Waking up

Note: Takes place after TG root A ending

Hide bit his lip, "let's just go home" Hide whispered back as he returned Kaneki's tight hold. "But we can only leave after we pay and get your papers. Don't want them following us for debt!" Hide hums.

Kaneki ignored Hide.

"Dude, you got to release me, I don't want to do a crab shuffle down the stairs; we want to get out of the hospital, not stuck in it for falling down the stairs!"

/

Kaneki was stuck. Not in the LITERAL use but more in the FIGURITIVE use. He was in the past when he first became a ghoul. Sure he would've liked if he was back in his human body instead –because becoming a ghoul really sucked and no one will make or convince Kaneki that it didn't- but beggars can't be choosers.

The only reason why Kaneki wasn't going crazy was purely because of his want of 'being a better person' for Hide.

Hide was alive and that's all that really mattered to Kaneki. But that didn't stop this whole thing from becoming another tragedy. Hide was alive, that was a positive but Kaneki was a half-ghoul and that was a negative.

Not that Kaneki was worried about being accepted. No, he already knew that Hide would rather choose to die if it meant securing Kaneki's happiness and safety. Kaneki didn't like that of course but that wasn't the problem to address. The problem was that Kaneki had traveled back in time to the era before Hide knew about Kaneki becoming a ghoul.

Which meant that Hide didn't know about Kaneki becoming a ghoul yet.

To make matters worse, Kaneki and Hide decided to live together. At the time, Kaneki agreed with the decision. He still does but he wished he thought more about the plan. Meaning that either Kaneki found a way to tell Hide or Hide found out after forcing human meals down Kaneki's throat in an attempt to help.

Add to the fact that Kaneki was just released from the hospital so he couldn't "know" that he was a ghoul right away. It would be suspicious if Kaneki went with that route; Hide would be able to tell something was off.

Blame all the cliché time travel movies Hide was obsessed with in middle school, but Kaneki didn't know that if he followed the 'just tell Hide immediately' plan if it would lead to Kaneki spilling all sorts of future information. Not that Hide would had been unable to find out by himself –Kaneki knows for a fact that there are few people with instincts and minds like Hide- but Kaneki would rather dodge any potential danger to Hide than tell the blond.

So when Hide came through the apartment's entryway bearing 'gifts', Kaneki sat frozen from where he was in front of the TV.

"Honey! I'm home!" Hide mockingly cheered and Kaneki couldn't even find the energy to be embarrassed.

Of all the times for Hide to walk through the door, Hide had to choose now. Kaneki hadn't even come up with a valuable excuse not to eat the food, or to think of when to explain his situation to Hide.

So Kaneki did the only option left: he distracted Hide. "What are you going to do about your stuff, again?" Kaneki asked immediately as Hide entered the living room.

"I already told you my plan to sell what can't fit," Hide gently placed the big filled with 'Big Girl' burgers on the table in front of the TV.

Kaneki smiled. "You cancelled the contract? How much money did it cost to nullify the contract?"

"Nope, no money cost. My lease was coming up for renewal this month," Hide confessed with a bright smile as he rested his hands on his hips. "I decided against renewal since you agreed to me renting with you."

Kaneki sighed in relief, "mine's coming up for renewal this month too."

"Dude-"

Kaneki cut off Hide, "let's get a different apartment together." He gave Hide a small grin before turning to face his bookshelf, "there's not much room for more furniture in this apartment."

Hide cocked his head to the side as he closed his eyes. "Solid point," Hide smirked as he opened his eyes, "then let's do it! Any ideas for the new apartment? We can split the rent 50-50 but the building should still be close to campus."

"Just what I was thinking," Kaneki laughed slightly as Hide dramatically sat next to him.

Hide grinned as he hummed slightly, arms spread wide as they rested on the back of the couch. "So what kind of apartment are we talking about? It can't be a studio, so will it be a one bedroom, two bedroom?"

"One Bedroom," Kaneki replied as he leaned back against the couch, "I was thinking about us sharing a bedroom and everything else in the living room, like what we discussed at the hospital."

Hide nodded his head as he shifted in his seat.

When was the last time that Kaneki sat this close to the blond without worrying about Hide being a human and Kaneki being a ghoul? Kaneki really missed these carefree moments.

