Round 13: Lord Beerus
On their cozy little temple on top of Mt. Fuji, the Blades felt it as soon as the Kais did. "Well, that's worth paying attention to." Nightshade said. Looking up from the book he was reading: Sun Tzu's Art of War.
"Well, you couldn't expect him to nap forever, could ya?" Kinshiro said as me and him were in an intense game of MKX, him using Kano as I used Mileena (good luck with the reference).
"Yeah. Gods may ignore people forever, but they don't sleep forever." I agreed.
"True enough. I guess I'll go let Mom and Dad know Lord Beerus is awake, since you guys are too busy *cough, cough* lazy! *cough, cough* to do it yourselves." Katana said.
"We already know, Katana. Don't worry, dear. If he comes to Earth, I'll deal with him personally." A woman's voice rang out, to which we all looked to it.
To the fight...
Beerus quickly beat down the Z fighters and looked to his attendant. "Hey, Whis! Hurry up! I'm destroying Earth and going home!" Beerus called.
"Really? Well, I can't have you doing that, Lord Beerus." A woman's voice echoed. This caught his attention as he turned around and saw bone hands rising from the ground, clasped together, opening and sinking back into the ground to reveal a woman, 6'6" in a black kimono dress, matching perfectly with her black hair done back in a shoulder-length ponytail. The mother of all the previous fighters in this story-
"Shizune Blade. The Death Blade. It's been quite a while since I've seen you. I believe it was just before my last nap when you had your last set of children, which the gods needed to be there for. 15 years ago, now wasn't it?" He asked.
"A bit longer, my lord. Star, Chirisa and Moonlight are 21 now." She said.
"Another Blade? And she's the mother of all the ones we know so far!?" Krillin said in disbelief.
"Really. Must've slept a bit longer than I thought. Anyway, I suggest you and your clan return to Hell for a bit. I'm destroying this planet." He said.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Lord Beerus. I may be a spirit of death, but I can't simply let you destroy everyone and thing on this planet." She said.
"Very well, then. If there's no Super Saiyan God, I'll just fight the daughter of the god of death and goddess of hell. Decent trade-off." He said, actually taking a stance.
"Indeed. I may actually use 25% of my power." Shizune said, taking her own stance.
"Oh, dear, Lord Beerus. Perhaps even YOU may have bit off more than you can chew this time." Whis said as he tried another piece of sea urchin sushi.
Background Music: "The God That Failed" by Metallica
Lord Beerus lunged forward and attacked, but Shizune elegantly dodged every strike, on occasions even landing a smack to Lord Beerus' face and staggering him. Beerus growled at this and began to use even more power, but Shizune kept up with him the entire time. She dodged a powerful ki blast that destroyed a parked convertible (I'm kinda jealous of people with convertibles) and summoned a bone hand to rise from the ground and grab Beerus' ankle, trapping him and distracting him long enough for her to fly in and throw a round kick to the side of his head, sending him flying into the pool.
"Now, I'm mad!" He said, shooting ki blasts in every direction, many of them at the party guests or buildings, but Shizune opened up portals from hell, releasing her royal guards: 8 foot skeletal, draconic warrior with shields made of Infernium, an indestructible metal that can only be wielded by undead warriors or Shinigamis, each of them taking point and shielding the citizens and buildings from the blasts, before rushing in at the God of Destruction and attacking with their shields. But as elite and undead as they may be, no handful of soldiers are a match for a god and once Beerus got around their shields, it was all over for them. But their sacrifice was not in vein, as Shizune used the opening they gave to land another handful of smacks to Beerus' face and a kick to his chest, sending him flying through the buffet table, covering him in most the stuff that was on it.
"Oh, my, Lord Beerus, you've gotten so filthy. Don't worry, I'll help clean you off." She said. Then, two hands of bone rose from the ground and grabbed the god, lifting him while restraining him and allowing Shizune to throw another kick that sent him back into the pool.
The water went flying and the pool shattered as Beerus powered up to full and flew at- "SHIZUNE!" He shouted, throwing a left haymaker and hitting her directly in the face, snapping her head back and causing her to stagger back 2 steps. The Z fighters looked in horror as they knew the fight was now over, as they had taken hits at less than 20% of his power and were put down effortlessly, but to their shock, Shizune still stood and lowered her head down to face the god with a smirk. "What!?" Beerus asked in disbelief.
