Hey all,

wow so much review's. Thanks, you guys are the best!

So, here is the next chapter for so much support. I can't promise anything, but I hope, there'll be an update before the weekend, but don't expect too much, becuae my life really is crazy right now.

keep the revies coming, PM's are always welcome as well.

Enjoy,

Yana

The Lead

- Chapter Five -

Pacey woke with a startle the moment his alarm went off. The first thing that raced through his mind, was that he'd dreamed all of it. But than his hand fumbled for his mobile and as't expect too much, he looked at the display there was a message. And he smiled as he saw it was from her.

Joey: You're still sure about that brunch?

How couldn't he be? This was the one thing he really wanted since he first laid eyes on her. He wanted to spent time with her. He cherished the meetings they had with small groups of students discussing science with her. He never missed one of her lessons. He used to find every excuse to seek her out for her professional opinion on almost everything ever so slightly to do with her field of work. He worked his ass off for assignments to make her see him. And now that she finally did, she asked if he was sure… He chuckled quietly and smiled about her obvious insecurity and asked himself why it was, that a woman like her was unsure about herself and the effect she had on others.

Pacey: Never been so sure about anything in my life.

The words were written and sent more quickly than his mind had the chance to click in. Pacey covered his face with his hands, rubbing over it, cursing quietly to himself, wondering if he should write something to lessen the impression of his willingness, but he decided to let her deal with it. He had never been one to hide behind words. He was insecure, his heart had been broken and irreparably so. So really, was there anything left to loose?

A moment later his phone vibrated and his heart began to race as he looked at the display, almost sure to find her canceling the appointment.

Joey: Me neither. So I guess… See you later?

And than he let out a breath of relief.

Pacey: Yep, later it is.

And he grinned the most shit eating grin as he walked to the bathroom and took a really long, really hot shower. Pacey shaved and dressed in a tight blue jeans and a black wife beater. The decision of what shirt to wear lay yet before him so he exited the bath with still moist hair.

'Well, you look gorgeous this morning Pacey.'

He almost jumped as Jen spoke up to him. She leaned with her head against the wall and the bed cover tucked up to her chin. She chuckled. 'Bit jumpy?'

'Obviously…' He murmured as he scuffed towards his closet. He felt her eyes in his back as if her gaze burned right through him.

'So, what is my favorite guy in all the world up to at this ungodly hour?' She asked as she scuffed through the room and came to stand beside him, watching him as he looked into his wardrobe with a blank expression.

'It's ten o'clock, Jen. It's nothing ungodly about ten…'

'On a Sunday?'

'So it's ten o'clock on a Sunday… so what?' He turned to look at her and his voice was a little harsher than he'd intended it to be.

'Nothing… nothing.' She waved her hand dismissively. 'Just wear the black turtleneck.' She wrinkled her nose and kissed him on the cheek. 'It makes you so very attractive.'

'That obvious?' He asked as he pulled out the shirt and put it on.

'Oh no… not at all.' She smiled at him as she slumbered down on his bed. 'So, who is it?'

He sat down beside her.

'Joey.' He said and couldn't help but smile, because he couldn't quite believe it. She had invited him for brunch and that was not some crazy thing his mind made up, it was real and honestly, it scared him a little bit.

'Joey…' She reiterated, clearly searching her mind for him mentioning that name before. 'The sweet but dump blond you laid two weeks ago?'

Pacey blushed but shook his head.

'Not the blond... The red-haired fireball, you got involved with last time you canceled an appointment with Doug, because of Miss Potter...?' and before he could protest or respond anything her eyes widened in sudden realization and stared at him in pure surprise. 'Joey? Isn't that what Doug calls Miss Potter?'

Pacey couldn't hide his grin anymore as he nodded. 'Well yes. In blood and flesh.'

'Wow Pacey, that it….' She hugged him tight. 'I mean, that is all you wanted since that first night.'

'Well, I know, honey-pie.' He kissed her forehead. 'She invited me for brunch after I got you home last night...'

'She invited you?'

'Yep! And I better get going now. So sorry, but you'll have to get yourself your hangover breakfast without me.'

'Will do, just tell me everything - - the moment you come back.'

'Deal.' He stood and put on his jacket a gray scarf and his black leather gloves. He watched his reflection in the mirror.

'How do I look?'

'Gorgeous.'

'Be honest!'

'Have you ever experienced me not being honest?' She stood and looked over his shoulder in the same mirror. 'This is me, you know? I would be honest to you if it meant my death sentence. I wouldn't let you out of here if you wouldn't look gorgeous.' She bit her lower lip. 'Unless…'

He turned to face her. 'Unless?'

'Unless it meant, she would steal you from me…' She kissed his nose and he took her into his arms.