"No living room is big enough to hold your books and mine, Kaneki." Hide chuckled as he gestured to a neatly stacked bookshelf with equally neat piles of books on the floor.

Kaneki smiled at the books. In the original time line, his books –and the books given to him by his father and mother- were probably sold if Hide didn't have them. But if Hide did have them he must have sold his own books to make room for Kaneki's. It was something that Kaneki never really focused on but now that he did, Kaneki never wanted Hide to give up anything for Kaneki's happiness.

"I guess I'll have to sell mine." At Kaneki's statement Hide jolted as he'd been burned.

"No way!" Hide shouted sternly, "those are the books that your dad gave you! They're the only thing you have to remind you of him! And the ones your mom gave you when you were young! You can't just give up the only connection to your past!"

Kaneki flinched, not because of Hide's volume but how Kaneki originally gave up his past in order to live a somewhat content life. Somewhat, because his life as a ghoul couldn't compare to the happiness he felt when he was human.

"We'll get a two bedroom apartment!" Hide declared as he stood up from his seat.

Kaneki gaped at his friend, "but the good ones cost a lot!"

"It's either that or I'll get rid of my books," Kaneki made to retort at Hide's statement only to have a hand slap over his mouth. "Nope, not listening!" Hide announced. "I won't allow you to give up the past in order to make me happy, friends don't ask other friends to do that. Besides, those books hold happy memories for you," Hide said softly.

Kaneki smiled up at the standing Hide, if anyone was to remind him of his humanity it would be Hide. And of course Hide would protect Kaneki's books, Hide was the one who retrieved them after Kaneki's Aunt had threw them out.

Softly grabbing one of Hide's hand, Kaneki brought it up to his forehead as he remembered all of the things Hide had done for him throughout their childhood. Hide was the only thing that kept Kaneki alive during those times.

"I'm sorry," Kaneki whispered.

Because becoming a ghoul wasn't the reason for his loss of humanity. Sure, being a half ghoul made it difficult to retain his humanity but Kaneki didn't lose his humanity when Rize came into his life. No, becoming a ghoul did not make Kaneki loose it. But becoming a ghoul did make Kaneki forget. Forget about how happy he was when he was human, about how much joy he had then and how much he wanted to be human again. Hide was what brought Kaneki's humanity back. Nothing else was connected to his humanity enough except Hide. Nothing brought Kaneki more joy than Hide.

"What are you apologizing for?" Hide asked, disrupting Kaneki's thought.

Kaneki's eyes widen briefly as he was brought back to what was happening. "Nothing," he said as closed his eyes in thought, "what were we talking about?"

"A new apartment," Hide responded immediately, "are you feeling faint? Do you need to go back to the hospital?"

Kaneki shook his head, "no. I was just thinking about a potential new place, want to go see it with me?" he asked as he opened his eyes to stare up at Hide.

"Sure man, when is this happening?" Hide asked, raising an eyebrow at Kaneki.

Kaneki smiled largely, "tomorrow, you don't have a class then, right?"

"Don't have class? What are you talking about?! We both have a class tomorrow!" Hide laughed as he stared hard at Kaneki, "we both have a- oh wait, I have your notes and missing works."

Kaneki laughed. "What kind of work and notes are missing? We only have three classes together this semester," He pointed out to Hide, who was shuffling stuff in the kitchen.

"Dude, are you forgetting you only have three classes this semester! Of course I would have the notes for all of your classes." Hide retorted as the paper shuffling stopped. "I forgot our Asian History notes in my apartment but here are the notes and assignments for everything but Asian History" Hide said as he walked into the living room in order to place a stack of paper on the table.

Kaneki eyed the papers in front of him distrustfully, "thanks."

It had been such a long time since he actually participated in college. To Kaneki it felt like another lifetime all together. A very short and happy dream filled with a limitless possibility of the future.

"Don't thank me yet, you haven't seen the pile of work we got for Asian History. Trust me, the amount of work is brutal for those in class, imagine what it'll be like for you."

Kaneki scrunched his nose up in distaste. "I would rather start doing my Asian History first if that's the case."

"But it's in my apartment!" Hide whined, "I would have to walk alone in this darkness just to get home and get back here!"

Kaneki frowned to himself as he got up and walked to a window. "Sunset hasn't happened yet, you need to be quick about it. And I'll be there with you."