"Please, Lord Beerus. I've had 14 children in 4 sets of 3 and a set of 2. Compared to that, your strongest punch only feels like a bee sting. Now, it's my turn." She said, rushing in and throwing a right haymaker, spinning the god in a 360, before throwing a left palm strike to the right side of his face, sending him into another 360, followed up by a kick that sent the god into the air about 8 feet, at which point she threw and uppercut, hitting him in the back of the head, knocking him even higher into the air and jumping up after him, creating a giant glowing green dragon skull the size of the Capsule Corp building and smashing it into him, sending him into the ground and creating a crater big enough for a wrecking ball to comfortably fit into.
End music
He grunted as he sat up with difficulty, sitting with his legs crossed and a tired expression on his face, rubbing his fist over his face, before looking up at her. "Well, it certainly looks like I've found my rival. Very good job, Shizune. I've calmed down now. It certainly looks like I've destroyed enough Earth to make amends for what happened." He said.
Shizune smiled at the god after he said this. "Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that. And don't worry, Lord Beerus, you are welcome to come to my home. You can have pudding there. After all, it's not very often we have gods for guests. I might even be able to get Katana to make her special Oreo Lasagna for you!" She said brightly (Oreos, chocolate pudding, Cool Whip, Oreo crumbles on top. Try looking it up. It's delicious).
"That sounds delicious! In that case, I accept!" He said, jumping up instantly.
"Oh, Shizune? By any chance, would I be a plus one if Lord Beerus is invited?" Whis asked.
"Of course, Whis! Like I said, we don't get very many guests at all, let alone GODS. So yes, you're more than welcome to come over." She said, then looked towards the party-goers. "And if any of you want, you could come over as well. It would give my servants more time to fix the place up." Shizune said, everyone looking to see more regular-looking skeletons starting to fix the damage the two deities caused.
"Sounds good to me!" Bulma cheered. Happy endings, all around! Yay!
Round 14: Frieza and his soldiers
After successfully reviving Frieza, the remnants of the Planet Trade Organization gathered all their remaining members and flew back to Earth so old Freezy could settle his score with me after rigorous training (hidden reference). The Z fighters arrived as the ship was preparing touch down, but were surprised to find 15 familiar figures already there, along with one they've never seen before. Taller than the others, sharing Piccolo's height of 7 feet tall, with shoulder-length hair much like Sai's, but black, wearing elbow length black leather gloves, black leather short sleeve coat, black pants and black leather knee-high boots. "Another one of you Blades, huh? What, do you never run out?" Gohan asked as they all landed.
Sabrina turned back to face him with a glare. "Bite your tongue, BOY. You stand before the Head of the Blade Clan, the TRUE ruler of Darkness. The ultimate hero of this planet. Our father, the Cosmic Blade himself, Ryu Blade." She spoke.
"Sabrina, no need to be so official. The boy simply didn't know who he was talking to. I'll be sure to spell it out for everyone when Frieza shows himself." The man spoke.
"Wow, Sai, you look like you hardly aged since the last time we saw you. You were 15 back then, right?." Krillin asked.
"I know, right? 27 years young, don't look a day over 18." I said with pride.
"Shut up before I gut you." Nightshade snapped.
The soldiers then poured out of the spaceship with Frieza, Sorbet and... the red guy with antlers came from the top and stayed there above all the others. "As much as I'd love to see that runt die, No one besides me is going to be the one who ends him." Frieza said.
"So you're Frieza, then? I was expecting something about as pathetic as you." Ryu said.
"I see you're quite the confident one. So, what makes you believe you are enough to defeat me? I'm guessing that's what you were implying." Frieza said.
"I can beat you because my son did." Ryu explained.
"So, you're his father, eh? Well, both father and son will pay for the sins of the son." Frieza said.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, tell me: how many men do you have with you, here?" Ryu asked.
"2,800 in total. We've indeed fallen on hard times, but it's enough to get the job done." Frieza said.
"Very well, that means there's 200 for each of my children. Make it so." Ryu said, before turning to us.
"Very well, if he wants to sacrifice his own children, I won't stop him. Group into 200." Frieza casually ordered.
"Have fun, my children. Try to make it a good show." Ryu said as he started to sit down, a magnificent throne being created from a black fog, Shizune repeating the procedure as a hand of bone makes her throne (hey, that rhymed!).
