A/N- This chapter is a little all over the place, but it all falls together. I promise. Clothing is important. So, with the link below, add the "h" before the "ttp" and take out the spaces after the periods. As always, thank you for reading, I love you guys LOTS, and please know that your reviews and feedback are love. Enjoy you guys!
Rachel-Quinn-Judy/Oufits
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Rachel Berry was wanted to die. Her eyes were stinging, red and so puffy, she was sure they would be like that for hours. Her head had a pain moving through it, one that she wished she never had to experience. It was worse then any headache, or migraine that she had ever felt.
It was almost time for her to start getting ready for the night, but as far as she was concerned, it wasn't going to happen. Her phone was turned off, her door was locked, and her bed was the only place she wanted to be for the rest of the night. She'd messed up, and she knew she had. When Quinn told her they were having lunch with her Mother, she was nervous, but she was also very excited. It wasn't just that she had liked Judy from the moment she met her, or that Judy liked her so much, that she wanted to see her again. She was nervous because it was Quinn's Mother. Quinn, who she was falling hard for. Quinn, who was holding her heart in her hands. She was mentally kicking herself. The lunch would have gone so much smoother if only she had kept her mouth shut.
Earlier that day...
Rachel was nervously waiting on 47th street. She was standing outside of the restaurant Quinn had told her to meet her and Judy at. It was called Blue Fin. She wasn't angry or at all frustrated that she was waiting. She was early, and she knew that. Her nerves were all over the place. It was a wonder she hadn't dropped the bouquet of red roses she was holding. However, she couldn't do anything to mess the flowers up in any way. They were for Quinn's mother, and she'd put a lot of thought behind the gesture. Asking Quinn what Judy's favorite flowers were had been the easiest part. Finding out why red roses were her flower of choice was a different story. She hadn't planned on getting such a complex answer. Judy's least favorite color was red. It reminded her of anger, which took her mind to her Ex husband, Quinn's Father, Russell. When he was angry, and out of his mind with fury, he'd mention how he saw red. Apparently, he'd used the expression too often, and it had become apart of the terror that Quinn and Judy had to deal with on a daily basis. Judy had always loved Roses, but the color was where it got complicated. Russell always got the color wrong. He'd bring her roses all the time, as an effort to make up for his violence. Never red. Yellow, pink, and for some reason more then any other color, white. Never red. Judy had found it somewhat ironic since she hated the phrase in question, and over time, had grown to hate her husband. After the divorce, she decided that her new favorite flower would be the red rose. Not only had Rachel fallen in love with the reasoning, but she was touched that her lover was comfortable sharing such a personal detail about her Mother. After hearing the story, she felt it necessary to go out, and buy a nice fresh bouquet of red roses.
As Rachel stood waiting, she looked down at her shoes. She had struggled a lot with her outfit, but for some reason she was overly concerned about her shoes. Before she had driven herself into frustration by over thinking the footwear, she decided to just chalk it up to nerves. She was looking for a place to put all her nervous, and for some reason, she was taking it out on her shoes.
"God damn it", she mumbled to herself."Why did I agree to this?"
She was seconds away from ducking out, when she heard Quinn's voice, and looked up.
"Hey, there's my girl", she smiled, as she approached. Her mother, not two or three steps behind her."You look so nice, baby."
"Thank you, but you look better", said Rachel. Quinn leaned in for a kiss, and Rachel almost freaked out. Her mother was standing right there. Before Quinn's lips go to Rachel's, the tiny woman moved her head, so that she ended up getting a kiss on the cheek.
"Hi Judy, it's very nice to see you again", she laughed, nervously. Quinn was confused about the kiss, but giggled once she realized how nervous her little lover was."I...I brought these for you."
"Oh, how beautiful", beamed the older woman, as she took the roses from Rachel."Thank you so much, sweetie."
After they had gone inside, confirmed their reservation, and gotten seated, Rachel was slightly at ease. Judy loving the roses had helped a great deal, but she wasn't off the hook just yet. She felt like the spotlight was on her, and in any other situation, she wouldn't have minded.
"So, Rachel...Quinny tells me that you're very good at what you do. Have you been modeling for long?"
Quinn wanted to laugh, but she didn't. She managed to keep her amusement at bay with a small smirk. Rachel on the other hand wanted to kick the younger of the blonds under the table. She would have, but she didn't want to risk kicking the wrong person.
