Chapter Seventeen:

I Hear Wedding Bells!

When the Funny Farm arrived at Our Blessed Lady cathedral, they found everyone scurrying about in a panic. "Thank goodness you're here," cried one dark-haired, frazzled-looking young woman who was dressed in the same way that the girls were.

"What's wrong, Angela?" Mrs. Schreiter asked.

"Haley's locked herself in her dressing room and is beginning to say that she won't marry Oliver, that's what's wrong!"

"And how did he react?"

"No one's told him yet," Angela whispered.

"This is silly," Hannah said loudly. "Haley loves Oliver, I'm sure of it! Why would she not want to marry him?"

"That's what I thought," Angela replied.

"We can't just stand here, then," Hannah continued. "Come on, Tanya, Katelyn, Rachel. We've got to talk some sense into Snoodles."

"What about us?" Dean asked.

"Just stand there and look nice," Hannah replied, and then she and the other girls followed Mrs. Schreiter into the depths of the cathedral.

After a few minutes of scurrying about in the dimly lit corridors, Mrs. Schreiter stopped in front of what looked like a library door. "Haley, darling," she called, rapping gently at the door.

"What?" came Haley's teary voice.

"Hannah and Tanya and Rachel and Katelyn are here to say he—"

"Chicas!"

Haley flung open the door with a joyous cry, her earlier breakdown apparently all but forgotten. "Mis chicas!"

"Hey, Haley!" they exclaimed, catching their eldest member in a hug. "What's up?"

"I'll let you five catch up," Mrs. Schreiter said with a grin.

Healey let the girls into the room and latched the door. Indeed, it was a converted library, but Haley's tiara and veil lay draped over an armchair, and a pair of white heels poked from underneath a discarded t-shirt. Haley was already in her gorgeous white dress, but a fuzzy blue blanket was tucked securely around her shoulders.

"Why don't you want to marry Oliver?" Tanya asked right off the bat, blissfully ignorant to her obvious lack of timing. Rachel, Katelyn, and Hannah all shared a sigh as Haley's eyes filled with melodramatic tears.

"I do," she began, but snatched up a crumpled Kleenex and blew her nose loudly. "I just don't think I'm ready."

"Haley, you're going to be nineteen in just a few months. You're perfectly within your boundaries, each physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and legally, to marry this man!"

"I know," Haley sighed.

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do!" Haley exclaimed. "What an awful thing to ask!"

"Then marry him, for land's sakes," Rachel said loudly. "I'm so sick of people actually knowing how they feel about someone and then hemming and hawing about it when they could be acting on it! Law, it makes me sick."

Everyone blinked at this rather vehement nineteenth-century outburst of Rachel's. "What is the matter with you?" Katelyn asked.

"Let's not talk about this on Haley's wedding day," Rachel replied. "Look, Haley—you have to walk up that aisle in twenty minutes. Are you going to do this or not?"

"Of course I am!" Haley said indignantly. "Hannah, robe me."

Together, Hannah and Tanya arranged the tiara on Haley's elegantly-styled hair, while Katelyn worked on getting Haley's feet into the sandals and Rachel touched up the makeup that had been smeared by Haley's tears ("That's about the extent of my makeup abilities!" Rachel said with a laugh.).

Ten minutes later, the girls were nearly having to hold Haley back from running out the door and into her Ollie-bear's arms. "This is a good sign," Hannah said to Katelyn as they left the room, after threatening Haley with physical harm if she were to leave before it was time.

"Definitely," Katelyn agreed.

"Oh, look!" Rachel exclaimed, pointing. "Mrs. Finnigan's here!"

The girls hurried towards Dean and Seamus and his mother, who was dressed in a very becoming lavender suit-dress. "Hello, Mrs. Finnigan," Rachel said.

Mrs. Finnigan's face broke into a smile. "Why, hello, loves! How are you?"

"Good! I'm glad to see you've survived the aftershock of chaperoning us," Katelyn replied.

Mrs. Finnigan awkwardly embraced them all, her very swollen stomach making it difficult to do otherwise. "So—I've heard nearly everything about the Yule Ball. I'm so excited for you all." She pulled Rachel and Seamus into a warm hug. "Especially you two!"

"Er…why, Mam?" Seamus asked uncomfortably.

"Aren't you going with—oh, dear. You aren't, are you?" Mrs. Finnigan looked rather embarrassed. "Seamus, you told me you asked her!"

"But you didn't let me finish!" he replied crossly. "I was going to say that I was about to ask Rachel to go as friends when this other student asked her first!"

"I'd rather have gone with Seamus than with Nickolay, believe me, Mrs. Finnigan," Rachel said, repeating her sentiment from a few days earlier.

"I think it would've been easier for both of us if we'd just gone together," he said dryly.

"No kidding."

Just then, the doors to the chapel opened, and the guests began to file in. "Sorry, guys," Hannah said to the Finnigans and Dean, "but we need to get our flowers and go stand at the front."

