Stupid Love - Chapter Nine
Pairing: Hijack
Word Count: 3858
Warnings: Mostly just fluff this chapter, some language, Jack being a moron
I do not own any rights to any Dreamworks Animation characters.
The afternoon sun heated the asphalt under Hiccup's hands, which is why he was thankful for the shade coming from the tall apartment building. He pushed himself off the ground and wiped his hands on his jeans. His car reflected the sun's rays right into his eyes and he turned away, walking into the small garage. Number 207, identical to his apartment number, of course. Hiccup grabbed a water bottle from the shelf, popping the lid and squirting some refreshing water in his mouth. After a big gulp, he squeezed some in his hair, and he shook his head, sending the tiny droplets in all directions.
He placed his water bottle back where he found it and picked up his cell phone. No messages, no calls. Astrid was really giving him the cold shoulder.
"That, or she's still sleeping in," he mused. It was only 3 o'clock, after all. Astrid didn't have to work today, so maybe she was catching up on her rest, and not just blatantly ignoring her best friend?
He pocketed the phone and walked back to his car. Toothless was looking nicer now that he'd cleaned out all that junk accumulating in the back and given it the bath it deserved...
He placed his hand on the trunk top, taking a deep breath. What was he possibly going to do today? Everything he'd already planned to do was now done.
He kneeled down, feeling the tread on the back tire. Maybe he could rotate his tires? He glanced over his shoulder into his garage again. He didn't have the risers set up, and he usually had Astrid here to help position his car correctly.
A rumbling engine sounded near the entrance and Hiccup turned his head. He half-expected Stormfly to roll in, but when he saw the golden shimmer of a vehicle that was far too expensive to be in this neighborhood, he instantly frowned and groaned internally.
The Huayra pulled up next to Toothless, the driver's side door rose up, and an obnoxious, white-haired boy stepped out. Hiccup stayed on the ground, hoping Jack wasn't there to stay.
"Fancy meeting you here," Jack smirked, reaching up to close his car door. Hiccup, unamused, simply remarked,
"I live here."
Jack looked at the apartment building and then the open garage behind Hiccup and his car.
"You live in a tiny garage with your car?" Jack joked, and Hiccup rolled his eyes and stood up.
"How did you even find my apartment?" he couldn't help but ask.
Jack laughed and stepped over to Hiccup's car.
"I have my ways," he replied. "So, this is the infamous Toothless, huh?"
As Jack put out a hand to touch the hood, Hiccup stepped over and grabbed his wrist, stopping him.
"Don't touch my car," he told him coldly. Jack backed off, shaking his arm out of Hiccup's grip.
"Why are you here, Jack?" Hiccup asked.
Jack glanced back at his own car, his eyes narrowing a moment before he responded,
"Look, I need a favor."
Hiccup almost laughed.
"Of course you do. But what could you possibly need from me?"
Jack turned his head, smiling at him. "Other than what's left of my sanity?" Hiccup added.
Jack reached down and opened his car door again. He stood back, making a quick nod to suggest that Hiccup look inside. A quiet, high-pitched whine let out from in the car and Hiccup walked over, peering inside.
A small, black puppy sat on Jack's passenger seat, its little head resting on the center console, big green eyes staring right back up at him.
"You have a dog," Hiccup said matter-of-factually.
"A puppy," Jack corrected.
"Okay..." Hiccup stared at the puppy another moment before turning back to Jack, adding, "And?"
Jack visibly deflated.
"He hates me, Hiccup!" He complained. "He won't do anything I tell him to!"
"Why am I not surprised?" Hiccup huffed. He leaned in to the car, picking up the small pup and pulling him into his arms. He turned around, plopping down in the driver's seat.
Jack folded his arms over his chest, frowning down at the dog, continuing,
"I need to take him for a walk so I can pick up chicks, but he won't walk anywhere!"
Hiccup scratched behind the puppy's ears and looked over him. There was a big scar on the puppy's left hind leg that was only recently healed.
"How old is this dog? He's so small..." Hiccup asked, still looking the pup over.
"Uhh," Jack replied, "I think the guy at the shelter said he was almost three months?"
Hiccup looked up at him,
"The shelter?" He asked, "You...you adopted a dog to pick up women?"
Jack nodded, acting as though that was a completely normal thing to do.
"I saw it in a movie once," he continued, "so I figured I'd give it a shot."
Hiccup shook his head, petting the dog in his lap again.
"That is the worst thing I've ever heard," he told him.
