Chapter 8

It felt as if time had stopped moving and all he could do was stand there like some old statue. Morgana in the meantime had looted the key to his cage and was making her way inside.

He was still glued to the same spot. What should he do? How should he approach this? He could already see it. Him being overly emotional and Morgana knocking him on the head for going for a hug in the most inappropriate of times. On the other hand he could just shake her hand at which point she'll just assume he was distancing himself from her and not caring enough.

While he was still contemplating his approach she had already woven her hands around him and pulled him close in a tight hug. It felt warm and familiar.

Her scent as he breathed deeply at her proximity was the comfort he didn't realize he needed. She really was here and he couldn't help himself but forget all the reasons he was supposed to be mad at her for. It all vanished and his mind was blissfully blank.

"I am glad I found you Merlin."

She found him? Didn't he spend the better part of his journey searching for her and he made it plain clear that he was there if she ever wanted to "find" him. He was never lost. Not that he knew it.

She released him and he had a chance to finally look her in the eyes and ask, "Why?"

Morgana had started to walk out of the cage when she stopped and turned to look at him. She looked confused by his question and that only added to his building anger. All this time she was out there safe while he worried about betrayals, rumors of her being the new queen, everything really and here she was perfectly okay and fine.

"Why what Merlin?"

He felt his hands shake and tried to dry swallow a couple of times just so he wouldn't say something he would regret. In and out. Slowly.

"You left. Me and Arthur- we trusted you. More than anyone and you left."

She looked worried for a moment after seeing him in such a state but he didn't want to back down. She owed him something.

"Merlin, now is not the time. We need to get out of here." she tried.

He banged his hands on the cage as he tried to control his emotions. In and out. Slowly.

"Now is exactly the time to talk about this!"

He saw her flinch, but he couldn't stop.

"We waited and searched for months Morgana. High and low, we searched after they started hunting us down, even then we didn't quit."

She didn't look at him, more interested in the rust of the bars than facing him.

"Now you turn up, out of nowhere and have nothing else to say and act like nothing even happened."

Before he could say anything else his head was pulled to the right and a loud clap resonated. He touched his cheek and in the next moment turned towards her. The fierce and stormy look on her face made him regret it, but he bit his tongue, not wanting to back down. Her eyes were misty but she kept her voice calm.

"You think I wanted to Merlin?"

He said nothing. He wanted an explanation and he was going to get it even if she never looked at him the same.

"You think I wanted to leave Arthur, let alone you?"

He only met her gaze; the tension grew with every passing moment. Maybe he had time to apologize but now he didn't want to. He has made his decision, now was time to face it. Now was not the time to be walking on eggshells.

"I don't know what to think when you don't want to talk to me."

She slumped her shoulders and her forlorn gaze met his once more.

"Morgause found me, claimed she was my sister and how we were destined to rule over Camelot and the whole of Albion."

He listened and gave away nothing.

"She said I have to go with her because Uther was after her, because he found out that she was plotting to kill him and so as his advisor her head would not be on her shoulders for such act of treason."

That woman wasn't good, he figured it the moment he first saw her. She was poison and he just had to save Arthur and Gwaine so they don't lose time, but again he needed to know.

She came towards him and he could almost feel her tears on his fingertips so he just clenched his hand. Now was not the time for comfort.

"I didn't trust her and I didn't want to be apart from you guys so I said no."

Her lip started to tremble but she took a calming breath. He wanted to scream.

"The next thing I know I am on the ground unable to move. You guys were by the fireplace and I just wanted to get us some fruit. Damn Morgause- but then she me took away, to a dungeon like place and I was there for a long time. It was so cold and dark, days blended together. That tiny place was all I've known for that time, but I couldn't give up."

He extended his hand towards her but she turned towards the cage door and made her way to it. He grasped the cold metal until his hands were white.

"But I took a chance when a man came in to bring me food, I gouged his eyes out with my hands and hit him with the pot he brought with him, after that I took the small sword from him. I hit and hit until he didn't move anymore."

He felt like his hands were on fire. It was building in him and he couldn't stop it.

"I snuck out and realized it was an abandoned looking tower in the middle of nowhere. Still I ran and I ran until I couldn't. I wanted to get to you."

She turned back leaning on the cage wall. Her gaze traced his shoulders he felt it so strongly on him, but he couldn't turn out of fear of what may happen.

"I was searching for you when I found out that Uther was dead and all this terrible rumors how you were to blame. After that I hid as much as I could. Quickly I learned that she was searching for me - her threats echoed far."

She took a moment.

"Then I realized that she used my face to kill him and that they were searching for me. She made it look like I did it and the only reason she was even there was because being his royal advisor she has tried to stop me." she laughed bitterly as Merlin just listened. "And now she is on the throne in his stead for that brave act. He had no children according to her, but she doesn't know. Not many do. Still, a tale for another time."

The horrors she faced all by herself and he wasn't there... He had hated her then for abandoning them but now he knew that Morgana did what she always does. She protected them to the best of her ability.