"Actually...no I haven't."
"Well, I can't imagine it's a very easy career. Now, stop me if I'm being rude, but I was under the impression that to be a model you had to be tall, and leggy", giggled Judy.
"Mom, be nice", warned Quinn.
"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to insult you dear."
"Oh no, you didn't. I mean anybody could assume the same", said Rachel."I'm no runway model, but I do know how to...strike a decent pose now and again."
"Very nice, dear. Now, if you don't mind me asking, what made you decide on modeling? Did you do a lot of it growing up", questioned the older woman. Rachel liked Judy. Her curiosity was adorable, and for some reason it was heart warming. She wanted to answer her question, but she couldn't answer truly. After all, modeling wasn't exactly how she earned her living. She decided to just be honest about her job. She'd describe how she felt about her job. All the while, letting Quinn's mother think she was talking about modeling.
"I grew up in a very small town, and unfortunately, the minds of most people living there...matched the size of our little community", she laughed."Growing up with two Dads really taught me a few things."
"Two fathers, that sounds interesting", smiled Judy.
Quinn was in a comfort zone for sure. As she sat watching her Mother and Rachel talk back and forth, she mentally celebrated. It was going better then she thought it would, and she couldn't believe how much Judy wanted to know about Rachel. An hour later, the three of them were still having a fantastic time, so Quinn was sure nothing could spoil their lunch.
"It's funny really", Judy was saying, as she sipped her wine."While Quinny was growing up, I never really knew what it was she wanted to do. I'd ask her all the time, but she never did give a real answer."
"Mom...",giggled Quinn."What are you talking about? You knew it was either photography or acting."
"Acting", asked Rachel."Wow, I never would have guessed that about you."
"If you were in my position, you would have. I've raised a little drama queen, that's for darn sure."
Rachel smiled, and nudged the blond with her elbow."Your mother is my new best friend, and I don't care if you don't like it."
"Whatever", said Quinn, rolling her eyes."I wasn't a drama queen."
"Are you kidding me? You were head cheerleader, and students feared you. Rachel, I cannot tell you just how many phone calls I'd get a weekly basis from parents of kids that Quinn tortured at school. Of course, I didn't wanna' believe it back then, and I covered for my little angel."
"Oh please", snorted the younger blond, looking at her lover."She thinks I was a drama queen7, maybe we should introduce her to Sugar."
"Oh no way, I wouldn't dare put her through that headache."
"You two know somebody named, Sugar", questioned Judy.
"Yeah...she's another...model that I work with", said Rachel."She's the type of person that doesn't need extra energy, yet insists on using extra energy."
"Ouch, that does sound like a headache", giggled Judy."I really do admire you, Rachel. I love that you girls get out into the world and do what you want. You both have good heads on your shoulders."
"That's very sweet, Judy...thank you", smiled Rachel.
"It's just so hard to think about these other young women who get sucked into drugs, and alcohol. That usually leads to stripping, or prostitution, and most girls are just too good for that. It's just shame", said Judy sadly.
"A shame", asked Rachel.
Quinn didn't feel good all of the sudden.
"Yes, a real shame. I mean I know sometimes girls get into things like that because they believe it will make them lots of money, but they don't think about how trashy it really is. There are so many other things they could be doing for money, yet they choose laying on their backs for a living."
"Mom, I think we should talk about something else. This isn't a very good lunch conversation", said Quinn, nervously.
"No", smiled Rachel."I'd love to hear what else your mother thinks about girls who have sex for a living."
"Well, there isn't much more to say. It's not something that's respectable, no matter how much money those little whores make."
"Mom", snapped Quinn.
"You know Judy, I think you should rethink that a little bit. I mean, I agree...some younger girls get in with the wrong people, and end up on street corners selling themselves for very little. On the other hand, some girls know what they're doing and manage to make an excellent living", said Rachel, still maintaining a very polite tone.
"Hmm, I don't know about that, dear. Sure, I understand that some girls manage to classify themselves as high class, and charge a ridiculous amount of money for sex. Honestly, I don't know what is more ridiculous. The amount of money they charge, or the sorry perverts who actually pay that amount. It's all just very unsettling to me."
"Oh my god...Mom...", warned Quinn."Enough, seriously."
