Stupid Love

Chapter Three

Pairing: Hijack

Word Count: 1515

Warnings: Mild language, really sexy cars

I don't own any Dreamworks Animation characters.

The door opened with a loud bang and Jack pulled Hiccup along behind him, briskly making his way into the parking lot with a proud smirk.

"You know," Hiccup groaned, trying to pull his wrist out of Jack's tight grasp, "I've just about had my fill of being dragged places I really don't-"

Jack came to a stop as he reached his car and Hiccup yanked his arm back, rolling his shoulder with a scowl. Jack turned to him, his smirk still present, and dramatically motioned to the clearly-expensive vehicle behind him.

Hiccup took one look and felt his mouth fall open.

"That is your car?"

Jack grinned widely, nodding and turning back to admire his car alongside the slack-jawed Hiccup.

"Yep," he replied, "that's my Baby Tooth."

Hiccup's mouth continued to hang open, his eyes frantically scanning the car in disbelief.

"But...but that's… That's a…!"

Jack pulled an arm around the brunette's shoulder,

"2012 Pagani Hyuayra," he elaborated. "Gold-dusted silver custom paint. Golden leather interior."

Hiccup felt his legs begin to tremble, wanting to step forward to get a better look.

"Oh, wow…" he gasped out.

Jack smiled, continuing,

"Twin-turbo V12 under the hood. Vertical doors, standard."

Hiccup couldn't help himself, breaking away from Jack's grip again, he inched toward the golden car with trembling hands.

"It's...beautiful," he choked out, staring in wonder at the car as in shined in the pale light coming from the nearby streetlight. "It's so fucking beautiful."

Jack smirked,

"That she is," he agreed, taking a walk around his car to meet back up with Hiccup again on the other side.

"My Baby Tooth is my favorite thing in the whole world. No one could ever replace her."

Hiccup blinked before glancing over his shoulder at Jack.

"Baby Tooth?" he questioned.

Jack waved him off,

"That's her name," he replied simply. "What? Like your car doesn't have a name?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes,

"Well...it does, but-"

His gaze traveled back to the car, his train of thought completely lost. Jack waited a moment before laughing.

"Not as cool as mine, huh?" he guessed. "I get it. No need to be jealous. Baby Tooth is a hard name to beat."

Hiccup scrunched his nose,

"Ha, yeah, right."

Jack stood back a moment, taking a quick look around at the rest of the cars in the parking lot.

"So, where's your car?" he asked.

Hiccup sighed, finally turning away from the car.

"I told you, I was dragged here."

Jack shot him a confused stare,

"Literally?"

Hiccup groaned,

"Figuratively. In that."

He pointed past Jack toward another car parked a couple steps away. Jack glanced over, spotting the blue car and walking over to get a better look.

"Ooh, is this the Camaro?" he inquired.

Hiccup smiled a moment, following Jack over to the car.

"Her name's Stormfly. And she is a hell of a machine."

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked toward the rear of the car, checking it over. He clicked his tongue, noting,

"American muscle never looks as fine as an import."

He glanced over at Hiccup's unamused expression.

"But they sure can growl," he added with a big grin.

Hiccup touched his hand to the hood, the cool metal feeling good in the humid, sticky heat of the night.

"Well, this one's bite is just as bad as its bark," he replied, running his hand over the side before removing it again. "Trust me."

As he peered back over to Jack, their eyes met and the sudden silence hung in the air. Blinking quickly and glancing back at the car, Jack narrowed his eyes, asking,

"So, you're driving this sweet honey home?"

Hiccup stared down at the car before frowning. He certainly hoped he was driving Stormfly home. He looked back up at Jack,

"If you get in your baby and leave, then yes," he replied with a smirk, "I will."

Jack laughed, walking back over to Hiccup with a matching smile.

"Ah, now, that's no fun!" he told him. "I never go home unless there is someone in that passenger seat."

He pointed a thumb to his car, only admiring it for a moment. Hiccup stepped up, joking,

"And how many years has it been sitting there?"

Jack frowned, looking back at Hiccup just to glare at him.

"You're not as funny as you think you are," he told him coldly. Hiccup laughed out loud, replying,

"I beg to differ."

Jack rolled his eyes,

"You would."

