Waking up
Note: Forgot that FF has a different set up compared to AO3 so here is me telling you guys that the end game for this story will be KaneHide/HideKane along with canon couple Nishio/Kimi
Previously
"Kaneki?" Hide asked hesitantly, "what did you just say?"
Kaneki smiled softly as he removed his head from Hide's neck, "nothing."
"Hmmm," Hide hummed as he casted a thoughtful look at Kaneki, "that's fine, are we still going to my apartment?"
Kaneki slowly stood up, not letting Hide go as the two clumsily shuffled around one another. "Of course."
The trip to Hide's apartment was uneventful. The trip back to Kaneki's apartment was starting to look just as uneventful. Except for one thing.
"Are you planning on letting me go, yet?" Hide asked after three blocks of walking back from his apartment with Kaneki.
Kaneki gritted his teeth as he tightened his grip around Hide's waist. The two continued their awkward shuffle down the street. "No," Kaneki said bluntly.
"Okay," Hide released a heavy sigh at Kaneki's response. "Can I at least convince you to let me go so we can walk normally?" Hide asked as he nearly tripped over another crack in the cement.
Kaneki hummed as if he hadn't heard Hide's question.
Hide blew air out of his mouth in frustration. "Kaneki?" Hide whined as Kaneki tightened his grip once more.
"Haven't we learned about safety in numbers?" Kaneki grinned at Hide.
Hide rolled his eyes as he pouted at Kaneki, "I'm pretty sure that only applies to children and girls."
"Still not letting go," Kaneki said, sticking his tongue out at the end for added effect.
"Fine," Hide responded as he rolled his head to the side as they walked past an alley. Stopping suddenly, Hide tilted his head towards the alley, "hey. Let's take a turn here!" Hide chirped and Kaneki's face began to go pale.
"What?!" Kaneki removed his arm around Hide's waist as he looked at Hide in disbelief. "No, that's an alleyway, why would you even think about going there?" Kaneki asked as his arm circled around Hide's waist once again.
Hide pouted as he nudged Kaneki with his shoulder. "It's a shortcut," Hide stated.
"And?" Kaneki asked with a desperate and fearful tone.
Hide bit his lip before he grinned at Kaneki. "I could've sworn that you were fussing over how it is too dangerous for a weak, fragile human to be out after dark," Hide said as he briefly looked up at the dark orange sky.
Kaneki followed Hide's gaze with determination. Eyes widening briefly at the setting sun, Kaneki gritted his teeth before he glared at Hide.
Hide blew hot air up to his bangs. "And it will get us back sooner as compared to the way we went coming here," Hide pointed out as more people started to walk the streets.
"It is dangerous," Kaneki stated as he tugged gently at Hide's jacket.
Rolling his eyes, Hide shifted so he was standing closer to Kaneki before whispering into Kaneki's ear. "It's a shortcut that might have a dead body."
"Hide?!" Kaneki croaked out loudly in surprise before being hushed at by Hide.
Hide aggressively stepped on Kaneki's foot causing both of them to wince. "Please Kaneki," Hide whispered pleadingly. "I can't help you with everything now and that scares me. I want to help you. I want to be of use to you. Please let me help. We agreed that we would figure out what our next move would be. Let me help you," Hide let his eyes water slightly for effect.
Kaneki let go of Hide's waist as his hands moved to Hide's arms. Stuttering, Kaneki tried to find the words to comfort Hide as his hands fluttered between holding Hide's waist or arms: "I-b-Hide-"
"Please Kaneki," Hide tilted his head. "You don't have to walk with me if going down the alley makes you uncomfortable but at least let me do this for you," Hide begged with a slight hop as he shifted his weight once more.
Inhaling deeply Kaneki stared at Hide steadily, "no."
"W-what?" Hide jolted as Kaneki's fluttering hands became more firm as they lightly gripped Hide's arm.
Kaneki shifted closer to Hide, "I won't let you."
"Kaneki!" Hide shouted in disbelief.
The hands gripping Hide's arms tightened. "I promised to never let you get hurt."
"Kaneki?" Hide's tone was hesitant.
Kaneki pressed his forehead against Hide's shoulder. "Don't go," Kaneki pleaded in a small voice, "don't go to places I can't follow."
"What are you talking about?" Hide inquired in an equally small voice.
Kaneki lifted his head to stare closely into Hide's eyes. "Don't go! I–I," Kaneki's eyes became glossy as his hands gripping Hide's arms became more painful.
"You're hurting me," Hide said as the pressure on his arms got stronger.
Kaneki made no sign of listening as he kept on repeating the same phrase of don't go over and over.
Biting his lip, Hide inhaled deeply before head-butting Kaneki viciously.
"Fuuccccckkkkk," the two whined together.
"Hide!" Kaneki hissed loudly as he rubbed his forehead tenderly. It didn't hurt much as Hide's probably did. For Hide was still cursing as he made a pinched expression while clutching Kaneki's homework tightly to his chest while crouched down. "I-I-I'm sorry" Kaneki said as he hovered over Hide's crouched form.
"No," Hide said as he looked up from his position to give Kaneki a pained smile. "I'm sorry that I implied for you not to walk me down the alley. It was stupid and senseless of me."
Kaneki bit his lip in thought, "Hide?"
"So, be my bodyguard as we walk down this not really dark alleyway," Hide said quickly as he stood up with a large grin on his face.
"Sure," Kaneki agreed immediately as he watched Hide's movements. It took a few seconds for what Hide had said to register in his mind. "Hide!" Kaneki shouted as Hide started to walk into the alleyway.