"Hurry along, then," Mrs. Finnigan replied, and shooed them off.

They took their small bouquets from Mrs. Schreiter, smoothed their dresses, and waited for the groomsmen to show up. "Is the flower girl going before us or after us?" Tanya asked no one in particular.

"Before, apparently," said Hannah, for the tuxedoed groomsmen brought with them a little blonde-haired girl dressed in a bouncy green dress and holding a basket of red and white flower petals.

"I'm Becca Wood," she announced, bounding over to them. "I'm seven," she added, holding up six fingers.

"Are you Oliver's sister?" Tanya asked.

Becca gave her a disdainful look. "No. I'm Oliver's…n-n…nice."

"You're Oliver's niece?" Rachel cooed, kneeling down. "Is your daddy Oliver's brother?"

Becca nodded, pleased to have an attentive audience. "He said I'm gonna have a new auntie."

Just then, the organ inside the stained-glass chapel began to play, and a man with a thick Scottish accent shooed her inside. Becca immediately went skipping down the aisle, scattering petals and humming loudly as she went.

When she was done, the same man took Angela's arm and started down the aisle. The remaining groomsmen each took an arm of one of the female Funny Farm members and walked them down the aisle. It was quite awkward for the girls, as they'd never seen these men before in their lives—though Katelyn was rather sure she'd seen her escort at Haley and Oliver's graduation.

But however uncomfortable they felt, it was over in a moment, and Oliver, who'd been standing alone on the dais, looked relieved to have some backup.

And then it was time for Haley's entrance. The organist began playing Mendelssohn's Bridal Chorus, and everyone turned expectantly towards the door.

But Haley didn't enter. Instead, with a rush of annoyance, the girls heard muffled pounding and shouting. As if they shared one brain, Hannah, Katelyn, Rachel, and Tanya handed their bouquets to Angela, set their jaws, and marched back down the aisle. When they reached the double doors, they threw them wide open, marched through, and began tugging at Haley's white-gloved hands while poor Mr. Schreiter pushed at her from behind.

"No! No! No!" Haley was shrieking, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Don't be stupid, Haley," Hannah hissed. "Pull!"

The girls heaved backwards and, using their leverage, began to lead Haley tripping and lurching down the aisle. The organist slowed the march to a plodding pace; poor Oliver's face was a mottled red color.

But then Haley's eyes popped open, and hers and Oliver's eyes met. Needless to say, she broke from the girls' grips and practically ran the rest of the way to the altar.

The Reverend blinked as the bridesmaids took their places again, but nevertheless opened his Bible and began. "We gather in the presence of God to give thanks for the gift of marriage, to witness the joining together of Oliver Wood and Haley Schreiter, to surround them with our prayers, and to ask God's blessing upon them, so that they may be strengthened for their life together and nurtured in their love for God.

"God created us male and female, and gave us marriage so that husband and wife may help and comfort each other, living faithfully together in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, in life and in death, for better or for worse, throughout all their days.

"God gave us marriage for the well-being of human society, for the ordering of family life, and for the birth and nurture of children.

"God gave us marriage as a holy mystery in which a man and a woman are joined together, and become one, just as Christ is with the church.

"In marriage, husband and wife are called to a new way of life, created, ordered, and blessed by God. This way of life must not be entered into carelessly, or from selfish motives, but responsibly, and prayerfully.

"We rejoice that marriage is given by God, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ, and sustained by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, let marriage be held in honor by all."

The minister paused to give everyone a chance to recover from this rather circular speech. "If the congregation will rise…" There was a distinct rumbling sound as everyone got to their feet.

"Let us pray: Gracious God, you are always faithful in your love for us. Look mercifully upon Oliver and Haley, who have come asking your blessing. Let your Holy Spirit rest upon them, so that with steadfast love they may honor the promises they make this day, through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen."

Everyone sat, and Rachel began to feel tingling in her feet. She was not used to wearing high heels. She shifted uncomfortably, and Seamus winked and gave her a thumbs-up when she caught his eye.

"Oliver," said the minister, looking to the Quidditch player, "understanding that God has created, ordered, and blessed the covenant of marriage, do you affirm your desire and intention to enter this covenant?"

"I do," said Oliver, swallowing visibly.

"Haley," the minister continued, turning to the bride, "understanding that God has created, ordered, and blessed the covenant of marriage, do you affirm your desire and intention to enter this covenant?"

"I do," Haley said firmly.

"Friends and family of this couple, do you give your blessing to Oliver and Haley, and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them in their marriage?"

"We do," the congregation rumbled.

"Let us pray," said the Reverend. "God of mercy, your faithfulness to your covenant frees us to live together in the security of your powerful love. Amid all the changing words of our generations, speak your eternal Word that does not change. Then may we respond to your gracious promises by living in faith and obedience, through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen."

