Chapter 20:

Of Chapstick and Things Almost Happening

Seamus and Rachel scampered off at Mrs. Finnigan's insistence, and went to find the rest of the Funny Farm. Hannah and Dean were out dancing again, and Katelyn had returned from her dances with Eric the sound guy.

"Hey, you two," she said when she spotted them. "So, uh…where've you been? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no mo-ah, say no mo-ah!"

Rachel shot her such an evil-dark-lord's-going-to-keel-you-and-I'll-laugh look that Katelyn yelped and took cover on the opposite side of the table. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Katelyn whispered. "I'm just saying—you two went off alone, and—"

Rachel dove for her bag, and would have whipped out her want in front of dozens of Muggles, had not Seamus grabbed her arms and pulled her away from it.

"It's not worth it, Su," he said quietly.

Rachel flushed. "I suppose you're right…I guess," she conceded. "But it would've been so much fun to hex her…"

Katelyn took this opportunity to flee.

"You're better at fixing people who've been hexed, my friend," Seamus said. "Ever notice how people always come to you when they need a countercurse or help unhexing something?"

"I guess," Rachel sighed, and then got a funny look on her face. "Speaking of fixing things…"

Seamus blanched.

"…your tie. You know it bothers me when you tie it around your head like that! Come here and let me fix it for you."

Seamus went willingly. Rachel got the tie's knot undone quickly enough, but when it came to doing it up again around his neck, she obviously faltered. "Er…"

"Do you remember how to tie a tie?" he asked.

"Well…" she replied. "I, um…usually just charm mine. I thought I remembered how, but then again I've never tied it around someone else's neck before…"

"You'll be a terrible wife someday," he teased, and put his hands around hers to demonstrate, but she waved them away.

"That's why I'm practicing on you." She proceeded to tie the knot and arrange it neatly.

"Hey, you did it," he said.

"Oh, don't sound so surprised," Rachel replied with a grin, patting his chest.

Seamus decided at that moment that he would kiss her right then and there. He took a deep breath, put his hands on hers, leaned forward—and would have kissed her if Katelyn had not run up. "Guys, guys, guys!" she cried.

Rachel and Seamus jumped and blushed. "What, what, what?" Rachel asked.

"Haley and Oliver are leaving!" Katelyn replied. "They'll miss their flight if we don't hurry."

Rachel stepped out of Seamus' vicinity and hurried to get something out of her canvas bag, leaving Katelyn and Seamus in suddenly awkward silence.

"I saw what you tried to do, Finnigan," Katelyn hissed after a moment.

Seamus felt heat rising into his face. "What do you mean?"

Katelyn gave him a dark look. "As Rachel's friend and kinda-sorta-not-really sister, I feel it is my duty to warn you that if you make her cry, sad, cause her heart to break, or even think about causing her any sort of emotional distress, article VI, paragraph III, section XII of the Funny Farm's Rules to Dating and Love gives me free rein to personally disembowel you and castrate you with Rachel's tearstained Kleenexes. Just FYI."

Rachel chose this moment to return. "You look pale, Seamus. Are you all right?"

"He's fine," said Katelyn. "Come on, let's go say goodbye to the Woods!"

Together they joined Hannah, Tanya, Dean, and several unknown Wood relatives. The two newlyweds smiled and shook hands with and thanked the relatives, then turned to the Funny Farm and crushed them in hugs.

"Congratulations, you two!" Katelyn said, getting a little teary-eyed.

Haley gave her an extra hug. "Thanks, guys. I'll send you guys each a postcard every single day, I promise."

"Where is it you're going, again?" Dean asked.

"France and Italy," Haley said, eyes sparkling. "Ollie managed to convince Puddlemere United that he was going on a trip to scout out French and Italian teams. So we'll have to fit a few Quidditch games in while we're gone in order to be reimbursed."

"That's so evil!" Rachel exclaimed. "…I like it."

Oliver checked his watch. "Haley, the plane leaves in an hour."

"All right, darling, just one more minute," Haley said.

"Seamus, Dean, Oliver, could we have a moment of privacy, please?" Rachel asked.

"Sure thing," Seamus said with a salute, and the three men retreated.

"What is it?" Haley asked.

Rachel looked more than a little embarrassed. "Well, I just thought that if Haley is off and married, it could happen to any of us."

"Hey!" said Haley.

"And since Haley is going to want to know every single aspect of our romantic lives—even though we're only fourth years—I thought we'd have a little 'secret code.'"

"What's that?"

Rachel handed everyone except Haley a tube of Chapstick. "I got this idea from Katelyn, from something she said to me a really long time ago. Don't ask me what it was, I can't remember. But the basic idea is this: after your first kiss, give us your Chapstick and we'll know. Then we'll mail it to Haley, and she'll know. Okay? That way, we won't have Hermione and Lavender and Parvati finding out. Well, Lavender and Parvati are really the only ones we have to worry about…but yeah."

"I like it," Katelyn said. "But remember—the Funny Farm's Rules of Dating and Love, article V, paragraph IV, section II clearly states that a first kiss consists of two consenting individuals. Each individual has to be active in the act of giving the kiss."

"Yes, Your Honor," Hannah said dryly.

"Sounds great!" Haley said, clapping. "But now I really have to go—I love you all! Hugs!" And thus she and Oliver hurried out of the door and into the night, where the only thing that shone brighter than Haley was the newly fallen snow glistening in the light of the moon.

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(A/N: Sorry this one's so short, but it came quick, didn't it! Yay for us! A last rash of updates before finals…)