Hide stopped to turn around and stuck his tongue out at Kaneki. "To late~" Hide hummed cheerfully. "You already agreed!"
And with that, Hide walked into the alley with Kaneki following behind. Turned out that Hide's 'shortcut' was a labyrinth of short alleys intersecting with one another at the most random and unexpected places. Soon Kaneki wasn't able to hear the sounds of traffic from the road as the two walked deeper and deeper into the maze-like alleys. In the area where faint sounds of car horns were heard, Kaneki and Hide found a dead human body and the ghoul that was feeding from it.
Feeling himself freeze up, Kaneki couldn't take his eyes away from the body in front of him. Inhaling deeply, Kaneki gritted his teeth and clenched his hands as the smell of human flesh gripped his senses.
"Kaneki?" Hide whispered softly as he gently bumped his shoulder against Kaneki's. "Let's go, we'll find a different body."
Blinking at the warmth that hit his shoulder, Kaneki turned his head so he could meet Hide's eyes. "Yeah," Kaneki answered hoarsely as he made to leave.
Multiple loud thuds were heard as Hide shoved himself and Kaneki to the side.
"A ghoul and a human," the ghoul they walked in on said with a smirk on its face as it stood in the spot Kaneki and Hide were standing in.
Hide hissed as he sat up slowly. "We won't tell anyone, so let us leave in peace, please." Hide pleaded with the ghoul.
Kaneki stood up slowly as the ghoul responded in a dark deep voice, "nah, just means I'm gonna binge some more."
Kaneki growled as he placed himself in front of Hide. "That's not happening," Kaneki stated and the ghoul raised an eyebrow.
"Funny," it stated with a smirk. "Tryin' to protect the pretty thin' behind ya?" it asked sarcastically in a drunk like tone. Turning to face the body, the ghoul laughed, "or were ya tryin' to lead the pretty back to eat it?" The ghoul faced the duo again. Stepping back, the ghoul crouched before it jumped into the air. The ghoul barked as it slammed its foot onto Kaneki's forearms.
Hissing at the loud crack from his arms, Kaneki brought a leg up to kick the ghoul.
"Slow!" The ghoul howled in amusement before jumping out of the way of the kick so that it could launch a punch to Kaneki's gut.
The hit landed and Kaneki gasped loudly as blood dripped from his mouth.
"Leave him alone!" Hide yelled and the ghoul was forced to retreat quickly as a foot lodged itself toughly into the ghoul's side.
The ghoul slowly stood with a hand cradling its hips as it stared at Hide in amazement. "Wow-zers," the ghoul said in a dazed tone. "Flower have thorns," it commented with a leer. Removing its hand from its side the ghoul crooned at Hide, "ya look so pretty an' sexy with that look." It moaned with a heated look and Kaneki moved himself in front of Hide. The ghoul shifted its pants with a smile on its face. "Don' look like that," it commented while nodding towards Hide. "Ya make me hornyy," it smirked before it hiccupped and Kaneki didn't need to turn around to see Hide stiffen from the ghoul's lewd comments.
Kaneki gritted his teeth before launching a kick towards the ghoul's stomach.
The ghoul didn't bother to dodge the kick as it hit its mark.
Humming in thought, the ghoul tossed Kaneki to the side. "Smell like a ghoul but are ya one?" It mocked as it hopped on the back of it heels. "Ya weak if ya are; so, so weak."
Kaneki gritted his teeth in frustration as he thought of Hide standing a few feet away from the ghoul. He needed to kill this monster across from him. Kill not defeat; for the twisted expression on the ghoul's face told Kaneki that if left alive, it would forever go after Hide and him.
Watching as it's gaze turned to Hide once again, Kaneki growled deeply as the ghoul licked its lips before its heated gaze became a heated leer.
"Ya really a preetty little thing," it slurred as if the ghoul and Hide were the only things in the area. "After this weaklin' is done, promise to play with ya." It leered some more as if it was undressing Hide with it's eyes.
At that moment, Kaneki was filled with a chill as he finally understood what the ghoul meant by 'playing' with Hide. It was disgusting. The entire notion of playing with human lives or torturing them for fun sickened Kaneki greatly. It was unjust, no real reason behind it; and it made Kaneki angry.
Angry at the world. Angry at ghouls. Angry at Kanou. And most importantly, angry at himself. While he never tortured anyone for fun or to pass time, he was disgusted that in the original time line, he thought that allying with someone who lured innocents in with friendship and made entertainment of said innocents trying to save their lives funny. Tsukiyama-san lured and made entertainment out of tormenting humans because he could. It disgusted Kaneki then and it still did. Food source or not, sometimes, that man's image overlapped with Rize's, for both were manipulated and cruel.
But, Kaneki would always hate Kanou more than anything. Or at least he thought he did until right across from him stood a ghoul that was sizing Hide up as if the blond was an animal. That taking the life of someone as bright as Hide was nothing but mere fun.
Kaneki couldn't even name what he was feeling. Hatred sounded so small as compared to the bubbling emotion he felt crawling his skin.
"He's not weak," Hide said suddenly snapping Kaneki out of his inner thoughts.
Glancing somewhat behind him, Kaneki eyes widened as he caught the determined look in Hide's eyes.
The ghoul started to laugh loudly and mockingly. "Preeeetty," it called with its deep voice. "He's weak," The ghoul opened it's arms wide as if welcoming a hug, "weak!" Thrusting its hips upward, in a motion normally only seen in one's bedroom, the ghoul laughed again as it closed its eyes, "prove it then play time." It's voice still had a drunk like quality to it as the pronunciation was sharp and quick.