"He wants me, Dad. Let me take him on. I did it before, I'll do it again." I said.
"You'll do as I say, son. You and your siblings will take the potatoes, I'll have the meat." Ryu explained.
"Fine." I said, taking my stance. The two armies broke into our battalions, moved to different parts of the battlefield and the fight began.
Background music: "This is War" by 30 seconds to Mars
The fights were indeed good, but they weren't very long at all. The first one to finish was Sabrina. Her 200 completely surrounded her in a dome, ensuring she couldn't possibly escape. She looked at the ones up above her with a frown before pulling out an umbrella. "What the hell's the umbrella for?" One of the ones above her asked, before they all screamed in pain and began expanding like balloons as their blood expanded in their bodies until they exploded, their blood shooting everywhere and the blood rained from above, luckily only hitting Sabrina's umbrella.
"There's not enough tampax in the world for this mess." She said, looking around at the small lake of blood she stood in.
Next to finish was Katana, who froze the air around her area of the battlefield until, much like Buu before them, they were completely frozen solid, at which point, she ran in and completely shattered all of them in only a minute. "Wasn't the fastest, but I made a new personal record for killing 200 people that fast." She said with a shrug.
I was done shortly after them. "Fiiiiiiiiiiya!" I sang into a microphone made of brimstone as the area around me was on fire as hot as the surface of the sun, the soldiers screaming in pain and panic as they desperately tried to escape from the field of inferno, but not prevailed, Sorbet almost dragging himself to the edge of the flames, before dropping down and becoming a pile of ash.
Lance was next in line by mere seconds, calling a sword from his graveyard of Blades that was easily twice the size of Frieza's ship and, laying on its side, would be as wide as the ship is tall, allowing him to easily wipe out his group with 2 swings: one horizontal and one vertical. "And Kinshiro laughed when I kept this sword." Lance chuckled darkly.
Speaking of Kinshiro, he was next to reach his quota as his 200 completely surrounded him in a circle on the ground. "So, have you guys ever heard of Vlad the Impaler?" He asked.
"Who?" One of the soldiers asked.
"Oh, he was this asshole a couple thousand years ago who used to scare people to stop them from invading him, he'd leave a bunch of corpses in the middle of a field with giant sticks up their asses." Kinshiro explained, then raised his arms so his hands were at his face level, raising pillars of ground to shoot up and impale his enemies from below, holding them a few feet off the ground. "Kinda like that." He said, then began using them for target practice with his eye laser.
Next was Nightshade, who simply turned into a dark grey (think Dumplin's color) T-Rex with pitch black tiger stripes for some reason, quickly eating all his enemies. "Pathetic." He said in a voice similar to Greymon's after eating them all.
Dia was pretty creative in this fight. She did something I didn't even know she could do. "So, which one of you boys wants to make a girl scream first?" She said seductively, running her hands down her body.
"Stop it!" One soldier said uncomfortably.
"It's okay, boys. I'll scream for all of you." She said, throwing her head back and screaming, creating a pink dome of sound waves, everyone inside covering their ears in a desperate attempt to save their hearing. After 3 excruciating minutes their eardrums completely exploded, all of them falling dead. "Wow, you guys really FELL for this girl, didn't you?" She said.
"Dia, I'm the funny one, stick to being sassy." I said.
Next was Spirai. "Hey, is it getting hotter in here, or is it just me?" She asked, her hands aimed down at the ground a few feet away from her feet.
"Come to think of it, it is getting a lot hotter." One of the soldiers said.
"And you guys are getting a lot shorter." She said, a smirk growing on her face. Looking down, they discovered why: they were standing in a pool of lava that shot from her hands and covered the ground around their battlefield. She laughed at this sprayed acid from her hands into their faces, taking their focus from getting out of the lava to soothing the burning pain in their face and preventing said face from melting.
Siana came in next, as she has flown towards the water and stayed just a bit above it, her enemies chasing her and preparing to fight above water, but she tricked them, the water rising and forming into a massive ball to trap them in, eventually drowning them, which is the actual reason it took so long. "Damn, those guys can hold their breath." She said.
Star had been gradually picking them off with her neon blasts, glowsticks made lightsabers and light speed neon running attacks. "Here's a light show for you, Mom and Dad!" She said, jumping into the air and doing the neon super strike... thing from Infamous: Second Son, obliterating them all in a matter of seconds.