"It's not ridiculous. Sex is meant to make people feel good, so there is nothing wrong with making a living using it. As long as it's done tastefully, and safely", argued Rachel. It was clear she was getting a little fed up with the things Judy was saying.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you felt so strongly about this, Rachel. Maybe we should talk about something else", said Judy, with a smile.
"Yeah, maybe we should", said Rachel, with some bite."Clearly you don't know enough about certain things, so maybe you shouldn't talk about those things."
"Ouch...Rachel. Really",asked Quinn."You don't have to be like that...".
"What am I supposed to be like?"
"I don't really know, but not like that. Maybe you should step outside, and get some air", suggested Quinn."You're a little worked up."
"You know what, I'm full", said Rachel, standing up, and grabbing her purse."Judy, it was nice seeing you again."
"Oh dear. I've upset you. Honey, you don't have to leave, I'm sorry", said Judy, sadly."Come on, sit down. We can talk about something else."
"No thank you, I'm fine. Enjoy the rest of your day."
That being said, Rachel turned and stormed away from the table. She managed to get outside, and a few steps down the street before Quinn caught up with her. She grabbed her by the arm, and spun her around.
"What the Hell do you think you're doing, Rachel?"
"Leaving."
"Listen baby, I get why you're so upset, but that is my Mother. She has no idea how I really met you, or what it is that you do for a living."
"What's your damn point?"
"Are you kidding me? Cut her some slack! She obviously wasn't trying to offend you! How is she to know the things she was saying were somewhat insulting to you?"
Rachel knew Quinn was making sense, but she was still so angry. She didn't want to be there any longer, and didn't care how Quinn or Judy felt at that point. She felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to scream, yet she wanted to break down and cry. She wanted to slap Quinn across the face, yet she wanted to be in her arms.
"Quinn, I'm going. I'm sorry, but maybe this was a mistake."
"A mistake?"
"Yeah, a huge one", said Rachel, her voice breaking.
"You are just talking about this lunch, right", asked Quinn. She was a little shocked. She didn't like Rachel's tone, or the fact that it was taking so long for Rachel to answer her."Right?"
"I'm going. I'll...see you later...".
Quinn just watched as the love of her life walked away. She felt like vomiting. Of course before the lunch, she'd thought about a million different things would go wrong. however, what had just happened never even crossed her mind.
What the Hell...did I just loose her?
Back in Rachel's room...
"Fuck...",she mumbled to herself. She wasn't sure how to feel at that point. All she wanted to do was sleep, but she knew she'd need to get up soon. She did have a job to do after all. She needed to feel better. She needed to find something to get her through the rest of the night. She rolled onto her left side, and started messing around on her computer. She wanted to listen to some music, but she got an idea. She thought maybe the words of her favorite blogger would make her feel just a little better. She went to the page she needed to go to, and sure enough, it was updated just a few hours before.
"I can remember when I was younger, there were a few times I felt infinite. Like nothing could touch me. Like nobody could hurt me. I felt like my heart beat would last until the sun burned out. It was one of the best feelings I ever got to feel. I remember feeling it when I heard one of my favorite songs for the first time. I won't say what the song is, because I want people to get their own idea of what this feeling is. Just think of when you heard one of the best songs you've ever heard for the very first time. Think about the music, the melody and beat. Really try to remember what it was like to hear lyrics that let you know how you're feeling before you even knew you felt it. I'm willing to bet that your heart beat went with the beat of that song. I'll put my life on that. Try to tell me that you didn't feel like crying your eyes out. Try to deny that it felt like you were falling head over heels in love. When you hear the the voice of whoever it is that sings that song, it feels like you're getting hugged. Not even a simple hug. One of those, end of a horrible day, feel like crying and giving up, but then the perfect hug from the perfect person comes along. That kind of hug. It's so warm, so inviting, and so soothing. Those are the voices that make music so special, and so easy to relate to. Even if it makes you sad, it's so important to let yourself feel it. If that music makes you feel like crying and being sad for even just a little while, let it. If the music makes you feel like flying, let it. If the music makes you feel infinite, and indestructible...let it. You know why? Because it's scary, and sometimes that fear gives you the will to live. To live like you have never lived before. Take advantage of it, I promise...you will feel something that you have never felt before. Even if only for a moment, it's worth it. Let go, and feel whatever feelings your mind is begging to feel. I might not feel right at first, but if you give it a chance, eventually that peace may find you. Remember, every situation, every feeling, every single time something happens to you, bad or good, it's a story to tell. Every emotion is another song to sing. This may seem impossible to you, but I think there is a song for every feeling. Again, I know crazy that sounds, but if you really think about it, trust me, it's true. I've managed to find a song for everything. If you haven't done so already, give a try. If you need help, tell me. I'm here to help you...".
