Disclaimer: If I seriously owned anything in this story, do you think I'd be writing it? Exactly. I own Charity Burns, her family members, and all the other OCs. Nothing else. Zip. Zero. Nothing. Nada. Notadamnthing. :) Kapeesh? :)

A/N: Hey guys! Has it really been 10 days? Oh gosh, I am SO sorry for the wait. I hate doing that. I really, really do. But I want these last chapters to be the best they can be and I hated what I had written for a while, but I think I finally have something. There will be most likely at the moment, two more chapters after this. That's what I'm aiming for... but as you can see with my last 'ending guesses' I've always said something else, haha. Well, enjoy the update and I promise there will be another update soon. I plan on finishing this before the Holiday weekend is up. Yes, seriously. OH and I put a banner up for this story on my profile. I'm so cool... I used paint on my computer, ha. Anyway... enjoy!

I hate the look they are giving me. It's that pathetic 'I'm-so-damn-sorry-for-your-loss-sweetie-are-you-okay?' look which just makes me want to scream and throw a temper tantrum. No, it's not okay, it hasn't been okay and I don't care if you're sorry. You could never understand my pain unless you are me… which you're not, so stop staring at me. So, yeah, they are my family but at the moment, I'll take nothing to do with them.

At the church was just a plain, soggy mess, full of tears and words I just don't want to hear ever again. Just seeing my brother in the casket and knowing that his lungs will never take another breath or he that his lips will never smile again is just heart breaking.

I just felt like screaming inside the church. Everyone just continues with those pitiful looks.

We're waiting for the burial people now, so they can place Penn's body into the hole they dug earlier today. Mom and father picked a really nice tombstone for Penn, it's really pretty and something Penn would like. There are a couple lines that Penn lived by that they had engraved onto it, too which just makes looking at it even harder.

I have to let my mind wander or I'll just break down again, like I did at the church. Father tried to be a good 'father' and pick me up and carry me back to my seat, but I knew it was all an act. I don't know why he bothers sometimes. I can't even think of what to say anymore when it comes to him… I'm just sore of the subject, I suppose.

I'm not a child; I should be able to take care of myself. I shouldn't be crying non-stop. I should have self control and a posture that no one can break down. I'm just too old to believe that I can do so anymore. Penn was always my security blanket, that voice of reason I always needed to make the right choice when I was younger. I knew if I asked him, I would have the answer that was correct. Wise beyond his years, perhaps, or just a damn good guesser, Penn always had it right.

How am I supposed to make the right choices now?

You're a grown woman, Charity. You can and will make your own choices. Penn may be gone, but you will move on, my mind told me, trying to reason with my more angry thoughts.

Charity two went back at Charity one, no, I won't. He's gone and he was the only thing I could rely on now. What am I going to do? I'm not anything without him… how can I even get up in the morning?

Charity one: You're being ridiculous. You are your own person. Penn wouldn't be around to guide you every move forever, anyway. Stop acting like you depended on him for everything. He wasn't around when you went to Carolina. You made choices then, didn't you?

Charity two: That doesn't count. I was forced to!

Charity one: There isn't any difference now. Honestly, grow up. Penn wouldn't want you like this. You know what? You're a big baby. A big crybaby who won't let her heart do what it wants.

I am so sick of fighting with myself. I watch as the Digging People finally arrive and get ready to stick the casket into the ground. Mom comes up on my side, squeezing my shoulder. Maybe I am a big baby, since I'm already feeling the tears slip down my face… yes, a big baby indeed.

Shouldn't the waterworks run out eventually? I must be numb soon… I have to be. I can't take crying. I don't want to be a crybaby anymore. Maybe Charity one is right… maybe I need to think on my own… hell, that's my mind playing games with me. There is only one Charity. One body, one mind… I'd say I need some serious help.