Kaneki felt like throwing up at the image in his brain. He wouldn't, couldn't allow this creature in front of him to keep degrading Hide as if he was something to be used in that manner. No one had the right to think or even look at Hide in the manner.
Inhaling deeply, Kaneki narrowed his eyes at the relaxed figure of the ghoul. Exhaling the breath he had started to hold, Kaneki heard his clothing rip as Hide quietly gasped.
The ghoul's eyes opened at the sound. Smirking confidently at Kaneki, the ghoul held out his arms as blood bleed into the air.
Kaneki let his instincts and reflexes take over as the ghoul flew into the air to scatter shards down upon Kaneki.
"I take it back," the ghoul mocked as he dodged the tackle Kaneki aimed at him. "Ya a ghoul but weeeeeeeaaaaakkkkk." The ghoul flew higher into the air only to be slammed into and forced to a stop as a rinkaku wrapped around his ankle. "Damn it," the ghoul hissed in surprise before it was slammed into the ground. Coughing up blood, the ghoul shakily pushed itself off the ground.
Kaneki growled before all four of his rinkaku pierced the ghoul. Repeatedly tossing and piercing the body, Kaneki smirked.
"Kaneki," Hide whispered from where he was standing.
Kaneki tilted his head at Hide and grinned.
Hide moved closer to Kaneki and Kaneki groaned as he tossed the body to the side. Mouthwatering excessively, Kaneki grinned as he stepped toward Hide.
Hide didn't move before he gave a bright smile. "Its okay to be hungry," Hide said as he held his hands in the air.
Kaneki made to step forward at the scent of a human only to stop.
"Hide," Kaneki croaked in a daze before he remembered what he was about to do.
Kaneki was about to eat Hide, his best friend since they met. The only person who is guaranteed to always accept him. Ghoul, human, half-ghoul, or some other monster; Hide would always accept him; and Kaneki was going to repay Hide's loyalty by eating him. It wasn't fair and the thought of doing anything like that to Hide made Kaneki sick.
"I'm sorry," Kaneki said before clasping his hands over his mouth.
"Hey," Hide said from his spot near the dead human body, "hunger is okay. Its normal." Hide bent down to grab ahold of the dead human body to drag it over to Kaneki. "Its perfectly fine to be hungry, it's a way your body tells you that you need nutrients. So eat," Hide said as he presented Kaneki with the dead human body.
Kaneki stared at the man that Hide held the wrist of. Would Kaneki be betraying Hide if he ate humans? But he was so hungry, it felt like bugs were crawling and eating away at his insides. He was so hungry. So, so hungry. But Hide. Hide may had felt that Kaneki eating humans was okay but it wasn't to Kaneki. There were so many memories Kaneki had as a human. So many good and bad times that shaped Kaneki into the man he was before becoming a ghoul.
It wasn't far. To be forced to eat humans for survival. The feeling of eating a human nearly caused as much pain as the hunger did. Why did he have to eat? Kaneki would rather starve than eat a human again. Was there no other option for him? Would he, once again, be forced to eat human flesh?!
Kaneki didn't pay attention as his mouth continued to water heavily at the sight of the human body. Slowly and cautiously taking the body from Hide, Kaneki stared at the face of his meal. Kaneki blinked rapidly as the face slowly morphed into one he knew and would always know.
"Hide," Kaneki said hoarsely as with each moment the face resembled Hide more and more.
"Kaneki? What's wrong?" Hide asked and Kaneki turned his face away from the corpse.
"Weak," Kaneki remembered the ghoul from before saying that. Closing his eyes tightly, Kaneki tried to ignore the voice of that ghoul accompanied by Touka's and Rize's all saying the one thing that Kaneki already knew. Kaneki knew he was weak, he had tried to be strong, he wanted to be strong so that he could protect Hide.
It wasn't until an all too familiar and ominous voice sounded in his head that Kaneki tensed.
"What's 1000 minus 7?" the voice asked.
Kaneki opened his eyes quickly as he stated the number: "993."
"Kaneki?"
Kaneki turned to face the body of the ghoul he just killed. The hunger increased as he started to walk over to the ghoul.
"Kaneki?" Hide asked again. "Why are you walking over there?"
Kaneki heard only silence as his vision blackened as warm liquid hit the insides of his mouth.
/
When Kaneki awoke, it was with a jolt.
Eyes darting franticly across the room, Kaneki slowly rolled out of the bed in worry. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was the taste of blood as he ripped open the abdomen of the ghoul. Kaneki fleetingly remembered warm blood gushing and spraying everywhere as he ate.
Kaneki briefly remembered Hide standing from afar with a neutral face as the ghoul's blood was sprayed onto the both of them.
Everything after that was blank as Kaneki consumed more and more. Thus the reason why Kaneki was so concerned. He didn't know or remember what happened with Hide. Perhaps the blond ran away or perhaps he stayed in the alley in shock as Kaneki ate. But what worried Kaneki the most was the hole in his memory. Did he attack Hide? Was the blond wounded? Did Kaneki fail? Did Kaneki kill Hide, his best friend and most important person?!
Licking his lips, Kaneki winced at the flavor of ghoul's flesh. Perhaps he didn't eat Hide after all but merely injured the blond?
"Hide?" Kaneki called out, voice hoarse from his food induced sleep. Calling for the blond some more Kaneki inhaled deeply; "Hide!" Kaneki yelled only for no response to return.
Flinging his bedroom door opened Kaneki hurled himself out of the room only to trip over a lump on the ground. Catching himself from falling, Kaneki turned to stare at the mass of shivering clothing on the floor that yelped at the impact.
