tiny bloodspot on my forehead.

"Thanks," I mumble blushing a little at my own stupidity.

"No problem, yeah,"