'Not gonna happen, Jen.' He knew she was afraid of being left behind, but if anything he could reassure her of his friendship and he would hate to miss her's. 'Be back by afternoon, and if I'm not I'll text you. Deal?'

'Deal.' She looked up at him and smiled. 'And now out with you.'

'Bye Jen.' And with this he let go of her and was out the door in a heartbeat.

The cold hit him hard as he stepped out of the house and onto the street. The icy wind blew icy air in his face and he wished he'd put on a bonnet. Snow still fell as he walked through the ankle-deep snow. His hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, his breath clearly to be seen in the chilly air.

God he was nervous. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this nervous in all his life. Maybe he never had been. His heard was racing, his hands were wet, his breath came quick. It was ridiculous. He felt like like a sixteen year old on his way to his first date and he wasn't quite sure if it was one. But than again - could it really be anything else? If it wasn't for her it quite certainly was for him.

The moment he turned around the corner to Renee's he saw her. Her long coat tight around her slender body, a black woolen cap on her head, tipping from one foot on the other as she obviously was waiting for him.

He couldn't deny what effect she had on his body and mind, only seeing her standing there and clearly waiting for him. He stood a moment and watched her putting her mobile out, checking for something and putting it back inside her pocket. He couldn't help but smile and be slightly relieved. That meant, that she was maybe just as nervous as he was and her being nervous could mean that she wanted more than a friendly meeting too.

He straightened his shoulders and walked straight up to her.

'Hey there.' He greeted her and as she lifted her head and their eyes met the most beautiful and breathtaking smile brightened her face.

'Hey.' He stopped right in front of her, feeling electric sparks all around as she bit her lower lip he was sure it would be his death. 'I'm glad you came.' She said with a shy smile.

'Why wouldn't I?' He asked and really, he couldn't find any satisfying answer.

She shrugged and he sensed more behind that little shrug than met the eye.

'Am I late?' He offered.

'No, no not at all… I was early.' She looked to the ground and suddenly seeming much younger to Pacey than she actually was.

'Well, what about entering?' He asked after a short moment and held open the door for her. 'It's freezing cold out here and now I'm here there's no need to stand longer in the cold than necessary, what do you think?'

Her eyes met his once again and the need to taste those red lips was almost unbearable, her eyes shining as she passed him by. 'Thanks.'

'My pleasure.' And even though it was a phrase he was sure he hadn't meant anything quite as honest as this.

Little later they sat on a nice window table, each of them a big cup with hot white coffee and a plate with pancakes and syrup in front of them. Pacey leaned back and watched her, as she lifted her cup and drank than put it down again and licked the remaining milk froth from her upper lip. She was incredibly sexy with her red stained cheeks, her sparkling brown eyes and her auburn hair falling freely to her shoulders. He must have been smiling because she smiled shyly back at him.

'Everything alright?' She asked and he just nodded.

'Yeah. Everything's perfect…'

'Just, you… haven't said a word since we came in here and…' She let the sentence unfinished and he just shook his head.

'Really, everything is just fine. I guess I…' He grinned sheepishly. 'I guess I just try to convince myself I'm really here.' He reached over to touch her hand ever so slightly and his breath hitched as he felt her warm skin under his. 'That you are really here.' His voice turned huskily and she blushed. Oh, but he wanted her so damn much.

Joey remained silent for a moment, but than surprised him by turning her hand around and holding his hand ever so gently, sending shivers through his whole body and as she casually slid her fingers through his, it made his heart race and he was pretty sure his cheeks were burning by now. Could it really be that simple. Could she really just want him back just as much as he wanted her? Could it be, that she'd fallen for him? That he stand a chance to be enough for a woman like her?

'So am I.' She looked into his eyes and he was certain his heart stopped beating right there and than.

Pacey just looked at her and his thoughts tumbled over themselves, he wanted to make some witty joke, some silly comment of his effect on her, but really, he was to overwhelmed by the fact she was so willingly open with him, so into whatever it was they developed between them, that it made him speechless. He just enjoyed the feeling of her hand in his, her fingers against his, her eyes holding his.

'You had me sleepless last night, you know?' She stated with the most sensual voice and the brightest of smiles, beaming directly into his heart and warming him up inside.

'I did?' He asked a witty smile on his own face and she nodded.

'Well yes. Handsome guy flirting with me, not happen every night.' She laughed and he knew she'd be the end of him.

He grinned but shook his head. 'Impossible. Handsome guys must stand in line on your front door, hoping for your attention. But maybe you're too caught up with someone particular and just don't see them?'

She shrugged casually and squeezed his hand ever so slightly. Making his soul hope and his body respond in a way that made him wish he'd chosen a less tight jeans. 'May certainly be.' She grinned. 'Bon appetié.' She smiled and he grinned as they began to eat in complete ease.

