Why Can't I Be Happy?
Chapter 12
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It took some time, but Reba soon got herself together. Brad's touch was so mesmerizing that her train of thought quickly dissipated. Her mind wrapped around the weekend to come. Even as excited as she was, her fear of being intimate with another man weighed heavily on her conscious. Brock was Reba's first and only lover. The mere thought of another guy touching and making love to her, frightened her. She started to wonder whether or not she made a mistake by agreeing to go with Brad to his cabin. As she deepened her thoughts, Cheyenne snuck her way back into the kitchen.
"Oh my gosh mom this is so exciting."
"Cheyenne it's not that big of a deal. I mean it will be just like any other date that Brad and I have had."
"Except this time you'll be waking up naked and in his arms."
"Oh gross, would you stop it. We're just going to have a nice, platonic weekend."
"Mom please!! Are you seriously telling me that you have no intentions on making love to Brad?" Reba didn't answer. She tried to make herself seem busy, fumbling with the dishes.
"Mom?"
"I don't know Cheyenne, alright. I mean part of me wants to but the other part is scared to death. Your father was the only man I've ever been with. Maybe I made a mistake by agreeing to go with Brad this weekend."
"It'll be okay. I mean it's totally normal for you to feel this way. I'd be nervous as hell myself. The only man you've ever been with walked out on you. If Van ever did that I'd be devastated. But you can at least attempt to become intimate with Brad.
"I'm just afraid that if I don't want to have sex, Brad will break up with me. Just like every man I've dated that left me because I wouldn't give it up. Sex can seriously make or break a relationship."
"Even so I still think you should go on this trip with nothing but the best intentions. Brad's a great guy mom, and whether or not your ready to be intimate with him, I'm sure he'll have no problem waiting on you. Your worth waiting for." Cheyenne hugged and kissed her mother's cheek. Reba was really touched by her daughter's words. Cheyenne had never given strong advice like that. As the day went on, Reba really thought about what Cheyenne had said. She was completely right. If Brad really loved her like he said, then he wouldn't mind waiting. Reba wanted to be sure that he was the right guy to give herself to. Sex is a very powerful thing. In her mind, sex should only be performed when two people know deep in their hearts that they are made for one another. It's a precious and sacred bond between a man and a woman, a gift that God has graciously given us; but not for mere spontaneity. This would be the first time in four years that Reba made love. She wanted it to be special with someone special.
Brock and Barbra Jean lived in silence at their now unstable home. A home that they both thought would generate love, but now holds secrets and lies. Both of them hurting, but neither of them knows. Brock's heart ache for the life he so freely destroyed and gave up. He yearned to be Reba's husband again. He could see and feel himself waking up beside her in the morning and falling asleep next to her at night. Brock mentally kicked himself, because the mistake of cheating and leaving Reba finally hit him like a ton of bricks. It hurt even more for him to know that she was moving on with another man. He couldn't believe how stupid he was to give Reba up. She was the best damn thing that had happened to him. She loved him unconditionally. She gave him everything. Reba even put his happiness ahead of her own, all for the sake of love. But that wasn't enough for him. He needed and wanted more. When Reba couldn't give him more, he went into the arms of another woman, permanently changing the lives of all who were surrounded by him.
Barbra Jean on the other hand was dying to think of ways to keep Brock from leaving her. She loved him, more so than she loved herself. Even though the way they got together wasn't perfect, she truly felt like he was her soul mate. It killed her to know that her husband was in love with another woman. A woman that she couldn't compete with. Reba was a strong, beautiful, honest, innocent, and mesmerizing woman. It would be impossible for Barbra Jean to think she could compete with that. She thought to herself. 'If Brock goes back to Reba, then what would happen to me? Or Henry?" These thoughts scared her. She had no clue what she would do if Brock left her. It was then Barbra Jean took an oath that she would do everything in her power to keep her marriage going. She would give Brock whatever he wanted, even if she wasn't happy. She was more than determined, Barbra Jean refused to let Brock go back into the arms of Reba. Whatever it took, she told herself.
As Saturday came faster and faster, Reba felt excited and nervous all at the same time. Her anticipation drove her absolutely crazy. When Friday night finally came around, Reba couldn't sleep a wink. Brad would be picking her up at about five that morning, it was a four hour drive to Silent Hills. It was about an hour before Reba's alarm clock went off for her to wake up. She couldn't take the waiting, so she got herself up and prepared herself for the trip. As it came closer and closer to the time, she sat downstairs and waited patiently. Brad was right on time. Luckily for Van and Jake, Sam would be staying for the weekend while Brad and Reba were away. Brad was all smiling faces when she opened the door. He really put her at ease.
"Ready to go?" he said excitedly while taking her bags.
"As ready as I'll ever be." As they got into the car, Reba felt her nervousness come back again. When they started driving away, Brad could see she was uneasy. So he gently placed his hand on hers.
"Everything will be fine. I promise." he said while giving her a reassuring smile. Reba could see the sincerity in his eyes, that alone aloud her to take a deep breath and relax. But just as an extra precaution she held his hand the entire time. They talked and laughed on the way there. Reba even got Brad to sing with her. His new favorite song was "Respect" by Aretha Franklin. As time went on, Reba slowly dosed off. Since she hadn't got much sleep the night before, the sandman decided to pay her a visit. Brad turned to see the sleeping red-head. He smiled and leaned over, gently kissing her forehead.