Hiccup leaned back against Stormfly, crossing his arms and watching Jack's magnificent car as it sat under the streetlight quietly.

"Seriously," he piped up, "when was the last time you actually got a girl to go home with you?"

Jack smirked, pulling a hand to his chin,

"Well…"

"Without paying them," Hiccup added quickly.

"Hey," Jack scoffed. "Sometimes, the car is all I need."

Hiccup shook his head,

"Until they realize there's a prick driving it."

Jack glared down at him again,

"I'll have you know," he responded, "I took a nice blonde out last night."

Hiccup bit back a laugh, asking,

"Did you even make it out of the parking lot?"

"What?" Jack scowled, unamused, "Of course! I mean, she only let me drop her off at her place, though…"

"That happen a lot?" Hiccup smirked.

Jack sighed,
"Nah, it usually gets to the pickup line and just stops there."

Hiccup rolled his eyes, completely unsurprised.

"I told you, women hate that stuff."

Jack pouted, frowning pitifully at him,

"Yeah, but I don't know what else to try!" he confessed.

Hiccup grumbled,

"Well, being nice might be a good idea."

Jack shook his head, turning to look back at his car.

"I can't be nice. Being nice doesn't bring the asses home." He cocked his head to the side, adding, "No offense."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow,

"What do you mean 'no offense'?" he glowered, "What are you saying?"

Jack innocently continued,

"That's what you do, right? Play nice? Let 'em walk all over you?"

Hiccup pushed himself off the car and glared at the white-haired dolt next to him.

"What? No! Why would you-"

Jack's eyes widened, as though completely surprised by Hiccup's response.

"Really?" he asked, curious. "How do you do it, then? 'Cause I'm open for ideas."

Hiccup was at a loss of words. He scratched the back of his head, stammering,

"I-I don't… I'm not even-"

Jack rolled his eyes,

"Come on!" He griped, motioning to Stormfly, "Isn't this your girlfriend's car?"

Hiccup groaned, sputtering,

"What? No!"

Jack laughed, not believing him.

"But you did all that work on it!" he continued. "You got dragged here by her! You're even tryin' to get rid of me for her!"

Hiccup glared at Jack, fed up and shouting,

"She's my best friend!"

Jack scoffed one last time, saying,

"What, so you haven't fuc-"

"I'M GAY!" Hiccup yelled at him, cutting him off.

Jack just closed his mouth, his lips falling into a flat line as Hiccup breathed heavily, his eyes wide. Hiccup bit his lip, trying to collect his thoughts but he just let out a guttural "aghhhhhh" as he deflating, falling against the car again.

Jack just stood there, slowly blinking before finally responding,

"Oh."

Hiccup swallowed dryly, unable to even look over at Jack's dumbfounded expression as he worked through everything in his head.

"Well…" he continued, "no...no, that explains a lot, actually."

Hiccup looked up, confused,

"What?" he asked. "No, it doesn't."

Jack smiled, triumph all over his face.

"Yeah! That's why you agreed to 'get rid of me' for...whatever-her-name-is."

Hiccup facepalmed, shaking his head. This couldn't possibly get any worse.

"Her name is Astrid," he told him bluntly.

Jack laughed,

"Yeah, that." he said. "You just wanted me to yourself, huh?"

Hiccup glared up at Jack, but he was having none of it, smirking away. Hiccup pushed himself off the car and began to walk towards the doors to the bar again.

"Where are you goin'?" Jack asked, still smirking.

Hiccup gritted his teeth,

"I'm gonna steal Astrid's keys," he told him without looking back. "I am so done with this shit."

Jack hopped up, rushing up behind Hiccup with a smile.

"Hey, it's okay! I understand! I'm irresistable!" he chuckled.

Hiccup bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. He puffed a breath out his nose quickly before coming to a halt and flipping around to face a now-startled Jack.

"You want to know why you can never get a girlfriend?" he steamed, glaring death straight into Jack's eyes. "It's because you're you."

Jack took a cautious step back, but Hiccup followed, pointing a finger to his chest accusingly.

"But you can't change that, can you?" he jeered at him. "Guess that means you better just marry your hand while you still got it, 'cause it's all you're EVER GONNA HAVE."

And with that, Hiccup swiftly flipped back around and stomped back into the bar, leaving Jack wide-eyed and silently glancing down at his right hand.