Stupid Love - Chapter Eight
Pairing: Hijack
Word Count: 1854
Warnings: Lots of language, some cat-calling, Jack being a misogynistic jerk, Astrid getting angry
I do not own any rights to any Dreamworks Animation characters.
"I gotta admit," Hiccup grinned, "this is pretty awesome, Jack."
The two were walking past the several cars parked on display on the campground parking lot, music and lights blaring all around them.
"Good to hear," Jack smiled back, his eyes constantly scanning the people around them.
"I'm glad I can check off doing this for my bucket list," Hiccup joked, "especially since Astrid is totally gonna kill me later."
Jack rolled his eyes, turning to the shorter man, "Would you quit worrying? She's not going to know."
Hiccup shook his head, replying simply,
"You don't know Astrid."
Jack laughed. This guy was just as pathetic as he looked, apparently.
"Just come up with a good lie and you'll be fine…" he told him, looking around again. His eyes rested on a woman standing next to a blue Charger and he grinned.
"Speaking of fine…"
He shot a hand in the air and waved it about frantically, shouting,
"HEY!"
The woman didn't look up, so Jack proceeded to run over. Hiccup, unsure what was going on, followed him.
Jack sauntered up to the woman and she looked up just as he shoved his hands in his pockets and stated,
"Whoo, look at you!"
The girl eyed him suspiciously before he continued,
"Babe, you're lucky bein' sexy ain't a crime, or you'd be guilty as charged!"
"Fuck you," she glared, flipping him the bird. Jack smirked,
"Wouldn't you like to?"
Hiccup watched the trainwreck before him, letting out a faint, "Jack, seriously, don't-" but the idiot didn't seem to hear it.
Lucky for Jack, the girl just walked away, leaving him there with his defeat.
"These girls,I swear," he muttered, turning to Hiccup. "They have no idea what they're missing out on."
Hiccup shook his head, not the least bit surprised by any of this.
"I assure you, they don't care," he told Jack blandly.
Jack glanced past Hiccup to some ladies strolling by, smiling before cupping his hands over his mouth and shouting,
"HEY, NICE TITS!"
Hiccup pushed him back,
"Would you stop that?"
Jack smirked,
"What?" he snickered.
Hiccup glared at him, replying,
"You're gonna get yourself murdered if don't quit it!"
Jack waved him off, turning and walking back through the lot. Hiccup continued to give him the stink-eye, so he defended, saying,
"Oh, come on! I'm being nice!"
Hiccup smarted,
"No, you're being an asshole."
Jack just looked away,
"I do what I have to to get a date, Hiccup," he replied. "I don't expect you to understand."
Hiccup hastily rushed forward and stood in front of Jack, making him stop in his tracks. Hiccup frowned, inquiring,
"Remember that not-so-fun conversation from yesterday?"
Jack tried to think for a moment, but then stared at Hiccup blankly, asking,
"Which one?"
Hiccup stared back,
"The one about how you can't treat women like that? Ringing any bells?"
Jack scratched his head, trying to remember.
"Oh...right. That."
Hiccup folded his arms, expecting more of a response, but Jack just scoffed.
"No, yeah, but I told you that being nice doesn't work."
Hiccup narrowed his eyes,
"Have you even tried it?"
"Yes! And it doesn't work!"
Hiccup gritted his teeth and pushed past Jack, walking the opposite way. Jack glanced back,
"Where are you going?" he asked.
Hiccup kept walking away, shouting,
"I'm leaving!"
Jack, confused, ran after Hiccup and caught up to him.
"Aw, what?" he asked, "But-"
Hiccup cut him off, saying,
"I have to pick up Astrid soon and I'd rather not have to be around you anymore if at all possible."
Hiccup turned, ducking behind a crowd of people to lose the white-haired jerk following him.
Jack paused,
"What-dude, come on!" he called out, "But we were having so much fun!"
Hiccup sighed, looking around for Stormfly, murmuring to himself,
"Yeah, when you weren't being a complete ass…"
Jack glanced around him, having lost Hiccup for good in the crowd.
"Well, see you around," he muttered. "I guess."
Astrid tapped her foot on the ground, her arms folded over her chest and her purse dangling from her shoulder as she stood on the curb at the end of the parking lot. Hiccup rounded the corner in Stormfly, biting his lip as he slowed to a stop in front of his best friend. She glared at him as she pulled open the passenger door, huffing,
"I've been waiting here for nearly twenty minutes."
Hiccup glanced over at the clock. He could have sworn he was making good time...
"What took you so long?" Astrid asked, shutting the door and shoving her purse down at her feet. Hiccup licked his lips. Here it goes.
"Oh, uhh…" he started, "I was just...uhh, finishing up a level."
Astrid rolled her eyes,
"You and your video games, I swear."
Hiccup smiled, driving down the street again to take Astrid home. He shrugged, sheepishly replying,
"Yeah, ha, sorry…"
Astrid leaned back in her seat, rubbing at her shoulder. She struck up the small talk, asking,
"So, what did you do tonight? Other than play some stupid game…?"
Hiccup tapped his finger on the steering wheel.
"Uhh, well…" he responded. "That's about it. Yep, just playin' video games all night and day. What else would there be to do?"
