Disclaimer: If I seriously owned anything in this story, do you think I'd be writing it? Exactly. I own Charity Burns, her family members, and all the other OCs. Nothing else. Zip. Zero. Nothing. Nada. Notadamnthing. :) Kapeesh? :)

A/N: Whoo! I'm on an updating roll tonight! Hehe. :) So, there is still that poll on my profile and there is currently a tie on the stories, so people go vote for the next story you want me to post, lol. I really like this chapter and I just wrote it now... and it's good. Hehe. Shortish, but it gets a major point across, which is the title of the story. And which will come up towards the very end, which we're getting near. Anyway, enjoy! :)

"Hey, Beth, do you know why Matt and Jeff picked that song out for me?" I ask her, my curiosity getting the better of me. It is truly eating me up on the inside, so much that the embarrassment I'm sure to feel later doesn't seem to matter much. That song has always been one of my favorites for what reason I wasn't sure of so it's even odder that they picked that song.

Beth shrugs, looking through her purse. "I don't know, you'll just have to ask them."

"Alright," I mutter and look around the lockerroom with a sigh. I hope they're not getting themselves suspended (or in Jeff's case, fired…) by attacking Kyle or anything. At the moment I don't even care about what he did, but I'm sure the Carolina brothers will get revenge on him anyway as well as Adam, who on the other hand, I'd like to get another piece of.

You know what's really strange? Hearing that your favorite wrestler likes you. Hearing that you're favorite wrestler likes you and the wrestler you weren't too interested in originally in likes you still and they both probably hate each other. How the hell did this one trip turn into a love triangle without me even realizing it?

I really needed to write in my journal and get this all down. I haven't written in it since… oh God, how could I forget about that? I knew there was a reason why I don't want to talk to Shannon. Tears are seeping through my eyes now… he's the reason I didn't get to really say goodbye to my brother. Did he mean it though? Had someone called my phone and tell him? What am I saying? Of course they didn't.

I don't know what to do about Shannon, at all. It just hurts knowing it could have been different. Then again, Penn always said everything happened for a reason. Sure, he told me that after he was re-diagnosed with leukemia but I still believed what he said was true. After all, you're supposed to listen to what your older brother says, the sibling is supposed to be right.

I don't want to cry over this, since I know Penn wouldn't want me to but I miss him so much and he should be here with me right now. I'm trying to not cry and suck it up, since I'm freakin' eighteen-years-old and not ten, but it's so hard. Everything seems to have felt like it's been thrown on top of me at the worst of times.

Can I just scream until I don't have a voice? That might help. What's that song that they had the Jeff tribute to? Right: Scream Your Heart Out. Maybe I should do that.

Then again, if I scream my heart out, I won't be able to find out about the song.

I'm thinking too literally. I need sleep maybe. A whole lot of sleep and just a new and cleansing day. I go home tomorrow, it won't come tomorrow. Tomorrow will be filled with tearful hellos by my mother and funeral plans. Can someone tell me why the word 'fun' is in 'funeral'? They certainly are not fun.

"You seem pretty deep in thought," Beth says, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?"

She laughs softly and smiles. "I said you seem like you're pretty deep I thought. Whatcha thinkin' about kiddo?"

I frowned. "Don't call me kiddo, please. It makes me feel like I'm five. I don't know though, just a lot of shit. I can't believe I leave tomorrow…"

Beth sighs and nods. "I know, I can't either. This week has certainly been a jam packed one with lots of memories and a lot of shit, eh?" I smile and nod. "We're going to miss you, you know, Charity, a lot. I know Matt will, the most."

"He will?"

"I thought he may like you after a couple days but I pushed it from my brain because I couldn't remember the last time he looked like that. Lori and Ashley never put that look into his eyes." I feel honored almost. "I think you make him feel younger, like a teenager again. It's something he knows will never happen but he can't help but wonder, you know? You're so innocent compared to the rest of us and he's just amused by you, I guess you can say."

"Wow," I murmur. "I can't believe that."

"Well, believe it. But don't expect him to ever day it to you, or if he does, feel even stranger than you probably do now. Matt's not very good with explaining feelings." She pauses and takes a deep breath. "Between all the shitty stuff that has been going on, I think you have been good for all of us. Matt's just been in a strange funk lately, Shannon… well, Shannon is always stupid," she says with a small laugh. I smile softly. "But, most of all, Jeff and I needed this. Since the fire… everything just seemed so… I can't explain it, but you've helped us all. See, with Jeff, though, it can be different. Unlike Matt, he can explain how he feels, but he's more heavily guarded in some respects. I can't explain it, but I've seen it so long, I know," she explains. "But don't think he doesn't like you and care, because even he does."

"I know…" I trail off. "I still can't believe I'm here right now."

Beth howls out a laugh. "Well, believe it already, girl!"

I smile. "I know, I know."

"You're stronger than you think, Charity. Hell, this week proves it. You've been thrown into a new home for a week, with three guys and a girl you don't really know and you've seen how the drama can come out in an instant. And then there is the whole Penn situation and today… hell, I'd be having a nervous breakdown by now."

I feel tears come down from my eyes. "How do you know if I'm not just good at hiding it?" I whisper softly.

"Oh Charity," she murmurs, pulling me closely. "Its okay, hunny, it's okay."

"I've just tried to hold it all together for the sake of everyone. I don't know what to do. I was supposed to come here and just be happy and come home and share this all with Penn and now when I come home, I'm just going to come home to shambles, not a family. I'm not strong, unlike what you think. If I was strong, I wouldn't' be like this right now," I say, letting it all out.

Beth sighs, hugging me tighter. "You don't have to prove you're strong so that someone knows you are. Trust me sweetie, you are strong. There is a lighter day coming for you, I know it. Just you hang in there." She stops and pulls a notepad out of her bag, writing down a number. "You call me any time you want to when you get back home, okay? I'll be here for you. After all, it gets pretty lonely at times when Matt and Jeff are away."

"Why are you doing this? You barely know me?" I ask her.

"That's a lie. I've gotten to know you so well, sweetie," Beth explains. "You can always hold onto me."

"Thank you, Beth, thank you so much," I murmur once more as she pulls me into another hug.

"What's going on in here?" a voice asks, a moment later, as both the Hardy Boys flood into the room, less angry looks on their faces. Jeff, who was the one that spoke, sits down next to me. "Why are you cryin', sugar?"

"It's okay, Jeff, it's okay now," Beth says quietly.

"Yeah," I add and smile. Wiping my eyes, I break free of the woman I know I can trust with anything. "So should I be worried for any people named Kyle or Adam's safety?"

Matt laughs. "Nope, you don't. And you won't. We're just going to let karma take it's course there."

I nod and smile softly. "So, who cares to tell me why you picked 'Crazy for This Girl' as the entrance music for me?"

Jeff's eyes swamp with confusion. "I didn't pick that song, did you Matt?"

Matt shakes his head. "No, I didn't either. I thought you asked one of the stagehands to play it."

"I didn't pick it," I reply softly, knowing who did.

Next update should be on this Tuesday, hehe, I love Election Day, haha. Read and review, and update I shall. :)