So all the chapters of this story have been re-edited – all grammar and spelling should be correct - conversations have been slightly altered. Nothing too drastic has changed – it just flows better in certain parts. But other than that…

Yeah… I think I'm just going to go hide in the corner until you've all read the chapter, and are thus much happier with me… Yeah…

"Gai?"

"Yes, my Eternal Rival!"

"You're 100 percent sure that this is what the Hokage's mission for us was?"

Gai turned and flashed Kakashi his million watt smile, temporarily blinding the other jounin. "OF COURSE, FAIR RIVAL! THIS IS CLEARLY WHAT WAS INDICATED IN THE NOTE THAT OUR CHARMING AND BRILLIANT HOKAGE LEFT FOR US ON HER DESK! WE MUST COMPLETE THIS MISSION IN A TIMELY FASHION SO AS NOT TO DISAPPOINT THE HOKAGE!"

Kakashi calmly twisted his pinky around inside his ear canal, making sure it was still functioning before pulling out the supposed "mission" and squinting at it once more. "I've never been assigned a mission straight from the Hokage through a note left on her desk…"

Gai laughed a little too loudly. "WELL, YOU KNOW OUR NEW HOKAGE! ALWAYS OUT DRINKING AND GAMBLING AND ENJOYING THE SPRINGTIME OF HER YOUTH, LIKE A WISE AND YOUTHFUL LEADER SHOULD TO SET AN EXAMPLE TO HER OTHER – "

"Youthful and blah blah blah followers… yes, Gai, I get it." Kakashi sighed. This mission was ridiculous. Circle around the borders of Hidden Leaf and make sure the perimeter was secure? Wasn't that the job of the security guards placed at each entrance? And Gai was acting awfully strange about the whole ordeal. Kakashi waved the torn piece of paper that was the very informal mission in Gai's general direction, displaying suspicion with his one exposed eye. "This actually looks a lot like your handwriting…" he drawled.

Gai snatched the piece of paper away and pretended to study it quizzically. "Oh… no… THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THE FAIR AND BEAUTIFUL HANDWRITING OF OUR ONE AND ONLY FAIR AND BEAUTIFUL HOKAGE!"

"Really? Because, as I was looking at it, it just seemed to sparkle like your handwriting does."

Gai's eyes grew wide and he stared intently at the piece of paper in front of him. "You think my handwriting sparkles?" Kakashi glared daggers at him and Gai quickly caught it out of the corner of his shining eyes and straightened up immediately. "I mean, if we had an example of my handwriting here with us, I would LOVE to see what you're talking about… but alas, we do not."

"Great idea, Gai!" Kakashi praised, eye curving happily – much too happily and mischievously. "Why don't you take out a scroll and write something down so we can compare the two pieces of writing?"

"Kakashi… I really don't think that is necessary! After all, I told you this is the handwriting of – "

"The Hokage – yes, I heard you quite well the first time."

"SURELY, YOU DO NOT BELIEVE THAT I WOULD LIE TO YOU, MY – "

"No, Gai!" Kakashi smiled brightly again. "Of course not. I was simply suggesting that we see right here and now how much your handwriting sparkles compared to somebody else's. After all… you seemed so very interested in it."

"OUR MISSION – "

"Is going along quite smoothly – we have time."

"BUT KAKASHI – "

"Take out a piece of paper." Kakashi's clipped tone and stone-cold gaze left no room for argument, and Gai reluctantly pulled a spare scroll from his pocket,

"I have nothing – "

A pen magically materialized in front of his nose, Kakashi's palm holding it deadly steady. Gai attempted a bright smile at the gesture, but it wasn't as shiny and dazzling as it normally would have been. "Why don't you just copy our… mission, so we can compare without bias of what's written on each?" Kakashi held out the mission paper and Gai slowly reached for it. Just as his hand closed on it and Kakashi let go, an idea sprang to Gai's mind and, in a split second, he loosened his grip so the paper escaped his hand.

"OH NO! THE WIND CAUGHT IT!" he cried dramatically, looking horror-struck.

Kakashi glanced down at his open toes that were now being covered with the limp piece of paper, then slowly looked back up at Gai who had not yet removed the comic expression of terror from his face. "Gai… there's no wind around here…"

Gai blinked and also gazed down at the paper, sitting innocently with no signs of being blown away any time soon. He met Kakashi's even stare, blinked again, then threw his arms out in exaggerated jubilation. "WELL, THANK THE GODS FOR THAT!"

