Eleri wants to go to Hogwarts. Charlie can hardly believe it when she tells him. He can hardly bear to think about the last time he was there, and he certainly can't tell her about it, but she's been in England for a month now. She's been holding his hand whenever things get too hard, and so he can't say no when she says she wants to see where he went to school.
He manages to smile and nod when she asks, but when she goes to bed that night, he bolts for Shell Cottage and his older brother. Luckily, Bill and Fleur are still awake, and Charlie tries to hide the panic in his voice when he asks them if they feel like going along for the day. He starts to breathe for the first time when they immediately agree to go. Fleur even offers to bring a picnic lunch for when they're finished walking around.
Once he gets back home, Charlie glances in the mirror in the bathroom, and he sighs. No wonder they agreed so readily. He'd have agreed to anything he'd asked for too if he'd seen himself looking like this. But he shakes his head. At least it was only Bill and Fleur. And they're going. That's all that matters right now.
When Eleri finds Charlie the next morning, he holds out his hand to her.
"We're going to Shell Cottage," he informs her, but as her face falls slightly, he adds, "Bill and Fleur want to come with us to Hogwarts. We'll all go together."
Now she smiles, and Charlie can't help but smile too. Making her happy might make this trip worth it. And if he can manage to stay away from the Great Hall, he might even be able to get through this in one piece. He just has to hope Bill won't remember.
But when they arrive at Shell Cottage, he knows his luck won't hold out that much. Bill is already looking at him with concern in his eyes, and he's starting to think it was a mistake to ask these two to come along. But it's too late now. He forces another smile (that he knows Bill can see through) and asks with as much cheer as he can muster, "Are we all ready?"
They are. Within moments, the four find themselves in Hogsmeade, and Eleri is looking around in wonder. It is the first time she's been out of Ottery St. Catchpole since she's arrived, and Charlie feels a pang of guilt for not taking her around more (even though he knows he has a perfectly legitimate excuse). But he points out some of the more interesting shops (taking care to avoid Zonko's – it's still too hard to think about joke shops), and then they make their way to the gates.
Once they are walking to the castle, Charlie finds his breathing growing shallow, and he knows that it has nothing to do with the hill they're climbing. He continues to stare straight ahead, though, because he knows that Bill can hear him and is bound to start worrying again. Eleri is still holding his hand, and he tries not to grip hers even more tightly than he already is. But then he looks at her, and she's smiling in anticipation of what she's about to see. She doesn't know. This can still be all right.
When they walk in the doors, the Great Hall is directly before them, but before he can think of a way to change their direction, Bill does it for him.
"Let's go to Gryffindor Tower. Maybe the Fat Lady will let us in?"
Charlie is so grateful that he almost wants to hug Bill, but he settles for smiling at him, and he pulls Eleri toward the nearest staircase.
It turns out that they're lucky to have Bill with them because the Fat Lady smiles at him and turns a slight pink as she moves aside to let them through. Charlie elbows his older brother in the ribs and snorts.
"Did you know that she had a crush on you, mate?"
Now it's Bill's turn to flush, and he shoves Charlie into the nearest chair.
"Shut up," he mumbles, as he sits down on the couch, pulling a very amused Fleur down onto his lap. She looks at him with her eyebrows raised, and he groans.
"Not you too!" he exclaims, and she laughs.
"I always knew my 'usband was 'andsome, but I deed not know zat even ze portraits in 'Ogwarts knew zis!"
Bill sighs, and before she can say another word, he covers her lips with a kiss.
Now it's Charlie's turn to sigh, and he turns to Eleri, saying, "Let's leave these two alone. There's plenty more to see around here, and I'm sure they'll be busy for a while."
She complies immediately, and soon they find themselves wandering through the rest of the castle. He takes her into the rooms where he had his classes, and he points out the Quidditch pitch from one of the windows in the Transfiguration room. He hardly realizes that they're back in the front of the castle until Eleri points to the huge doors and asks curiously, "What's in there?"
