Title: The Santa Sub
Author: Steph
Rating: G
Pairing: Hook/Emma
Characters: Hook & Emma
Category: Romance/Humor/Drama
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Nope!
Summary: Emma Swan is the new event coordinator for Macy's and it's her first year organizing the Thanksgiving Day Parade. When the man who usually plays Santa in the parade has a heart attack one week before the event, Emma is forced to replace him with the CEO's son, Killian Jones.
...The Santa Sub: Part 5/6...
Belle watched Emma stare blankly at her computer screen. She'd been like this for days, ever since she'd learned the truth about Killian.
"Emma, you can't go on like this."
"On like what?" she asked.
"I've seen zombies more alive than you. Why don't you just go see him?"
"What would be the point? It's over."
Belle reached over and covered Emma's hand with her own. "Emma, we've known each other since we were 16 years old and working the cash registers in the shoe department. We've been there for each other through the good and the bad, the failures and successes. I want you to be happy. I have never seen you happier than when you were with Killian. And I have never seen you more miserable now that you're without him."
Emma squeezed her eyes closed. "It's not that simple. I can't be with someone I can't trust."
"He's not Neal, Emma. Neal's feelings for you weren't real. Killian's are. I know you believe that."
"I don't know what to believe anymore," she whispered.
Belle shook her head. "Yes, you do. If Killian's feelings weren't real, then you never would have heard from him again. People aren't perfect, Emma. They make mistakes. Terrible mistakes. But sometimes you have to open your heart to second chances if you want a chance at happiness."
With that, Belle stood up and walked away. Emma watched Belle disappear from view before returning her attention to her computer screen.
…
That night, Emma stopped at the same hot dog cart and bought a hot dog. She would never admit it, but Killian had gotten her hooked on them. She'd had one every day since. She also wouldn't admit to herself that eating them reminded her of him.
She ate the hot dog as she walked along the sidewalk, stopping to admire the store window displays. There was something comforting in their familiarity. She could never count on much as a foster kid. Stability was non-existent. But she could always count on those Christmas window displays every year. They were magical and they always gave her hope that things could get better.
Emma continued to walk, stopping outside Macy's. Her eyes moved to the window display. Something was different. The display had been of a living room awaiting Santa's arrival. It had a fireplace with stockings hanging from it. A fully decorated and lit tree stood in the corner and gifts were placed beneath it. A chair sat front and center with an end table beside it. On the end table was a glass of milk, a plate of cookies, and a letter to Santa.
But now there was a new addition. Santa was sitting in the chair. But this wasn't a mannequin Santa or some stuffed, fake thing. No, there was a real, living and breathing Santa sitting in the chair. Emma's eyes met his and her heart skipped a beat. She'd know those eyes anywhere.
Her mouth dropped open, as she stood frozen to her spot. She watched as he picked up the letter that lay beside him on the table and then disappeared behind the fireplace.
He appeared a few moments later, standing in front of her on the sidewalk.
"Killian, what are you doing?" she asked.
"I needed to get your attention. I figured this was a good way."
Emma sighed. "I already told you there's nothing left to talk about."
He shook his head. "I don't want to talk. I just wanted to give you this."
He held the piece of paper up to her. "What is it?"
"It's a letter I wrote to Santa the Christmas after my mother died. I asked my father to mail it. I found it the day after Christmas crumpled up in his trash can. That's when I knew that Santa wasn't real. Five years old and my innocence was shattered just like that."
"Killian, that's awful, but I don't understand what it has to do with us."
"Please, just read it."
Emma let out a sigh, but proceeded to read the letter aloud.
"Dear Santa,
My mum died a few months ago. I miss her a lot. All my father ever does is work. I know he misses my mum too. I hear him crying at night sometimes. He doesn't know I hear him. I don't want any toys for Christmas, Santa. All I want is for my father to be happy again. Can you please make that happen?
Thank you and Merry Christmas,
Killian Jones"
Emma felt tears well up in her eyes. "That was sad, but really beautiful."
Killian shrugged with a slight smile. "My nanny helped me write it, hence the proper spelling."
"But I'm afraid I still don't see what it has to do with us."
"I took that letter out of that trash can when I was five years old, Emma, and I kept it all of these years. It's been with me wherever I've gone. It's traveled the world with me."
"Why?" she asked.
"To remind me that wishes don't come true. To help me remember that false hope can hurt as much as hopelessness."
"That's an awful way to look at the world."
Killian nodded. "Yes, it is. But that's the mindset I grew up with. The divide between my father and I grew with each passing year. I knew I couldn't count on him. He was so consumed with his own grief over my mother that he never acknowledged mine. Instead, he buried himself in his work. It was like I didn't exist to him, except to follow in his footsteps. I think that was why I was so resistant to go into business with him. I was afraid of becoming like him. Cold and cut-off from others. I decided I wanted to be the exact opposite. I would travel, have no permanent residence or job. I didn't want anyone to rely on me. What I didn't realize is that by doing that I became exactly like him. I had no real connections in this world. That is, until I met you."