They joked and flirted easy going for the whole noon. They ordered more coffee and orange juice, eggs and bacon, croissants and fruits. Every now and than their hands would brush oh so casually against the others. They would take a hold on each others hand and hold it for a while. Their eyes would meet and they would look into each others eyes for an inappropriate long time. They laughed and shared easy silence.

Outside the light slowly faded into afternoon twilight as Joey leaned back, letting go of the hand she'd been holding for at least the last ten minutes and wiped at her mouth.

'So, may I ask you something?' Pacey nodded, leaning back as well and waited until the waitress cleared their table, just leaving their coffeecups.

As the girl had retreated Joey caught his gaze. 'Why have you rejected every opportunity to meet me at Doug's ever since he moved here?' She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and he felt as if she'd stabbed him. Pacey took a deep breath and tried to decide if it would be best to go with the truth or to hide behind some assignment or exam, but he knew it wouldn't work, because Doug had invited him over at least a hundred times, and almost every day between Christmas and New Year and even for New Years eve and Pacey had found every excuse to not be there.

'Well, I…. I guess I was afraid.' He offered honestly, avoiding her gaze.

'Afraid because of me?' She asked uncertain and a little smiled played around the corners of her beautiful, kissable mouth. 'Am I this scary?'

'Well, no…. and yes.' He shrugged and lost in thoughts he began to turn the cup on the table round and round. She didn't say anything but he felt her eyes on him. After a long while he lifted his head, surprised to meeting hers instantly. 'I was afraid of how obvious it would be, that I was… I am… interested in you. That I wanted more than meeting you at my brothers place and maybe you would just see me as this - his little brother, the showy student. And not seeing the man I am.' He took a deep breath and decided he could as well put all his cards on the table. This was an all or nothing moment and he decided to go with all rather than nothing. If he wouldn't risk it now, maybe he wouldn't find the courage to take it any other time and the moment would pass him by, leaving him regretting being a fool for the rest of his life. He held her eyes with his and his voice was shaky as he spoke with his heart on his sleeve, nervous as hell but certain of doing the right thing. 'The man, that fell in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you. I wanted you to see me like this. I wanted you to see I loved you right from the start.' He took a shivering breath, not letting her eyes go for a second. 'And I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable or putting you in some delicate situation, but I love you Joey. And this…. This is really all I wanted. You and me, alone, without any big brother or friend watching us. Just me and you.' He swallowed. 'And I guess now you'll just stand up and walk out the door, because I'm just some silly college boy and quite certain not the first one having a crush on you.'

She stared at him. For a long moment she said nothing. Just sat there and stared at him until he could no longer bear it and stood.

'Maybe I should better take my leave.' He put out his wallet, pulled out some money and placed it on the table. 'I'm sorry Miss Potter, I should have kept my mouth shot…' He said the words bitterly, his heart clenched and he wondered why he had been so careless with it, knowing she would reject him and that the flirting the night before was quite obviously driven by too much alcohol in their heads. As he walked her by, she took his hand, taking him by surprise.

'Don't go, Pacey.' He turned and looked down at her as she looked up at him from where she still sat. 'Please sit down again, would you?' She pleaded with her big brown eyes and he turned to reclaim his seat opposite of her. He watched her as she was clearly struggling for words like he'd done a few moments earlier.

'It's been a long, long time since anybody was interested in that way in me.' She met his eyes and he was taken aback with her bluntness. 'Don't get me wrong here, I mean, I was interested in you, obviously.' She was a bit breathless and it was kind of sweet. 'You were so… I don't know… so real the night we first met. You know, I see many people every day and I'm used to be confronted with a whole bunch of masks they wear, but you… People at work who want to appear as the detached, professional doctor, the wise caring nurse, the caring relative, but really are exhausted and burnt out or just don't know how to ease someones pain anymore. Or at Harvard I see many students who just appear to be someone they're just not. But you... You were just so openly yourself and have been ever since. Blunt and witty and angry at times, impulsive. Just real. Like that first night, as you flirted with me like I was some college girl and trying to safe me from that old guy. Who's just as old as I am, by the way.' She chuckled and he let out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding. 'I thought you would loose this side of yourself sooner rather than later, drowning it in books or for the sake to satisfy anyones standards, but you just stayed who you are.' She paused and placed her hand in the middle of the table, where their hands had met so often over the course of brunch. 'I read your name on my student list the first day, before I got into class and I knew who you were. And I knew it must have been you that night, because something about you got me even as you were just a little child. I adored you, like someone adores a child. I remembered everything about you visiting us back home, remembered the cruelty of your father and the painful disinterest of your mother. I remembered you laughing against all odds and one of your fist words were my name.' She smiled a little sad smile. 'I remembered you being happy in our garden and I wondered where you found the strength to end up here. My most promising student.' She looked at him and he just felt everything at once. The anger about his parents, about the family that hadn't been the support system he'd needed, the sadness of being the lest important child, the loneliness after they'd stopped visiting the Potters even if that memory just crept back in after Doug had shown him the Potter house. And Pacey wondered to what point she might aim. He was afraid she's turn around, landing on the "most-promising-student"-lane, never mentioning any other emotion again, but than again there was hope in his heart, because she seemed so willing to let him be part of her story. 'I am really proud of what you've achieved and I am afraid, that when I let myself get involved with you, that maybe you would loose your motivation. Loose your flow, you know? Being distracted, because you would have lost the reason to distract yourself with studies.' He stared at her.