"Oh my God...", sobbed Rachel, as she sat up. She was almost sad that the entry had ended. It was so easy to get lost in the girl's words. She pulled her laptop into her lap, and clicked to comment.
"You always manage to speak to my heart. I think I need your help. I made a mistake, and it's killing me. I let my pride show too much, and I hurt somebody that I'm in love with. The thing is, I never meant to fall in love. When I'm around her I feel almost high, she's like a drug. My feelings for her are so strong, that I'm scared. I'm afraid that I'll mess it up, or worse that I won't mess it up, and things will change. My life as I know it will be turned around. It's been the same for so long, and I'd be lying if I said that change didn't freak me out. I think I'm trying to sabotage things, my mind is telling me to run and hide, but my heart...totally different story. You always talk about Christine from Phantom. In a weird way, I feel like her right now. I have to choose between the love I have for my life, and the new love I feel for this absolutely perfect woman. Please tell me you have a song for that...".
Rachel had often commented on the blogger's posts, but had never really gotten a response. She didn't expect one this time, but she had to take a chance. She was desperate, so she felt no harm in asking a complete stranger for advice. When she was done typing, she grabbed her phone from the bedside table, and turned it on. She dozens of texts and voice mails, some from Quinn. She didn't care at the moment. She needed time to clear her head. She wasn't playing fair, and she knew she wasn't. She felt horrible, leaving Quinn and her mother the way she did. Saying the things she said. Acting the way she did. It all rested on her, but she just wasn't ready to do the adult thing. Not yet.
Eventually, she forced herself to get out of her bed, and into the shower. Dealing with clients that night wasn't something she really wanted to do, but she didn't have a choice.
Meanwhile, in another part of town, Santana had forced Quinn to go with her on her outing. They were riding in Santana's private car. She was busy trying to figure out if her driver needed to be replaced or not, when she tuned into her company.
"Just so you know, I was trying to catch up on something really important at work, and deal with my Mother calling me every ten minutes. Not a good day for me, or for whatever it is that you needed me for. Tell me it won't be like this all the time, Santana", Quinn was saying, her tone dripping with annoyance.
"Be like what", asked Santana, with a roll of her eyes.
"I agreed to work for you, and I do want to, but I have a career. One that I'm very fond of, and I can't always drop everything I'm doing just to be at you beck and call."
"Bitch please", snorted Santana."You know I own you, don't even try to deny it. Jesus, who pissed in your cheerios this morning?"
"That's disgusting! Why do you have to put it like that?"
"Oh my God", laughed the Latina."You need to lighten up! It can't seriously bother you that much!"
"Santana, you asked me who pissed in my cereal, my answer to that would be, Rachel. So by all accounts, I just told you that Rachel took a piss in my breakfast. That image probably won't leave my head for the rest of the damn day!"
Santana just continued to laugh uncontrollably. She couldn't help it. Eventually Quinn had no choice but to smile, and shake her head."I hate you."
"No you don't. You know damn well you need to relax."
"Look who's telling me to relax...", sneered Quinn."The Queen of anxiety over here."
"But I feel fine right now. I can't help it...I'm out of my damn bed, and away from the Playground. That's enough to make anyone chill out."
Quinn squinted at Santana. She didn't know her very well yet, but she knew she was bluffing. There was no way she was in the mood she was in without a little extra help."You smoked pot today, didn't you?"
"Oh fuck you", she snapped, with a huge smile on her face."How the Hell did you know that?"
"Don't underestimate me", smirked Quinn."I got your number, Boss Lady."
"Oh yeah? Well I'm having it changed."
The two of them laughed, as the car made it's way through the very slow moving traffic. It was a weird moment for the both of them. Santana was slightly annoyed with that fact that she was enjoying Quinn's company. She didn't want to be, but it seemed she didn't have a choice. She only joked around with people like that when she liked them. Deep down inside, she was aware that she didn't hate the woman as much as she stressed. However, there was no way she was ever going to let that out. Quinn on the other hand was upset. She liked being around Santana, but she knew the Latina didn't really like her. She felt like she was being played at the moment, but chose not to address it.