Emma swallowed hard. She was beginning to understand why he had become the man he was today.
"What changed?" she asked.
"You changed everything, Emma. For the first time, I felt like I had a purpose. I felt a connection with someone that I hadn't felt since I was 5 years old. You made me want to be more, do something with my life. But the whole time I knew that if you ever learned the truth then I would lose you. And that scared me to death."
Emma took a deep breath. "Killian, I am glad that you realized it was time for you to make a change. But that doesn't change anything for us. I still feel like I can't trust you. I wish things could be different."
"I hurt you, Emma. You grew up being hurt by everyone who ever claimed to care about you and all I did was make you believe you were right to protect your heart all these years. But you weren't right, Emma. In order to open your heart to the possibility of love, you must also open it to the possibility of heartbreak. And what an absolute tragedy it would be to miss out on the possibility of love."
Emma swallowed hard, then shook her head. "I don't know what you want from me, Killian."
"I just want you to be happy, Emma. If that can't be with me, then I'll have to accept that. But please don't close your heart to the possibility of love because one foolish man made the biggest mistake of his life."
Emma felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Killian," she whispered.
He reached out to brush the tear away with his thumb. He expected her to move away from his touch, but instead she leaned into it for a moment.
He reluctantly dropped his hand. "Turn the letter over."
Emma flipped it over and found what appeared to be fresh writing in an adult's handwriting. She read the words aloud. "The tree lighting at Rockefeller Center is tomorrow night at 8. I will be there. I hope your heart leads you there too."
Emma looked up from the letter, but was surprised to find Killian gone. She looked back down, staring at the words until they became blurred with tears. Then she carefully folded the paper and placed it in her purse.
…
"What are you going to do?" Belle asked Emma after she finished recounting what had happened with Killian the night before.
Emma sighed. "I don't know, Belle. I want to forgive him. I want to give him a second chance, but I'm afraid to get hurt again."
Belle smiled gently at her best friend. "Emma, you spent years closing your heart to people and what did it get you? Look, I can't promise you that you won't get your heart broken again. But what I can promise you is that if you pass up this chance at happiness, then you will spend the rest of your life wondering what if. You will live with a lifetime of regret."
Emma slowly nodded. "You're right."
"I am?" Belle replied in surprise.
Emma took a deep breath and stood up. "I need to find Killian."
Belle glanced down at her watch. "Didn't you say his note said to meet him at Rockefeller Center at 8?"
"Yes. Why? What time is it now?"
Belle's eyes widened. "Emma, it's 7:50. You'll never make it in time."
Emma swallowed roughly. "I have to try."
She gave Belle a hug before heading toward the elevator.
"Good luck!" Belle called after her.
Emma hurried onto the elevator and groaned as she realized whoever had occupied it before her had pressed every button, which meant it would stop on every floor before reaching the lobby.
The elevator ride was interminable. Emma finally got off at the fifth floor and used the stairs to get down to the lobby. Once outside, she knew she would never make it on foot. She hailed a cab and was shocked when she flagged one down within minutes.
"Rockefeller Center," she said.
The cabbie shook his head. "It's a mob scene down there with the tree lighting. I won't be able to get you more than a couple of blocks away."
Emma sighed. "Fine, just get there as quickly as possible please."
Of course, there is no such thing in New York City. The traffic, as usual, was unbearable. He finally let Emma out two blocks from Rockefeller Center. She ran the rest of the way. Emma looked down at her watch. It was nearly 8:30.
Her heart sank as the tree came into view and she could see that it was already lit. The crowd was overwhelming. She could barely move as she tried to weave her way through and look for Killian. She finally reached the spot Killian had taken her to. The air left her lungs when she didn't see him anywhere in sight.
She felt tears spring to her eyes. He was gone. When he didn't find her there at 8, he must have thought she hadn't changed her mind and eventually left. She had missed her second chance with him.
A few moments passed, before Emma took a deep breath and blinked back her tears. It didn't have to be over, she thought. She could still find him.
…
This time, she decided to walk. She quickly made her way to Mr. Jones' building. Someone from the staff buzzed her up and let her into the penthouse. She was led into the library.
Mr. Jones came from around his desk to greet her. "Emma, what a pleasant surprise."
"I'm here to see Killian," she said.
His brow furrowed. "I'm afraid he isn't here."
Her heart sank again. "Do you know when he'll be back?"
Mr. Jones shook his head. "He won't be. He returned a short while ago, gathered his things and left without so much as a goodbye."
"Do you know where he went?" Emma asked, desperation suddenly filling her voice.
"He chose not to share that with me, but my guess is the airport. He has a habit of picking a random destination and jumping onto a plane on a whim."
Emma felt a tear slip down her cheek. It did not go unnoticed by her boss.