"Hide?" Kaneki called hesitantly as pieces of clothing fell away to reveal Hide. Grabbing Hide's arms Kaneki looked at the brown eyes as they blinked dazedly. "Hide!" Kaneki cried before pulling Hide into a tight hug.
Hide merely yawned as he blinked repeatedly, "yeah, Kaneki?"
"Hide," Kaneki whimpered as he buried his head into Hide's neck. Breathing deeply and ignoring the tears spilling from his eyes, Kaneki whispered Hide's name over and over again.
Hide stopped blinking as he shifted in Kaneki's hug. "Is there a fire?" Hide asked with a yawn.
Kaneki laughed in relief at the question. "No," Kaneki said as he pressed into Hide's warm and alive body. "No, there is no fire," Kaneki laughed in relief as his tears stopped flowing heavily.
Hide hummed in thought. "Are you okay?" Hide asked as he brought his hands up to pat Kaneki on the back.
"You're safe and alive," Kaneki said. Pulling away from the hug, Kaneki kept his head bent as he apologized to Hide in soft whispers.
Hide tilted Kaneki's head up. "I'm fine but I'm more worried about you. You slept for a really long time," Hide smiled vibrantly.
"How long was I asleep for?" Kaneki asked, trying to rid himself of the negative thoughts he had earlier. "Wait. Why were you on the ground, sleeping? You can catch a cold!"
Hide's smile turned into a grin as he pinched Kaneki's cheek before slightly pulling them. Eyebrows bent in concentration, Hide hummed at Kaneki. "I don't really know what you're talking about but I forgive you," Hide said with a smile. "And no longer than four hours."
"Okay," Kaneki muttered. Taking a moment for the information to sink in, Kaneki's eyes widen briefly before he squeezed them shut as he pulled away from Hide's hold on his cheeks. "Why would you do that?" he asked as he rubbed his cheeks.
"You smell," Hide sniffed before standing up and commanding Kaneki to take a shower.
/
When Kaneki exited the shower he found Hide sitting on his couch, with the left over Big Girl burger in his hand as he munched on it while watching a special about ghouls.
"Hide," Kaneki called after ingraining the casual, peaceful picture in his mind.
Hide took another bite out of the burger. "Yeah, man?" Hide responded, not bothering to look up at Kaneki.
"I'm a ghoul, Hide," Kaneki stated bluntly.
Hide turned to look at Kaneki as he munched on another piece. Swallowing what he bit, Hide smiled knowingly at Kaneki, "technically you're a half-ghoul."
"That's beside the point," Kaneki said as he moved to sit on the ground across from Hide. Pulling his legs close to his chest, Kaneki sighed as he wrapped his arms around his legs: "I have the strength of a ghoul now."
Hide glanced at Kaneki. "Yeah, it is weird because before you couldn't even fight your way out of a paper bag." Hide smirked as he shifted to the ground so he and Kaneki were on eye level with each other.
"Hide," Kaneki made a face of disbelief and disappointment at Hide.
Hide laughed before taking another bite out of the burger. Swallowing audibly, Hide grinned at Kaneki; "What? It is true. A granny had more muscles than you."
"I'm not going to respond to that," Kaneki said as he closed his eyes as if asking for patience. "But my point still remains," Kaneki opened his eyes to stare at Hide, "I have the strength of a ghoul. You agree right?"
Hide placed the burger wrapper onto the table between him and Kaneki. Forcing the small remainder in his mouth, Hide held up a hand as he chewed thoughtfully. "Well yeah, you were pretty bad ass fighting off that one ghoul in the alleyway," Hide said after swallowing.
"You agree," Kaneki smiled slightly before frowning. "So how were you able to beat me at arm wrestling?"
Hide pouted at Kaneki, "I already said that you got stronger because your body needed more electrolytes. Without it your muscles couldn't function properly." Hide sighed deeply before he gained an inquisitive expression on his face, "Speaking of that, how did the Gatorade taste to you?
"It tasted horrible and okay at the same time," Kaneki stated immediately before shifting his sitting position so that it mirrored Hide's relaxed one. "I don't mean why I lost. I know why but I want to know how you won," Kaneki said with a curious tone as he grimaced at Hide.
Hide frowned at Kaneki, "its kind of obvious on how I won."
"No matter how weak or starved a ghoul is, they're still stronger than humans. Electrolytes or not," Kaneki stated blandly as he crossed his arms and tilted his head.
"The-"
"CCG not counting (1)," Kaneki said immediately, cutting off Hide as he anticipated what the blond was going to say. "I met your parents and I'm pretty sure that you are absolutely not related to the Washus."
Hide pouted, "I totally could be related to them."
"Nice try but I remember beating you three different times at a school race," Kaneki said as he sighed.
Hide stuck his tongue out at Kaneki, "I was just making it easy for you to not be last."
"You said that to me for those three times and guess what?" Kaneki waved his hand at Hide. "I still don't believe it."
Crossing his arms, Hide scowled. "I don't see why not," Hide muttered under his breath.
"Its probably because you couldn't even say the sentence without puking because you tried to run as fast as the me," Kaneki gave a fond smile as he remembered the scene.
Hide grimaced at the memory, "way to break a guy's dream. And by break, I mean destroy." Hide laid his head down against the table, "because you came as the second last place."
"With you as the king of last place for three years straight," Kaneki stated with a small smile before he frowned. "But back to the point, how did you beat me –a ghoul- at an arm wrestling match."
Hide opened his mouth only to have Kaneki's hand clasp over it.
"And before you even say it, I wasn't taking it easy against you and electrolytes only partially explain my loss," Kaneki continued to say before he removed his hands from Hide's mouth.