"I thought you hated drugs?"
"I do. I hate real drugs. Pot is just a plant, and as much as I despise burn outs, who smoke on a daily basis...I have to admit...it helps. That being said, make no mistake, I don't smoke the shit on a regular basis. I just knew it would help me get through the day."
"I see."
"You need to smoke some, because clearly, you're having a shitty day", giggled Santana."What's your issue?" Quinn just closed her eyes, and rested her head on the seat."Come on spill. It wouldn't have anything to do with Rachel pouting and shutting the world out all afternoon, would it?"
"I don't feel like talking about this, Santana."
"Yeah, I thought it might have something to do with that."
"Will you please just drop it", asked Quinn, in a desperate whine tone. Where are we going anyways?"
"You'll see when we get there. When we're done, I need you back at the club. We have some things to discuss in terms of recruiting some new employees."
"No, Santana I can't. Rachel doesn't want to be anywhere near me right now", argued the blond.
"I don't give a shit, Newbie...you should have thought about that before you agreed to work for me. You're gonna' have to learn how to keep Playground work, and whatever it is that you and Rachel are doing, separate. I'm warning you right now, if you do anything to fucks with my top girl, you will be sorry. I don't need your issues with each other getting in the way of her doing her job. Got that?"
"Yes, fine", breathed Quinn."I got it."
She wanted to see Rachel more then anything, but she knew the feeling wasn't mutual. She also knew that she hadn't really done anything wrong, but it didn't matter. She would deal with her tiny lover's irrational behavior for the time being.
Once they finally arrived at their destination, Santana instructed her driver to wait down the block.
"Why do you have a driver? I thought you owned a car", questioned Quinn, as the two of them entered a building, and headed down the hallway.
"I do own a car, but I'm fabulous in so many different ways. It's only fair I get treated like royalty, don't deny it...".
"Good lord, Santana. I mean, how do you manage to look in the mirror without wanting to make out with yourself", Quinn asked, sarcastically.
"I've thought about it", she joked."Honestly, I just like the luxury of not having to drive all the time."
"And what better time to use that luxury...I can only assume driving through the frustration that is NYC traffic stresses you out to no end."
"You assume correctly", she answered, as the two of them came to an office door. Santana approached a woman sitting behind a rather large desk, reading a book. When she who was walking towards her, she slammed the book shut, and was on her feet in no time.
"Ms. Lopez...", she said nervously."I think Ms. Jones is busy. Was she expecting you?"
"No, she wasn't. I didn't even call. Relax, Marley, God every time I'm here you act like I'm gonna' beat you down or something."
"I'm sorry, I...you just...I mean", the girl stuttered.
"It's okay, Hun", said Quinn."She scares me too sometimes." She added wink, and Marley smiled shyly. Before anything else was said, the very person Santana was there to see came from her office.
"Santana, leave Marley alone."
"Oh my god, Mercedes I haven't said a word, she's freaking out for no reason", defended Santana.
"What ever, girl. We need to talk. Come on in."
Before Santana went towards Mercedes office, she quickly turned to Marley."Boo!"
"Oh God...", she whimpered, backing away.
"Santana...really", asked Quinn.
"I'm so sorry", she laughed."I couldn't resist. Marley, I'm sorry. Relax sweetie, I won't mess you again."
Marley smiled nervously, and sat back down. Santana and Quinn made their way into Mercedes office, and sat down in front of her desk. Once the door was closed, Mercedes took a seat at her desk."What the Hell is the matter with you, girl? You're in a good mood...obviously being sick does wonders for your personality...".
"No, being high does wonders for her", snorted Quinn. She immediately received an elbow to the ribcage."Ouch! My God...".
"Oh no you did not", snapped Mercedes."You came to my rehab clinic high? What is the matter with you, girl?"
"Oh my God, I smoked a joint this morning. It's not like a hit the crack pipe!"
"I don't give a shit, Santana! This is a rehab facility! That will not happen again, you hear me?"
"Oh God", she laughed."Fine. Quinn you're fucking grounded."
Quinn simply rolled her eyes.
"So your name is Quinn? Good to know, I was just about to ask your name, since Santana is a rude ass."