"You really care for him, don't you?" he asked softly.
Emma nodded. "Yes, I really do."
"Even though he lied to you? You're willing to give him a second chance?"
Emma stared at the man before her and then reached into her purse to remove the letter Killian had given to her.
She held it out to him. "I think you should see this."
Mr. Jones took it from her and read it. When he was done, he lifted his gaze to hers. "Where did you get this?"
"Killian gave it to me."
"That's impossible. I disposed of it when he was just a lad."
Emma nodded. "And he found it in your trash can. He saved it all of these years."
"But why?" he asked.
Emma licked at her lips anxiously. "It broke his heart finding his letter in the trash can. It made him stop believing in Santa. He carried it around as a reminder that wishes don't come true and that he shouldn't have hope."
Mr. Jones cheeks reddened. "I had no idea. I…I knew that he would never get what he wanted in that letter. My happiness died with my Helen."
Emma nodded. "And so did his, but he was just a little boy who had just lost his mother. He needed his father, but you weren't there for him. You didn't help him grieve. You grew further and further apart and he decided he wanted to be nothing like you."
"He told you all of this?" he asked.
"Yes," she said with a bob of her head. "He wanted me to understand why he didn't put down roots or build connections with anyone. But he said I made him want to change all of that."
Mr. Jones eyes widened. "He wanted to stay here in the city?"
Emma sighed. "He did. He wanted me to give him a second chance. He asked me to meet him at Rockefeller Center for the tree lighting tonight, but I got there too late. He was already gone."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Do you have any idea where he might be going?" Emma asked.
Mr. Jones shrugged. "I'm afraid I don't." He paused and then added. "He actually did say one thing to me before he left though."
"What did he say?" Emma asked.
Mr. Jones met her eyes. "He said he was going to try to be the man you believed him to be."
Emma nodded. "Okay. Thank you." Emma made her way to the door and then turned back around to face him. "He just wants you to be proud of him, you know," she said softly.
Mr. Jones stared at Emma for a long moment, before she turned on her heel and left.
...
Emma used the cab ride to the airport to search the major airlines on her phone. She guessed that he was going to go to one of the places that he had lied about visiting to actually do charity work. Her eyes landed on an American Airlines flight to the Dominican Republic that was leaving in 30 minutes. The cab pulled up to the airport and Emma jumped out. She needed to have a ticket in order to make it past security and get to the gate, so she got into line and bought a ticket. She hurried to security where she was forced to wait an eternity as time ticked away. Once past security, she made her way to gate 40, which, naturally, was all the way at the end.
Emma glanced at her watch as she finally made it to the gate. Her heart dropped into her stomach. The door was closed. It was too late. She felt tears sting her eyes as she moved to the window and watched the plane begin to pull away.
Emma leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window and squeezed her eyes closed. She had missed him again.
"You're late," she suddenly heard come from behind her.
Emma's eyes flew open. For a moment, she was sure she had imagined his voice. She was afraid to turn around only to be met with empty space.
Slowly, she forced herself to turn around and breathed a sigh of relief when she was met with his smiling face.
"You didn't get on the plane," she whispered.
Killian took a step toward her. "No, I didn't. I waited for you at the tree, Emma. When you didn't show, I assumed you didn't want to have anything further to do with me."
"I got there too late," she said.
Killian's face brightened. "So you did come."
Emma nodded. "I did."
Their gazes held for a long moment before she rushed toward him, cupping his face in her hands, and pressing a kiss to his lips. Killian was taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered, as he snaked his arms around her waist.
When they parted a moment later, he met her eyes. "I want to be worthy of you, Emma. I want to be the man you thought I was. I want to earn your trust back."
Emma smiled. "I'm just glad I didn't lose my second chance with you."
Killian's expression grew serious and he took a step back from her. "I didn't get on the plane because I didn't want to leave things like that between us, but I plan on booking another flight for tomorrow morning."
Emma's brow furrowed, as she felt her breath catch in her chest. "What? Why?"
"I need to do something with my life. I don't deserve you right now."
Emma swallowed hard. "You can do something right here in New York, Killian. You don't have to leave the country to do it. You don't have to leave me."
"Yes, I do," he said. "I've spent my entire adult life running from everyone and everything. Now I want to run to something. And I want to have a home and someone to return to."
Emma could see the determination in his eyes. She knew there was no changing his mind. As much as it was breaking her heart, she was proud of him.
"Do you have any idea how long you'll be gone?" she asked.
"I can't be sure," he said.
Emma sighed heavily, as she wiped at a tear on her cheek. "Okay, but can you at least buy a cell phone so we can keep in touch?"
Killian smiled and pulled one out of his pocket. "Way ahead of you, love."
Emma pressed a kiss to his lips and then whispered, "I'm going to miss you."
"I'm going to miss you, too," he said.
He wrapped his arms around her, as she placed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.
...
End of Part 5
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! ~Steph