HAPPY CHRISTMAS

ALICE'S POV

When the last word escaped Marianne's lips, silence filled the room. I gulped. Killings? I thought, maybe a little robbery, a few car chases, like a low budget James Bond, with Marianne a few inches taller, and a few pounds slimmer, in a long black dress clutching a diamond studded revolver. Well, Marianne's gun WAS fuchsia? Adds a bit of glamour I suppose. But still, it was so incredibly naïve of me, to think these three high protection criminals were kept behind bars for stealing pic'n'mix or something. And besides, who am I to talk? I'm more of a danger than the other three put together! I wouldn't be the ordinary gangster, I'd be the super villain, with the black cloak, and the sequinned mask…oohhh, and maybe a cat suit! Stylist by day, bloodsucker by night. Really, I'm surprised the comics haven't come up with that by now! 'Super Alice' 'Alice-the-Vamp' 'The Scary Stylist'…

But still. Escaping would be so easy. Just because of Carlisle's reputation, I was banged up with a trio of deadly criminals, one a regular self-harmer! Well, so much for a hospital job, and a library subscription, or whatever else was tying us to this town, but some sort of massacre in the jail would be inevitable soon! Oh, if only I'd hunted before. The burning was tickling the back of my throat, crawling to reach my gums, and effulging me in a prickling sensation, forcing my mouth open to breath the sweat filled air, saturated with the stench of blood. I clenched my fists, using every last ounce of my strength to fight the fire, push it away, and slowly, the thirst subsided. But it was not gone, and nor was it satisfied. Like a monster inside of me, it was biding It's time, waiting, for when I could resist no longer, to surface once again.

"Emmett, is it REALLY necessary to wear an officer's uniform? We're planning a break-in, not a fancy dress party!"

The Cullens, excluding Alice, were seated around a small circular table, in Esme's potting shed. A lone bulb hung from the damp-caked ceiling, and flies were everywhere, filling the room with their droning relentless buzz. Given the circumstances, and the fact that one of his adopted daughters was in jail, Carlisle was allowed to be irritable. And Emmet DID look slightly ridiculous.

Although the idea was Bella's, Jasper & Emmett had been keen to take over. They stood in front of the rest of the family, next to an old tea-stained map, brandishing long walking sticks to point at assorted marks on the map, which would apparently form the basis of the plan. Both looked proud, and rather pompous.

Rosalie drummed her expensively manicured fingers on the table, waiting for the lecture to begin. Edward seemed grumpy, possibly because this gathering was wasting time, which could otherwise have been spent alone with Bella. Bella, who was perched on the side of Edward's, chair, seemed quietly amused, and rather exited at the idea of a full-scale plan, of which she could be of true help. Although she loved her vampire family as if they were her own, she sometimes felt somewhat overshadowed in their various schemes. She was often a hindrance, not help. But human contact could be necessary in this operation, so Bella eagerly anticipated the plan ahead.

Jasper cleared his throat.

"As you all know, Private Alice has been detained in a detention centre until further notice." Jasper enjoyed the limelight, and he enjoyed instructing people. However, he COULD get slightly carried away with the army vocabulary.

"Wait," Rosalie interrupted sarcastically, "When did Alice join the army?"

"Uhm, erm…er…" Alice would have spurted out an automatic witty retort, but Jasper's arguments were lost without her.

"Let the boys have their fun" smiled Esme, in a motherly, yet authorative voice, "Its not every day a family member's in prison!"

"Well, lets not make it a habit," Muttered Carlisle

"AS my partner was saying…" Continued Emmett "Alice is in jail. And we are here to GET. HER. OUT!" he tapped the paper for emphasis whilst saying this, causing great gashes to form in the paper, mutilating their map.

Jasper sighed "Typical. That was our only reliable direction! Any other bright ideas, Einstein?"

Emmet puffed out his chest. "As a matter of fact I DO! Cake making. Simple, yet so utterly genius."

Bella wrinkled her nose in confusion "How will a Victoria Sponge, or a chocolate log help Alice? It seems a bit weird to me." That last remark earnt her a glare from Rosalie, who quickly turned to face Emmett

"Carry on with your plan darling"

Emmett looked pleased, "Well, Its not the CAKE that counts, its what's INSIDE the cake…"

This time it was Esme's turn to look baffled. "What …..like jam?"

"No! Like knives, guns, or erm, spoons!"

"SPOONS?" Edward sounded incredulous. "How exactly is cutlery going to aid our escape plan?"

Jasper took over the explanations "He means like the old prison escape movies, bake a spoon or a gun or something into a cake, so they can dig their way out!"

"Ahh" replied Carlisle "We still have that recipe book for beginner's don't we? Well, Emmett, Edward & Jasper, you can work on this cake plan, under Bella's supervision, whilst me and Esme have some well deserved privacy"

"Hmm," Esme smiled at her husband "I like that sound of that idea!"

Thought I'd put the authors note at the end this time cus its really long. Sorry for the slow upates, i had a major plot crisis, i mucked up the whole story by accident. But I got over it and I've changed it now. It's not what I wanted from my original idea, but it'll do. And I think It may turn out better, because at least now there will be a proper plotline. Thanks for all the reviews, I know the last chapter was a bit weird, but the reasons for it will become clear. And also, I quite like helpful critcisms etc, but please read the fanfiction first. My friend explained what a 'flame' was to me, and it would be nice if i didnt get any more.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS. Or whatever you celebrate. Happy Santa day if you arent religious :)