"My bad. Mercedes, this is Quinn Fabray, she's recently started working for me at the Playground. Quinn, this is Mercedes Jones. If any of my babies get addicted to drugs, I send them to her, because she is the best."
"Damn right baby, I am. Quinn, it's nice to meet you. God be with you, I know working for this bitch ain't no easy task."
"It's nice to meet you as well, and thank you. Believe it or not, I'm already used to her. She grew on me a little too fast, if you know what I mean."
"Girl", laughed the darker woman."I know what you mean. I bet you feel like you've been mentally raped somehow...".
"God, that is the perfect way to describe it! She moves quick, I didn't even have time to blow my mental rape whistle!"
Mercedes burst into laughter."I like you, girl!"
"Whatever", snorted Santana. Even she had to laugh just a little."Listen, can we get down to why I'm here, Damn it? You gonna' let me see my Tina, or what...".
Suddenly, Mercedes' laughter came to a quick stop, and she took a deep breath."About that."
"Uh-oh...", mumbled Quinn.
"Santana, she ain't here anymore."
"Excuse me", asked Santana."What the Hell do you mean she isn't here? Where the Hell else would she be?"
"You need to relax...", warned Quinn.
"Relax nothing! Mercedes start talking!" She was sitting on the edge of her seat, and really wanting to punch something.
"I'll tell you as soon as you chill out!"
"Oh...my...God", growled the Latina. She wasn't getting answers unless she complied and she knew that. Mercedes Jones didn't mess around. Especially when it came to people's health. Santana took a a few deep breathes, and tried her best to just calm down."Okay. I'm settled. Tell me."
"She vanished two days ago."
"You told me she was making actual progress", said Quinn, through her teeth."Were you lying to me?"
"Of course I wasn't lying to you. She was making progress. I'm in shock that she left, she could have made it."
"So if she left two days ago, why am I just now finding out, Mercedes?"
"I heard what happened to you, I didn't wanna' freak you out, and get you're heart pumpin'. To be honest, I was gonna' call you at the end of this week."
"Mother fucker!"
"Calm down...", said Quinn. She was trying to be bossy, she wasn't the boss after all. She was trying to give a friendly reminder."I know it's hard for you, but please just try." Santana just closed her eyes, and took another breath.
"I've tried calling, but her cellphone is cut off. There was no address written in her forms, and I'm guessing that's because she lived at the Playground. Her emergency contact was you, and there was a secondary emergency contact listed. She had one visitor, while she was here. It was Mike, and I don't have his information."
Santana wanted to cry. Of course, she was covering it up by letting her anger surface first and foremost. However, she was sad. She did care about Tina, and the guilt of humiliating her in front of everybody had been eating away at her ever since. Just like that, her happy little high was gone.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I've gone through Hell trying to figure out how to find her, but I can't. My hands are tied. Just to let you know, I did spend a lot of my time yesterday trying to figure something out because I know how much she means to you. But...I came up short. Girl...I really am sorry."
"It's alright", said Santana, calmly."I'll find her, and I'll drag her sorry ass back here."
"Just keep in mind...she was doing good. She had a rough start, but she pulled it together. I'm not even totally sure she left on a bad note. She did hate some of our rules."
"Of course she hated the rules. They are a lot different then my rules, I'm sure", said the Latina."She doesn't like rules in general though, so I guess it doesn't matter either way."
"Wait", said Quinn, thoughtfully."Are we talking about the girl that was dating one of the boys from the Playground? Are these the people you fired for lying?"
"Yeah, that straight fuck", snapped Santana."I'd let Tina come back if she could prove herself, but that bastard Mike...he's done. He's lucky I didn't kill him."
"Well just wait a minute. Mercedes, by any chance...was one of your rules that she couldn't have any physical contact with him", questioned the blond.
"In a way. There is no sex allowed. Our residents are allowed to have visitors for one hour a day. I made an exception for her, and gave her two. However, they were not allowed to be alone together. They were to meet in the common visitor area."
"There's the problem right there", laughed Quinn."You wouldn't let a girl who has sex for a living do what she knows best. I'm not insulting your method at all, so please don't think that I am. I'm only saying...she has to be with him somewhere. Find him, you find her."
"You think she left all because she wasn't allowed sex", asked Mercedes."Are you kidding me?"
"Yeah...I run a sex playground, and that even sounds nuts to me", said Santana.