At last they had arrived. Brad softly called Reba's name to wake her up.
"What is it, are we there yet?" she said sleepily.
"Yes." Reba slowly got out the car, not even noticing the scenery. But when she took time to look, her facial expression said it all. It was beyond beautiful. The log cabin was huge. It was surrounded by nothing but trees and nature. The birds chirped happily and the bunnies hopped freely. Reba was so busy taking in everything she saw that she totally forgot about Brad. Her reaction made him extremely happy. He joined her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"So, what do you think?"
"It's so beautiful. I've never seen anything like this before."
"You deserve it Reba, and I'm just happy to be the one to give you this experience." Reba looked around a little longer before helping Brad get the bags into the cabin. Once inside, her excitement only enhanced. The cabin was even more stunning. All of the modern day facilities were in place.
"Alright here's your room Madame." The room was breathtaking. It had a huge canopy bed. A flat screen television was built into the wall. There were double doors, draped with long see through curtains. As she opened the doors, it led to a balcony. The sight was jaw dropping. Tall trees stood in abundance, while small rays of sunshine peaked through the branches. Blue Jays soared through the sky, singing a tune that could only enrich the soul. Reba then went to check out her bathroom. She could have fallen over. There was a huge spacious, Jacuzzi-like tub, with a stand in shower not too far behind. A huge mirror sat on the wall, above the shining marble counter and sink. Even the toilet had it's own beautiful effect.
Brad could see Reba's happiness with everything. Reba approached him with tears about to fill her eyes.
"Brad thank you for all of this. No one has ever given me a gift like this before."
"Don't mention it. I only want you to have the best."
"I am going to love it here."
"Well if we play our cards right, we can make this our secret getaway." He brought her into a passionate kiss. Reba really wanted to go outside and explore the area so she broke the kiss, not wanting to waste anytime.
"How about you get ready, and when your done we can go out." Reba was slightly confused when Brad walked out the room.
"Wait a minute where will you sleep, I don't want to put you out or anything."
"Reba this is your own personal room. My bedroom's on the other side. See you in a few." As he left the room, Reba's heart melted. He gave her a room to herself. Brad had took into consideration that she wasn't ready for intimacy and respected her feelings. Reba knew this weekend would run over smoothly. She quickly got ready and they made their way around the park.
Reba took pictures of everything. Every so often, Brad would ask for the camera and snap a few shots of Reba. Brad even caught a baby bunny. He picked it up and held it gently, so Reba could pet it. She thought it was so cute and didn't want to let go. So Brad wrapped the poor, defenseless animal into his jacket and Reba carried it all the way to the cabin. She named it Fluffy. Reba was going to give the animal to Elizabeth, since Van and Jake hogged Sam. They placed Fluffy in a box and placed it in Reba's room so she could keep an eye on it. After they both rested for a while, exhausted from all the walking, they decided it was time to get dinner going. Surprisingly Brad had food in the kitchen, so Reba decided to cook something special. Brad, even though he can't cook, wanted to help badly. Reba let him hand her stuff. He took the job seriously which Reba thought was cute.
It was funny because they had just as much food on their clothes as they did on their plates. But that didn't bother them. They enjoyed each other's company.
"Reba I am so glad you agreed to come here with me. I have to admit I was almost certain that you would turn me down."
"Well to be honest, I was hesitant after the fact, but I am happy with my decision to come. I've never had an experience like this before."
"Not even with Brock?"
"No, we went on small trips but nothing on this scale. Brock did though."
"Why's that?"
"He's a dentist. And every year a huge convention is held on some tropical paradise. I always wanted to go but Brock told me that I'd be bored and he'd be too busy to spend time with me. And when we finally had kids, my schedule was fully booked with no time to travel."
"Reba I don't mean to get into your business, but what made you fall for him?"
"Sparks. Back when I was in college I was dating a guy named Parker Reynolds. He was everything I wanted and more. He was smart, funny, kind, just a real overachiever. But unfortunately I didn't feel any sparks when we were together. But with Brock I felt wildfires. So I dumped Parker and started dating Brock."
"Do you regret leaving Parker for Brock?"
"Surprisingly no. I mean Brock was a good man in the beginning. He was so into me and only cared about my happiness. We loved each other deeply. But as the years went on, we had kids and he was working more. It seemed like we slowly spent less and less time together. He then had a mid-life crisis. I thought it would pass but it got worse and worse between us. Until finally one day he found happiness with someone else."
"It's amazing how you continued to move on with your life."
"Well I had to. I mean I have kids to raise and I can't stop because things didn't turn out the way I planned. I needed to be strong for my kids and eventually I found myself coping with the reality that had become my life."
"Do you think you'll ever be able to move on completely with your life?"
"Yes. I mean there will always be a part of me that loves Brock as the father of my children and as a person I share a history with. But someone else is quickly taking the love that I once held for him." she said as she placed her hand on his. He smiled to her.
"And who might that be?"
Without saying a word, Reba arose from her chair and walked over towards Brad. While still looking him in the eyes, she sat on his lap, bringing him into a kiss that would soon turn passionate.