Everyone stared at the little green tree frog that was croaking helplessly in Rachel's hands. "You can do that?" Katelyn said hoarsely.

Rachel shrugged. "Well, sort of. Look. He's still got human eyes. And he's wearing tiny shoes."

"But you're in fourth year Transfig," Hannah protested.

Rachel shook her head. "I'm not in your class, haven't you guys noticed? I'm in fifth year Transfiguration. That's why I have Transfig while you guys have Astronomy. When I have Astronomy, you guys have Transfig. I have to take Astronomy with fourth year Ravenclaws, and let me tell you, it get pretty bor—hello!" Seamus had just made a desperate bid for freedom, and it was only with extreme agility and quicksilver movements that Rachel was able to catch him in time. "You wouldn't want to fall, dearest Zorro," she crooned. "You'd die."

Seamus croaked darkly.

"What's he saying?" Dean asked curiously.

"He's just confessed his undying love for me," Rachel replied with a grin, stroking Seamus' slimy green head.

"That was a nice bit o' Transfiguration work there, lassie."

They all jumped and whipped around to see Mad-Eye Moody stumping down the hall towards them. "Oh," Rachel stammered. "I, uh…t-thank you."

His magical blue eye focused on the frog she held in her hands. "I don't think you want your friend there to be late for his first Defense Against the Dark Arts class, however."

Rachel gulped. "I…uh…don't know the countercurse, Professor Moody—sir."

"There is no countercurse!" he barked, scaring them all half to death.

"There's not?"

"No, there isn't. What you have to do is this." He pulled out his wand, jerked it slightly, and said, "Humanus Transfigurus!"

"OW!"

"Come along, lad, it's not nice to land on girls," Moody said, helping Seamus to his feet.

"Yeah, Finnigan," Rachel groaned, now lying spread-eagled on the ground, laid low by the sudden weight of Seamus on her stomach. Moody took her hand and hauled her up, too. Seamus made a furious move towards her, but Mad-Eye grabbed the hood of his robe just in time. "Down, laddie. Say you're sorry to this young woman."

"Sorry, Rachel," Seamus growled.

"Apology accepted," Rachel said haughtily.

"Now, lassie," Mad-Eye went on, "you apologize to your classmate here."

"Sorry, Seamus," she sighed.

"Apology accepted," he said, crossing his arms.

Rachel stuck her tongue out at him.

-----------------------------------------

Despite their original trepidations, the Funny Farm's first two months of classes went encouragingly well. Their homework load remained at a relatively sane amount, and that Friday they'd get out early from Potions—the delegations from the French and Bulgarian schools were arriving, and that meant Kim for Katelyn and enlightening foreign mingling for Hannah and Rachel (Tanya was just looking forward to the action of the Triwizard Tournament). But best of all, perhaps, were the letters that they got late Thursday afternoon.

"AAAAHHHHHH!"

"What? Who died? Where'd they go? What?"

Hannah came running into the room with a huge grin and chucked five cream-colored envelopes into Tanya's, Rachel's, Katelyn's, Dean's, and Seamus' laps. "Lookie, lookie, lookie!"

"What-ie, what-ie, what-ie?"

"Well, open them. Duh."

So they slit open the envelopes.

"You Are Invited to Attend"

the headline said in curly letters. It continued thus:

The union of Oliver S. Wood and Haley R. Schreiter

in holy matrimony

this twenty-third day of December 2005

at 11:00 am.
The ceremony will take place

at

Our Blessed Lady of Saints Cathedral

24th Street

London, England.

The reception will be held

at

Cambridge Bros. Banquet Hall

The Reverend Thomas Towne will be presiding.

The bride is registered at Barnes and Noble, Target, and Toys 'R' Us.

"They're really getting married!"

Everyone looked up at Seamus. "Well, yeah."

"I thought…I thought they were just…joking," he said lamely.

Everyone shook their heads. "Where've you been?" Katelyn asked.

He flushed.

"I know," Fred Weasley said with a mischievous grin. "He's been kissing Rachel the past three years."

"I have not!" he said indignantly.

"Ah, but you've been thinking about it for the past three years," George replied with an equally wicked look.

"Have not!" Seamus protested. "It's only been one and a half! Oops."

Fred and George collapsed on each other in hysterics, and poor Seamus' face turned white as a sheet, but his ears remained beet red.

"You look like a turnip!" Katelyn shrieked.

Fred and George jumped up from their seats and danced around the common room, singing, "Seamus and Rachel, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! Ahahahaha…"

Rachel stuffed her fingers in her ears and looked mortified. "I did not just hear that."

Hannah grinned and held up an invisible violin, making scratchy Hitchcock-string sounds.

"But—but," Seamus stuttered, nearly shouting to make himself heard over the general chaos of people laughing. "But Dean's been thinking of kissing Hannah, too!"

It was suddenly so silent that you could've heard a pin drop. Dean had long since ceased his sniggering and now just sat limply in his chair, bright red. And then Rachel began to laugh. It didn't take everyone else long to join in, and soon Hannah was blushing, too.

"Let me tell you," Rachel said in a low voice, "you make a much cuter couple with Dean than I did."

Hannah blushed even more and smashed her invisible violin against her forehead.