Hide sat up from his slouch over the table to look at Kaneki, "Its probably because I'm not fully human by technicality."
Kaneki blinked slowly before he started to sputter. "W-w-wha-what?!" Kaneki shouted in alarm. Going by the look on Hide's face, Kaneki knew that the blond wasn't joking.
Hide tilted his head at Kaneki in amusement, "My great grandpa was a ghoul. (2)"
Kaneki squinted at Hide in thought before he inhaled deeply to see if Hide's smell was different from humans. Winding up with nothing but the smell of home and safety, Kaneki bit his lips in thought.
Hide snickered as he watched Kaneki and his supposedly subtle sniff to see if Hide told the truth. "Okaaay, from the beginning then," Hide closed his eyes briefly. Taking a deep breath, Hide held up a finger in the air, "My great grandpa was a full blooded ghoul." Hide brought up another finger "he met my great grandma –a human- and by various events he fell in love with her." Hide paused before bringing up his third finger, "they married and had one child."
Kaneki inhaled deeply as Hide continued to talk.
"That child was my grandpa so he was born as a half-ghoul. Kind of like you but he was natural while you're more like-" Hide grimaced as he made a vague hand gesture that encompassed Kaneki and what was done to him. "But back onto point, my grandpa also fell in love with a human. After a long courting period, grandma and grandpa married and then they had my dad."
Kaneki bit his lip in thought. Did Hide's dad have to eat human flesh as well? Did that mean Hide grew up in a household where his parent ate and killed humans? But Kaneki knew Hide's dad. The man with the light brown hair peppered with salt. Hide's father had a sweet tooth and always talked about certain restaurants' cake. Hide's dad even made Kaneki a birthday cake once. It didn't make sense to Kaneki.
Hide flicked Kaneki on the nose to bring Kaneki back to the conversation.
"Now, people would assume that being one-third ghoul would give no ghoul like strength, which would be right and wrong," Hide grinned. "Dad does have a kakugan, but his kakugan is like a washed down version of a ghoul's kakugan," Hide said, "it's a grey color and the red is really faded." Hide crossed his arms as he nodded his head, "so basically he's like normal human with extra strength and senses that come with a really weird looking eye."
Hide shrugged, "but that isn't anything to write home about because if a human worked out regularly then they could beat my dad up if they wanted to." Hide frowned, "I guess I still have some ghoul genes in my body but only a little if you really wanted to be specific." Hide brought his hand that he was still holing up, down.
Kaneki was silent as he squinted in thought at Hide.
"Kaneki?" Hide asked hesitantly as Kaneki sat still. "I didn't break you, right?" Hide asked with a strained smile.
Kaneki closed his eyes as he licked his lips in thought, "Hide?"
"Yeah?" Hide responded with a bright grin.
Looking beseechingly at Hide, Kaneki bit his lips, "I never knew this."
"Well, you never asked," Hide stated as if Kaneki was purposely being difficult.
Tensing his body, Kaneki became alarmed at what Hide just said. "Hide! Are you implying that you would tell anyone about this if they asked?!"
"Of course not! I'd only tell you!" Hide responded harshly. "You're my best friend. We've always been together since we meet. That means a lot to me."
Kaneki winced at Hide's admittance of that. What kind of friend was Kaneki when he avoided Hide to "protect" the blond? While Kaneki was away with the ghouls having a somewhat okay time Hide slaved away just to find him. What kind of person did that make him? Hide died with a smile in his arms! Hide gave his life away just so that he could see Kaneki again. So that he could see Kaneki smile like he used to. So that Kaneki would come back home. So that Kaneki would know that Hide knew and didn't see him as a monster.
Hide did so much for him and what did Kaneki do to repay that loyalty and unconditional faith and love? Kaneki made Hide suffer. He should have known better. Even as children, Hide admitted that his greatest fear was of being left alone and forgotten. Hide felt pain as Kaneki was satisfied. Hide even admitted that in the original timeline when he talked about Kaneki and the Anteiku workers. Hide even said that he felt alone.
The worst part was that Hide died with the most beautiful smile on his lips. Hide was happy to see Kaneki even as he bleed to death. He was so beautiful in that moment and Kaneki felt so guilty. Guilty for making Hide's biggest fears come true. Guilty for leaving Hide. Guilty for making Hide so desperate. Guilty for putting Hide in danger. Guilty for Hide dying to in an attempt at just seeing Kaneki. Kaneki was horrible, disgusting, and filthy for making Hide go so far.
Kaneki left Hide alone and Hide joined the CCG just so that he could have leads on where Kaneki would be. Kaneki was wrong. So, so, so sososososo wrong. Protect Hide by leaving him? More like Hide dying if Kaneki left. Kaneki didn't want Hide to die! Kaneki didn't want to become a ghoul! He didn't want to be this way! Why!? Why did this have to happen to him!?
"Kaneki? Are you okay?" Hide asked in a worried tone as he reached across the table to hold one of Kaneki's hands. Squeezing the hand he held tightly, Hide turned the hand over as he thought. "You look depressed," Hide said quietly before tightening his grip on Hide's hand. "I don't like that look on you," Hide admitted.
Kaneki squeezed Hide's hand back. "I don't want to see you hurt," Kaneki softly spoke as he bent his head, unwilling to let Hide see his tears of frustration.
"Ka-"
Adjusting his grip, Kaneki looked up into Hide's eyes. "I've decided that the best way to protect you is to be with you always," Kaneki stated in a firm voice as he tugged at Hide's hand.
Hide frowned lightly as he worried his bottom lip in thought, "were you planning on leaving?" Hide's voice wavered as his pitched lowered in volume.
