It had been rough going for everyone on Johan's team. Work was in very very limited supply and just making enough cash to replace their trashed eqiupment had been a practical and figurative hell for them. But their efforts had finally paid off after a month of hard labor. They had managed to raise a little over $15,000 with some help from a funds drive Johan put forth as well as various team members putting their heads together. Today Johan would gather the team to show off his/their new equipment for the rest of the season and beyond finally.
"So most of you are probably wondering why I have you all here at 9pm at night like this, Well earlier today I went to cash all of the funds we rasied at the local bank and it turns out we exceeded our goal by almost $5,000. Anyways I went out this evening and finally replaced all of our damaged eqiupment with top of the line stuff, I've brought you all here to check it all out." Johan explained to his gathered teammates gleefully. Their hellishly hard work this past month had paid off and he couldn't wait to show off the new goods.
"So here we are everyone" he said as he dropped the curtain which behind hid the new stuff. "This was all custom built to my exact specifications by a master crafter. Unlike our previous rig this is made from a mixture of steel and the finest and most dense hardwoods available for assured durability. My previous sled was a beginners rig and was mass produced with low grade materials. This one would crush it in comparsion. In terms of durabilty they showed me a demostration of someone putting one of these through its paces and I have to say we're gonna have this one for a good long while" he paused and moved to the next and most important part of the rig.
"And these are also new. They are made of genuine leather and are pre weathered and stretched for extra strength. I also had them padded with wool for the long hauls so you guys would not have to pull as hard like we did last outing and wind up crashing again. The guidelines are steel cable coated with a strong resin material that will not break without incredible tension being placed on them. So we will not have to worry about them breaking mid race on trail again unless some huge accident happens to do so which is highly unlikely. I wanted to assure we don't have another tragedy and your safety was my top priority here when picking out the materials and rigs for us all this time. So what do you guys think of it?" he added waiting for their replies.
Solaris however looked like his head was in the clouds and that he was just no longer interested the sport or anything to with it. The incident was still fresh in his mind from a few months ago and it was clear to due to his blank impassive expression he now bore sitting there. This all seemed so meaningless without his beloved brother Kallisto there to take in with him. Normally he'd be all over this stuff asking questions and admiring it all.
But instead here he sat in this colossal void that he was consumed by. It was so painfully obvious that he still was taking it really hard and all this talk about racing was both worthless and painful for him to take in. Especially seeing how passionate the rest of his team still was about the sport. Here they all were overjoyed to be back at work and here he was still brooding in his sorrow and regret over something that he could not ever take back. No matter how hard he tried the images of that night just would not stop haunting his mind and very soul.
"Guys I just can't see the point in this anymore. Ever since the accident I have not been able to even bear the slightest thought of continuing in this dangerous and unforgiving sport. I know I sound so painfully cynical and careless about everyone else's feelings in this moment but how and why should I. This is still breaking me down deep inside and I feel like we're still trying to get back into this too soon. I hate to do this but I must respectfully take my leave from this team for now until I get the state of my mind straightened out. I dont want to burden you guys by trying to jump back into the fire too soon. I need time to recover and try to get these gruesome images to stop torturing me. I think its for the best interest of us all that I do this so we can avoid another huge accident and tragedy happening" Solaris offered somewhat dejectedly.
He still loved this sport and his team but at the same time he felt like jumping back in would have only held everyone back and made their return a burden and not worth their time. They had worked too hard to have someone not readfy to go yet holding them all back like he would be. So it was decided he needed to go on a slight more of a break to recover his mind and strengthen his physique and mental state before he returned. There was no negotation on this matter. He would explain why he was doing this more to anyone that cared but his decision was final this time for now
His team on the other hand was very taken aback his statement and they all just turned and stared at him with a look of incredible confusion and frustration. Eventhough for them all this was not in the slightest bit surprising that he would choose to do this it honestly still didn't make the really difficult position he had just put them all in any easier to find a way out of.
"I'm just going to go home for now guys. I really don't want to talk about this right now. I hate doing this but it's our own good that I do this now. I'm sorry. I really am. I'll see you all tomorrow or if not sometime soon" Solaris said after a moment or two of awnkward silence.
And as he finished those words he promptly got up and walked out of the shed. It was difficult seeing his team so let down and disappointed with him but their safety was all too important and in his current state of mind he'd be nothing but a reckless endangerment to their long term well being and a huge liabilty for Johan should something else bad happen. He had already cost the poor guy thousands of dollars and a friend to start with. 'They'll all understand, I know Johan, he's probably already got a backup plan in place, he wouldn't fail us that badly' he thought as he walked home alone under a clear and cold night sky lost in his own thoughts.
Meanwhile his team needed a new leader as he had effectively resigned from the position...They had no idea what they were going to do without his leadership and guidance. "I dont know what to do now honestly guys unless one of you wants to take over the position and has the experience, I know at least Balto and Kodi here have the experience for it but I'm not sure if either one has the time to put in for it right now" Johan said to his team somewhat dejectedly.
"I'll do it boss, It won't be the first time" Balto spoke up "I don't have two championships for just any particular reason" he reminded everyone "It won't be as easy because I'm not getting any younger but you know me, I quite like challenges" he added.
After a brief moment of thought he spoke back up "Let me talk to Solaris though, I really haven't given him the time of day since the accident because I've been hammered down trying to make money to get us back on the trail. If anyone here can talk some sense into him I can. This is a very personal and tender issue and just needs some support and reassurance that we'll all be just fine, I saw the look he gave us as he walked away. I know that look better than anyone. That was me as an outcast and he probably feels like a massive failure and like he has let us all down with you all know as well as I do that's not true and he just needs us more now than ever. I got this covered. I promise I won't fail you guys too." he said.
"Well I guess you guys can all head home for tonight and we can dicuss a backup plan tomorrow everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow and Balto I'll take your word up on that. I'm sure you're probably right, you are his brother afterall so if anyone could fix this you could. Anyways see you all tomorrow gang" Johan said as he walked out to return home.
He couldn't help feeling like he put Solaris on display in there earlier and this really bothered him badly. He hoped his brother could help him now. It was the poor guy's only hope of ever racing with them again. and he knew that and it was killing him that this was all his fault. If only he hadn't pushed them all so hard this all would have never happened and all would be well in their worlds right now because Kallisto wouldn't be gone so soon and his team shattered like they are right now. Tomorrow would surely make or break them. He prayed all would go well tomorrow. But for now only time would tell...