Coney Island

5:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time

(Skipper's POV)

"Kowalski status report!" I said. "Blowhole is here," Kowalski replied. "So you have arrived on time," Blowhole said, "the eastern seaboard will be spared." "For now," I said. "Yes..it may be destroyed in the future…just not by me." "so did you finally run out of plans for today," I said. "No," Blowhole replied, "the other plans were distractions…and I to ensure you can't stop me I deployed my lastest doomsday machine an HOUR ago!" "then why is the world still intact?" I asked. "Wait for it! Wait for it…IT is taking longer then usual…" "What how do you know how long it takes a doomsday machine to destroy the world when you haven't built one that works?" Kowalski asked.

"Wait here while I see what's wrong with…wait a moment," Blowhole said, "if I go see what wrong with it you would foil my plans while you wait!" "I don't know what your talking about…" "Red one go see what's wrong with it," Blowhole said. "Right away doc," Red one replied as he walked away. "Now we just wait for the doomsday machine to work," Blowhole said. "Um Doc," Red one said, "the doomsday machine was complete destroyed." "By who?" Blowhole said. "The IPSA!" Rockgut shouted a bunch of agents behind him. "It's dangerous for you to operate while the humans are at war!" "A war that was by your design!" Nigel replied. "Ah! Super-Special Agent Nigel," Blowhole said, "long time no see." "The good news the Red Squirrel will not be able to make matters worst." "The Red Squirrel?" blowhole said, "what happened to him anyway?" "His locked up on the moon," Rockgut replied.

"Okay the doomsday machine was only the tip of the iceberg," Blowhole said. The time-ray was rolled up and destroyed by Rico's rocket launcher. "Behold the…" "ETERNITY CANNON." "You already tried that," I said. "We shall see," Blowhole replied, "Red one! Fire the…" "ETERNITY CANNON!" Red One pulled out a remote control and pushed the fire button. The Eternity cannon powered up and…Exploded. "Blast!" Blowhole replied, "any pen-gu-wins behold the…" "THE DEATH RAY 5000!" A big black gun rose out of the ground and was destroyed by rico. "Stop destroying my inventions before I get a chance to use them!"

"Behold the…" "HUMANFICATION RAY!" A strange blue gun appeared on the control panel of the scooter. Kowalski destroyed the gun with his ion cannon. "Oh come on now!" Blowhole said. "No matter now I can deployed the…" "ROBOTIFICATION RAY!" "should you have called it the robotizier?" Kowalski asked. "That one was taken," Blowhole muttered. A laser gun on wheels appeared only to get destroyed by the EMP cannon. "Red One! Ready the…" "AGING RAY!" A loud explosion could be heard in the distance. "What happened!" Blowhole shouted. Red one appeared and dropped a fossilized lobster to the ground, "We Lost Red Three." "What with the numbering system?" I asked. "Less complicated if we don't have actually names," Red One replied.

"Ready the…" "OVERSIZED ARCH ENEMY SECRET MISSILE!" "Not very secret if your firing it at us," Kowalski muttered. A large truck with a signal large missile appeared and exploded. "Why do my inventions keep exploding!" blowhole shouted. Rico laughed and lit another stick of dynamite. "Enough with the dynamite already," I said, "move on to a different explosive…Like TNT, C-4, or something!" "Ready the…" "BIG BOOM!" A large black rocket ascended from the ground only to explode. "Stop blowing up my extremely spendy inventions!" Blowhole shouted at Rico. "Stop trying to destroy the world!" I snapped. "Is he going to keep bringing fourth inventions?" "Yes," blowhole said, "Behold the…" "HURRICANE CREATOR!" "The hurricane creator?" A massively oversized fan appeared then fell over and…exploded. "Rico?" "Wasn't me," Rico replied. "Are you done yet?" "Never!"

A parade of inventions followed each more ridiculous then the last. "THE FLATTENER!" "THE BLIZZARD MACHINCE" "THE ICE RAY!" "THE MELTER!" "THE VOLCANO CREATOR!" "THE LAVA RAY!" "PROJECT: SHARKNADO!" "THE DEATHBOT!" "THE EAR DESTORYER!" "THE VASTA NERVDA ATTRACTOR!" "THE DALEKFICATION CANNON!" "THE MIND CORRUPTER!" "THE MINDDESTROYER!" "THE LEOPARD SEALFICATION GUN!" "THE SUPER-DIABOLIZER!" "Y2K!" "Y2K?" I said, "really?" "Most uncreative name ever," Kowalski said. "Do you mind I'm just getting to the best one!" "THE SUN MULITIPER!" "really?" I said looking at the crazy orange colored satelliate dish. It of course exploded to blowhole brought fourth another parade of poorly planned doomsday machines. "THE ORBITING MINDJACKER!" "THE MOON ATTRACTOR!" "THE ASTEROID MAGNET!" "PLANET ENDING METEOR MAGNET!" "THE SATELLIATE DISTURPER!" "THE INTERNET DESTROYER!" "THE MINDSMASHER!" "THE PARANOIA RAY!" "THE TORNADO GENEARATOR!"

"Are you done?" I said the ruin of everything blowhole tried to use around us. "One more!" Blowhole said, "behold the…" "ENDLESS WAR BEAM!" "The endless war beam?" I said. "The endless war beam?" rockgut said. "how does that work exactly," Nigel said. " it makes the nations of the world be unable to do anything but fight wars!" "so turn everyone into sontarians basically," I said. "no," blowhole said, "then it would be call the sontarianfication ray…somebody write that down!" "this won't work," I said. "for course it will work now fire the…" "ENDLESS WAR BEAM!" the Endless War Beam sparked with energy but before it could fire rico destroyed it with a carefully timed RPG. "What! No!" Blowhole said, "that was my greatest idea!" "Have and more brilliant idea?" I mocked. "You may have on these battle!" Blowhole said, "but I will return pen-gu-wins with an even worst plan!" "We look forward to it," I mocked. "Farewell pen-gu-wins!" Blowhole said as he fled with his army of lobsters. "So that was interesting," Rockgut said as he left. "I see your back in buiness," Nigel said as he left with the IPSA.

"So now what?" Private asked. "we return to the zoo," I said, "who wants a victory snow cone!" "I do!" Kowalski said. "Yeah!" "so we win!" Private said. "Yes just …let's not get too cocky again," I replied. "Yeah…we could fall again," Kowalski said, "further then we ever fallen before." "Or we could rise…higher then we ever risen before." "Or we could rise higher then we ever risen before the fall further then we ever fallen before." "Yes Kowalski," I said, 'but I didn't want Private to hear that." "sorry Kowalski can be a bit of a downer," I said. "Are you breaking the fourth wall!" Kowalski asked. "Um…no," I said. "Then i guess your just talking to yourself…" Private said. "Fine I was breaking the fourth wall…" "I knew it!" Kowalski said, "you owe me two snow cones!" "fine," I said, "but don't take two long with the chosing of the flavors!" "should I do two flavors that are familiar like raspberry or lemon or should I go with something adventurous like passionfruit or durian…" "Don't bring up those things in conversations ever again," I shouted. "what durians?" "Yes durians," I replied, "Just pick two flavor already…when doubt go with rainbow snowcones…it has multiple flavors and looks like a clown's hair!" "Prefect let's go!" Ringtail said. "Ringtail…" "Hurry penguins before the snow cones melt!" "Fine," I said, "and this time there will be no wild marlene to ruin it." "imagine if we had to deal with wild marlene at night." "I shudder just thinking about it," Julian said. "Let's just go!" I said.

The End