Well, to all my nonexistent readers, I don't own a THING except maybe Maggie, and maybe not even her, so don't sue me, okay?

Padma sighed irritatedly. "Did you really have to be so DRAMATIC?"

Zabini smirked. "Drama is my forte."

"Trust me, I know." She shuddered. "But really-you made SUCH a scene at that dance! Do you REALLY think it was necessary to be so...."

"Over the top?"

"Well, yes. That works just fine."

"Yes."

Padma blinked. "Yes?"

"Yes, it was necessary."

"WHY, pray tell?I'd prefer to keep the details of my personal life OUT of the Hogwarts gossip chain."

Zabini just smirked in that exasperating way of his again. "Would you tell your sister?"

"Yes..."

"And would she tell Lavender?"

"Yes."

"And would Lavender tell the entire school?"

Padma narrowed her eyes at him. "Just. Shut. Up."

He leaned back in his chair. "You know, Padma, I AM your boyfriend. I'd think you'd be acting a tad more politely to me, but..."

"I can't help it if you provoke me!" Padma replied heatedly.

"Look, all I wanted was a straight answer." Blaise said, trying to imitate a stern teacher and failing.

"I-" Padma began, and then stopped. "Would you look at them? It's sickening."

"What is?" Zabini asked cluelessly, then followed her gaze. "Oh. That. Yes, yes it is."

"They're worse than Ron and Lavender were last year!" Padma snorted. "Well, not quite. They do more public snogging, but at least they don't have pet names for each other. And Neville doesn't QUITE look like he's eating Luna's face."

"Still." Zabini said in a mock sober voice. "This is a LIBRARY. They should have more respect for those of us who are trying to study!"

"We're studying?" Padma said, confused.

"Well, we're looking up defensive spells for you-know-what." Zabini amended.

"Oh! It didn't much look like that."

"Well, I found them all and now I'm just talking to you and snogging you whenever Madame Pince isn't looking."

Padma snickered. "Yeah, good point! How come she hasn't got them yet? They've been at it for ten minutes at LEAST, and normally she would have kicked them out long ago."

"She approves of their relationship." Zabini said as if that explained everything. Which it did. "She likes playing matchmaker between the students. Remember in fourth year, when she tried to get Hermione Granger together with Dennis Creevey, but Krum kept getting mad at the little firsty?"

"THAT'S what was going on? I thought Krum just had serious anger management issues. Beating up some poor eleven year old..." Padma said incredulously. "Did she not realize the age difference or something? You'd think she'd pick up on it, he's so tremendously short..."

"So is she." Zabini pointed out.

"Yes, but not THAT short! I swear, I doubt he's even five feet tall nowadays. Back then? I'd wager ten galleons that he was under four feet six." Padma said dismissively. "And the idea of Madame Pince playing matchmaker is..."

"Revolting?" he suggested.

"Yes. Hey, have rumors about her and Filch ever been confirmed?"

Zabini's eye twitched. "Not formally, but I can say that once I walked in on the two of them having a, ah, PRIVATE rendezvous in the trophy room. Not a sight I relish having permanently imprinted upon my retinas."

"Her...And FILCH? Really?" Padma looked nauseous. "I thought it was just Harry being stupid...OH! I wonder if he saw something!"

"I feel bad for Potter if so." Zabini looked even more queasy than his girlfriend. "Oh, that sight...I can't look at Filch again without wanting to retch..."

"Merlin! Remind me to not ASK these dreadful questions anymore!" Padma said. "Look, let's get out of here...I see Madame Pince herself coming our way and I can't face her right now without being sick..."

"Me neither!" Blaise agreed. "Here, let me copy down these curses....ok, got em. Shall we go?"

"Of course." Padma said. The two exited the library with one last glance at Luna and Neville. "Did they even come up for air?" she asked skeptically.

"I don't believe so." Zabini said. "Here-shall we see if we can break their record?"

And with that, they endeavored to do so right in the middle of a staircase and were still there when Luna and Neville came by a bit later.

"They're worse than Ron and Lavender were last year!" Neville marveled.

"Well, to be fair, they haven't given each other stupid nicknames. Still....did they even come up for air?" Luna asked.

"No. I don't think so." Neville said. "Hey! Zabini!" He tapped his newfound Slytherin ally on the shoulder. "Do you have the curses I asked for?"

"Right here." the darkhaired boy replied, after removing his face from Padma's. He pulled the folded parchment out of his pocket and thrust it at Neville. "Now...if you don't mind?"

"No, please continue." Neville said with a mock bow, and together they left. "Don't be late for the DA meeting tonight!" he called back.

"Don't worry!" Padma said breathlessly. "We won't!"