The villagers were poisoned because Lens wanted to get her to the planet surface. It was her fault that some of them died. And now, she was forced to cooperate with him. The nightmares were just the beginning. Her world was no broken into pieces and she didn't know if it would ever be all right.

Chapter 8

She didn't know how long she was lying there. She couldn't get some parts of the conversation out of her head. When Lens started to talk, she was totally confused and didn't want to believe him. But everything just fit together and when he finished, she believed him every word.

It was three months ago when she was infected. They gave her some newly developed virus that needed to be tested. She and a few other subjects from different planets should have helped them. But it didn't wok as they imagined. It was very dangerous and the scientist wasn't skilled enough to take control of that. When some of them were infected cause of bad manipulation with the virus, they started to work at some antidote. That's the reason why they needed to find her, because they believed she would be able to handle it.

The virus was causing all the nightmares and making people more exhausted and slowly dying. That even wasn't the original goal. Lens and the others wanted to create some effective weapon against their enemies. But the cure didn't work and they needed it. Including Lens, because he was infected by the virus too. They joined the group of mercenaries and waited for their chance.

Jennifer sighed helplessly. She hated that fact but he was right; his death was the last thing she would want now. She needed him alive and he needed her. She knew for sure what she was supposed to do. She must follow him to his friends and help him to find the cure. Lens found her and it was up to her now to help him and save herself as well.

She felt that she is loosing the control over her own life. Now she must do things she could never imagine. What more, she felt guilty because of all the problems she caused to the villagers. She didn't know if she would be able to look into Kal's eyes again. She cured his brother later, but it shouldn't have happened at all.

The biggest problem right now was Ronon. He was always a problem, she smiled. But till now it was just difficult sometimes, but mostly fine and funny with him. But how could she explain something to him when she had no idea how to start and what to say? She knew she didn't have to talk to him, but he wouldn't let her be so easily. He wasn't that type of person.

She thought that she should start with Lorne at first. He is a soldier and will understand that's necessary. She was ready to leave with Lens tonight, just as he brought in. Someone will be waiting for him not far away from here, but he didn't tell her anything more accurate of course.

It was so quick and shocking and she didn't know if she wasn't acting insanely. But it was just her decision and she needed to do it herself. She was a doctor on Atlantis and she was good in what she was doing. Now she must be strong and do what is the best. She couldn't put mind to Ronon or anyone else. It was all about her.

--

It was much easier than she expected. To be honest, it was easier just because Ronon was away. He left the village before she did and he shouldn't have come back for a few next hours. Her conversation with Lorne was quite short and successful. He didn't try to force her to stay. He obviously wasn't glad that Lens should be released but he didn't say a word. Actually she had a feeling he understood why she decided to go when Ronon was away.

She was surprised that Lorne didn't protest more but he knew her reasons to go and wanted her to be healthy again. She tried to tell him what he needed without sharing some details and her feelings. She was scared but she must have done something. She wasn't ready for anything like this but who could be. And Major believed in her abilities, more than she did herself.

They set of and she had to follow the man that caused her so many troubles. She didn't take the gun. Although it could be frivolous, she was sure that she is safe now. At least till she discovers the cure. She refused to admit the possibility that she doesn't have to be able to succeed. It would be even worse if she would lose the faith in herself. She didn't want to give up yet.

She was tired and lost the orientation very soon. Lens was nice to her and even talked sometimes. She answered with one word usually, because she wasn't in a mood to chat, especially with him. He looked back from time to time. She knew he couldn't be sure if the soldiers weren't following them. In fact, Jennifer couldn't be sure of that. But she believed that Lorne filled the promise.

After a few hours when the sky was getting dark Lens stopped and told her to have some sleep. But she didn't want to sleep right now. There were some facts she needed to know and hoped that he could start to answer.

They were staying at a small glade; the forest was surrounding them. He made a fire and she really welcomed the bit of warm. Lens gave her a blanket and took another one for him. He wasn't looking at her and evidently didn't have anything to say.

It always surprised her when she realized how young he is. He could be few years older than her, but he looked tired and his eyes were empty. His dark hair was falling widely around his face, but it didn't seem to bother him. His face was common; he was one of the people that would get lost in the crowd easily.

„Why did you do it?" It wasn't the best beginning but she needed to break the silence. He glanced at her without any sign of interest.

„Why did we did it to you or what?" he asked, although he probably knew what she meant.