"I'm telling you. I know when a person leaves rehab you automatically assume it's because they miss the drugs. It's a fair assumption, however...if she was making progress, you have to keep in mind that she might have left for a different reason. Even if it was just for physical contact", said Quinn.
"Alright, I'll run with that", said Mercedes."It does sound a little crazy, but...I won't doubt you, girl."
Santana looked at Quinn. She knew the woman was smart, but she didn't think she'd have much of an input on the situation at hand."Wow, I'm actually really glad you work for me right now. But...I'm sure that will change like an hour from now."
"Was that supposed to be a compliment", asked Mercedes.
"Probably", laughed Quinn.
"Take it or leave it, bitch", laughed Santana."Alright, well I don't hate you, Mercedes. I'm pissed that you didn't tell me, but I'm not mad. I'll find her."
The rest of their visit went smoothly, without Santana flying off the handle. Sure, she had gotten bad news, and somebody that she cared about was missing. However, she did learn that Quinn was useful in more then just one way. She hated it, and loved it at the same time, but she would be milking it for all it was worth.
Later that night, when the Playground was in full swing, Rachel was getting ready to meet with her second client of the night. She was standing at the bar, waiting for a shot, when the client came up behind her.
"Hey, there's my little whore...". The woman wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, and pulled her close. She pressed her lips against her neck a few times."Are you ready for me, baby?"
Rachel got a shiver down her spine."I'm ready if you are, Cassandra."
"Good, you better be. I'll be in our private room. Bring me my usual", answered the woman, as she strolled off.
Rachel just rolled her eyes, and kept her attention on the bar. Alyson hurried over, and handed the tiny woman a full shot glass."Star, are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"I dunno'...you look super sad. You sure you can handle that lady? I've been feeding her Whiskey Sours for the passed hour. And, to be honest she seems like she's got a mean case of Crazy Bitch...".
"You're new here, so I understand your confusion, Sage. Cassandra is a special one. You have no idea...", said Rachel."Thank you for the concern, but I'll be just fine."
"Alright, well I needed to ask. I gotta' stick by my fellow short chicks, you hear me? New girl got your back, woman."
Rachel laughed a little."Thank you, Sage."
The equally short woman just winked, and stepped away to tend to another thirsty customer. Fifteen minutes later, Rachel was naked, on her knees in front of Cassandra. It was a familiar to her. Cassandra loved to humiliate her sexual partners.
"Let me here you plead, Star...", Cassandra was saying."Do it you pathetic little bitch!"
Rachel always felt so low with Cassandra. The woman's needs were so much to handle, but she took it. She dealt with it. That was part of her job. Cassandra was a big spender, and for some reason she loved to torture Rachel more then anybody else in the Playground."I want you to tell me just how much I disgust you, Cassie. I make you fucking sick, but please...please give it to me. Teach me a lesson."
"I am gonna' teach you a fucking lesson, Star. You will never ever forget it either", she growled."Do you hear me, bitch?"
"I hear you loud and clear."
"You better fucking hear me. Stand up", she demanded.
Rachel got into her feet as fast as she could, only to be thrown onto the bed with strong force. She breathed out as she felt the weight of Cassandra on top of her. As she endured the teeth sinking into the flesh of her neck, she thought of Quinn. She couldn't help it. Quinn wasn't into the same things her current client was, so why she was thinking about her was a mystery."Beg me...you stupid little girl."
"Baby...punish me for not being worthy of your pleasure...", Rachel moaned."Fuck the disobedience out of me...".
Tears were streaming from her eyes. It stung. She'd cried with Cassandra before, because she knew the woman liked it. She'd known how to cry real tears, even if they were forced. This was different. Sure, she was playing to her client's pleasure, but her tears were from her heart. She missed Quinn, and this particular client was bringing out feelings Rachel had been hiding for years.
"Your tears are fucking pathetic, Star. You should be ashamed of yourself", moaned Cassandra, as she pushed two fingers inside of the tiny woman."You're so fucking weak."
"I am...that's what you do to me. I'm yours...".
"You know you want it from me...you little slut...beg for it like the pathetic little bitch you are."
"Please...begged Rachel, through her tears."Love me like I love you...please don't leave me...I need you. Please love me like I love you...please...".
Cassandra started pump her fingers in and out of Rachel, hard and slow. Rachel was scaring herself with the words she was screaming. Cassandra was loving it, but she had no idea that Rachel wasn't thinking about her.
