Stupidity at its Best (A Naruto Story) Ch 12
Happy holidays everyone! I don't want to offend anyone who doesn't celebrate the same holiday I do (Christmas) but if you do yay! May the fat man give you many presents. Yeah, yeah, I know he's not real but that can't stop me from dreaming, right? This chapter will be better than the ones past, I promise! I am taking suggestions for what her nindo should be (Talbulkun, thank you so much!). I hope this is a decent present!
gyvb: *happy sob* I feel so loved! Thank you so much for your support! I WAFFLES YOU!
tomato sauce: :D That means I'm doing my job right.
Wolfsredfalcon: *nod, nod* The squares you boil are MUCH better than the cup sh*t. Awww you may be a human blob that got beaten by a windshield wiper, but you're MY blob! Brains aren't very obedient, are they? XD
SnowsShadow: *bows* I'm honored! It's also amazing to see your artwork, I love it! X3 I love the fluff too. ." You'll see what happens after you finish reading my extremely long AN! Yes…Let's… *chibi tears* But I write better when there's a lack of sleep!
Thanks to BlackMagpie for the favorite and .Girl for the alert!
Hidan's hand is about to hit its mark when I'm jerked back by threads. Hidan hisses slightly in protest and sits up.
"WHAT THE F*** KAKUZU?!" He yells as Kakuzu pulls me closer to him.
"Huh?" I ask cluelessly.
"Don't take advantage of her while she's trying to do something useful," He says letting go of me as the threads retreat back to their host.
"Hidan's f***ing immortal anyway. This is part of his rituals. He's fine," Zetsu adds making my eyebrow twitch.
KYAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M GONNA KILL THAT MOFO! My inner yells going all hissy-fit-cat-ninja-mode.
No don't do that! That's just what he wants! He wants our attention. It's like he's five. A quick glance over to the pouting immortal and my phrase is corrected. He's a five year-old in an immortal twenty-something's body.
D*** straight. He's acting like it. She nods with her arms crossed
But he is kind of cute when he pouts… I say sheepishly pushing up my glasses like the nerd I am.
DON'T
YOU START GETTING MUSHY ON ME!
She yells getting a giant anger vein.
Gah! I'm not, I'm not! My inner whacks me over the head with her shoe. OW! B****! She glares at me and I glare back. Catfight! Me-ow!
Truce? She asks holding her bleeding lip tentatively.
Truce. We shake hands and walk away to lick our wounds.
"Time to go," Itachi says soullessly. Hidan gets up from his pout fest as everyone starts pouring into camp. Kisame puts out the fire, avoiding my gaze. I mentally kick myself as I push up my glasses and grab my medic bag. Deidara makes a bird and jumps up, being a gentleman and pulling me up as well. "We should be at the hideout within two hours," We nod as the forest around us whispers warnings.
"Nervous, yeah?" Deidara asks as the bird takes off. I put my chin on his shoulder and nod. My arms are wrapped around his waist so I don't fall off and I don't hurt his bird.
"A little, is your leader mean?" He laughs and I bite my lip.
"If you get on his good side, he's neutral. The only person I've ever known to get on his good side is Konan-san, un," I feel the blood starting to drain from my face.
"You're kidding," I mumble tightening my grip on his waist a little. He shoots me a sympathetic look and reaches down to his hip pocket.
"Don't worry about it too much, un," He says in what I'm sure is supposed to be soothing. "He isn't really mean to anyone but Tobi. Tobi doesn't care, though. He thinks he has problems 'channeling his love', yeah," He throws his voice to sound more like Tobi. I giggle and a small grin crawls onto Deidara's lips.
"Thanks," I murmur and he slips something into my hand. I look down, confused to see a small clay owl blinking sleepily. It's about six inches tall and small enough to sit comfortably in my palm. It shakes out its wings and opens its mouth in a silent hoot.
"It's so cute!" I say softly as I run a finger over its back. He smiles a little.