'I'm so sorry, hunny. If you ever need anything, call me.' 'Your brother was a wonderful person. It's a shame that he is gone. Stay strong, sweetie.' 'Do you remember when I used to watch you guys play in the tub together? Oh honey, I'm going to miss him so much. Please, if you ever want to go have coffee or just want to see me, please do. Grandma Claire just loves you so much.' 'Hey, cuz. Remember that one time we went to that park and freaked our parents out? Penn always planned the most awesome times.' 'Hunny, please, it's going to be okay, stop crying.' 'Charity Bella Burns, if you don't stop crying, just go to your damn room! This is now a time to remember your brother, not make everyone depressed! Damn girl just can't let everyone else enjoy this...'

I'll let you guess who the last person was that said that to me only seconds ago. We're only back at my house ten minutes and everyone has already swarmed me. It's nice that everyone (well mostly everyone) cares that I'm so upset over this, but can't anyone ever leave me alone? I want to grieve in peace. I want to be able to cry my eyes out and just scream until no sound comes from my throat. I want to tear off my father's head too.

I try to hide my tears for the remainder of the night. We hear wonderful memories and stories from Penn and my childhood, since we grew up so close in age. There are stories of skinned knees, first days of school, weekends with Grandma, Christmas and other holiday adventures, and just so much more that makes me miss Penn so much.

We order Chinese food, Penn's favorite dish to eat for dinner and reminisce over old home videos of Penn and I around when we were two. You wouldn't know that the boy had just died. People are laughing and drinking beer as if they were at some party.

I must escape.

It takes a bit, but I finally escape to my room, upstairs, so very far away from all the upbeat chatter and laughter. I don't know if they all are just talking happily so that their mind doesn't go to the horror of this all, but I just can't seem to find anything happy about this day.

The first thing I see when I come into my room is the letter. The white envelope is bright as day in my room, stopping any other sight of anything other than it. I stare at it long and hard before picking it up and heading to that room where I know I'll feel safe: Penn's room.

Meanwhile…

-Matt's POV-

"Do you think we should just tell him?" Beth asks me softly, trying to keep her voice concealed from his hearing. I smile, shaking my head. Beth chuckles softly, watching him too. "It's sort of cruel, almost, you know?"

"It's funny," I reply, my eyes glimmering. Shannon sits at my computer desk, hunched over for about an hour now, going over every page in my friends list on myspace. We really can't stay mad at him, so we're sort of forgetting the information that we'd found out at the arena only days before.

Now we're just amused that he's searching every page for her. Okay, want the deal? Alright. Well, see, Shannon came over about four hours ago, begging for forgiveness. After what seemed like forever if trying to convince him it was okay, he finally asked to use my computer, stating that his computer's battery was dead and he had to use one at that moment. We asked why and viola! The reject wants to find Charity on myspace. So that's what he's doing on there right now.

On page 304 of my friends list, trying to get through over 100,000 friends. I do believe he's pretty crazy. Jeff and Beth say he's a man run by love… okay, yeah, sure. You know why he's crazy? I have her number, myspace, and everything else needed to contact her on my email address. He just isn't smart enough to ask for it.

"She's got to be here somewhere!" he mutters, slapping his hands on his thighs, making a growling sound as he clicks to the next page, studying each picture carefully.

"Matt, I can't just watch him do this… though Shannon is an ass, he doesn't deserve this… just tell him," Beth whispers.

"No, I'm enjoying this way too much," I reply back with a wide smile.

"Tell him," she says, shoving me, which makes me fall farther into the room, making me too catch Shannon's attention.

"What's goin' on?" he asks tiredly, rolling his green eyes.

"Tell him!" Beth giggles.

"No," I state firmly through gritted teeth.

"Tell me what?" Shannon's face twists into confusion.

"Nothing," I mutter.

"That Matt has Charity's number? Oh, and her address too, perhaps?" Beth says before I can cover her mouth to stop her.

"Beth!" I whine. There goes my fun for the night.

"You what?" Shannon asks. "Matt, you fucking dick! Give me it!"

I laugh at my best friend while giving Beth a death glare and shove him off the computer seat and log into the yahoo account, opening the winning email which almost seems to be from so long ago. "Here, here. I was going to tell you eventually."

"Yeah, sure you were," Shannon grumbles, looking at the screen, while pulling out his phone.

"You're going to call her?" Beth asks warily from the side.

"Yeah, why?"

"Maybe you should give her some time, Shannon. Her brother just died for God's sake! Give the girl sometime to cope. Plus, the funeral was today."