"It's only bad if it doesn't work," Jack defended.
"Well, this guy's got a healing wound on his leg," Hiccup pointed at the scar on the dog's leg. "So, he's not walking because it's painful, not just because you're an ass."
Jack blinked,
"Well, that sucks," he grumbled. He looked down at the puppy, but then his eyes widened.
"WAIT!" He suddenly exclaimed, causing Hiccup to jerk his head up. "I can work with that! Let's take him to the park!"
Hiccup raised an eyebrow, asking,
"Why?"
"The only better chick magnet than a puppy is a crippled puppy!" Jack replied, leaning down to pet the dog's head. "We can just bring him to the park and ladies'll flock right to us..."
Hiccup wrapped his arms around the puppy in his lap, pulling him away from Jack's hand.
"I am gonna punch you," he said through clenched teeth.
Jack knelt down and reached for the puppy again, but Hiccup pulled him away again.
"Oh, come on," Jack whined. "Can't you just help me out?"
"Why should I?"
"Because I got you into the show last night?" Jack offered.
"Ugh," Hiccup groaned. "You know, Astrid almost killed me, thanks to you!"
Jack smirked up at him,
"Not my fault you can't lie," he replied. "Now, are you helping me or not?"
Hiccup gazed down at the puppy and then back at Jack.
"Oh, fine," he sighed, kicking at Jack to get him to move.
"But we have to get this pup some toys to play with first."
Jack stood back up, a big grin on his face.
"That's what I'm talking about!" He laughed.
Jack parked the car right across the street from the dog park.
"Well, here we are!" Jack said with a triumphant smile before turning to glare at the puppy in Hiccup's lap, adding, "Good thing, too. The little bastard kept eyeballin' my gear shift."
Hiccup laughed,
"That's probably because you kept touching it," he replied, popping open the door and stepping out. He reached back in and grabbed a shopping bag.
"Here, buddy," he told the pup in his other arm, "We've got chew toys galore in this bag."
Jack got out of the car, pulling out his keys to close the doors with the press of a button. He walked out into the street and strolled right up to the gate, holding it open for Hiccup.
They made their way in, and Jack quickly found a park bench to "set up shop," as he called it. Hiccup knelt down, placing the puppy in the grass to let him sniff around and get comfortable. His snout headed straight for the bag of toys in Hiccup's hand.
"Good boy," he laughed, pulling a toy out and letting the dog have it. It squeaked and the puppy dropped it, giving it an odd look.
"So," he turned to Jack, sitting with his legs crossed on the bench, "what are you gonna name this little guy?" He asked.
Jack grinned, replying,
"I was thinkin' of calling him Toothless."
Hiccup looked up, the most unamused expression on his face.
"No."
"Oh, yes."
Jack nodded, very well aware of how much he was pissing him off. Hiccup shook his head, grabbing another chew toy from the bag and immediately chucking it at Jack's head.
"That is not only messed up and creepy," Hiccup remarked, "but it's obvious plagiarism and I'd have to sue you."
Jack laughed,
"Not if I call him Toothless 2.0!"
"You're an idiot," Hiccup grumbled. Jack snickered at him before dodging the next flying toy.
He snapped his fingers, responding,
"Hey! We could call him Twoey! Get it?"
Hiccup rolled his eyes,
"If I have to start chopping people up and feeding them to him, just know you'll be the first to go."
Hiccup grabbed onto the toy in Toothless' mouth and tugged on it. The puppy chomped down harder, but the toy slid right out. Hiccup frowned and held the toy out back to him.
"Are you really keeping him, Jack?" He asked, not looking up. "You don't seem like much of a dog person."
Jack huffed,
"I am totally a dog person," he replied. "And, DUH, I'm keeping him. He's freakin' adorable!"
Hiccup smiled. He couldn't disagree with that. He scratched at Toothless' ears again.
"What possessed you to adopt from a shelter?" He asked.
Jack leaned back on the bench, replying,
"Shelter dogs automatically come with a backstory to keep the ladies interested."
Hiccup frowned,
"But he's got injuries-"
"Healed injuries," Jack corrected.
Hiccup sat up, sending Jack his usual glare.
"You have to take extra special care of him, though. He might need special food because of his teeth, extra exercise because of his leg-" he stared down at Toothless as he gnawed at the toy between his little paws. "Why not just get another dog?"
"He was too cute," Jack smirked, looking down at the puppy, and then back at Hiccup. "And besides, he reminds me of someone I know."