He reached down to retrieve the paper, and in the quick moment that he was extending his arm, his eyes caught sight of a tiny batch of mud not far from Kakashi's foot. He grabbed the paper, then pitched himself forward, feigning unbalance. With a loud, dramatic cry of anguish, he fell to the side, successfully squishing the paper into the mud with his body weight.

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"OH NO! THE HANDWRITING IS RUINED! WE SHALL NEVER BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH A PROPER COMPARISON NOW!"

"We could always just wipe – "

"Nope! Wouldn't have the same effect! We shall never know now!" And with those final clipped words, Gai rolled the mud-soaked paper into a ball and squished it into his vest pocket.

Kakashi stared him down. "For a taijutsu master, you are unusually clumsy today."

"IT MUST BE THE HEAT! WANDERING AROUND OUT HERE ALL DAY – "

"GAI!" The green-clad jounin paused. "Why are we out here?"

The copy-nin wasn't joking now, and Gai knew it was time to 'fess up – well, as much as he could. "What are your intentions with Iruka?"

Kakashi blinked. Iruka? Why the hell was Gai asking about Iruka? He couldn't – no, he couldn't possibly be contemplating – the other jounin and Iruka? No… no… Genma was already problem enough. The reason Gai was at Iruka's window… no, it just wasn't possible! "Why do you ask?"

"I'm… concerned…"

Kakashi's anger almost completely dissipated. "About what?"

"Kakashi… do you plan on pursuing Iruka-sensei?"

Gai looked so serious at this point that Kakashi was almost afraid of giving the wrong answer. "Well, to be perfectly honest with you Gai… yes, I plan to… pursue him."

"I just… want you to be careful…"

Kakashi's eye twitched a little before he started chuckling. "Gai, what is this all about? Iruka's not like a sexual deviant or anything that'll take advantage of me. You should be telling him to be careful of me."

"Why Iruka?" Gai asked, ignoring the copy ninja's comment. "Why do you like him so much?"

Kakashi sighed through his nose and ran a hand through his unruly silver hair. "Gai…"

"Please, my friend… be honest with me."

Kakashi's eye widened almost laughably. He had heard Gai call him possibly hundreds of things from 'Eternal Rival' to 'Hip and Cool Rival' to 'The Eternally Hip and Cool Kakashi-sensei' but never had Gai actually come right out and called him a friend. "Wow… you are being serious."

Gai nodded, trying to fight the non-serious urge to wipe the disgusting mud off his beautiful, shiny spandex.

"Alright… have a seat." Kakashi plopped down on a nearby log, and motioned for Gai to sit next to him.

Iruka sat on his bed, stock-still, blank eyes staring out the window. Had he been any more out of touch with his surroundings, a line of drool probably would have been seeping out of the corner of his mouth. But, despite his outward appearance of looking like a special-needs zombie, the chuunin was actually having some pretty serious thoughts running through his overcrowded mind that morning.

He almost wished that it wasn't the weekend so that classes could distract him at least a little bit… even though yesterday had been the teacher's day from hell inside his classroom, right now, he just wanted something to do besides his horrid mission from that horrid woman who horridly called herself the Hokage.

'I shouldn't be thinking such things about our Hokage… she's not mean – well… she's not evil at least – actually… ah, screw it… she'll never know what I'm thinking – unless she has some jutsu that can read my mind! Wouldn't put it past her… evil little – I mean, beautiful, powerful… this is ridiculous…'

Iruka sighed, and his eyes drooped even more. 'Why was Kakashi here last night? Why was his mere presence getting me so riled up? I wonder what important mission he had to be called away to in the middle of the night like that… I hope he's okay – what am I thinking? He'll be fine! He's Kakashi – the infamous copy-nin! But that doesn't make him invincible… Stop it, Iruka! He'll be just fine – and even if he isn't, it's not any of your concern. It's not like you guys are friends or anything, and shinobi die every day in service of their village.'

'Admittedly, it would be a great loss to the village to lose someone of Kakashi's rank, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. There are other skilled jounin to take on his missions. AH! I'm horrible! I shouldn't think of a person that way! Even if it is Kakashi. He's not just a throw-away tool that nobody will care about when he's gone. He's a human being. Though he probably doesn't get treated that way very often… I wonder if there even would be many people that would care about him when he's gone… and not just missing him for his skills but missing him as a person…'

'Gods, I'm just like all those other people that started thinking about him as nothing but a killing-machine for the village to use and do away with once he's served his purpose. But I don't treat him that way, do I? No… just last night, I told him to be careful when he had to leave. That shows some sort of compassion, doesn't it? He kinda looked surprised. I wonder if anyone has wished him well like that before he left for a mission.'