Astrid seemed satisfied with his answer and glanced behind her. Her eyes widened, and she remarked,
"It looks like you cleaned out Stormfly. Thanks."
Hiccup held his breath.
"Huh? Oh, yeah..."
Right, how was he going to explain that? He exhaled, trying to sound convincing as he replied,
"Yeah...uhh, I thought I would make sure I got her back to you all shiny and squeaky clean."
Astrid sat back and eyed him. After the silence lasted almost a minute, Hiccup felt himself begin to panic. He glanced warily at Astrid, somewhat-defensively asking,
"What?"
Astrid crossed her arms again, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Alright, what are you hiding?" She questioned.
"What?" he squeaked, "I-I'm not hiding anything. What could I possibly be hiding?"
"I don't know…" Astrid replied. She leaned back and sighed,
"So, what game did you play for…" She glanced at the clock on the dash. "...six hours?"
Hiccup licked his lips, trying to think of the last game he'd played,
"Uhh…"
Astrid's eyes widened and she turned to stare at him.
"See? You are lying!" she accused.
Hiccup clutched the steering wheel. This wasn't working. Why wasn't this working?
"What? No!" he responded hastily, "I just… I played more than one game."
"What ones?" she questioned.
"Uhm, you know, the...uhh…"
"You are the world's worst liar, Hiccup, I swear," Astrid responded coolly. "What did you do? Why did you clean my car-"
She gasped and peered over at Hiccup, horrified.
Hiccup, eyes wide with confusion, cautiously asked,
"...what?"
Astrid looked nauseous as she fearfully asked,
"Oh, my Gods, did you have sex with some dude in my baby?"
Hiccup swerved the car, slowing down before turning another corner.
"What? No! Why would I even- you know I wouldn't do that!" he argued.
Astrid stared at backseat of her car,
"Did you spill something in here? What did you do?"
Hiccup frowned,
"I d-didn't do anything!"
"Don't you lie to me!" Astrid shouted, and then punched his arm roughly.
"Ow!"
Hiccup swerved again, grabbing the bottom of the wheel with his right hand so he could rub his now sore shoulder.
"Okay, okay, I- I raced...with Jack," he conceded. "We were- I wasn't planning to! It wasn't even my idea! He talked me into it!"
Astrid was quiet. Hiccup wasn't sure what scared him more, the sudden silence or the imminent doom that was about to befall him. A few moments passed, and he finally got the courage to look over, asking,
"Astrid?"
Astrid continued to stare forward, a completely unreadable expression on her face.
"Pull over."
Hiccup glanced back as she spoke,
"What?"
"Stop the car right now, Hiccup."
He slowly pulled over under a dim streetlight, a little ways away from the next stop sign. Shifting into park, he cautiously eyed his best friend.
"Are you gonna hit me again?" he questioned.
"Did you win?" she asked instantly.
Hiccup gave her a confused look, replying,
"What? The race? ...no. Almost, but no."
Astrid finally turned her head to look at him, simply saying,
"Get out."
Hiccup stared back blankly,
"What?"
Her eyes narrowed and she yelled,
"I said, Get. Out."
Hiccup couldn't have unbuckled his seatbelt any faster.
"Okay, geez!" he told her, scampering out of the car.
Astrid slowly opened her door, stepped out and looked around. Hiccup figured she must have been checking for witnesses. She slammed her door and glared back at Hiccup,
"I can't believe you ran off and raced in my baby!" she suddenly shouted at him. "And you let that slimeball Jack talk you into it?! I thought you were just gonna get rid of him, not become his plaything!"
Hiccup made a face,
"Hey, I'm not-"
"I'M NOT FINISHED!" Astrid screeched. Hiccup froze as she stomped over to him, far more than just anger in her eyes.
"You raced Jack in my baby," she continued. "And then, to top it off, you lost. Do you have any idea how pissed off I am right now?!"
Hiccup swallowed loudly.
"Uhm, maybe?" he tried. "But why does it matter that I lost-"
Astrid grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, shouting right in his face,
"You could have destroyed my car! You could have been caught racing and my car could have been impounded! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"
Hiccup visibly shook. This was not going to end well. Oh, she really WAS going to kill him! There had to be a way out of this...
"But...but, it was Jack's idea!" he argued, blaming the true criminal of this mess. "He was the one who invited me-"
"But you went along with it, Hiccup!" Astrid pushed him back, "YOU did that. YOU drove my car. You are the empty-headed moron here, not him or anybody else."
Hiccup sighed. She was right. He was the one who went with Jack to the race and then agreed to race him. There was no excuse for what he did. He frowned,
"I- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Astrid."
Astrid scoffed,
"Yeah, I'm sure you are. Better think about how sorry you really are as you walk home."
She pulled open the driver-side door. Hiccup's face fell.
"What? Astrid!" he cried as she got in. "It's, like, 4 in the morning and I'm miles away from my apartment! You can't just-"
She shouted, "Yes, I can!" and then slammed the door closed. Pulling back out of park, she sped off, leaving Hiccup standing there under the streetlight.
He looked down at his shoes, muttering,
"...I think I should have just let her think I had sex in her car…"