Stupidity at its Best (A Naruto Story) Ch 7
*twitch-twitch* Okay, so many people have favorited this story and alerted and stuff but could you please review?! Thanks to everyone who has but given me feed back! Constructive criticism is always wanted and appreciated. Thanks especially to:
theoretical indecisive-ness: It's true! It looks like him, but just with red hair! XD And that's why I named it Stupidity at its Best
nicsnort: O-o' You do? I'm not really seeing that as a particularly good thing. Just kidding! I beat myself up too and go honey and coca-cola! *woo*
Friglit: Thank you so much! *bows* And thanks for the alert and favorite *happy dance*
SnowsShadow: YAY! I'm glad you're still reading and reviewing. Is the fluff a good thing…? I personally love fluff.
Weird looks are all around us. I'm currently standing on Kisame's feet with Itachi's elbow in my ear and Hidan's hand trying to get some. Tobi's sitting by my leg and munching a bag of M+M's I'd gotten him earlier. Zetsu has Deidara shoved against his black arm and Hidan with his face pressed against the fly-trap. Kakuzu is the only one mildly comfortable, having found a seat between two screaming kids. He looks like he wants to strangle them but has found the kindness deep down inside him not to kill them…yet. Why are we like this, you ask? We're on a subway. I'm calling it the Subway-Ride-o-Fun.
Speaking of fun, I'm currently questioning my sanity. Sure I could try to run but with this kind of sardines-in-a-can thing the contents of the subway is imitating. I can barely breathe, no less try to make my escape. Besides, all Kisame has to do is move his leg a little and my face is in some guy's armpit. And from where I am standing, less than six inches from my neighbor, I can smell clearly that he's been working out and forgot to put deodorant back on. Sweat stains show around his arms on the light workout shirt he's wearing and I mentally make a face.
The robotic voice comes on and I can make out a muffled and garbled response that sounds something that sounds like my stop.
"Next stop is ours," I say loudly enough for everyone to hear me. Tobi gets off my leg happily and starts bouncing toward the exit, making everyone around him much less happy. The only good thing that comes out of that is he's parted the Red Sea…er… the red faces. Sweaty, as I had mentally dubbed the person standing between me and freedom minutes before, doesn't seem to notice my want to get off.
"Excuse me," I mumble and try to get past him. He doesn't move an inch. "Excuse me." I say a little louder. "Excuse me, I want to get off,"
I hear a snicker behind me and see Kisame looking amused. I deadpan as the train starts slowing for the stop coming up. I make a swooping motion with my arms as if to say "let's see you try." He shrugs, picks me up so I'm cradled in one arm, and shoves anyone in his way out of his way as the doors open with a cheerful warning about open doors.
The other Akatsuki members come out smoothly, except for Tobi who stumbles out gracelessly. People shove past him to get on the subway and his foot gets stepped on. He shakes his fist at the train as it zooms away, his posture and I'm sure his expression in a cute only he can pull off while still being angry. I mentally squeal before remembering my position.
"Um…Kisame-san? Can you put me down now?" I ask in a small voice and I hear him chuckle, feeling the vibrations from his deep voice go into my shoulder. I find my feet back on the ground an instantly regret it. I usually walk home from work or to where ever I need to go, but this was an exception since I'm traveling with such a large group.
I sigh quietly as I start wading through the trash-covered floor to the escalators. Getting on a step, I ride up to the top with my fingers tapping out a random beat on the railing. The sticky plastic doesn't want to let go of my hand when I get to the top but a couple of tugs and it's free, but a layer or two of skin missing from my palm. Pain stings numbly in my hand but I don't notice, looking around for the rest of my traveling party. I look back down at the bottom of the moving staircase and blink in surprise.
They're still standing there. My eye twitches a little.
Are they Amish or something?! My inner grumbles putting a hand over her eyes and shaking her head. They act like they've never ridden on an escalator before. Stupids, it's not that hard. You get on, ride to the top, avoid touching the railing, and get off. It's so simple.
After watching me for a few more moments, Kakuzu shrugs slightly and easily morphs into the crowd so he's swept into the flow of people that are riding up to the next floor. He gets off and walks over to me like he's been doing it his entire life. The rest of the Akatsuki gets on and rides up, hints of caution in their posture as if they were going to get attacked by the moving stairs.
"You guys aren't from around here, are you?" I ask as we start walking toward the next set of escalators.
"More than you know, girl," I think I hear Hidan say but a roaring fills my ears as the words slip from his mouth. I'm the only one that seems to notice it but I can see Deidara tense slightly behind me. My hands clap over my ears in a pathetic attempt to keep the noise out but it keeps getting louder. I feel my eyes sting as wind starts whipping around us, only the Akatsuki is being affected… and me. Nobody else notices my pain or the sudden, strong wind. I want to scream but my voice is lost in my throat. It hurts so much, my eyes sting more but this time with tears. The roaring is a scream now and my head is pulsing. I press my hands harder over my ears and screw my eyes shut, feeling a tear slip from behind my closed lids. My heart is racing and I'm sure I'm imagining it but it feels like the escalator is slipping away.
Another tear breaks free but this time I feel a hand on my arm. I open my eyes to see the blurry outline of Itachi. His face is emotionless but he gently wraps his hand around my upper arm. His other hand is clasped with Kisame, who's holding hands with Tobi, who's holding hands with Zetsu, who's holding hands with a grudging Hidan, who's grudgingly holding hands with Kakuzu, who's holding hands with Deidara. Very manly, I know. The wind and the roaring slowly start dying down as my heartbeat returns to normal.
Light shines brightly for a few seconds and we all close our eyes. I can see the brightness behind my closed eyelids and when it starts to fade, I reopen them. The roaring and wind are gone now, replaced with a gentle breeze. I slowly lower my hands from my ears and look around. We're in a village. Tall tan buildings are everywhere and a fine mist of sand coats everything and everyone, us being its newest victims. I take a deep breath, smelling the salt from the sand and coughing when I get too much lodged in my nasal cavity.
"Suna," Comes Zetsu's low growl. "The exact place we don't want to be,"