"If I left you...you'd be fucking lost with out me. Now you better cum hard for me, Star. If you don't...you'll be so sorry...", she growled, pumping faster, and faster. She grabbed a handful of Rachel's hair, and pulled."Cum Star! Now!"
Rachel dug her nails into Cassandra's back, arching her own back from the bed, and cried out as loud as she could. She was breathing so heavy, it almost hurt, and the tears wouldn't stop. She cried, and cried as she climaxed. It was all so confusing, she had no idea what the Hell was happening to her. She wanted to scream, but she didn't. She just cried.
"You really are pathetic...but luckily pathetic looks sexy on you", breathed Cassandra."My little Star...".
An hour later, Rachel was back in her own room. She was thankful that her third client of the night had been a no show. Cassandra had been her second of the night, and she hated it. She was used to the woman's dominant behavior, but she still hated. For some reason that night, it had really gotten to her. Sure, she cried for the woman all the time, but this was different. Cassandra had said My Little Star....and there was only one person Rachel wanted to hear that from. The stress of the day, and the overwhelming power of her feelings were both game changers. She'd seen Quinn in the bar after Cassandra was done with her. She was sitting with Santana, obviously busy discussing Playground issues. She had stood idly by, waiting for her lover to notice her. Quinn hadn't looked her way once. It made her feel crazy. Maybe, just maybe if she had felt Quinn's lack of notice before she'd been whit Cassandra, she would have felt differently. That wasn't the case. In the time that she'd become one of the Playground employees, she'd forced a harsh truth upon herself. A truth that hurt, but as painful as it was, she knew it was important. Whatever feelings were felt, pushing them aside was the right thing to do. She believed and trusted that with everything. Until she'd met Quinn. It was the very first time she'd ever thought about another client while being with a different client. She knew it had to have meant something. She hated the feeling. It wasn't familiar, not in the least. She'd been going along with it, but was never fully comfortable with it. For the first time, in a long time, Rachel Berry was at a loss.
It was six o'clock in the morning. She was tired,. Mentally and physically. She'd taken a a very short shower, gotten into her pajamas, and curled into bed. She checked her phone, as she usually did before she slept. She had some texts. Most of them were from Quinn, but she couldn't even bring herself to read them. Ignoring her text inbox, she went to her emails. She looked through the spam, and the junk mail, before she found the message she had secretly been hoping for. A notification that her favorite blogger had replied to her comment.
"No way...", she mumbled to herself, before sitting up and grabbing her laptop. She wasted no time going into a certain site, and clicking on her in-box.
"You are so Effing heart sick. I don't know you, but I can tell that your heart is sick. I'm sorry for how you feel right now. Your feelings are at war with each other, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. You're not wrong to compare yourself to Christine. I love it...I'm so in love with you being able to compare your feelings to hers. I do have a song for you, but first I need you to know something. Your conflict isn't just Christine's conflict. You're able to relate to the Phantom too. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it's what I see. In the end, Christine sees the Phantom for who he is. She finally feels the emotions that he holds in his heart, and understands. Picture yourself as the Phantom, and picture the person you've fallen for as Christine. He makes his demands, he wants her love or Raoul's death. Raoul being the other love. She has to choose. Yet, she makes this epic choice. She sticks with the one love, yet she is able to show the other love just how much she appreciates it. She kisses the Phantom. She finally understands what he feels, and she kisses him. Close your eyes. Picture you as the Phantom. Picture it all. If you can imagine her kissing you, choosing you...she's the love to choose. You need to give the new love a chance...otherwise you'll never know. And even if it hurts, it's pain you need to feel. I have faith in you, please don't forget that. The song is 'Please Don't Leave Me' and it's by Pink. Keep in mind, the song may make you feel things that you don't want to feel. Let yourself feel that, even if it hurts. I promise you the pain won't last forever."
Rachel had started to cry halfway through reading. She was loving the words and fully prepared to listen to the song that was suggested to her. She wiped some stray tears from her eyes, and went to YouTube. She typed in the name of the song, did some clicking, and found herself lost in the music. She related to the song, and the blogger was right. She was feeling things that she wasn't ready to feel.
"Quinn...", she whimpered, as she listens to the song."I'm so sorry...".
Thanks for reading guys, I really hope you liked it, I'll try to update sooner next time.