Goodbye and Hello

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

"The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have." Ring Lardner.

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Chapter 8

Johnny knew all along that Joanne would blame him for what happened and now it was confirmed by the look she just gave him. It was his job to keep Roy safe and he had failed both of them miserably this time. Now she would probably shut him out of her life and probably Roy's but he still had to tell her how sorry he was. How he tried so hard to get Roy out for her. He knew she wouldn't understand but it was something he felt he needed to do. Maybe after a while she would find a way to forgive him, to maybe let him be a part of their lives again. He would miss them so much, maybe more than he could handle. But he wouldn't think about that right now. It was just too hard to think about not having them in his life anymore. Right now he just had to talk to her, to tell her how sorry he was for letting this happen.

He let Mike and Chet guide him into the elevator and upstairs to the ICU waiting room. His only hope now was that he would get to see Roy again, if Joanne would allow him.

Before the others arrived Dixie called Joanne into Roy's room to be with him. She stood inside the doorway and paused. Roy was in a coma, the machines surrounded him making beeps and buzzes that assaulted her senses immediately. Dixie took her arm and guided her to the side of his bed.

"He's not breathing on his own right now; the ventilator is doing all the work for him. We want his lungs to rest and heal." Dixie was concerned because Joanne didn't even try to touch him, to hold his hand.

"Don't be afraid of him Joanne. He needs to know you're here," she told her hoping to encourage her to make some form of contact with him. Any contact.

"Dixie, is he going to make it?" She said quietly while she looked at him. It didn't even look like her Roy.

"Jo, he's strong and healthy…"

"Dix," Joanne turned and locked eyes with her.

"We don't know. He's very sick. The next 24 hours will be critical."

Hank paced the waiting room trying to process the last few hours and to figure out how everything went to hell. Chet, Marco, and Mike stayed close to Johnny as he had gone back into a blank, empty stare. Hank looked up to see Joanne come out of Roy's room and pause outside the door before coming down to the waiting room.

He walked up to her but stopped when she put her hands up, "Don't Hank. I can't do this."

Seeing that she was overwhelmed he wanted her to know they would be there for them. "Joanne, we're her for you and Roy. For anything you need. You know that right?"

"No Hank, I mean I can't do this anymore." She slowly shook her head then looked over to the group of men. She focused on Johnny. "He considers all of you his family. That was really made clear to me this week."

"Joanne, he loves you," Hank said trying to figure out what she was talking about. He looked up to see Dixie standing behind them.

"Yes." She paused, "I know he loves me but this…I just can't take it anymore." She looked at Hank, no longer angry as her eyes softened and tears started to form. "I can't…I can't be a fireman's wife anymore."

Hank just stared at her in disbelief at what he was hearing. At a loss for words, he looked over to see Chet and the others who were now on their feet, including Johnny.

Johnny moved over to her. "Jo, don't do this. Roy needs you now more than ever," he said softly taking her arms, wanting to hug her and console her. He loved her, she was his family and he didn't want her to hurt anymore.

But she couldn't handle what was going on suddenly felt a need to run. To get as far away as possible. Feeling like she was being held in place she pushed Johnny away. He was so startled by her response that he stumbled backwards, getting tangled in his blanket and lost his footing, hitting the floor. Chet was immediately at his side kneeling down beside him making sure to not take his eyes off Joanne.

She looked down at him with tears in her eyes knowing deep down that she had really hurt him. But other feelings were pushing their way to the surface, anger, blame, resentment. Then she looked in his eyes and took a deep breath, "You're the closest thing he has ever had to a brother and he trusts you with his life. Take care of him Johnny." She looked at all of them, "You guys have been his family for a long time and now I know you will be there for him. I'm sorry."

Before they could recover from what she was saying she turned and got on the elevator. As the doors closed they could see the tears running down her face.

Johnny lightly pushed Chet's hands away and walked past Hank and Dixie into Roy's room leaving the stunned crew and Dixie to deal with what just happened.

"Cap, how can she do that?" Marco was bewildered.

Mike was shocked, "She just left him?"

Hank had to get some type of control, and fast. He didn't want the fellows talking about it when Johnny was within earshot. He couldn't take it right now. Turning to them, "This won't be discussed here. Right now our priority is Roy."

