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I rush into the arms of the Ivashkov boy, a big, goofy grin breaking out on both our faces. We embrace for such a long time, like nothing could seperate us. Sure, I bet Adrian is thinking that I'm going to swoon any minute, but any part of home I can fine, I'll take it without question. I take in Adrian's warmth, his scent of clove-scented cigarettes - that I actually sort of miss - and strong cologne. I back up to face Adrian completely, noticing how much warmer it was when I was hugging him.

I look at my surroundings, noticing we're standing over a thick layer of angelic white snow, a nearby pond frozen from the cold weather. Fir trees surround me, dark green covering up the long, demonic branches that look like they're reaching out for me. Snow piles on the branches, making the trees lean in awkward directions.

"Little dhampir," Adrian says. He looks handsome in the thick black jacket and his hair slicked back, little snowflakes almost making a pattern in his hair.

"Oh, God," I say. "God, I've missed you. . . All of you."

"More than you're letting on?" Adrian asks with a raised eyebrow.

"More than you'll ever know," I say, hugging him again. Adrian wraps his arms around me, and I'm able to feel his chest rise and fall with each breath. I look up at him. Just seeing something familiar makes my heart skip a beat every once in a while. It feels so good to see someone I know.

"I have to say," Adrian says. "You stand out in this snow."

"Huh?" I ask, and look down at my outfit. A black cashmere sweater and black jeans; the complete opposite of the wintry landscape. I look up at Adrian. "Well, at least this time you picked something that I might actually wear."

"Beautiful as always," Adrian comments, mostly to himself.

I look around the forest again, breathing in the crispy cold air. It's beautiful, the white snow and everything else about it. I bend down and touch the snow, quickly bringing my hand back to me.

I stand and face Adrian. "Maybe next time you can make it St. Vladimir's?" I ask, hopeful.

Adrian gives me a mischevious smile. "Little dhampir, I didn't know you liked school."

"I don't," I say. "But I want to see it."

"Is winter wonderland not perfect enough?" Adrian asks, motioning around the snow-covered forest.

I walk up to him and smile. "For now, it is," I say.

"How's your job?" Adrian asks, taking my hand and strolling over to the frozen pond. I stare out over the frozen water. I swear, if this were a real dream, I might just get frostbite.

I take a deep breath, inhaling the air that I can't get enough of. "It's great, actually." I can't bring myself to admit I'm homesick.

"Tell me about the Conta's," Adrian says.

"Um, well, okay," I say, closing my eyes and thinking about my charges'. "Well, there's Vivian Conta; I don't see much of her, though. Her three kids, Wren, Henry, and Alexis. The young ones are cute, but it's obvious Wren doesn't like me."

"Ah, drama," Adrian says with a deep, happy sigh.

I roll my eyes. "Then there's Jack Chang. He's not a Conta; he's a guardian. And then. . . there's Julius."

I don't know if there was something in my voice when I said Julius' name, but Adrian's eyes snap open and he studies me with green eyes almost exactly like Lissa's. "Who is this Julius?"

"Vivian's nephew," I say. "I barely know him," I add quickly, not wanting Adrian to get any ideas about Julius and me.

Adrian stares at me, scanning my face for any emotion. I make sure to wipe my face of anything. I don't want Adrian finding out what I feel about Julius when I don't even know what I feel about him myself.

"God, Adrian," I say when I see him staring intently at me. . . again. "Stop staring at me like I'm a freaking test subject!"

Adrian shrugs. "Just looking, little dhampir."

I turn away from Adrian and take a minute to forget about everything going on where I am. Forget it, Rose. Forget Julius, all of them. I repeat in my mind over and over again, until I'm finally able to push back everything that involves them. I take a few more deep breaths.

And that's when I remember.

I turn on my heel - which is really hard, considering the realistic snow in the dream - and look at Adrian. "St. Vladimir's," I murmur, my breath making little wisps from the fake, but cold, air.

"Hm? What'd you say?" Adrian asks, taking a cigarette out from his pockets. I ignore the clove smell and focus on what I just remembered.

"You were with Lissa and Christian," I explain, "when they announced Strigoi were nearby."

Adrian freezes, his lit cigarette just inches from his mouth. He flicks the cigarette away and faces me, a mischevious smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Little dhampir, have you been spying?"

"No," I answer a little too quickly.

Adrian raises an accusing eyebrow.

I bite my lip and roll my eyes. "Okay, fine. Yes, I've been 'spying'. But only because I need to check up on Lissa."

Adrian only smirks at me.

"What!" I throw my hands in the air, letting them fall to my sides. "Why are looking at me like that!"

"No reason," says Adrian, and a scowl crosses his face when he realizes he's without a cigarette.