'Kinda sad when you really think about it. Maybe I've been too harsh on him lately. I mean… he has tried talking to me recently – I thought he was just being annoying because he likes to make me mad… what if he was really just trying to be my friend? I mean, he was going about it kind of strangely, but he is a strange guy…'

'No… he couldn't have been. You don't try to make friends with someone and then try to screw them at a moment's notice! Maybe that's what he's been doing! He was just trying to get into my good graces to get into my pants… probably thought I'd be easy prey since I'm just a lowly chuunin schoolteacher! Jerk!'

'But it's not like he's jumped me every opportunity he got… even last night – he seemed almost… apologetic and shy… but then, was he threatening me? Was it all just a mind game? Is this all just a mind game? Is Kakashi co-conspiring with the Hokage to torture me to insanity? Why am I letting this take over my thoughts? Why can't I stop thinking about him? WHY DO I CARE IF HE'S CAREFUL ON HIS MISSION OR NOT?'

With a disgruntled cry, Iruka finally emerged from his half-awake coma, and flopped back down on his bed.

If Naruto was listening at all, he gave absolutely no indication. In fact, it was the first time Sasuke had ever witnessed the boy being completely still and not fidgeting around or making weird whiny noises. It was almost as if Naruto was acting like a real ninja…

Until he thought Sasuke's back was turned and stuck his tongue out at him.

The last Uchiha spun and glared daggers at his orange-clad companion who had quickly gone back to being completely still and seemingly innocent. "I saw that…" he growled.

Naruto's eyebrows merely peaked in a disturbing imitation of Sasuke's own half-amused, half-quizzical, not-actually-giving-anything-away look. The other boy's eyes twitched. Since when was Naruto able to pull off his unofficially patented looks?

"Listen, moron… you may think you're being cute… but let me make one thing perfectly clear…"

Naruto's mouth quirked to the side to match the eyebrows.

"If you ever kiss me again, I will make sure that my kunai coming towards your face is the last thing you ever see!"

Iruka was feeling slightly better out in the fresh, open air. The bright, sunny day with the calming blue skies nearly made him forget exactly why he was supposed to be upset in the first place. Nearly…

He shouldn't have to worry about running into Kakashi since he should still be out on his important mission, or Genma who had mission desk duties this afternoon. Raidou wouldn't be too much of an embarrassment to cross paths with, and the evil 'Ahem, I mean beautiful' Hokage would either be in her office "doing work", or skulking somewhere with a hangover, trying to avoid Shizune. Whichever way she went today, at least she would be too preoccupied to bug Iruka about his mission.

The chuunin took a deep breath and tried to exhale all his tension. Maybe he should simply enjoy his day off without worrying about that mission at all. Tsunade had said there was no time limit, and he had gotten more than a head-start on it yesterday.

That had to be it. This mission wasn't meant to be completed quickly. Squeezing too much in at once was leading to severe problems. The whole point of this was to be stealthy and not let anyone catch on to what he was doing. Iruka nodded determinedly to himself. Yes, he was definitely giving himself the day off from dealing with it – maybe even a week or two – let things calm down a bit before he made his next move.

Just as that resolute thought crossed his mind, Iruka was almost sent crashing to the ground by a white blur.

Correction: He was sent crashing to the ground by said blur. Right outside the bookshop. He grumbled something unintelligible, but probably not meant for younger ears, under his breath and the blur skidded to a halt, glancing back at him.

"Oh, sorry… you alright there?"

A hand appeared in front of his face and Iruka begrudgingly took hold of it, trying to control his newly restored temper. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you – ah!" As the brunette was hoisted to his feet by the strong hand, his chocolate eyes locked in awe on the sannin who was standing in very close proximity by this point. "Master Jiraiya…" he murmured without thinking.

Truth be told, although Iruka had processed the fact that Jiraiya was on his mission list, he had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Kakashi, that it hadn't really clicked who exactly Jiraiya was. Actually, Iruka had never even met Jiraiya – he knew who he was and what he looked like, certainly. But someone of his rank had never had the honor of coming face-to-face with him until that moment.

He…

Had very poofy hair…

Iruka blinked and shook himself back to reality as he realized that Jiraiya had asked his name. "Uh… Iruka… sensei," he quickly added out of habit.

Jiraiya smirked. "Well, Iruka-sensei. You here for the signing?"

"Huh?" The chuunin was still in a bit of daze and the words didn't make any sense to him.

But the sannin continued as though he were having a conversation with himself. "You're a little bit early. I have to run back and get my lucky pen."

Iruka nodded dumbly, still trying to figure the situation out.