"I wanted to go back to meet with you two but I couldn't add to your danger. Couldn't live with it."

A watery smile sealed it all.

"Because you're my boys."

In the next moment he had her in his arms as she quietly sobbed. The metal he had held was all but gone as his hands had almost melted it off. Now he just had her in mind. She chuckled into his shirt and he couldn't help but enjoy the sound. Morgana was right it - wasn't the right place and he once more had grown too emotional and narrow minded. She would've called him out on it but he realized that maybe she needed to share what she went through with someone. No, not someone, him.

"I remember saying that if you ever see me cry I would challenge you to a duel so you can also walk away mortified and embarrassed."

He smiled into her hair, glad she was feeling a little better.

"I may have to use two swords to even the field."

She moved away, wiping away the last drop and smiled in amusement.

"You can bring Arthur with you and the result would still be the same."

He couldn't help but laugh.

"That very well may be true."

She was again her old self and he was happy. A simple thing he hadn't realized that he had missed all this time. He quickly motioned towards the stairs ahead.

"So- as I have no idea where I am, care to tell me what lies before us."

She took his hand and led him up the stairs, but not for long as they were at the top.

She turned towards him and said, "Follow my lead."

"Don't I always," he replayed before he could stop himself.

She shot him an annoyed look before quickly turning it into a smile.

"Well, well aren't you being mischievous for someone who spent a better part of his day in a cage."

"I can't help it. I'm happy."

Sure, maybe it wasn't the right time but Merlin was never up for being proper. Mostly he couldn't think straight when she was near so he could not be faulted for sounding like an idiot.

"Yes, well if we make it out of here with our heads attached to our bodies that will be something to be happy about, otherwise we will be leaving Arthur to fend for himself and that is never a good thing."

Merlin nodded.

"Don't worry, Gwaine is with him. If he hasn't annoyed him to the point of biting through his shackles nothing will."

Morgana looked at him in question.

"Gwaine?"

He forgot that she didn't know him, mostly because Merlin didn't know him either at one point but now he couldn't help but appreciate he had a friend like that on his side.

"I am not sure I can explain him to you. You will just have to see it to believe it."

When they got out to a courtyard they saw two figures trying to sneak past on the other side. It was dark so it was hard to see, but they were not being quiet about it. Merlin looked towards Morgana and she also appeared to as baffled as he was. He could hear them talking.

"Why did you have to take your boots with your teeth? That was disgusting."

"That is where I keep the metal pin for shackle kind of emergencies."

"Now that is just stupid, who does that?"

"Says the man who head butted a chest plate. Real smart."

"Oh come off it, I wanted to stager the man."

"Yes and all you've managed to do was knock yourself out and I had to wait half a day for you to awake so we can escape."

"Aw I didn't know you cared."

"I did it only so you won't spill everything to that witch under the torture of a good meal."

"She was rather striking."

"Uh I don't want to hear it. Let's find Merlin and get out of here."

Now he was most definitely sure who the two idiots were. Even Morgana scoffed at their banter. Yep it was absolutely Arthur and Gwaine.

"Arthur!" he called.

In that moment he felt Morgana punch his shoulder.

"Not so loud."

It was too late, the guard at the other side was alert and started to shout for others, before Gwaine took of his boot and tossed it at his head. When the man was struck down, Gwaine turned to Arthur.

"Now that is how you use your boots my friends."

Arthur didn't even look at them.

"Quickly to our horses."

With that they moved silently out of the castles courtyard after they (miraculously if Merlin might say) avoided the guards and took their horses. Arthur and Gwaine followed by Merlin and Morgana on his horse.

Gwaine was the first one of them to notice that they had a new member.

"And who might this fine lady be."

He tried to sound and look seductive but on a horse in gallop, he mostly looked like a disfigured wild bear but he tried anyways.

"You must be Gwaine."

Before he could look astonished he said, "Aha so you have heard of me, I have to tell you the legends are true. You are in the presence of a great knight and a fine gentlemen."

Arthur fell back to ride alongside them.

"More a womanizer and a drunk."

Before he had a chance to look offended Morgana responded.

"No I haven't heard of you. Merlin only told me your name."

Arthur looked at Morgana and they shared something without any words exchanged before he sped his horse and went ahead of them.

"That went well." Merlin said as Morgana stayed silent, only pulling his hands tighter around her as he held the rains of the horse.

"Arthur and I will be fine. We just need to make as much distance as we can between us and that place. I don't want to have to look over my shoulder too often."

Still, it was surprising how much Arthur and Morgana could communicate without saying anything. They always did that. It was also strange for such aggressive characters when it came to two of them they were always calm and civil.

Always with an air of royal stature.

Maybe they can shed some light on it when they set camp. Finally clear some things up, he had enough of secrets.

"That was interesting and all but I am said we didn't get our gear."

Merlin almost forgot about it but he was missing his blade and Arthur was also not having a great day now that his swords gone. Before he could say anything Arthur turned and said, "We'll get it back. All of it."

He had a feeling he meant more than their weapons.