"You should stay home, you just got released from the hospital," Hide retorted after a moment of silence.

Kaneki smiled at Hide, "I want to protect you."

"Protect me?" Hide snorted with laughter and disbelief in his voice, "I don't really need protection, especially from someone who just got out of the hospital."

Kaneki laughed at Hide, "just because I got out of the hospital today doesn't mean I'm weaker than you."

"Really? That's funny. I could have sworn I always out performed you in strength." Hide said with a grin as he playfully tapped a finger against his chin.

Kaneki rolled his eyes, "that's because I let you win."

"Those be challenging words," Hide said as he walked over to the opposite side of the table. "Arm wrestle to prove my strength is stronger than yours?" Hide asked jokingly as he sat down and placed his arm onto the table.

Kaneki knew he shouldn't because humans are much weaker than ghouls. But he really did want to protect Hide. So Kaneki decided he would only use a small portion of his strength.

Giving Hide a small smile, Kaneki sat on the floor across the blond. "Don't complain when you lose," Kaneki said with confidence.

"Bring it," Hide grinned back as the two clasped their hands together and began to count.

Once they said start, Kaneki gritted his teeth as his arm was forced towards the table.

"How can someone who just got out of the hospital be this strong?" Hide asked with a strained pout as Kaneki forcefully regained their starting positions with his full power. Winking at Kaneki, Hide smiled brightly as he once again forced Kaneki's arm towards the table. A loud thud sounded as Kaneki's arm had hit the table, signaling his loss; "not that it matters since I still won," Hide blew a kiss towards Kaneki as he made a peace sign.

Kaneki just sat dazed as he gazed at Hide in wonder.

"Kaneki? Ka-ne-ki? Is anyone there?" Hide asked worriedly as waved hand in front of Kaneki's face. "I'm going to leave now. I'll be back before dark," Hide huffed as he sat up and walked over to Kaneki. "Make sure you eat your burgers before I get back!" Hide cheered before ruffling Kaneki's hair and leaving the apartment with a skip in his step.

Kaneki's kept on staring at the wall in wonderment as he contemplated his strength.

"Does this mean Hide is stronger than me?" Kaneki wondered out loud before flexing his arm. Gazing hard at his skinny arm, Kaneki frowned in thought before an unpleasant smell reached his nose.

Kaneki gazed dejectedly at the source of the smell before sighing.

Reaching forward towards the food, Kaneki pondered the possibility of still being human. If he was still human then of course Hide would win the arm wrestling match. Maybe the reason for such disgusting reaction towards the fish was merely because hospital foods really do taste disgusting. Kaneki didn't remember the taste of hospital food but he was sure that it tasted horrible to humans as well.

Gulping loudly, Kaneki unwrapped the burger and flinched as his nose was filled with stench. Wincing as he brought the burger to his mouth, Kaneki inhaled and exhaled deeply for a moment before taking a huge bite out of his burger and swallowing it.

Shuddering, Kaneki forced himself to take another bite as he made up excuses in his mind on why the food would taste bad. Giving up on his delusions, Kaneki placed the burger down before running to the bathroom.

He was a ghoul. There is no other explanation to why the food would make him feel this way. Sighing deeply to himself, Kaneki couldn't stop the tears from leaving his eyes. Gently banging his head against the toilet seat, Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he thought of what to do.

Opening his eyes, Kaneki gritted his teeth as he thought about his loss to Hide. "How did he win?" Kaneki mumbled. Standing up, Kaneki looked into a nearby mirror and flexed his arm. Noting the lack of defined muscles, Kaneki hissed as his stomach started to pinch in pain.

"I am a half ghoul," Kaneki whispered to his reflection "I need to protect Hide." After he said that to his reflection, Kaneki frowned in thought while bring his arm up to the mirror to flex. "I need to work out but I am still ghoul," Kaneki scrunched up his nose, "no matter how weak I am, I still should be stronger than a human." Kaneki nodded his head as he stopped flexing.

So how was Hide able to beat him, a half-ghoul?

A/N:

For those of you who want the answers or the next chapter immediately I refer you to my AO3 account and the Fourth chapter with some answers posted there. Also a reminder: same story title but with my pen name as Cookie2rookie. Other than that, enjoy the cliff hanger~