"But hey! You don't even have a book yet! Here – allow me – as an apology." The larger man pulled something out of his pocket and shoved it into Iruka's hands. "There you go – don't go away now – I'll be back soon!" And the white blur took off again.

The brunette glanced down at his full hands and let the object there sink into his slow brain. He was holding a book… a little orange book… a little orange book that had been given to him by Jiraiya…

…

"WH-WHAT!" The blush spread rapidly across the chuunin's face. "Ichaicha Nights?" He lowered his voice to a harsh whisper so as not to attract attention to his current predicament. His head swept back and forth swiftly, trying to figure out what exactly to do next. His eyes fell on the sign just outside the bookstore; he hadn't really been paying much attention before: NEW Special Edition Ichaicha Nights Release – Book Signing By The Author TODAY ONLY. Iruka could still feel the blush taking over his entire face as he clutched the book to his chest, hoping to hide it from passing eyes.

Why would Jiraiya give him something like that? Didn't everyone in the village know how prim and proper he was, and that he never read such books (unlike other silver-haired jounin he could mention)? This was a mistake. He should just give Jiraiya the book back, apologize for the misunderstanding, and be on his way.

Iruka sighed and leaned back against the bookstore window, waiting for the sannin to return. His little rest, however, was jolted when two boisterous jounin, who he had seen a few times in the missions room, bounced past him into the store, waving their own editions of Ichaicha Nights excitedly.

Iruka glared after them disapprovingly. Kakashi may read his books in public, but at least he didn't go waving them around, yapping about them for all the world to hear what a pervert he was. 'And we're done thinking about Kakashi!' the chuunin scolded himself mentally. 'The only reason I got mixed up with him in the first place was because of that stupid, secret mission.' The mission!

Iruka glanced down at the little orange book and to the sign advertising the perfect opportunity to him. His face became the image of exhausted frustration. This wasn't fair! He was supposed to be taking a well-deserved break from the Terrible Mission From Hell! But… when was he ever going to be within reasonable distance of the legendary Jiraiya again? And with such a perfect excuse?

"Life isn't fair… it just isn't fair…" Iruka mumbled to the ground, almost sounding like he was trying not to cry. But he straightened up momentarily and got ready to put on the show of his life.

"Can we go back now?" Kakashi was trying not to whine; truly he was. He was an elite jounin after all, and elite jounin did not do such unsightly things as whine. But he was tired, and hot, and dammit all, he was sick of having girly (his companion liked to call them manly, but he knew better) conversations with Gai out in the middle of the forest. Especially since he had no real reason to be there.

"But Kakashi - !"

"Besides, aren't we gonna kind of get in trouble for leaving on a mission that… doesn't exist?"

"Whatever do you - ?"

"Gai, cut the crap. I know you wrote that mission. Let's be big boys now and stop playing pretend."

Gai turned away, looking as abashed as was possible for someone with his demeanor. "We won't get in trouble – we're still technically inside the borders and the ANBU can track us down if we're really needed for a real mission. Kakashi..."

The copy nin arched his one visible eyebrow.

"Thank you for sharing such emotional and youthful thoughts with me, my friend!" The manly tears began flowing.

"Yeah, enough with the 'friend' stuff, Gai."

Gai snapped out of his manly moment and tried to look solemn. "As you wish. But the feelings remain full-force."

Kakashi sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Fine… but you didn't answer my first question."

Gai blinked.

"Can we go now!?"

Iruka shifted his weight to one hip, letting it jut out in an attempt to look slightly more appealing as he waited in line. Unfortunately, he ended up looking just a little too appealing to the other patrons waiting in line next to him, as many shifted their leering gazes in his direction – all but Jiraiya who was too busy soaking up all the attention he could get from his current fan. Iruka quickly stood up straight and stared at the ground, trying to ignore the appreciative glances; many from women, but a lot from men as well. 'I hate being so damn feminine! Why didn't I wear my uniform today? It makes me look more masculine.'

As he slowly made his way up the line, Iruka started to fidget and grow nervous. The plan was in his mind, but it was starting to hit him that he would be executing it in front of quite a few other people. It wouldn't be like yesterday in the woods with Kakashi… when they were all alone and Iruka was free to act as he wanted – 'Bad Iruka! Stop it!'

At any rate, his turn was coming up quick – so it was now or never.

The schoolteacher threw back his ponytail, stood up in a confident matter and gave his most flirtatious smile to the sannin who had just waved off the person in front of Iruka. The white-haired man gave a charming smile when he saw the other shinobi. "Hey-hey! If it isn't Rukio!"