„Why did you start playing with things you cannot handle," she said. „Why did you try to gain something like this poison? Don't tell me you did it just for money."

„No," he admitted. „We had enemies. We needed to do everything possible to save us. Our people. It wasn't my decision to do it this way." Although he was talking about a serious and quite personal staff, she didn't see any emotions on his face and it was bothering her a little.

"Maybe it wasn't the most ethical solution but we had no other choice," he said after a moment of silence.

„You didn't care about your victims," she replied. „You didn't care about me and the other and how it's gonna affect our lives. You wanted to kill us."

„No," he refused. „It was a mistake. Not the nightmares, but it shouldn't kill anyone. It was a mistake. I am not murderer"

She gave him a surprised look. He was saying something else in the afternoon. She was sure that he wasn't lying now but didn't know why he decided to share that with her.

„And what about the people in the village? If you are not murderers, why did you try to kill them?"

„We didn't," he said, staring in the fire. „It wasn't our idea to kill the people. In fact, we protected them. This group of killers wouldn't let anyone useless alive. They would murder the weak and old, just like they did at the other places."

„But they came to the village and you didn't stop them" she said.

„Yeah, but the soldiers did. They knew there was no time to waste and left as soon as possible. And I was also sure that they wouldn't escape far away. They are weak."

He glanced at her and then turned his eyes back to the fire. She wasn't sure if she saw a sign of sadness on his face, but it was away as fast as it appeared. Now he looked calm and his voice became neutral again.

„We poisoned the water in the stream by the village. It was my idea. We know you would come and heal most of them. Trust me, it saved more lives." She sighed. It was just too dangerous to believe someone she just met and who caused her these troubles.

„You could find me and tell me the truth," she said after a while.

„Really?" he snorted. „Could you imagine what would happen? They wouldn't let us even talk to you. Not mentioning the big guy that was guarding you all the time. I saw how he is looking at you, doctor. He had big problems not to kill me."

Jennifer smiled slightly. Ronon was really protective about her; even this man could see it. But now it wasn't what she should think of. Not at all. She looked at her current companion, who didn't move since the time he sat and was still staring into the fire thoughtfully.

„Did you plan to be caught?" she asked. It could be a stupid question but she wasn't sure of anything. And she knew he could lie to her but he didn't seem to be. He was answering her question patiently and didn't refuse her. It was really different from his behavior in the village when she met her.

„No," he said. „We didn't. We wanted to leave the rest back and take you with us. That was simple. But you left the village and that caused the troubles."

"But you have what you want now," she said silently.

He turned to her and looked into her eyes. "No, I don't. But if you will do what you should, I will survive a bit longer."

He turned away and lay down. She understood that she wouldn't find out anything more tonight. That words she said, that he had what he wanted, had an unexpected effect on him. She didn't want to make him angry, although she didn't feel guilty about it. He had much more to be guilty about than her. She realized that he knew that and tried to fight with it. And most of the time successfully.

She lay too, trying to find some comforting position, but it was difficult. She tightened up the blanket and hoped that she won't be cold. But the fire was still warming her and she wanted to believe that she would be able to fall asleep.

She wasn't so frightened anymore but she was getting puzzled more and more. She really tried to understand all she heard but she wasn't able yet. It wasn't just Lens and his behavior that was confusing her. It was also how easily she got out of the village. Was it really cause Lorne trusted her and was ready to vindicate his decision in front of Colonel Carter? She couldn't be sure.

Well, she used her doctor privilege and told him that if it concerns the medical care it was up to her, but Major didn't have to listen to her. He did. Just as she did, he trusted Lens some way. That man had this influence on the people around. Maybe it was because he was able to stay so calm almost all the time. She thought that this was making him more dangerous.

Now she was back at Ronon again. She knew that after she solves all of this, if she did actually, she would have to face him again. Try to explain why she left without telling him anything. What if he wouldn't want to see her? What if he would be upset about her? Or worse. What if he wouldn't care at all?

She sighed. Now she has a lot to do and she should do it in the right order. Find the cure. Save her. And then find out what the Satedan really thinks about her. After all she will have to do it should be a piece of cake. Just some little voice inside her head was telling her it wouldn't.

TBC

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Hi readers! Sorry that the chapter is here so late, I was too busy in RL these days (some of you know...). Hope you like the chapter; it was quite difficult for me. It won't take long till we get to more shipping, I promise :) Please leave me a review, thank you