The room now empty Johnny moved over to Roy's side. He looked so different all hooked up to the monitors and IV's, so invaded. So alone. Taking the chair in the room he pulled it up beside the bed and sat down on the edge of the seat to talk to his friend.

"God Roy, what am I supposed to tell you? How can I ever tell you what just happened? I just don't know Roy. I don't know how you're going to get through this without her. But I'll tell ya one thing. Joanne was right about us being your family too and I can promise you that me and the guys won't walk out on you." He leaned in closer to Roy, "We're going to see you through this buddy."

"How's our patient doing Dix?" Joe asked her as he approached the nurse's station.

"Depends on which patient you're referring to?" There was no inflection to her voice, she was tired and still in a state of disbelief over what had happened earlier.

"We'll let's check on them both." He could see that Dixie was upset about what had happened to Roy. He put his hand on her shoulder as they walked down to the room. He glanced into the waiting room to see the Engine crew still waiting and smiled. They were a tight crew, more so than any other one he had seen. Roy was lucky to have such good friends by his side. Only thing was, he didn't know how much he would need them to get through this.

They came into the room and found Johnny sleeping in the chair. Dixie went to his side and swept her fingers tenderly across his forehead, pushing the dark curls from his face. He opened up his eyes and sat up in the chair, "Hey Dix."

"I just want to get some vitals on you, okay? Then you can go back to sleep," she said soothingly to him.

"Okay." He looked like a little child just woken up from a disturbing dream.

Joe leaned down, "How's your breathing Johnny?" He listened to his lungs.

He just nodded, "Better, I'm not coughing anymore. How's Roy doing?"

Joe moved to check on Roy next. Johnny got up and stood beside the bed, intently watching everything that Joe did. "He's stable right now Johnny. We will keep him in a drug induced coma for now and give his body some time to recover. You should go home and get some rest yourself."

Johnny looked at him like he had lost his mind. Leave? He had to be kidding. It would take an act of congress to get him to move from this spot anytime soon. Sitting back down in the chair he looked over to Dixie for support.

"I'll get you a pillow," she said and smiled knowing he wasn't going anywhere. Joe thought about protesting but the look that Dixie shot him made him think better of it.

Hank saw Joe coming down the hallway as he left the ICU area. He came up to the weary looking crew seeing a couple of them sleeping in the chairs. "Hank."

"Doc. How's he doing?"

Joe smiled, "Depends on which patient you're asking about. Roy is stable. Johnny seems to be doing better although I think he needs to go home and get some rest but he's protesting."

Hank arched his eyebrows, "Honestly doc I wouldn't expect anything less from him after what he's been through tonight. Can he stay for a while?"

"Of course, Dixie is already trying to put him to bed for a while. We'll let you know if anything changes, for either of them."

"Thanks doc. We will head out, our shift is almost over and we need to get the equipment back. We'll be back soon. Dixie has my number if you need anything before then."

Hank moved over to his sleeping men and worked on waking them up. The sun was coming up and he knew they had to get back. He was thankful to the Chief for letting them stay the rest of the night at the hospital with Roy. Marco, Mike and Chet stood up and stretched out their sore muscles from trying to catch some zzz's in the chairs.

"Let's check on Johnny and Roy before we head out," Hank said.

Hank opened the door quietly in hopes of not disturbing anyone and was glad he did. They filed in the room to find Johnny sound asleep in the chair, resting on the pillow Dixie had given him. He was still in his turnout clothes but Hank wasn't about to wake him up at this point. He needed the sleep. They all silently checked on Roy, telling him goodbye for now then filed out to go home. Knowing that the crew had a lot they would need to talk about and vent he decided to have them over to his house for lunch. Luckily this was their three day weekend stretch off, giving them time to gather their thoughts and giving Hank time to try to help Joanne through this crisis.

Change of shift was quiet amongst the men as they reported off and headed home for some rest. Hank updated the oncoming Captain regarding what had happened to Roy but chose to leave out the incident with Joanne for now. Last thing he needed was this type of personal family crisis flying through the district like wildfire. He climbed into his truck and drove home in his own state of silence.