"Iruka." The chuunin's face fell.

"Right! Right! Iruka-sensei!" He gave out a bellowing laugh. "Well, how's that book treatin' ya?"

"Uh…" Iruka twirled the unopened book in his hands, not quite sure how to respond to that sort of question. This wasn't really going the way he had pictured it. 'That's cuz you're not doing anything, dummy! Speak up! Flirt, damn you! Flirt!' "Oh, well, you know…" He trailed out and hung his head a bit, trying to look sexily contemplative. Jiraiya held out his hand for the book, and Iruka handed it over. "I've always been a big fan of yours… and I was so excited when Ichaicha Nights came out. Ichaicha… uh…" 'Blast it! What's the name of that stupid book Kakashi always has up to his face?' "Paradise! Ahem…" Jiraiya blinked but put his head back down from where it had snapped up to look at the outbursting chuunin. "Yeah… Ichaicha Paradise has always been my favorite."

"Hmm…" Jiraiya nodded and smiled but didn't return his gaze to the other man.

The chuunin's features drooped. "Yeah… uh… you know… my most favorite part that you've ever written – " Iruka perched his hip on the table right in front of the sannin. "- is… uh… chapter 4 of Ichaicha Paradise."

Jiraiya glanced up thoughtfully, but didn't seem to notice Iruka's provocative position. "I'm sorry – it's been so long since I wrote that one, I'm not 100 percent positive which part you're talking about."

Iruka bit his lip and floundered for a second. He had never read the stupid books! "You know what! It doesn't really matter!" He smiled brightly and drummed his hands on the table playfully. "The point is… I was kinda hoping that maybe you could… you know, give me a more in-depth look at your writing process… maybe what… gets you going…"

He cringed inwardly as a few people behind him quirked their eyebrows when they overheard his suggestive comment. But it was too late to take it back now, so he waited for Jiraiya's response with short breath.

The older man blinked at Iruka a second, then cocked his head to the side. "You want to come with me to the hotsprings?"

Iruka's face completely fell and he slid off the table-top in shock. "Wha – uh… um…"

Jiraiya chuckled and handed the book back. "Well, alright, kid! Just don't get in my way, ok? Research time is quiet time… for numerous reasons. See ya later." He waved up the next person. And Iruka stumbled away from the table, clutching his book awkwardly, wondering what the hell had just happened.

"Naruto… Shut. Up."

The blonde shinobi in question stifled a giggle.

Sakura shot them both inquisitive glances but didn't say anything for fear of turning Sasuke's wrath against her. The Uchiha's eyebrow twitched. Naruto continued shaking with silent laughter.

Sasuke growled.

"So where's Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura piped up, hoping that that at least was a safe topic at the present moment.

Naruto stopped his inane laughing for a second to look pissed off at the mention of the sensei who had so rudely knocked him out the night before. "Late! As usual!"

"So… apparently that whole 'switching-bodies' thing… not true, huh?" She tried to sound nonchalant so as not to set either of the boys off, but it seemed to be getting difficult to say anything around those two – they were in such weird moods that afternoon.

Naruto huffed and spun away. "Something weird is going on with those two!"

"Would you just leave it alone!" Sasuke snapped, glaring down his shorter companion.

Naruto smirked. "You're just mad cuz – "

"Sakura, would you mind going to try to find Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke interrupted a little more loudly than necessary. "He is later than normal – we should make sure nothing's happened to him. You're more connected around the village – go check it out."

Sakura looked back and forth between her two teammates, slightly confused, but she nodded the affirmative and took off.

Naruto didn't even bother to watch her leave. He was too busy still smirking widely at Sasuke.

Sasuke waited until the kunoichi was well out of ear shot before hissing to the blonde. "You are sick!"

"Me!" the other boy exclaimed innocently. "You're the one who said it!" Sasuke seethed, but Naruto continued. "'My kunai right at your face'." He burst out laughing again. "You are so dirty!"

Iruka brushed himself off, top to bottom. Something had gone wrong – terribly wrong. There was no way that a guy who was so into porn that he wrote his own was completely straight. Unless he wrote all lesbian eroticism, he had to have some sort of interest in male anatomy.

And Iruka could damn well pull this off if he had to.

And Kakashi happily strolled back into the village of Hidden Leaf, ready to get back to more important matters.

Yeah, so there should be lots to say here after such a long break between chapters… sorry about that. But I'm back in the writing groove – promise! More Jiraiya and KakaIru next chapter – fun! Longer author notes will come next chapter – I just really want to get this up NOW.

As always, if you enjoyed the story, please review!

DixieGoddess