Why can't I be happy?
Chapter 18
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After losing practically every thing, Brock became overwhelmed with pain, shame and guilt. His incessant need to have more had finally caught up with him. Now he lay in an empty house, alone. He'd spent years trying to find the thing that would make him happy, only to find himself lonely and guilt-stricken. The irony came when he realized that his happiness had been staring him in the face all along. Reba was his true happiness. Long ago, Brock had convinced himself that divorcing Reba would give him the contentment he needed, only to find out years later that Reba was the peace and contentment. She was his light, his soul, his every thing. And now he watched as Reba became the love of someone else's life.
Brock wondered what he would do with himself now. How was he suppose to go on with his life, when his life was Reba. Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. God only knew that had he the chance Brock would turn the hands of time and get his life back. Brock felt like this was the end for him and had no reason to go on.
As he sat on the floor, he picked up the gun that he had been slowly caressing. With shaky hands, he brought the gun to his head, hoping to end all his pain and misery. Just as he was working up his nerve to pull the trigger, Barbra Jean walked through the door…
After staying the night with Brad, Reba had made her way back home. She was both excited and nervous about telling the kids of her news. Before she opened the front door, Reba turned to Brad.
"Honey, you'll be fine. We'll just go in and tell them our news." Brad said reassuringly.
"I'm just nervous. I mean my kids have only seen me with Brock and now to find out that I'm remarrying is going to be a shock. I just hope they can accept it."
"Reba your family loves you and they want you to be happy. I'll be right by your side for support. Don't worry."
They gave each other a quick peck before entering the living room. Luckily all her kids just happened to be watching television and lounging around. Reba and Brad slowly approached them.
"Hey mom and Brad. What's up?" Cheyenne asked.
"Well guys we have something to tell you."
Van turned off the television and all of their attention was focused on the two adults. Reba's anxiety and nervousness came back in one flash. Brad could tell by how her shoulders tensed up, so he gently held her hand.
"I don't how you guys are going to take this but Brad asked me to marry him and I said yes."
The room was silent. The silence was killing Reba, she tried her hardest to read the expressions on their faces but she came up blank. Finally with tears in her eyes, Kyra approached her mother.
"Mom, I'm so happy for you and I hope that you guys have a wonderful life together."
With that said Kyra embraced her mother. Reba couldn't help crying herself. She held onto her daughter so tight, thanking God that her child accepted her decision to remarry. Slowly and tearfully the rest of the family joined in on the group hug. Even Brad was overcome with emotions. After a while they broke apart and talked more about the wedding.
"Yes! Now I will finally have a dog." Jake said, referring to Brad's dog.
"Wow mom I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm so happy for you two." Cheyenne gushed.
"Thanks Cheyenne. I love your mother so much and the thought of being with her forever makes me love her that much more."
"Well mom we have to start planning the wedding. Oh I'm so excited." Cheyenne said.
Reba laughed at her kids, really surprised at their acceptance and approval of Brad. Nothing could make her happier than now. They'd gotten so overjoyed that Brad took them all out to dinner that night.
Barbra Jean ran to Brock and slapped the gun out his hand. She kneeled down to his level and cradled him as he cried mercilessly into her chest. Though she was still heart broken she couldn't help feeling bad for him.
"Brock what do you think your doing?"
"Barbra Jean I don't want to live anymore. I've lost every thing and I've hurt everyone around me. I have nothing."
"How can you say that? You have four wonderful kids who love you more than anything."
"They don't need me."
"Yes they do Brock, they'll always need you."
"I'm just tired of hurting every one Barbra Jean. I just want them to be happy."
"Killing yourself wouldn't make them happy Brock, it would crush them more than anything else."
"What am I suppose to do now?"
"Stop running. Deal with these problems you are having. It's about time you grew up Brock and stop thinking the world owes you something. For once be satisfied with yourself and your life."
"I love her so much Barbra Jean. I can't see myself without her."
Though it hurt Barbra Jean to hear this, she couldn't deny that he was always in love with Reba. He never stopped.
"Brock I know you love her. But like I said before if you love her like you say then let her be happy. For so long Reba has had to deal with the pain of a divorce, a pregnant teenager and our affair. Don't you think its time for her to have some kind of joy in her life. Its only fair."
"I know. But when I think of her happiness, I see my face not Brad's. I know its selfish but I can't help it."
"You have to let her go, it's the only way. Maybe its for the best that your not in a relationship for a while. Now you can use this time to find out who you truly are and give God a chance to show his love for you."
"Barbra Jean why are you being so nice to me after all the trouble I've caused you."
"Because I know your having a hard time right now. And I also feel like I'm the cause for all of this. Brock I am the reason why you aren't with Reba now and I can't help hating myself for it. Though I hate to admit it, we made a big mistake when we got together."
"I guess were both in the same boat when it comes to picking up the pieces."
"Yeah I guess so."
They were silent for just a moment.
"Well I should get going, I wanted to come over and give you these," she said while handing divorce papers.
Brock took them and stared down at his hands. Once again he was getting divorced. Taking a deep breath, he signed them and handed them back to Barbra Jean. Before walking out the door she turned to Brock.
"Brock I know this is hard but try to get on with the rest of your life, for the sake of your children if nothing else."