The reverend cleared his throat. "'Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, jealousy is cruel as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned.' Song of Solomon 8:6-7.

"Will the congregation rise for the exchange of the wedding vows?"

Everyone got to their feet again. "Oliver, Haley," said the minister, "since it is your intention to marry, join your right hands, and with your promises bind yourselves to each other as husband and wife."

Haley and Oliver took the other's hands.

"If there be anyone who has any opposition to this marriage, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

The congregation was silent.

"Oliver, let Haley hear your troth."

Oliver turned to Haley, took a deep breath, and said slowly and deliberately, "Haley, darling, I think I first fell in love with you when I saw you with your nose in a book and ink marks all over your face. It was our first year at school together, and, to tell you the truth, I was smitten. People laughed at us for a while when we started dating—the House sports captain and the resident bookworm—but I didn't care. You were perfect—you are perfect. I still can't believe I'm the guy you chose," he added with a slight chuckle. "But I love you more than anything, Haley, I really do. I can't wait to be able to tell you that every day for the rest of our lives."

The girls each had to repress shivers of romantic delight.

"Haley, let Oliver hear your troth."

Haley smiled. "Oliver—my Ollie-bear—I honestly had no idea you liked me that much until the end of our fifth year. I should've noticed—I mean, I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to Gryffindor. Your complete foolishness when it came to your team stole my heart, Oliver, it really did. You still make my heart pound like crazy when I hear your voice. Someday when we're old and grey you'll ask me to pass the potatoes and I'll die of a heart attack!"

There was laughter, and Haley chuckled, wiping away a few stray tears. "I chose you, Oliver, because you are the most wonderful man that ever walked the earth. If I live to be a thousand years old, I'll still pick you over any other man that lived. Even over Feanor. I think that shows how much I love you, Ollie."

The chapel exploded in spontaneous applause, and a boy in a stiff-looking tuxedo got up and stood at the ready.

"What do you bring as the sign of your promise?" the Reverend asked.

The boy practically leapt forward with the two rings on a scarlet pillow. The Reverend took one and held it aloft. "By your blessing, oh God, may these rings be to Oliver and Haley symbols of unending love and faithfulness, reminding them of the covenant they have made this day, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

Oliver took the ring from the Reverend. "This ring I give you, Haley, as a sign of our constant faith and abiding love." And he slipped the ring onto her finger.

Haley, who was obviously shaking with excitement, took the other ring from the reverend, slipping it onto Oliver's finger. "This ring I give you, as a sign of our constant faith and abiding love."

The reverend nodded. "Let us pray: Eternal God, without your grace no promise is sure. Strengthen Oliver and Haley with patience, kindness, gentleness, and all other gifts of your Spirit, so that they may fulfill these vows they have made. Keep them faithful to each other and to you. Fill them with such love and joy that they may build a home of peace and welcome. Guide them by your Word to serve you all their days. Help us, oh God, to do your will in each of our homes and lives. Enrich us with your grace so that, supporting one another, we may serve those in need and hasten the coming of peace, love, and justice on earth, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

"Amen," echoed the congregation.

"Now—do you, Oliver, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the reverend asked.

"I do," said Oliver.

"Do you, Haley, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the reverend continued.

"I do," said Haley.

"Then join me as we say the Lord's Prayer. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name; thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen."

The air was filled with breathless expectancy, and not a soul stirred in the entire chapel.

"Before God, and in the presence of this congregation, Oliver and Haley have made their solemn vows to each other by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings. Therefore, I now pronounce you, Oliver and Haley, husband and wife. Oliver, you may kiss the bride."

With a grin, Oliver leaned over Haley's bouquet. The entire congregation 'awwed' simultaneously as the newly married couple kissed.

"Whatever you do," the reverend continued, "in word and deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God through him. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord be kind and gracious to you. The Lord look upon you with favor and give you peace. Go and be blessed."

Oliver took Haley's hand, and together they went back down the aisle to joyful cheering from the congregation. The groomsmen and the bridesmaids followed after, leading the rest of the people in an almost mad rush to collect the packets of rose petals and bottles of bubbles from the attendants.

"Stop right there!"

Everyone froze. But it was only the wedding photographer talking to Oliver and Haley and snapping away madly. First, sentimental ones of the newlyweds smooching and gazing romantically into each other's eyes; then family ones with the Schreiters and the Woods, then both families; and finally wedding-party ones.

"Come along, miss," the photographer snapped at Rachel, who was highly reluctant to have her picture taken.

Seamus shooed her towards the snowy steps, and she mournfully got into place behind Hannah and was forced to smile through five or six different shots.

But it was soon over, and a long white limo was pulling up in front of the cathedral, much to the excitement of the guests that were lining the long path to the street. With sappy sweet smiles at each other, Oliver and Haley Wood made their way through flying rose petals, congratulating guests, and shimmering bubbles to the limousine that would carry them to the reception.