"I-" Kaneki gulped and closed his eyes briefly before opening them up to reveal his one kakugan and normal eye "-for a moment I thought about it" Kaneki admitted. "But then I realized that you would always follow and try to bring me back home. Even if I was somewhere dangerous for even ghouls, you –a human- would follow me no matter what. Leaving you would put you in more danger than staying with you would."
Hide pouted with a squint, "your self-sacrificing attitude is showing but you are correct. I would follow you even if it means my death."
"I know," Kaneki admits reluctantly as his memories of Hide dying was brought back again.
Hide was so beautiful at the time and the smile he gave just hurt Kaneki nearly as much as the blond dying in his arms did. Partially because that one smile of Hide's will forever be ingrained in Kaneki's mind as Hide's death bed smile. Just thinking back onto that scene made Kaneki's blood boil. It also spiked an emotion Kaneki hadn't felt since he was younger. Possessiveness and hopelessness. Hide wasn't allowed to die or leave. Perhaps that's why Kaneki always left before he could risk injury. Kaneki smiled faintly as Hide sat patiently, waiting for Kaneki to finish his sentence.
"That's why-" Kaneki brought his other hand up to tug at Hide's hair. "I'm never letting you go."
Hide smiles brightly and for a moment Kaneki felt his breath catch again, "I'm glad we're on the same page then."
"Yeah, I'm happy too," Kaneki smiled brightly with his teeth before frowning. Hide said his great grandfather was a ghoul. Hide's great grandfather was a ghoul. Hide's great grandfather was a ghoul and his grandfather was a half-ghoul. "Wait!" Kaneki yelled sharply as his grip tighten on Hide's hand causing the other to wince, "your dad's a ghoul!?"
Hide smiled at Kaneki, "one-third ghoul" Hide spoke through gritted teeth. Inhaling deeply Hide blinked rapidly at Kaneki, "are you now digesting that?" Hide asked in disbelief.
"Well you gave too much information at once!" Kaneki objected immediately. Hide was a near expert at derailing a conversation from the important parts. Well at least he was when Kaneki took part in the conversation, "anybody would take a moment to actually acknowledge that!"
Hide rolled his eyes, "well my mistake! No need to yell at me!" Hide said loudly before puffing his cheeks up as he looked at Kaneki.
"I'm not!-" Kaneki paused for a moment to take a deep breath. "Sorry for yelling at you, but your dad is one-third ghoul?"
Hide nodded his head at Kaneki, "yeah."
"So you grew up watching your grandpa eat humans? You said your dad was basically a normal human, so he didn't eat that in front of you right?" Kaneki rushed the sentence. Was Hide used to seeing ghouls eat? Did that explain Hide's easy acceptance of ghouls?
Hide smiled knowingly. "Nah man, I said he's only one-third ghoul. That means he can only eat the foods humans can. Or at least we assume he can; not that he has tried human flesh," Hided admitted with a shrug.
"Oh, okay" Kaneki said numbly as he stared dazedly at Hide. Blinking repeatedly, Kaneki shook his head slightly before he asked his next question: "sorry if this sounds rude, but why hasn't he ate human flesh?"
Hide blew air up to his hair, "my dad? That is because he's more human than he is ghoul. Dad said that he would feel like he would be committing cannibalism if he ate a human. But grandpa said that eating ghoul flesh is not cannibalism."
"Because your dad is one-third of ghoul," Kaneki said as he nodded his head in agreement.
Hide shrugged with a grin plastered on his face, "well it is that and something else, they say they relate more to humans; so, they feel as if they would be committing a sin if they eat humans."
"They?" Kaneki asked with a strained voice.
Hide squinted at Kaneki, "dad, grandpa, and allegedly great grandpa." Hide listed in a flat tone.
"I get why your dad would feel that way but your grandfather is a half ghoul. He needs human flesh to survive," Kaneki stated ignoring Hide's comment about his great grandpa.
Hide tilted his with a sheepish smile on his face, "grandpa feels like he would be betraying grandma if he went out and killed a human for food." Hide started to cross his arms as he nodded, "Is that weird?" Hide asked Kaneki.
And that wasn't weird. Kaneki truly did understand what Hide's grandfather must had felt. Earlier that day when presented a human's corpse Kaneki only saw one face on the body. It didn't matter that the face should have looked different but when Kaneki looked at the face he only saw Hide. Saw Hide's face on the body.
The thought made Kaneki so nauseous. What if one day Kaneki actually saw Hide that way. As if Hide was only food and nothing else. It was a horrible thought but now that Kaneki had the chance to think about actually eating humans, Kaneki felt depressed. How could Kaneki kill and eat humans when he spent most of his life as one? How could he kill or eat a human when all he could imagine was his most important person's face on the body of the person he killed?
"No, I understand," Kaneki said softly as he gazed at the joined hand of his and Hide's. "When he would look at a dead human or kill a human he would probably see the human he loves the most and that-" Kaneki paused as he took a deep breath "-that would be truly painful."
Hide rubbed his thumb against Kaneki's knuckle. "You speak like you experienced this already," Hide said.
"I just thought about it and remembered earlier with that ghoul," Kaneki admitted. "When I looked at the human corpse all I saw was your face. It made me sick at myself."
Hide hummed a familiar tune as he gained a thoughtful glint in his eyes. "Well I'm happy you care so much for me," Hide said with a small smile. "So what do you plan to eat?"
Still staring at their hands, Kaneki brought the hand up to his face to nuzzle it.
"You'll always be the most treasured to me," Kaneki said softly in a barely audible whisper as he continued to stare down at Hide's hand.
"What's with you and talking in a really low voice?" Hide asked jokingly.