'What are you saying here, Jo?' His voice was hoarse. And she smiled shyly.

'I guess I am saying, that I would very much like to tell you, I like you too. I like you a whole lot and much more than is appropriate and…'

His phone rang and he cursed it.

'Go on, this can wait.' Joey waved dismissively. He looked at her but she shook her head. 'No, it's okay, really. She'll call again until you pick up anyway…'

'How'd you know who it is?'

She grinned. 'It's no riddle. She cares about you, just like you care about her. You took her home safely yesterday and she want to check in with you. It's quite late already and you'd probably told her you'd be back by now.'

He chuckled and shook his head. 'That I did indeed. Excuse me for a moment, will you?'

'Sure thing.' She smiled and he stood and left the room, dialing Jen's number as he walked. The cold hit him hard as he stood outside, freezing, waiting for her to pick up the phone.

'Pacey, man…. You have me worried here.'

'Everything's fine, Jen. I don't know when I'll be back.' Pacey said with a trembling voice, because of the cold.

'You don't sound fine...'

'I'm standing outside, Jen. Just wanna tell you, I do not know when I'll be back, okay?'

'That good?'

He could almost see her widen her eyes and that special look on her face. 'That complicated. I promise to tell you everything.' He knew he sounded exactly as impatient as he felt. He wanted to get back in there and just desperately hoped, that she would tell him what she wanted to tell him the second Jen interrupted them.

'Okay, okay pumpkin. I'll be waiting for you. I'm out. Love you.'

'Love you too.' With that he hung up and got back into the house, rubbing his hands together to get the cold out as he approached their table, still amazed that she really was there.

'You wanted to say something?'

She nodded and looked at him. 'Everything ok?'

'Yeah, she just wanted to check in, just as you said.' He stated and sat down on the empty chair beside her, suddenly feeling the need to have the closest proximity to her than possible. He grabbed the cup with hot coffee to warm his hands with it.

'Okay than.' She took a deep breath. 'I guess, what I wanted to say is, that I hadn't had a relationship in a really, really long time. There was in fact no one as close to me as you are now since high school I guess.' He almost dropped the cup.

'You mean…?'

She shrugged. 'Yes.' Joey took a real deep breath. 'I mean I started college, than my mom fell sick and died on us in the blink of an eye, my sister was pregnant by that time... So I studied like crazy, waited every night in some club, tried to help my sister with the income until the baby was born and given up for adoption. After I finished college there had been work. And college obviously, now as professor…. Well, I hadn't had the time nor the interest.' She gave him an uncertain look. 'Until you came along, waltzing into my life.'

'Meaning?' He'd placed the cup carefully back unto the table, looked at her expectantly, his hand carefully found it's way to her's, still laying on the table. And the tiniest smile graced her lips for a second as their hands touched.

'Will you promise me to not stop studying like you do? With all your heard and energy. Because you're so damn good at what you do, it would be a shame to see you letting it go.'

He nodded, even if he didn't get what she was about. 'Well, yes, I don't have any intention to let go of studying. But why?' He felt his heart racing again and this roaring hope inside made him almost burst.

'Because I think I've fallen for you too…' Her voice was a mere whisper as she looked straight into his eyes, making his knees go weak.

'You think?' He asked with the slightest hitch of uncertainty.

'I know.' Her eyes met his and he smiled at her broadly. All the tension suddenly disappeared and all he could feel was a great and unexpected joy floating his body and soul, stopping him from seeing straight. And following an impulse he laid his hand on her cheek, running his thump over her soft skin. Taking in all of her and as her eyes fluttered shut with a hitched breath his hand found it's way into the crook of her neck and into her hair. His breath came quick and the unbearable desire to kiss her almost made it impossible to breathe at all. His heart beat as if it was about to jump out of his chest and his whole body felt on fire. As she opened her eyes again and her desire was openly written in them he closed his eyes and pulled her into the most breathtaking kiss. The moment their lips met, he forgot the world around them, everything just swirling around him and into unimportance. There were just she and him, she seemed to be the center of his thinking and of his feeling. There was nothing as important as to be right here. Right now. Kissing her as if there was no tomorrow. And as she cupped his face with her hands, really, everything else just ceased to exist.

Please leave a comment.