Okay, final chapter of Part One! Ha! I finally did it!!! I feel good now! For anybody who wants to know, this chap is from Ed's POV. He stole my computer and wrote it out himself and then told me to write the author's note and post it. Ha! I wish. If Edward Elric really stole the computer from me to write fanfic, then I wouldn't be writing this fanfic in the first place, now would I?

As you all know, AdventureAddict does not in any way own any part of Fullmetal Alchemist.

On wit' da show!

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Chapter Twenty-Five - Robins

Rob'in n. brown red-breasted bird of the thrush family.

Or so Webster puts it. But has anyone ever given the little creature more thought than that? Do we even think that an ordinary bird like the robin deserves more than one line in the dictionary? A dictionary is only so big, and we want to save room for the important words. And everyone knows what a robin is, so it shouldn't get more than a line, right?

Most people disregard the common little bird when it sits on a tree in their yard or chirps out a happy little tune in the morning. After all, the robin is just a normal everyday sort of bird, not as eye-catching as a goldfinch or as beautiful as a swan. It's an average bird - not too big or too small, and not extremely colorful, but also not completely plain. Its songs aren't beautiful to stop people in their tracks, but they aren't ugly enough to do the same in worse way either.

And the robin isn't an 'ugly duckling' either. It isn't scorned and shunned for half it's life only to discover that it was destined for much greater things. Robins just live through their short lives dealing with the problems they get. Their problems never magically disappear like the problems of people in books. If there's no good twigs for a nest, then that's just too bad.

And of course there's the old belief that with the first robin comes the arrival of spring. Young children and even adults sometimes have competitions to see who can spot the first robin, all the while thinking of how great spring will be. After a long cold winter, who doesn't welcome the thought of flowers and fresh rain? But it's not the robin that's so wonderful, but the warm weather of spring it represents.

I should have seen her for what she really was the moment she told me her name. I always thought that I was also looking forward to the nice weather of spring, not the robin itself. I never thought that a plain little bird like Robyn could be so beautiful.

After many bleak days, months, and years going by seemingly without any small glimmers of hope, she finally came into my life, making flowers bloom again and snow and ice melt. The spring, but a spring that only I was experiencing. But unlike the bird, Robyn wasthe reason for my spring, because I knew that without her it might not – probably wouldn't - have happened. For the first time in years I felt like hope existed in the world and that anything was possible if you worked hard enough for it.

I guess if that's true, then it means that I didn't work hard enough.

At the time I thought I did, but I must have done something wrong, because in the end it didn't work. And nobody can tell me that I didn't do anything wrong because I know that isn't true. If I didn't do anything wrong, then why isn't Robyn still alive?

I wish I at least knew what I did wrong, even though I know I can't go back and fix it. At least when we failed years ago I realized that it had been my mistake to try and bring the dead back to life. But this time I have no clue what I did wrong. How can I stop this from happening again if I don't know what I did wrong? There's only one thing I can think of that might have caused my downfall.

But is it really so wrong to love a person?

Everyone I have ever cared for has had the same sort of misfortune Robyn did, though some not quite as severe. It's like I'm cursed, but I don't know how to stop it other than locking myself in a room alone for the rest of my life.

How do I stop it, dammit?! How can I protect the people around me? I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me anymore! I thought that Robyn was the proof that I could have friends without them getting hurt, but then she got sick too.

I don't know what to do anymore. I always thought I would know how to attack life with a plan and a bit of alchemy, but I don't feel like I know how to anymore. It's just not as fun anymore. Every time I transmute something or read a book, I always think about what she would think of it. How she would say that my details aren't so great, and then I'd say something like 'if you're so smart then you can make it yourself,' and then she would laugh. And then I can't help but smile back at her, even if it's all in my imagination. I can't do anything without Robyn popping into my head at least once.

Every time I see a robin in a tree or sitting by the road, I almost want to cry, but I can't. I'm a freak that doesn't belong among normal people. I have the curse of hurting everyone who cares about me and then can't shed a single tear for them when they die. I bet Al could do it if he had a body, I know Winry can, and I'm even willing to bet that Roy cried a bit when Hughes died. But I can't. I'm sorry Robyn. I really wish I could cry for you, but I just can't.

How could you have ever loved a bastard like me?

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Yes, it's short. Consider it more of an Epilogue to part one than an entire chapter. Because if you go thinking of it as an entire chapter, then you're going to get mad at me, and we don't want that now do we? Besides, I posted the other two chapters right with it, so it's not like this chapter is all you've had to read for weeks…

End of Part One! Heeeeeehhhhhh. Now on to part two! (cough cough wheeze wheeze)