Kaneki hummed lightly as he lifted his head to smile at Hide. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Hide pouted childishly at Kaneki.
"Hey Hide?" Kaneki asked.
Hide hummed and Kaneki lowered their hands so it rested on the table between them. "If your grandpa doesn't kill humans does he eat the bodies of suicide victims?"
"I thought I said this already," Hide said with his brow bent in confusion. "Grandpa doesn't eat humans at all."
Kaneki inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Then what does he eat? The only thing a ghoul can eat besides humans are-" Kaneki stopped for a moment. Why didn't he put more thought into this? Before with the body of the dead ghoul and human, Kaneki had choose the body of the ghoul. Eating the bodies of ghouls made a ghoul stronger. Yamori had yet to arrive and Kaneki –as he was now- wasn't strong enough to protect Hide. Kaneki needed to get stronger as soon as possible. He had to protect Hide. He must do what he failed to do in the original timeline. "Ghouls," Kaneki finished his thought.
"Bingo!" Hide said cheerfully, "Grandpa feasts on other ghouls."
Tightening his grip on Hide's hand briefly, Kaneki loosened his hold as he spoke. "Wouldn't that be cannibalism?"
"And wouldn't it be cannibalism if grandpa ate only humans?" Hide asked defensively.
Kaneki shrugged slightly, "Well-"
"Grandpa is half-human and half-ghoul. It would be cannibalism either way," Hide pointed out with a sigh.
Kaneki closed his eyes before opening them and gazing at Hide, "but-"
"Think of it from grandpa's perspective. There are ghouls who only eat so they can survive. Grandpa leaves those kinds alone," Hide said neutrally. "Then there are those that binge eat to the point that they throw up only to eat more and repeat the process," Hide took a deep breath. "There are also those that torture or play violent rigged games with humans, there is also a portion that kill humans just for the fun of it and not for food," Hide stopped talking to look directly in Kaneki's eyes.
Gripping Kaneki's hand firmly, Hide continued. "What is your opinions of ghouls like that? What would you feel if one tried to kill me for fun? How about torturing me? What about playing a violent and rigged game just so that they could have entertainment before eating me? Or how about what that one ghoul we met today? How would you feel if about ghouls who-"
"Shut up" Kaneki said with a low growl as he grabbed Hide's arms tightly. Kakugan appearing, Kaneki barred his teeth with a sneer at the thought of the ghoul from before, "I would kill them."
Hide inhaled deeply before smiling at Kaneki. "That's how grandpa feels. He believes that those types don't deserve to live. Both human versions and ghouls. And I kind of agree with him. Humans are sentient beings. So are ghouls. They both have feelings and families that would miss them. Now I'm not siding with any particular side but in order to achieve peace, both sides need to admit this fact and respect it. Humans need to see ghouls as people and not just emotionless monster; and ghouls need to have enough respect towards humans to kill only for the sake of survival if they have to choose that option instead of living off suicide victims," Hide took a deep breath at the end of his sentence. Biting his lip harshly, Hide looked down at the table, "sorry if that sounded harsh."
Kaneki's hands fluttered down to grasp at Hide's.
"No," Kaneki shook his head as he gently squeezed Hide's hands. "I agree," because it is true. The cycle of hatred would never end if both sides continued as they are. So many tragedies could have been prevented. So much hatred on both sides that could had been curtailed. "I agree with your grandfather," Kaneki said with a fond smile as he started to rub circles on Hide's palm. "I know what I'm going to do now," Kaneki said brightly as he let go of Hide's hand.
Hide tilted his head in thought. "About what you're going to eat?"
"I don't want to see you hurt and I don't want you in danger," Kaneki stated as he stood up.
Hide tilted his head up as he watched Kaneki, "So?"
"I'm going to eat ghouls. The kind that don't deserve to live. The kind your grandfather eats. I'll make this town a better place for you," Kaneki stated firmly as he walked over to the entryway.
Hide quickly stood up to follow Kaneki. "Where are you going?" Hide asked as he watched Kaneki place a jacket on.
"To get ghoul meat," Kaneki stated from where he sat to place on his shoes.
Hide bent down to gather his shoes and slipped them on. "Okay and where do you plan to get this ghoul meat from?"
"The body of the ghoul from before, it should still be in the alley," Kaneki stated as he stood up.
Hide paused to look up at the standing Kaneki. Tugging Kaneki's pant Hide smiled as Kaneki looked down, "I already took everything from the body."
"What?" Kaneki asked as he stopped moving to frown at Hide.
Hide kicked off his shoes as he wondered into the kitchen, Kaneki followed behind Hide. "I don't actually know how to cut up a body so I sawed off the major parts like arms, legs, and head before stuffing everything inside the fridge," Hide gestured at the fridge.
"Oh," Kaneki said numbly as he walked into the strong bleach smelling kitchen. Looking around the spotless kitchen Kaneki grinned, "you cleaned."
Hide rolled his eyes, "well you kind of have to after you cut up a body on the kitchen counter."
Kaneki frowned slightly as he opened up the fridge.
Hide was speaking the truth. He really did cut up the body. Legs were folded at the bottom shelf with an arm resting on top of them. The other arm was encircling the head on the shelf above the bottom. Neatly stacked next to the arm and head were a multitude of plastic containers filled with what Kaneki assumed to be organ parts. And on the very top shelf was the continuation of more containers filled with organs.
"Hide?" Kaneki asked hesitantly as he gaped at the insides of the fridge. "Where's the human food?"
Hide huffed as he motioned to the sink and cabinets. "Any perishable you had like milk was already bad so I threw those out and anything that was still good I ate."
