"Guess who's back (back back) BACK AGAIN!"
Us! SURPRISE MUDAFUKAS!
Yeah, so stuff happened that sucked. We became philosophers and had PHDs, and junk. Do try and figure this out. L SORRY WE LITERALLY WERE GONE FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH!
Anyway, more explanation later, and here's a super crappy chapter 12 that wraps up the second date. We promise something more amazing will come later.
SORRY!
...
Hands latched together, the couple spent the rest of the day strolling through the beautiful little town, watching birds fly past them into their nests, and picking up flowers nonchalantly. It seemed rather fairytale-like.
It was peaceful. It was nice.
It was too nice.
Of course, who else would ruin the peace?
"Luce! Luce!" Shouted the oblivious pink haired Dragon Slayer.
The couple looked up from their meal to see Natsu with a paper in hand.
"Let's go on a job, now! Your rent is due soon, right?"
All were oblivious to the naked Rufus that had just passed them while walking in the sidewalk.
"Natsu! I'm busy!"
"With what? Rogue is just sharing he table with a you, not like he's doing anything".
Hurt felt the Rogue.
"I am sorta sharing the day with Rogue too. "
"Is he sleeping in your bed tonight too?"
"NO!"
"Luce! What about rent?"
"Already paid." The blonde points out.
"I'll buy you something."
"You don't even have any money."
His mind wanders of to the jewels he's been hiding in his house. At least Lucy doesn't know about them. She'd kill him if she knew!
"Why do you like HIM, anyway? He's so boring and bland."
Rogue narrows his eyes at Natsu.
"All those guy talks meant nothing to you?"
"Nothing Rogue", Natsu says firmly. "You're just trying to get to Lucy's fridge, but me and Happy called it a LONG time ago, so it's off limits. So is her bed, but if you want to sleep in her drawers, your free to do it".
"WHAT THE HELL HOW WOULD HE FIT-"
"Shadow-mode thing. It's one of my talents. And it's also one of Skiadrum's. He has probably already called the drawer", Rogue sighed.
"Well, Igneel likes to hang out in the microwave, Grandeeny likes the air vents, Weissologia loves the night light, and Metalicana likes her jewelry drawer and plays with with the cat-shaped earrings, so everywhere else is taken I guess, unless you want to sleep in the dishwasher-"
"WHY DO ALL THE DRAGONS HANG OUT AT MY HOUSE?"
"Because you have good leftovers and I invited everyone over after they popped out of our bodies. They only come on Tuesdays though, because that's the day you make pie."
Lucy sighed heavily, aggravated by the mess she's made.
Wait.
Hold the phone.
This isn't HER mess to deal with!
She stood, cracking her knuckles on the way.
"Natsu! So help me God, if you don't clean up this mess, I will Lucy Kick you to Galuna Island!"
Natsu whimpered, the idea of seeing the monster that had hurt his other best friend so dearly saddening him. Natsu took a seat and sat down next to the blonde.
"Lucy... but I'll miss you! You're going to spend all this time with this jerk - I mean, hey buddy..." Natsu waves in a nervous manner as Rogue just flips him off. "But then you'll start hanging out more. Then you'll hang out in bed. Then you'll have kids. Then you'll stop going on missions because you have fifty children to look after. Then you'll stop hanging out with me!"
At this point, the couple had beet red faces. However, they both had two separate reasons. One of which Lucy barely got out.
"Rogue... Again... Relationship... Sex?"
"Natsu, if Skiadrum told you that we'd have fifty babies, I will go eat his stupid butt right now. I will torture him, fry him, and eat his idiotic face of that famous pedophilia grin that he wears on his ugly body."
If this is not understood: Skiadrum = Shadow. Rogue eats shadows. Enough said.
"Mirajane said you would have fifty babies!"
"I'm going to kill her", Lucy growled.
"I meed to thank her", said a random shadow.
"What?" Everyone said.
Nothing answered.
"Let's just get out of her Rogue, Sting showed up naked, and old lady pulled out a shotgun on him, and Natsu her is implying things. Really, let's just GO".
