Why can't I be happy?
Chapter 17
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The car ride to Brad's house was a silent and somber one. Reba was filled with so many mixed emotions. Though her marriage with Brock didn't last, she always knew in her heart that he would always in some way be apart of her life, not only because of the kids but their friendship. As time progressed after the divorce, Reba and Brock were still able to rekindle their lifelong friendship. Now he would be completely out of her life. Reba wondered if she had done the right thing by telling him to go away forever.
For Reba, the process of getting rid of the love and devotion she felt for Brock was a hard task. There were times when she would see him and want to grab him by his collar and kiss him with all her strength and passion. But these thoughts would quickly bury themselves when the one thing standing in her way came walking in her life, Barbra Jean. Reba had worked endlessly at removing those old feelings. But when Brock told her that he still loved her, she couldn't help wanting to be happy about that but it was wrong, for so many reasons. She wasn't happy in a sense that she would want to get back with him, but happy that he didn't write off every thing he felt for her when they were together.
Reba was with Brad now and she was completely sure that he was the one for her, it just took twenty years to find him. But even if Reba had acted on impulse and taken Brock back, what would happen to Barbra Jean and Henry? How would the kids react? It wouldn't have been right because every one would get hurt in the process, the kids, Brock, Reba, and Barbra Jean. Reba couldn't have that on her conscious, destroying a marriage. It seemed like her whole world was again turning upside down. But it was comforting having Brad and the support of her children by her side. But as for Brock and Barbra Jean, Reba wasn't sure about what she should do with those two. She wondered whether she should just ban them out her life or try to reconcile the situation.
Finally they had made it to Brad's place. Hand in hand they walk into his house. Reba was still upset and didn't really want to talk about what had happened.
"Honey, you want to talk about it?" Brad asked.
"Not right now. Honestly I just want to lie down and rest my head for a while."
"Alright sweetheart."
Brad walked her up to his bedroom. Reba quickly made herself comfortable in Brad's big, king size bed. Brad gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead and was on his way out the bedroom when Reba softly grabbed his hand. He looked down to her.
"Brad, please don't go. Lay with me," she said while looking up tenderly at him with her irresistible blue eyes. Brad smiled downed at her and slowly made his way into bed, wrapping her up in all his love and charm. Together they slept, trying to calm their nerves.
It was around midnight when Brock came walking through his house. Lights were off and silence could be heard in every room. Brock walked into his dark bedroom, not noticing Barbra Jean sitting straight up in bed, looking at him. Once the lights were turned on, he was startled to see his wife wide awake. Before he could say anything, Barbra Jean beat him to the punch.
"Your still in love with her aren't you?" she asked calmly.
"What?"
"Brock don't play dumb with me, I know your still in love with her."
"Barbra Jean, what and who are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Reba, Brock. I've finally figured out why you've been acting so damn crazy."
"You don't know what your talking about."
"I do too know what I'm talking about. You are still in love with your ex-wife, Brock. I mean I guess its my fault, I should've known this all along. The way you too interact with each other isn't common amongst other divorced couples."
"Barbra Jean I can explain…" he was cut off.
" Don't bother Brock because I already know what your going to say, so save it. Brock I love you with all my heart and soul, but I can't compete with Reba and I don't intend to."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you have to make a choice. I can't keep living this way, hoping and praying that you won't leave me. I have been nothing but a good wife to you. I'm not going to just sit around here and wait for you to give me what you think I should have, Henry and I deserve better than that."
"What do you want me to do?"
For just a moment Barbra Jean just stared at him. Finally getting out of bed she slowly made her way towards him. Standing before him calmly, she softly spoke up.
"Look me in my face and tell me your in love with me."
A stunned Brock looked at his wife for just a moment and then slowly turned his gaze to the floor. He couldn't bring himself to say it because it was true, he wasn't in love with her.
Barbra Jean bit her bottom lip as she held back tears. Gathering up all her strength she spoke up.
"Well I guess I got my answer."
"Barbra Jean I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you or Henry."
Barbra Jean just nodded her head, wanting to scream to the heavens. She made her way towards the door, before opening it she turned around and said one last thing.
"Brock, Reba's happy with Brad. If you love her like you say you do, then let her be happy with the man she loves."
With that she walked out the room and her marriage. Brock stood in place, not knowing what to do next. His heart ached for so many different reasons. On one hand he hated himself for hurting Barbra Jean and on the other he was losing his forever love, Reba. It was at that moment when all of his mistakes came to the surface for him to see. He had sacrificed every thing to fulfill his moments of loneliness and his need to fill like a man.
Brock slowly sat at the end of the bed and for the first time, cried because the realization of what had become of his life was too great. For as long as he could remember, when the going got tough he ran away from the problem. But not this time, this time he would have to face and deal with this situation.
Brad was twirling a piece of Reba's hair when she had woken up. It wasn't until she looked out the window and noticed it was dark outside.
"How long have I been asleep?" she asked sheepishly.
"A few hours. You looked peaceful so I let you sleep until you decided to wake up."
"Thank you honey."
"So are you feeling a little better about today?"
"No not really. I just can't believe its come to this. Even though Brock and I are divorced, our friendship has always came out on top. How are my kids going to feel when they realize Brock and I aren't even talking to each other anymore? I just wish this would all go away."
"Reba a problem like this will never go away until you sit down and handle it. Maybe after a while Brock will come to his senses and every thing will be just fine."
"I don't know Brad, for once I want my life to be drama free. I'm sorry for bringing you into this."
"Honey you don't have to apologize for anything. I'm involved because I want to protect you. I love you and I'm not going let anyone come between us."
"I love you so much. I just hope all of this chaos is driving you away from me."
"Not to be funny Reba but your stuck with me for a long time." Reba couldn't help laughing at Brad's statement.
"Now that's the smile that gets my heart pumping," he said while he kissing her softly.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm starving."
"Well how about I go downstairs and order pizza."
Reba nodded her head in agreement. Once Brad was gone, she made her way into the bathroom so she could freshen up a bit. As she fumbled with her hair, she noticed something. She slowly removed her left hand from her hair, bringing it in front of her face. There was a twenty-four carat marquise diamond on her ring finger. Reba's mind was spinning with confusion. Her breathing became slightly heavier. As she turned around she was stopped, there stood Brad in the doorway.
"Brad what's going on?"
He walked closer towards Reba, gently taking her hands into his. Still looking in her eyes, he kneeled down on one knee. Reba was utterly speechless.
"Reba I know this isn't the perfect timing to do this considering every thing that's going on. But I can't go another day without being able to call you my wife. I love you in my heart, I love you in my mind and I love you in my soul. I know you've been hurt in the past, but I swear on my life I will never do anything to hurt or harm you. You mean the world to me and it would be an honor to call you Mrs. Brad MacIntosh. Reba Hart, will you marry me?"
Reba was taken back by this man. She never thought that this would happen again, marrying someone. She was moved to tears. She had been waiting for that moment when she could truly say she had moved on and now she could. Every thing he'd said was so heart felt and true. The look in his eyes proved that to her. She loved this man and would be happy to spend the rest of her life with him.
"Yes Brad, I will marry you."
With tears and joy in his face he jumped up and embraced his new fiancé, kissing her with all his might. They held onto each other, soaking up the incredulous moment.