Beth and Shannon exchange a glance that says he's not going to listen to her. I want to step in and say something, but I'm not sure what. Beth is right and Shannon needs to chill, yet at the same time, I can understand his need to speak to her.

"Beth, I don't expect you to understand how badly I need to speak to her. The longer I wait, the more she's going to hate me. I've screwed up enough in the past as it is and now, I need to make things right." He pauses to take a deep breath. "Even if they are not right, I'll feel better knowing I tried."

Beth's eyes narrow just a little but she doesn't say anything. Before another work is spoken, she slips out of the room.

Shannon looks directly at me. "Before I call her, I need to know. Is this going to come between us?" His green eyes are intense and full of emotion. "Please, I just need to know."

Sighing, I shake my head. "I was never a threat to you. I just saw a girl thought, wow, she's different. Don't worry about me, Shan. You and Charity belong together." I'll find the girl of my dreams someday, I add mentally. She's out there somewhere waiting for me.

He studies me for a moment then nods. "Alright, thanks man. Thanks." With that, he runs out of the room and bolts from my house before I can even ask another question.

I head back into the kitchen, Beth and Jeff at the table, Beth's eyes in a hazy gaze out of the window. A one second look at Jeff and he just shrugs, even though I do know to an extent of what is bothering her. "Beth, you have to let him call her, he's right."

Beth shrugs. "Matt, she's extremely hurt. Take it from me; I know when a girl is not going to really listen to what he has to say. And with Shannon… that isn't going to be a lot."

I don't know why, but I just have a feeling about this. So, I reply, "Look, I know I'm not the best in the relationship department, but let me tell you this, the longer they stay apart from each other, the more it's going to tear them both apart… let. them. speak."

"If she gets hurt even worse, then what, Matt?" Beth snaps at me, her eyes raging. "Show that you care about the damn girl. She's fragile as it is and Shannon going and calling her, especially after her brother's funeral isn't going to help any matters. Sure, it's going to make it a little harder for them to talk after, but right now is not the time for them to talk. You know Charity just as well as I do, don't let the fact that Shannon is your best friend and trying to do the right thing cloud that."

I shake my head slowly, trying to not let my stubborn quality get the better of me. "Beth, we're never going to agree on this. Let's leave it at that and hope for the best."

-

-Shannon's POV-

She won't answer her phone. She can't know it's me! She can't… can she? No, she definitely can't. Why won't she answer then? Maybe because my number is coming up private? I have no clue anymore. I wish I can just talk to her, let her explain my view of everything. Make something over this past week I have done, right. She's not helping.

I look at the paper before me, the one I printed out back at Matt's house, with her myspace, phone number, and address on it. My phone is on my lap, her number waiting patiently on the screen, waiting for me to redial.

Then, it hits me. My eyes fall down onto the paper once more and I know what I'm going to do. I could leave a message for her on myspace… God only knows if she'll answer.

No, that's not what I'm going to do.

Before I can even stop to think about the idea, I plug in my computer and turn it on, waiting for it to load. When it finally does, I get onto the internet and sign quickly on to the website known as mapquest.

It might sound insane. Hell, it probably is insane. Then again, when is Shannon Moore ever sane? Never.

Quickly as my computer allows me to do so, I print out directions from Whispering Pines, North Carolina, to New York, where Charity lives and run towards the door. I don't stop to think about my poor dogs, or if they'll need someone to let them out. Hell, they can go on the carpet for all I care if I get my answer.

Pulling my keys from my pocket, I hop into my car and stop to breathe for a moment. Do I really need to go to New York at four in the morning? Probably not.

As if that's going to stop me.

I, Shannon Moore, am going to New York to find Charity. She'll listen to me then. She'll have no choice. I will make things right.

Next update should be either tomorrow, or on Thursday (Thanksgiving)! :) If not, (because I have a couple friends in the Macy's day parade and I plan on stalking my TV and couch on Thursday morning, just so I can make fun of them when they come back) it will definitely be on Friday, and probably the next update (and probably last) sometime over the weekend. Well, read and review, please. :) Thanks everyone. :D