"I think it's time to go back."
Eleri's been repeating these words in her head for days, but she still doesn't know how to say them to Charlie. Every time she looks at him, she remembers the look in his eyes when he came back from the shop that night. He'd told her he was going to the ministry before he left, but by the time he came back, he couldn't lie anymore, and everything spilled out.
Whenever she thinks of that night, she feels a chill thinking of how upset he was. Of course it wasn't the first time she'd seen him so sad, but it was the first time since the funeral that he hadn't been able to calm down for such a long time. She worries now that if she says these words that are always on the tip of her tongue, she'll trigger some sort of outburst from him. It's the last thing she wants to do.
But it is time. She's held off on getting a job, and she's sure he knows why. She's sure he knows that this move was never meant to be permanent. But… he got a job. And he's slipped right back into the routines of the life at the Burrow. She wonders, sometimes, watching him, why he ever left.
She needs to tell him. But she doesn't want to be the one to hurt him now.
They arrive at their flat after yet another night spent at the Burrow, and she knows now is probably not the right time either. It's one of the harder days… one of what she's come to think of as a Fred day. She knows why, too, of course. She saw Katie's face when George disappeared after dinner. Whenever George is having a tough time, all of his siblings seem to absorb it. It's something she and Fleur have discussed, and she wonders if it will ever be any different.
Right now, though, this is what it is, and Charlie is more snappish than usual. She knows it's because he feels so achingly helpless, but these are the nights when she tends to stay out of his way.
He is prowling through the flat now, and she is in the bedroom, wondering if he's ever going to be calm enough to come to bed, when he flings open the door and snaps, "I can't find any cereal. What happened to the cereal?"
She stares at him for a moment and then forces her voice to remain calm when she says, "You finished it on Friday. You said you'd pick up more yesterday."
He stares back and then lets out an explosive breath, muttering "bloody brilliant" as he once again slams the door shut behind him.
Eleri collapses back against the pillows again, and she knows that their jobs aren't the only reason she wants to go back to Romania. These things… well, they would have to be easier if he had a little distance… wouldn't they?
Two days later, Charlie's mood still hasn't improved, but Eleri knows she just has to say it.
Just spit it out, she urges herself as they sit across their small table from each other. He is pushing his food around his plate, so he doesn't see the struggle of indecision on her face.
But before she can say a word, though, he looks up, and he can tell that she's got something on her mind. He sighs and pushes his chair back from the table. Eleri knows it's probably to give himself more room, but she can't help but feel like he's moving away from her, like he knows she's about to say something he probably doesn't want to hear. So she takes a deep breath. If he's expecting it, she might as well not let him down – right?
"Charlie," she says slowly, and she presses her hands to the edge of the table as she says, "I was thinking. Maybe – well, it's probably time to go back home, don't you think? They're not going to hold our jobs at the reserve forever…"
She trails off when she realizes he looked down when she started talking, and he hasn't looked up since.
"Charlie?" she says softly, and he looks up now. His expression is blank, but he nods.
"Sure," he says, and his voice is devoid of any emotion.
She is shocked, but she manages to keep her own voice neutral as she says, "So I'll just get in touch with Dr. Vieuxhomme and let him know we'll be back… when?"
Charlie shrugs. "Next week?"
His voice is still flat, but Eleri has no reason to think he's not serious, so she nods slowly and gets to her feet.
"I'll – I'll just send an owl now," she says, and she hurries from the room. There's something in Charlie's eyes that he thinks she can't see. But she knows. He should be alone right now. At least that's what she's telling herself.
They don't speak to each other very much in the days that follow. Eleri spends most of her free time packing. She has a hard time going to the Burrow since Charlie never told her what happened when he told his parents that they were going back to Romania. She's sure they blame her for the fact that they are now going to lose another son.
But then it is the night before they are set to leave, and Charlie mumbles that his mother would like it very much if they would come for dinner. She's invited everyone as a sort of going-away party. She nods, but her mouth feels very dry. This isn't something she'd have thought Molly Weasley would even pretend to celebrate.
When they get to the Burrow, she realizes that she was wrong – on so many levels. Molly smiles at her and hugs her tightly and tells her that they will miss them both but that she knows Eleri will take good care of her son. And Arthur hugs her as well, tells her the same. No one seems angry with her. No one seems disappointed. No one but… Charlie.
But when Eleri looks at him across the crowded table, she sees that he's completely unaware of his own anger, his own disappointment. He doesn't know what she does – that he's the only one who doesn't want him going back to Romania. She wonders if she should tell him, but then she knows – she can't. Selfishly, she wants him there with her, and she won't sabotage this chance at happiness.
If she can just get him away, she thinks, everything will be all right.
But the goodbyes are harder than she'd even imagined they might be. Even she feels the wrench at the end of the night when Molly and Arthur each hug her tightly, but it's especially difficult to say goodbye to Fleur. Fleur has become a friend. Eleri's chest tightens as she hugs the other woman, and she chokes, "We'll be back to visit, of course. Charlie could never stay away for so long again."
When Fleur pulls back and looks at her, Eleri knows that she's seen it in Charlie's eyes too. Neither of them says another word, though, and they both turn to watch as Charlie makes his way through the room, saying goodbye to each member of the family.
He's said goodbye to his parents, had Molly smile bravely before breaking down and making him promise he'll eat at least four square meals a day. He's hugged Percy, Ron, Hermione, shaken hands with Harry before pulling him into a short hug of his own. He's squeezed Ginny so tightly that she rubbed at her ribs when he eventually let her go. And finally, the only people left are George and Bill. He stops in front of George, and Eleri can see even from where she's standing that he's biting down on his lip, and George sees it too. Without a word, he pulls his older brother into a tight hug, and they thump each other on the back a few times before breaking away. Then George hurries from the room but not before Eleri can see that his face has started to crumple. She feels another stab. She's done this to him. She's taken away another one of his brothers. But before she can think anymore about that, Ginny brushes past her as she follows him out. Ginny saw it too.
And then the only person left for Charlie to say goodbye to is Bill, but as they eye each other, it's clear that neither of them is willing to do this with an audience.
"We'll walk you out," Bill says gruffly, and he reaches for Fleur's hand as she walks to him immediately.
Charlie and Eleri take one last look at the assembled group before they turn to follow his brother and sister-in-law out the door.
They all stop at the gate, just shy of the disapparation point, and Charlie turns to Fleur first, hugging her briefly but very tightly. When he releases her, he and Bill look at each other for a moment before Charlie reaches out a hand to shake Bill's. But Bill pushes his hand aside and pulls him into a hug. For a moment, Charlie stands stiffly, but then he is clutching the back of Bill's shirt in his fist as his shoulders start heaving, and Eleri's eyes start burning as Bill's breathing becomes labored as well. She glances at Fleur, and she isn't surprised to see tears coursing down her friend's cheeks.
It is a long time before Charlie pulls himself out of Bill's embrace, mumbles a quick word that none of them hears, and then he is gone. Eleri casts a quick, pained look at where Fleur is now holding her husband as he mumbles, "I wish – I wish we had dragons here," and then she, too, disapparates.
This is much harder than it should be. She can't help but wonder if they – if he – is making the right decision.
A/N: And Katy, I have to thank you again for both your ideas for this story AND for your own. (Yes, I stole the name of their boss from B&B as well. You're a life saver. I think my stories are more in line with yours than my own!) Please read and REVIEW! There's still a little ways to go.