Chirisa's enemies had the brilliant idea of trying to shoot her from a distance as all the soldiers who were anywhere close to the other Blades were killed almost instantly, but this was a terrible idea when facing the Reflector Blade, as she absorbed all of the energy the were blasting at her and shot it right back at them before they even had time to piss themselves and scream for Mommy.
Moonlight's enemies took a decently smart approach, a few of them approaching her slowly and cautiously while other hung back for cover fire. "You know, you guys could've just stayed in space and we would've probably left you alone. But you came to Earth to try and kill us. You guys aren't very BRIGHT!" She said, emitting an intense light from her body, blinding her enemies, before turning her hands into claws of light and moving at insane speeds to slice through their throats. When the light faded, all the soldiers around her were dead.
Serena's took as long as it did because of how elaborate and brutal it was: she created a massive tornado to send all of the soldiers flying and getting crushed when they crashed into either each other, large rocks picked up by the winds and uprooted trees picked up by the wind.
Lastly came Spirai, who didn't seem interested in fighting, imagining creating a table, a pot of water and all the stuff to make green tea as well as a couple of dumplings and other snack items. The red antler guy was confused by this, but shrugged it off, walking to the table and slamming his fist down on it, spilling everything. Spirai took a deep breath before... "Clean that up." She said.
"Excuse me?" He asked.
"I said: Clean. That. Up." She repeated.
"And if I say no?" He asked.
5 seconds later...
Him and the rest of Spirai's 200 were screaming in horror as they were being attacked, crushed and eaten by giant snake after their limbs had been obliterated. Never underestimate the power of thought.
Frieza looked slightly annoyed that all of his soldiers were defeated so easily, but quickly got over it, looking up at Ryu. "Quite impressive. You've raised your children well to be able to wipe out that many of MY soldiers so easily." He said.
"They have their moments, yes. Now, it's your turn. Sai told me you're able to transform, so why don't you take your most powerful form so I may actually have someone worth wasting my time against." Ryu said.
Frieza smirked at this. "Very well, if you wish to die, I shall grant your request. I suppose you all deserve to see it before I crush you, anyway." He stated, powering up, reaching his final form almost instantly, before continuing to power up and reaching his new golden form.
"Well, it's not the weakest power I've ever face, but certainly not worth powering up myself for. I DEFINITELY won't need my wings for this fight." Ryu said.
I turned to the 4th wall at this moment. "Yeah, I've BARELY alluded to this in my past stories, but all the Blades, myself included, have retractable wings, sort of like Falcon's backpack thing except their actually part of us and when we sprout them our speed increases exponentially. We just almost never use them from any real need to. Except Dia, she can't retract her wings for some reason." I explained (look back in Saikai Academy when we join the newspaper club and Gin is the bad guy, Sai sprouts Raven wings).
Everyone ignored this, Frieza looking at my father furiously at the disrespect given to his new ultimate form. "Who do you think you are, talking to Lord Frieza like that!?" Frieza demanded.
My father smirked at this. "Why don't I spell it for you?" He asked. He then disappeared, reappearing in front of Frieza and uppercutting him in the air. He then proceeded to throw various attacks to send Frieza in VERY particular directions, they also noticed Frieza left a trail of familiar black fog as he was sent flying from the various attacks, the fog eventually spelling letters. R-Y-U. Frieza's gold form ran out after the 3 letter word was spelled, but the assault continued until a 5 letter word was spelled. B-L-A-D-E. After this, my father grabbed Frieza and threw him into his ship, hitting it hard enough to knock it over the cliff as Frieza struggled to move, but couldn't. All the bones in his body were broken after the brutal assault. "I am Ryu Blade. Remember that name, as it is what will kill you." He said, the black fog becoming flames of darkness and flying towards the space tyrant, who managed to scream one more time, before again, being reduced to nothing but a scorched black skeleton. "Still, he was pretty durable. Most of my enemies explode before I even finish the Y." He said, walking up and simply tapping his foot against Frieza's skull, turning the entire skeleton to dust.
Powers Recap:
Shizune: green fires of death, can summon skeletal limbs, dragons, warriors and servants to assist her, general necromancer powers
Ryu: Cosmic-level/reality-warping control over darkness... Kinda like Nightshade x20