He freezes. He knows that she can sense his sudden tension, but there's no way he can hide it now, so he says quietly, "It's the Great Hall."
Eleri looks at him questioningly, and he clears his throat, adding gruffly, "We ate all of our meals there."
She takes a step toward it, and he realizes that he has no choice but to follow her. He lets out a deep breath, and then, suddenly, they are inside, and he's looking at a room that looks nothing like it did the last time he was there.
The tables are back where they were always supposed to be, and the house banners are once again hanging from the walls. Nothing remains from the last Battle, but Charlie isn't seeing what's before him right now. He's seeing what he's relived every night since the last time he was there.
He's shaking, and Eleri's gone on ahead of him to look more closely at the Gryffindor banner, so she doesn't even know. He's afraid his legs won't support him, though, and he stumbles after her. She only notices when he collapses on the bench behind her, and that's when she starts to look very worried.
"Are you all right?" she asks, as she sits beside him, and he tries to nod, but he knows she doesn't believe him. He can't even look at her, but there's nowhere else in this room that's safe to look at either. His breath is coming in short gasps, and he's starting to wonder if he's about to pass out when he feels a strong arm around him.
Bill helps him to his feet without a word, and he guides him out of the Hall, which is good, because Charlie can hardly see anything with his suddenly blurry vision. Fleur stays with Eleri, and she answers her worry with a sigh.
"'E deed not tell you about ze last time 'e was 'ere, did 'e?"
When Eleri shakes her head, Fleur sighs again.
"Zere is somesing about zese Weasley men. Zey do not like anyone to know about zeir weakness – even eef eet ees not a weakness to anyone else. But Charlie… well, ze last time 'e was in zis room, eet was when 'e found out about what 'ad 'appened to Fred."
She doesn't need to say anymore. Eleri's eyes have filled with tears, and her hand has drifted to her mouth.
"And I made him come back here," she mumbles, but Fleur reaches out now and takes her other hand.
"Do not feel guilty," she says sternly although her eyes are gentle. "You deed not know, and eet ees not so bad for Charlie to 'ave to face zese sings sometimes. In case you have not noticed, 'e ees not very good at zat."
Eleri sniffles, but she smiles now too.
"You're right," she says softly. She squeezes Fleur's hand before letting go and says, "Thanks."
They are sitting there in a companionable silence until Bill and Charlie return, and the first thing Eleri notices, with a pang in her heart, is that Charlie's eyes are bloodshot, and he's trying not to look at her. She glances at Fleur, who is also watching him with tremendous sympathy, and then Fleur turns to her and nods once.
Eleri takes a deep breath and then stands up and approaches the two brothers. Bill is also watching her, and she knows that Charlie is his priority right now, but she can see the pain in his eyes too. She hopes that he trusts her enough to help his brother.
"Fleur told me," she says to the top of Charlie's head, which is the only part of him she can see. "I'm so sorry I asked you to come back here. I didn't know, but I'm ready to leave now if you are too."
Now his head comes up, and his mouth twists as he tries to control himself, but she can see the tears brimming in his eyes, and she takes an almost involuntary step forward only to find that he's done the same. And then he's in her arms, and she's holding him as tightly as she can manage. Her eyes are closed, but she knows that Bill has gone to sit with Fleur, and she can only imagine from the sounds she hears behind her that Fleur is holding Bill as well.
When they are all calmer, Charlie lets out a deep breath and pulls out of the embrace, dragging his hand across his eyes.
"There's one more thing I want to show you," he says to Eleri, and even though his eyes are very red, his voice is calmer. She puts her hand in his, and he leads her from the room, Bill and Fleur trailing at a safe distance behind them.
"My brothers left this behind when they made their grand exit from Hogwarts a few years ago," he says. His voice is tight, but it is also full of pride, and as Eleri examines the small portion of a swamp, she knows that Charlie is giving her something new right now. He's trying to share his family.
A/N: So happy to finally have a chance to get back to this! Sorry for the delay. Please read and REVIEW!