"Don't tell Lissa," I tell him. "She doesn't it like it when I'm in her head."

"I doubt anybody likes someone else in their head. Brain surgeons, for instance," Adrian says matter-of-factly.

"So, what's going on at St. Vlad's?" I ask, using the short name for the Moroi school.

"Uh, nothing that concerns you," Adrian says, scoping out the landscape.

I stomp over to Adrian, frigid snow flying in all directions. "You tell me right now, Adrian Ivashkov, or I'm leaving!"

Adrian hesitates, but after a few minutes, he says, "yes, mother."

I don't even blink.

"Fine," Adrian says. "There's been a recent string of attacks, all Strigoi-related. And that long string if victims are. . . leading to the school."

I can't believe my ears. Okay, sure. I heard it myself when I was in Lissa's head. But they didn't reveal that there were a bunch of victims. I manage to keep myself stable and keep pressing Adrian for questions.

"How. . . how many victims?" I ask.

Adrian sighs. "Ten, maybe twelve," he says.

My head spins, and I suddenly feel dizzy. I walk over to a tree, holding on to a trunk for stability. At least until my head stops spinning. Ten, maybe twelve. That's a lot of Strigoi, a dozen, maybe. A dozen Strigoi attacks, all leading to the academy. . .

And Lissa.

But it doesn't make sense. Strigoi don't travel in groups. It's more of a lone-wolf type of thing. Strigoi don't band together. But what about last time? They were in a group, right? Yes, they were. The reason we went to that winter lodge was because of a band of Strigoi. Two Strigoi? No problem. A dozen? A little bit harder.

"But it just doesn't make sense," I mouth my thoughts before I can stop myself. I spare a glance at Adrian who's just watching me closely, ready to jump in and help if I need it. I wave my hand in his direction. "I'm fine, Adrian. Just. . . feeling sick."

"I should have never told you," Adrian mumbles as he walks off to the edge of the pond.

"I would have found out eventually!" I yell after him, jogging to catch up. "You know that."

"Yes, but it would have been better if I hadn't told you," Adrian says. "Lissa will probably be angry with me."

"Why?" I ask. "Does she want to keep this a secret from me?"

Adrian shakes his head. "That's none of your business, Rose."

"That's the problem," I say. "It is my problem."

"Rose-"

"Tell me," I demand, a stern expression on my face.

Adrian hesitates. He avoids having to look at my face. I can understand why. I probably look pretty mad or something. "Lissa's happy for you. You're a guardian, and you have a temporary placement with those gossiping Conta's. It'll give you a better chance at being her guardian when you graduate. If you find out - like you just did - you'll freak out and come rushing back to the academy, to her. You'll be irrational to leave that place; Lissa doesn't want that."

"Of course I'll be irrational," I say. "I need to be there for Lissa, don't you understand? I need to be there to protect her!"

"Rose, please," Adrian says. "She's protected. They're doubling security and the guardian count, and the guardians will be watching out for any signs of mysterious activity. Trust me, she's protected."

"I need to be there, Adrian," I tell him.

"No, you want to be there," says Adrian. "Trust me, you won't be doing any good by coming back. At least not now."

"She'll feel safe," I reply.

"She is safe!" Adrian shouts. "Rose, what will you do? We all know you can fight, why do you need to prove yourself?"

I take a step back, taken by the fact that Adrian is. . . well, angry. "I'm not trying to prove myself. It's my job to protect Lissa."

"Right now, your job is to protect those Conta's."

"They have Jack," I reply stubbornly. I won't take no for an answer. I need to be with Lissa, protect her and keep her safe and secure.

"Yeah?" Adrian says, leaning against a tree. "And what is one guardian going to do against a dozen Strigoi, Rose? Huh? You think about that? St. Vladimir's has probably more than one hundred guardians. That family you're guarding? Well, they only have two. What will happen if you leave and the Strigoi attack them? Tell me, Rose? What will happen to them?"

I think about it. He has a point, even though I hate to admit it. If I leave the family I'm currently guarding to go and be with Lissa, they'll only have Jack. It might be a long time before they find another guardian, and by then, they might be dead. A Strigoi's meal.

"You're. . . you're right," I speak indistinctly.

"I know I am," Adrian replies. "Just think about it, Rose. And when I visit you the next time, I want your answer. Leave to protect Lissa who's already protected, or let that family die at the hands of the Strigoi."

"Adrian, I-"

Before I can finish what I'm saying, the dream begins to shimmer, Adrian and the snow-covered landscape disappear, and I'm left in darkness. Left to a dreamless night and my thoughts.

What am I gonna do?

Apparently, this is the week for letters. I receive one more envelope addressed to me from Vivian, who hands me each letter with a big, smile on her face. I look at the cover of the one and only letter.