"If you ever need me, for any reason, just tell it to come find me yeah, it will. It's yours," I smile at him and peck his cheek quickly.
"That's the sweetest gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you Deidara." He blushes, slightly embarressed.
"It's nothing, un, just if you get into trouble,"
"Still," I say happily. "I'm going to name it…Kisu,"
"Death?" He asks with a small smile playing at his lips.
"Yeah," I grin. "Seems fitting, seeing as all of your art explodes."
"That was harsh," He says feigning a hurt look. I smile and shove him gently.
"I know," We both laps into a comfortable silence as the miles slip by underneath the bird's wings.
"We're here," Kakuzu murmurs as Zetsu lifts the rock with some jutsu. Deidara flies the two of us in as I slip Kisu into my pouch. He (I decided that he would be a boy) flutters around, pushing some stuff aside to make room for himself.
I jump down off the bird, causing a small earthquake (just kidding! ...mostly) and almost break my ankle. Grumbling swears under my breath, I straighten back up and twist it in a circle. Feeling it pop, I sigh happily and look up to come face-to-face with a really pretty girl with blue hair.
"Leader-sama wishes to see you," She says softly and I hear a few people behind me suck in breaths quickly.
"Yes ma'am," I mumble with a small bow.
"It's Konan-san," She says as I stand back up.
"Sorry Konan-san," I mumble kicking myself mentally. She gives a curt nod and starts walking, giving me a sideways glance that lets me know I should follow her. I 'oh!' stupidly and run after her to catch up.
The hallway is dark and creepy looking, I notice. It's a long walk and seems to go on forever before we reach a door with 'boss' written on it in kanji. Very fancily, I might add.
"Enter," A deep voice booms just milliseconds after Konan stops. She didn't even have to knock. I shiver a little as the doors, which resembled something from Star Wars as the opened, open. The bluenette steps back to let me through. I step into the room and she lets the door whoosh shut. "You must be Kumori-san,"
"Yes sir," I squeak with a bow. "I-It's an honor to meet you, Leader-sama, sir," He chuckles softly.
"I'm glad to see that you've known me for five seconds and you're already terrified of me,"
"S-Sorry sir," I say moving to bow again but he waves his hand.
"Don't bow so much. It'll make you seem like a doormat,"
"Sorry sir," I say a little more confidently.
"That's better," He says with a small smirk twitching his lips.
"You wanted to see me?"
"Yes" is his answer as he steeples his fingers gently. "As you may know, you look a lot like a girl we killed not too long ago. Only a month or so," I nod when he looks up to meet my deer-in-the-headlights gaze. "We want you to go back an infiltrate Konoha,"
"H-How would that be, sir? I don't know anything about her or-" He holds up one pale hand to silence me.
"You look like her. They don't know she's dead yet. We could have you pretend to be her but the more likely of the two is that you would deliver the news that she is dead and be there as a memory. They would easily accept you, seeing as you're innocent and you have a connection with us and you look like her. You would send regular reports back and become friends with the blond boy…Naruto, I believe. Konoha would be taken over from the inside without them even knowing it," He says with a small smirk. I nod, knowing I'm trapped.
"Your training starts as soon as you leave this room. You'll be a subordinate under Tobi. He'll teach you healing jutsu and then you'll be passed to someone else to teach you other ways of the ninja. You'll be S-ranked before you leave for your first mission. Dismissed," Questions bubble freely in my mind but I know better than to ask any to him so I bow.
"Thank you sir," I murmur as I leave. Zetsu is waiting for me when I come out.
"I'll show you to where you'll be stay," He says softly.
"Thank you Zetsu-san," I say and I swear I can see a blush on his cheeks…but I'm sure it's just the light.
Angel: ^^ I hope you liked your present! From all of us here at Stupidity at its Best…
Akatsuki (except for Konan and Pein): Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy holidays!
Tobi: TOBI IS A GOOD Boy!
Kumori: *pout* I am not fat.
Hidan: *snickers* Just a little, b***h