Once gone, Barbra Jean made her way to Reba's house. She had to apologize to her for the last time they had seen each other. Nervously she knocked on the door. As she heard someone coming towards the door she took a deep breath and prepared herself. Brad answered. He didn't know what to say because he didn't want anything to upset Reba again.
"Hi Brad, can I please speak with Reba?"
"Uh yeah. Come on in, she's upstairs I'll go get her."
Before he could reach the step Reba was already coming down the stairs.
"Honey who is it…" she stopped mid sentence, noticing Barbra Jean.
Reba slowly descended the stairs, still focusing her attention on Barbra Jean. Brad thought he noticed Reba tensing up. Reba looked at him for a moment before turning back to the other woman.
"Brad could you give me a minute." He nodded in agreement and went back upstairs to Reba's room.
"Barbra Jean what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to apologize. I was so wrong for saying those horrible things to you. I should have known that you would never hurt me like I hurt you. Reba I've been so scared of Brock leaving me that I took my frustration and anger out on you. You're the only friend I've ever had and I hope you can find it in your heart to someday forgive me."
"Barbra Jean, for a long time I've hated you for having an affair with Brock. But I've come to realize that I shouldn't judge you for what happened. I should appreciate your kindness that you've shown me these four years and the kindness and care you've shown my children. But you have to trust me when I say I would never hurt you like that. And yes, I forgive you."
"Thank-you Reba. I don't deserve your friendship after all I've done. I also want to let you know that Brock and I are getting divorced."
Reba's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe what Barbra Jean said.
"Barbra Jean why are you two getting divorced?"
"Reba, Brock doesn't love me and he never will. His heart belongs to someone else."
"I'm so sorry." Reba said.
"It's not your fault. I guess deep down I always knew he'd never get over you."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Just promise me that you'll be my friend forever."
"Not a problem. Well I have some news of my own, Brad and I are getting married."
"Oh my gosh Reba that's wonderful. You deserve it more than anyone I know. You really love him don't you?"
"More than anything." Reba said with a gleam in her eyes.
"Well I'd love to stay and chat but I need to pick up Henry from the baby-sitters."
As she opened the door to leave, Reba called out to her.
"Barbra Jean, will we ever see you again?"
"Yeah, but for right now Henry and I need some time to get on our feet and start our life. Goodbye Reba."
"Goodbye Barbra Jean."
And just like that Reba watched as Barbra Jean left, knowing in her heart she may never see her again.
Three months had passed and it was time for Brad and Reba to make their relationship official. Reba, Cheyenne and Kyra helped to plan everything alongside the wedding planner that Brad hired. They hadn't talked to Brock or Barbra Jean within the three months that had passed. Even Reba had to admit she missed them barging into her house whenever they felt like it.
Reba looked herself over in the mirror, loving the sight before her. She was simply stunning in her wedding dress. It was a halter dress with crystal beads embedded in a design all over the dress. The back of the dress stopped just above the small of her back with a long trail to follow. Her hair pulled into a messy up-do, with rhinestones going throughout the front of her hair. As Reba stared into the mirror, a knock came at the door. She nonchalantly told whoever it was to come in.
The person came in, closing the door. When Reba caught sight of the face, she quickly turned around, lost for words. For a moment Brock and Reba just stared at each other. Brock couldn't believe how gorgeous she looked. It nearly brought him to tears. Neither one of them knew what to say to each other. Brock made the first move.
"Reba let me start off by saying you look so stunning."
"Thank-you Brock."
"I know your wondering why I'm here, so I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm sorry for every thing. I'm sorry for the divorce, the affair and any other time I've ever caused you pain. I'm not here to start any trouble or ask you to give me a second chance. These last three months have showed me some things. Things I've never thought about before. Whether you like it or not, I will always love you and I don't think I'll ever stop."
"Brock…"
"No please let me finish. For years I've been searching for happiness and I've realized that you are my happiness. All this time I've wondered what was missing from my life and I now know that its you. I didn't appreciate you Reba and now I am paying the ultimate price for it. You use to tell me that God has the power to show you who's God and I know that now. Reba, apart of loving you is wanting you to be happy and if that means you marrying Brad then so be it. You deserve to be with someone who will love you and adore you forever."
"Brock, I will always love you and I will never forget what we had. You'll always have a place in my heart. Brad makes me happy and I know without him even saying it that he loves me. No matter what happens, you will always be my best friend."
"I know you love him, I can see it in your eyes."
Without any hesitation they both embraced each other in a sweet hug. As they pulled apart, Cheyenne came in, telling her mother that it was time to walk down the aisle. Reba walked towards the double doors that lead into the church.
"Reba, I love you."
"I love you too."
As the music began, Reba walked down the aisle to her new life. She was nervous as hell but seeing Brad's face at the alter relaxed her tremendously. Brock sat in the way back, not wanting to get in the way.
"You be happy Reba," he said silently to himself. He didn't stay for the reception, instead he went home and continued on his path of self discovery.
After the honeymoon, Reba decided to move into Brad's home, taking Jake and Kyra with her. She left the house to Van and Cheyenne.
After years of longing and loneliness, she had finally found her happily ever after.
FIN!!
I would like to thank every one who read and reviewed my story. I enjoyed writing it and I nearly almost cried myself while writing it. Be sure look out for my other story Another Chance At Happiness, I start school in a while so I won't update regularly but when I can.
Much love.