Lissa Dragomir.

I don't open the letter until I'm in a private room. I surprise myself when my conscience leads me to the library, my mind handling too much to pick a better location. Before I sit down, I scan the room to make sure Julius isn't in here. When I'm satisfied he's not currently in my presence, I take a seat at the demonic desk, propping my feet on the oak table. I throw the envelope on the desk; it scatters over the smooth surface. I look at the letter from Lissa. Always will she come first.

Dear Rose,

God, I miss you. . . That's not what I meant to put first, though. Rose, I'm so confused. There's so much going on at St. Vladimir's, good and bad - nothing you should worry about. But it's all so much to handle. You understand the feeling, right? Oh, God, if you were here, you could tell me what to do. I'm just so, so confused. You would know what to do about these problems. Not all of them are mine, either. Some are much bigger problems than that of what to wear. . . I shouldn't be joking.

I need you, Rose.

I hear myself, re-reading the letter over and over again. Listen to how selfish I'm sounding. I should be asking you how you are, is the job fun, and whether or not the Conta family has any cute boys. I sometimes wish we were normal, ordinary, so we could talk about those kind of things. I'll send you more soon. It'd be easier if we could talk on the phone. I can't get ahold of one right now, though. Besides, it's easier to write things down than to text you my problems. Come back soon, Rose. Please.

In the meanwhile, kick some butt and do what you do best.

Be a guardian. . .

Yours Sincerely, Lissa

I stare at the letter, looking at the pretty cursive-writing of Lissa. If only I could tell how much I miss her too. I remind myself to get to work on writing a letter back to her. Not now, but later. I think about what Adrian said, about leaving the Conta's to their death. But, what if the Strigoi don't come for them? I sigh and shake my head, picking up the envelope and shoving the letter back inside. I stand from the desk and walk over to the creepy floor-to-ceiling window, staring out at the snow that falls. Hopefully it'll stop soon.

I get out of the library when I think I've been in there too long. It's Julius' turf, and I don't want him catching me. I'm finally taking action in avoiding him for as long as I can and as much as I can. For the rest of the day, the Conta family seems to be hanging out in their rooms. It's one of those days that drag on, and it sucks because just last night I was enjoying myself, with Adrian. Well, mostly. At least until I made him tell me the truth about the Strigoi.

And truthfully, I'm in complete and utter turmoil.

I have no idea what to do. Pick Lissa, the person I've known all my life, the closest thing I have to a sister, my bondmate, or the Conta family, the ones that desperately need my protection. As much as I despise having to admit it, I know that the Conta's need me more. More than Lissa does at the moment. It's complicated. And really, it is. All of it is complicated. Every time I weigh my options, there's always something that tips the scale and messes me up. Who do I choose? How can I choose? To decide between Lissa and the Conta's is hard, because I know Adrian is right.

What will happen if you leave and the Strigoi attack them? Tell me, Rose? What will happen to them?

"God, Adrian," I say to myself. "I highly dislike you right about now."

I have two choices. The last living Dragomir princess who brought me back to life when I died, or the Moroi family that I'm with right now. The ones that need me the most. Lissa has protection, lots of it, actually. The Conta have only Jack, and me. How is that fair if I leave them for a girl who has enough security and protection already?

I can already tell my decision will be hard to make, because these Conta's are great. But Lissa is everything. Her and Dimitri were the two things that I lived for. Still do. But she's safe at St. Vladimir's, surrounded by trained guardians, ready to fight with their stakes and their strength, for Lissa and all the other Moroi and dhampirs in the school. They would risk their lives to protect her. She has dozens upon dozens of dhampir guardians willing to die for her. But these Conta's? They only have two willing guardians, and that's not a lot at all. It's unfair, and it's dangerous. And quite frankly, my decision might affect whether or not they live or die. Is that fair? Absolutely not. But it's nessecary for me to stay here, keep Henry and Alexis and Wren and everyone else safe. And knowing that I can protect these people makes me want to do it. It makes me want to prove to Adrian that I'm not acting selfish. I'm not going to be irrational. That's the old Rose. I'm mature now, brave and willing to sacrifice lots of things for these people. Including my life.

It's difficult, and I'm still having my doubts, but I truly believe that if I stay, I can save these people from the murdering, savage hands of the Strigoi. The Strigoi are heartless, and they'll tear out little Alexis' throat as fast as they can. It's all a matter of time before we discover if the Strigoi come after the academy, and maybe, just maybe, they come after us. It's important that I'm here with them, protecting them from the evil clutches of the undead. Even if they don't come, I can protect them. If I'm here, I can save Alexis from the Strigoi.

I can save them all.