Stupidity at its Best (A Naruto Story) Ch 9

WOAH! I'm on chapter nine already! It's insane that I've gotten such good feedback…especially from:

SnowsShadow: No, thanks! I love you being a spelling snob! Pleeeeease keep it up!!! He's really a naturally nice guy, isn't he? The look he usually has just screams "HUG ME!" . . Kumori-baka may surprise you… Ha-ha who am I kidding?! She's SCREWED! *Cue evil laughter*

Googala2: Thanks! =^^= I'm really loving where this is going so I'm glad you like it too!

Wolfsredfalcon: Yeah…I'm a Naruto the Abridged Series addict. Sorry to MasacoX and Vegeta3986 if I butcher the lines into oblivion. I do it because I loves you~ XD Mr. McDonald scares everyone…like most clowns. Thanks for the support!

Thanks to EdelHZ for the alert and Peridot-Horntail for the favorite!

Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure that after eight chapters, you know what I don't own.

I know this pretty rave girl, always think about her. Music starts playing from my butt.

No I didn't swallow a radio and am having trouble getting it out.

"Kumori, yeah," Deidara says poking me in the side as I sleep.

"Nng," I mumble rolling over so the music gets louder. "Sleep," Hidan snickers.

"Hey, b****," He says through his laughter. "Your $$ is ringing," I wave a hand and shove my hand into my pocket, picking up the phone.

"What?" I snap shoving the device to my ear.

"Good morning to you too," I hear my best friend on the other line. "Now that the formalities are over with, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" I wince a little at her tone.

"Yuki…" I whine a little

"Don't you 'Yuki…' me! I went over to your house last night wanting to see if I could kidnap you so we could go clubbing! THE HOUSE WAS EFFING EMPTY!" That gets my attention.

"What do you mean? Isn't Byakko-baka there?"

"What part of 'THE HOUSE WAS EFFING EMPTY!' don't you understand?! NOW WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

"I-" The phone is yanked out of my grasp and crushed by a pale hand. I gape at the Uchiha prodigy.

"Punishment for trying to escape will be severe," He says dryly as he starts walking. "Put out the fire, Kisame,"

"Got it," He says walking over to it and unzipping his pants.

"NOT LIKE THAT YOU CREEP!" I shriek covering my eyes. "USE WATER! NOT WHAT WAS WATER!"

"Kidding, kidding," He says as he puts his hands together. "…Mostly," My eye twitches a little and I sigh.

"I'm surrounded by males…annoying males," Water gushes suddenly from his mouth and I scream in surprise.

"Jutsu," He says with a cheeky smile. My heart is still pounding as Kakuzu rolls his eyes.

"Let's get going," He grumbles rolling his eyes at my stupidity. I stick my tongue out behind him childishly.

"Don't think I didn't see that," He says and I blink.

"You're creepier then Pron-Boss,"

"Thank you," I shiver a little at his tone and step away slowly. I step into Zetsu.

"Oh, sorry Zetsu-san," I say with a small smile. "Did I step on your foot?"

"No it's fine yo-" His words are cut short when a wall of sand forms between us. It forms a ball around me and my first scream is

"OHMYGAWD I'M GOING TO RUN OUT OF AIR!" Then the second one was

"HOLY SNAP IT'S DARK!" I then proceed to sit down and curl up into a ball.

Muffled voices are outside the ball and it's not long before I hear a battle going on.

"HEY! I'M GETTING LOW ON AIR IN HERE!" I yell after a few minutes.

"Duck," A muffled voice orders and I duck as ordered. The sand in front of me turns to glass suddenly before the glass broke. A few of the shards scratched my skin but I don't feel it. I'm mesmerized by Itachi's eyes. They both look like those windmill thingies, only sharper. "Don't look into my eyes," His cold voice comes suddenly and I flinch at his tone nodding. His eye flick to me for one second before picking me up and jumping back, just as a runaway attack landed where I had been. He sets me down, almost gently, beside a frantic Tobi before jumping back into the battle.

All the ninja had the same gourd-looking-thing on the headband, I notice. Frowning a little, I make a mental note to ask what they are later as Tobi begins fussing over me, freaking out when he sees the glass.

"KUMORI-CHAN IS HURT!" He wails sounding flailing around frantically as he bursts into a fit of chibi tears.

"Get her out of the battle, yeah!" Deidara yells over his shoulder. "Get her healed, un," Tobi stops in his chibi crying and nods. I'm gently picked up like I'm going to break if Tobi isn't careful enough and he jumps back into the thicker part of the woods.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I mumble turning a light red. I'm not used to people coddling me like this. Tobi doesn't seem to hear me. "Tobi…" The masked ninja is picking bits of glass out of my arm about an inch at a time before putting his hand over it, a green glow coming over it and the part of my arm it touches. My eyes get huge when I see that the scratches are gone.

"Hasn't Kumori-chan seen someone get healed before?" He asks softly, tilting his head to the side.

"No," I say honestly, watching him. "There are no ninjas in my world," In my world, the words clump on my tongue and make it stiffen so it sounds like "inn mah wrrl". I swallow hard and watch silently as he picks the last flecks of glass out of my skin, healing it.

"Tobi?"

"Mmm?" He glances up from his work with what I'm sure is a proud smile behind his mask.

"First off, good job-"

"Is Tobi a good boy?" There we go again…that eager puppy wriggle. I mentally roll my eyes as my hand reaches out to pat his head.

"Yes, a very good boy. If I hadn't known better I would say I wasn't cut up in the first place," He wriggles more excitedly like he's about to explode into Tobi confetti and happiness will fall everywhere.

No I'm serious. It'll happen one day.

BOOM! No more Tobi, but look! Confetti! Everywhere! And it's Tobi-colored! AND IT'S CURING THE WORLD OF EVERY POSSIBLE ILLNESS BECAUSE TOBI IS GOOD CONFETTI!

…Dayum straight.

"Second, can you explain to me exactly what's going on?" Thus began the longest, and most painful discussion of my life besides The Talk.