Rogue didn't believe he didn't notice it before, but Orga is currently somehow in Mermaid Heel's town and is carrying Rufus who is knocked out and only wearing a thong, while a magic floating jar with MAGIC PUFF written on it is floating behind.
"HI GRANDEENEY!" Natsu yells at the floating jar.
The jar does a little dance, as if saying hello.
"What is that jar full of?" Rogue asked nervously.
"Grandeeney found it a couple days ago right after Wendy's birthday. I think it's weed".
"I can't even... weed? What is... what has this world come to?" Lucy asks, very confused about all of the current situations.
Natsu nodded in affirmation.
"I blame Zeref. This all has to do with his VooDoo stuff. None of this would have happened had he never been a part of our lives!" The blonde shouts angrily.
From a distance, they'll swear to the very last day of their lives that they heard Gray yell out something about it being E.N.D.'s fault as well.
"Why are they walking towards us?"
Rogue stands up after asking this question, looking at his date.
"It happens-"
"They need condoms, probably."
"How do you know what condoms are, Natsu?"
Rogue looks on, not expecting the blonde to try to answer as well.
"It happens-"
"Advertisements. Advertisements EVERYWHERE!"
"I don't think Orga is gay.." Lucy whispered while Natsu shrugs.
"Dobengal is though", Rogue tells her, while the Fairy Tail wizards gape. "I found out when he got drunk. He's a sad little ninja".
Natsu shrugs, then goes running over to where Orga and Rufus are, yelling: "ORGA WE DON'T HAVE CONDOMS THAT'S RAPE IF HE"S UNCOUSIOUS! I LEARNED THAT ON LAW AND ORDER: SVU!"
"He has T.V?" Rogue questioned.
"No. He comes to my house and floods my DVR with his shows and movies. Did you know he loves Mean Girls?" Lucy remarked. "Come on, let's go before we have charges filed on us. Happens literally every time Natsu shows up anywhere."
Rogue just nods and drags Lucy along, ignoring Orga throwing Rufus around like a rag doll while Rufus has just woken up and is like: "That lightbulg though. Look look Orga, it's like a BABY SUN. Coochie coochie coo!"
"No Rufus that is not a baby sun."
"BUT IT'S YELLOW AND BLINDING ME!"
"Well, what do you think of the date on a scale of 1-10?" Rogue asks.
Lucy sighs heavily, looking at the destruction that is Fairy Tail and Sabertooth.
"A ten. Although a few idiots decided to bother us, I met a woman from your life, and got to spend time with our friends."
"OLD LADY WOMAN! GRANDMA! LOVE ME!"
"I will kill Sting in his sleep." Rogue proclaims.
"I will kill Natsu in his sleep."
"I WILL LOVE MY ORGAAAAA-SAMMMAAA! I LOVE YOOOUUU LIIIKKKEE A LOOOOOVEEEE SOOOONG, BAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaabbbbyyyyyy!"
"Well, I'm glad this entirely void of a plan date has satisfied you."
"Thanks a lot."
"What?"
"You're making me sound like a diva", Lucy remarks.
"Well-" Rogue begins, walking down the street that would eventually lead to the train station, and then on to a horrible sickening ride back to Magnolia.
"Shut it", Lucy giggles, lightly jabbing him. "Don't take me that seriously ".
Rogue nods. "I will take that into account from now on."
"Rufus! Stop running away! No-don't. You shouldn't do that! Rufus, put your clothes back on! No, I will not catch you-don't jump! Rufus! Argh! Stop!"
The yelling of Orga could be heard in the distance, coupled by a mixture of disgusting crying and giggling from Rufus. All at the same time, mind you.
"Your teammates... they're too crazy. Fairy Tail crazy. It's unsettling."
"They... well, APPARENTLY Rufus is high and merrily gay, Orga is getting over the Robert/Yasmein debacle still, Sting is a sex addict, Yukino is getting some award in Seven, and Minerva... she just needs a friend."
Lucy decides that she'll give Minerva a hug next time they see each other. She's nice. But not innocent like me 😄 (apparently. I don't understand my classmates.).