Chapter 2

After the initial mini-rant Ford gave to a totally-ignoring-him Stan, their hike through the woods became stoic and uncomfortably silent. Seeing as how lecturing wasn't going to do him any good, Ford took the lead, taking a few paths he knew from memory, talking to himself as he walked.

"The spring water from the crystal cavern would be best as a first try," he was saying, tapping his pen against his chin. "...the entrance should be in the side of the mountain—"

"Tough luck there," Stan cut in. "There was a rockslide seventeen years ago. Nobody bothered to clear it up since there wasn't anyone nearby for it to affect." He snorted when he heard Ford swear sharply under his breath. "I say we just head up anyway and see if there's another path in."

"There IS no other path, Stanley, only one tiny opening that I could barely fit crawling through!" Ford snapped back, scowling at the foliage ahead.

"Cant hurt to just LOOK, sheesh," Stan muttered. "It sounds like the easiest thing to collect, anyway, so what's the harm in just LOOKING?"

Ford turned around shooting Stan a glare. "I'M trying to work on a short timeline to make sure Dipper and Mabel don't suffer any detrimental effects!" he said, an almost accusing edge to his voice. "But if YOU want to waste your time looking for an entrance to a cavern that doesn't exist anymore, then PLEASE, be my guest! I'LL be looking for a REAL solution." He picked up his pace, reaching into his back to pick out another journal.

Stan glowered at his twin's back, resisting the urge to ping him in the head with an acorn and start World War III. "Fine then, genius, what's next on the list?" he retorted, plucking things out of trees and stashing them in his pocket.

Ford huffed. "The quickest thing would probably be a dewdrop berry…"

"…you know, I'm like eighty-percent sure you just take crap from D'n'D'n' More D and slap the names onto the stuff you find out here."

Silence.

"Holy Moses, you do, don't you?"

"I call them dewdrop berries because they literally look like large drops of dew on the plants they grow on!" Ford shot back, his voice raised as though to hide the obvious embarrassment. "They're a brilliant antioxidant, and can probably help flush the toxin out of their bodies. Only problem is, the fairies here hoard those berries and become hostile to anyone who goes near them…"

"Gotcha, gotcha," Stan replied. "Lead the way, Fordy of Pineglen."

"Damn it, Stanley, do you HAVE to make fun of ALL my character names!? And I haven't used that one since I was twelve!"

"Whatever, they're all lame and nerdy."

Ford let out a wordless, long-drawn-out groan of frustration, heading along the path to a glen in the forest. "It should be around here somewhere…" he murmured, looking around. "Ah, across the creek." He looked around for a bridge of some sort, pausing when he heard Stan shuffle around some yards behind him, turning to see his twin hop over some rocks in the shallow end. "Stanley, for gods' sakes, you're going to slip in!"

"No other way TO cross, Ford," Stan replied, keeping most of his attention on keeping his footing. Luckily, most of the rocks were large with flat surfaces, some covered with moss, arranged in a zig-zagging pattern. He paused when he saw a rock larger than the others near the other side, completely smooth and almost glossy, narrowing his eyes critically before backing up a little and taking a leap right over it.

"STANLEY, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU EVEN DOING!?" Ford shouted, already 110% done with his brother by this point. He massaged his temples when Stan flailed his arms to catch his balance, then stepped over the rest of the rocks to the other side.

"Quickest way over, Ford!" he called over. "Just skip the big rock, it's fine!"

Ford sighed, not wanting to waste any more time on shenanigans, and stalked over, stepping over the rocks easily, not even pausing as he stepped onto the large rock.

"FORD, NOT THAT ONE—"

As soon as he stepped onto it, the 'rock' jostled around and rose up from the creek, now resembling a crab-like creature with jagged teeth and gills that splayed dangerously as it flailed its pincers upward to swipe at Ford. Ford yelped, jumping off the creature's head and crashed into the shallow water.

The creature scuttled after him, hissing and jabbing at him as he kept flailing and scooting back in the water.

He suddenly felt a pair of hands grab the shoulders of his coat and jerk him right out of the water, dragging him onto the bank and even further back. The creature pursued only to the edge of the water before shifting back, hissing territorially before sinking down into the water again, once more, looking for all intents and purposes, a large rock in the creek.

Ford gasped for air, instinctively checking his bag to make sure his journals weren't damaged and sighing with relief when he found they were fine. He then looked up at Stan, who just arched a brow at him.

"…Told you to skip the big rock," he said, turning to the trees on the other side. "Now where were those gumdrop berries?"

"Dewdrop," Ford corrected automatically, standing and shaking the excess water off of his clothing before frowning at his twin. "How did you know?"

"Know what?" Stan asked, poking around through the trees. Ford frowned harder.

"What do you mean 'know what'?" he demanded, stalking after him. "How did you know about that creature in the creek?!"

Stan gave a one-shouldered shrug. "It looked suspicious. Didn't have anything growin' on it or nothin'. Plus, I coulda sworn it moved." He looked up. "Berries?"

Ford sighed, heading onward, shooting Stan suspicious glances as he walked. "…The berries are guarded by fairies," he said, just to move things along. "They can get pretty vicious when they attack en masse. We might get a little injured, but we only need a good handful of the berries…what the hell are you doing?"

Stan looked up from rummaging in his bag, his hand clasped around a can of soda. "…What?" he said. Ford looked ready to grab a stick and start hitting him.

"Stanley, cant you focus for one minute!?" Ford shouted. "We need to—" He broke off when he heard what sounded like a flock of very tiny birds kicking up, only more high-pitched and angry. "Oh damn it all—!" He clenched his hands, bracing down as though preparing himself to barrel right through, when Stan stepped up next to him, shook the can vigorously, then aimed it at the swarm of fairies and cracked the tab.

The can of soda sprayed all over the place and the fairies dropped like a switch had been turned off. For a moment, Ford thought they maybe dropped dead, but upon looking closer, it seemed the fairies were rolling around in the sugary soda and licking it off the grass and leaves. Ford stared for a moment before turning to Stan, who just emptied the rest of the can onto the grass, put the can in his bag, walked over to the bushes and grabbed a handful, putting them into an empty jar.

Stan filled the jar before turning back to Ford. "Got 'em," he said, holding the jar up. "What's next?"