"And what about you?" Kaneki asked as he closed the fridge, "you need to eat food too!"
Hide crossed his arms as he rolled his eyes. "Ramen," Hide stated, "and TV dinners."
"You can't live off ramen for the rest of your life!" Kaneki groaned loudly as he brought a hand up to message his temple. "It is unhealthy."
Hide blew a raspberry at Kaneki. "I totally could" Hide retorted with an exaggerated pout. "But this is a makeshift organization until we find a new apartment," Hide paused as he casted a watery look at Kaneki "or did you forget we're moving to a new place?" he added while fluttering his eyes.
Kaneki sighed, "of course not."
"We should rent a place with a bigger fridge," Hide said as he nodded to himself. "I would hate having to eat TV dinners and ramen for the rest of my life."
Kaneki's eyes widened as his cheeks flushed. "I woul- wait" Kaneki paused to cough into his fist, moving his hands away from his mouth, Kaneki gripped his shirt as he spoke in a strained voice. "Rest of your life?!" he squeaked out.
"Way to go, reversing your puberty like that," Hide snickered before Kaneki pinched him. "Sorry, couldn't help myself," Hide apologized and Kaneki released his hold of Hide's cheeks. Rubbing his cheeks, Hide looked down as he bit his lip, "so you mean we're not going to keep on-"
Kaneki waved his hands around in a flustered movement. "No! I mean I would love to keep on living with you for the rest of my life. I just thought you would get tired of me," Kaneki admitted with a bright blush on his face.
"Tired of you? You think too little of me." Hide said as he placed his hands on his hips.
Kaneki's tensed form relaxed as he heaved a sigh of relief. "Hmmm. Hey Hide," Kaneki asked.
"Yeah?"
"Were are my notes and homework?" Kaneki asked as he scratched his head. "I would like to get that all done before I go to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us so I want to do all my work now," he reminded Hide.
Hide nodded his head as he walked out of the kitchen. "Sure, were do you want to work on it?"
"My desk would be fine, is my work already there?" Kaneki asked as he followed Hide.
"Yeah, I thought you might want to work on it there" Hide said as he handed Kaneki a stack of papers and notes. "So I'll be out here. Holler if you have questions about the assignments."
Kaneki smiled slightly as he made his way to his bedroom. "Will do" he loudly spoke before entering his bedroom.
A/N: So, I was really conflicted on letting my theory of Hide's cannon unusualness. I needed a way to explain Hide's strength (novel canon: Hide was able to overpower the hungry ghoul "Cain") and why he was able to sense that Nishio was "poisonous" (Hide's word from the manga). Thus me not doing the 'Wasshu theory' or the 'full ghoul/half-ghoul theory'. I wanted to do something that explained everything about Hide's cannon strength and senses; so, I presented my theory. With this theory, Hide is stronger than the average human (except the ones that work out religiously) but weaker than the average ghoul (starving ones not counting). I present my 'technically not ghoul and technically not fully human but still can enjoys the joyful world of burgers'.
Kaneki decided to go back to eating ghouls, not that I blame him. Every human corpse he sees, he sees Hide's face on it. Also got to remember that Kaneki was human for 19 years.
While if Kaneki was to eat a ghoul, he wouldn't see important faces on the ghoul's body and Kaneki gets stronger! Win-win. Because Yamori will come.
(1) The reason why Kaneki said Washuu is because of publicity. They're probably are more clans like the Washuus(?) but they are not known by the general public. With only the Washuus being known for their remarkable strength, Kaneki would only think of them as an example.
(2) Hide's dad is one third ghoul this makes Hide having 3/4 human and 1/4 ghoul from his Dad. So it would be 7 against 1. That genetic box that is normally taught in biology: a person has both dominate (D) genes and recessive (R) genes. Hide's box would have most of his genes dominate (depending on what other genes the other parent passed on).
Hide's recessive genes would be the ghoul genes and whatever physical traits he did not receive. Remember the box of genetics! The ghoul's genetic is considered recessive when surrounded by human genes but on closer inspection a person could still have ghoul like characteristic. It all depends on if the genes are strong enough to beat out the other genes.
It's like hair. My mother is blond, yet she has some strands of different color in her hair. This is because even if recessive, the genes to some hair colors can be active (technically speaking all genes are active, it just depends if they are dominate). I am a brunette but I still find blond or red hair strands in my hair brush, not a lot but enough to show the wonderful science.
Onto a different note; humans and ghouls are closely related. The significant difference is the RC count. When a human's RC count gathers in one place and builds up, they develop a kagune. But humans would have to increase their RC count to keep being functional and alive (whatshisname's sister has this and is dying because of it). When this happens it is considered a disease and treated as such.
Now if both humans and ghouls have RC counts and humans can develop Kagune, can it be assumed that humans and ghouls are closely related. Humans are more related to ghouls than anything else known in the TG universe. So with that out of the way, the big question is where they separate from each other.
We can cross out Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, and Genus.
Limiting our choices to Species we are faced with another question, Superspecies, species, subspecies, and infraspecies.
Remember, humans can develop Kagune. On the scienticfic scale, I would place humans as Species with ghouls as Superspecies with humans as the generic species due to the fact that humans can develop Kagune (a ghoul characteristic). So with this in mind, ghouls and humans can procreate; and their procreated offspring (like Eto) can also have children with either spieces if she chose to.
Anyways, Kaneki and Hide will go apartment hunting next chapter.
Spoiler for upcoming chapter: Kaneki purposely wants to move into the apartment right beneath Nishio's apartment. Cue Kaneki's and Nishio's conversation after they send Kimi and Hide to get takeout.