Hiccup let out a defeated sigh.
"Well, you better take good care of him," he scolded playfully.
"Oh, don't you worry," Jack told him. "He'll be spoiled."
"Yeah, but he's obviously not trained, Jack," Hiccup continued, clearly unconvinced. "He's gonna destroy your car and your house and probably your life."
"Not if he gets me a girlfriend, he won't."
"I'm serious, Jack," Hiccup glared. "He's a living, breathing animal, not just some accessory to get you laid! He's still a puppy, but he's going to grow to be a big dog in no time at all."
The puppy in question perked up his ears, as though realizing he was being talked about just then.
Jack leaned forward on the bench, pouting,
"You act like I'm stupid or something, Hiccup."
"And for a good reason," Hiccup promptly replied.
"Toothless is gonna live a good life," Jack reassured him. "Trust me."
Hiccup pet the top of Toothless' head, replying,
"He better, Jack, or I'll make Astrid come by and kill you."
Jack sat up again, feigning a frown.
"But if I die, who will feed Toothless?" He joked.
Hiccup laughed,
"I will," he replied, "and he'll never have had better because he doesn't even like you."
Hiccup sat forward, getting his face closer to the puppy's, saying,
"Do you, bud? You don't like Jack at all, do you?"
Toothless barked, jumping up to nip at Hiccup's fingers.
"That's right!" Hiccup agreed, "He's just a big meanie, isn't he?"
Toothless jumped up, pouncing on Hiccup's hand and chewing on his fingers. Hiccup laughed as Jack stood up.
"Hey now," Jack mock-whined, "you're hurting my feelings with those words, you know!"
Hiccup chuckled, flipping over and lying on his back, only for Toothless to come over and lick his face.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Hiccup laughed. "I can't hear you over the sound of TOOTHLESS LIKING ME MORE THAN YOU!"
Jack made a dramatic gasp.
"No! Say it ain't so!"
He put his hands on his knees.
"Come here, Twoey!" He beckoned to the pup, "Come on! Show Hiccup how wrong he is!"
Toothless glanced up at Jack a moment and then went right back to licking at Hiccup's ear, pushing at his face with his tiny paw. Jack fell to his knees as Hiccup laughed loudly.
"Haha, denied!"
Jack crawled forward on all fours, trying to grab Toothless' attention.
"Come on, I'm the one who rescued you!" He tried again.
Hiccup reached up and picked the puppy up over his head.
"Yeah, to be used as a lure for single women," he eyed Jack before setting Toothless down on his chest.
"Well, I did the same to you and you're still hangin' around," Jack commented, reaching over to pet Toothless, but the dog moved away, licking at Hiccup's hand.
It quickly grew quiet, save for the barking and talking from the others all around the large park. Hiccup just breathed out his nose and pet the puppy now laying on him.
Jack sat back, slowly realizing what he'd just said.
"Ooh, okay..." He started. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong."
"Did it now?" Hiccup muttered back.
Jack bit his lip. He really was screwing up with this guy lately, wasn't he? He could fix this, though!
"But, hey," he offered, "we're friends, right?"
Hiccup almost laughed again, but he just turned and looked up at the ridiculous expression on Jack's face and responding a little too sarcastically,
"I wouldn't say that."
Jack grinned,
"But we have so much in common!"
"Yeah, well," Hiccup held onto the pup and sat up, replying, "I'd probably consider being your friend if you weren't such a creep."
Jack half-laughed, having started to catch onto his own weird antics. He crawled back over, smirking.
"Admit it," he teased, "you're having fun."
Hiccup rolled his eyes,
"I'm a dog person," he defended. "It has nothing to do with you."
Toothless pushed his head into Hiccup's hand, forcing him to pet him again, making Hiccup smile. Jack watched in amusement.
"Toothless really likes you, huh?" He said.
Hiccup glanced over at Jack, remarking,
"He'd like you, too, if you'd actually play with him."
Jack grinned, crawling forward some more.
"Alright, watch out! I'm comin' in!" He exclaimed, reaching around Hiccup and plucking the puppy up from his lap. Toothless wagged his tail, but let out a high-pitched growl at Jack.
"Haha," Hiccup smirked, "he really hates you."
Jack frowned, putting Toothless back down in the grass only for him to saunter his way back to Hiccup's lap.
"You said he wouldn't hate me once I bought him all these toys," Jack complained, pulling the bag over and dumping everything out. "Maybe he won't hate me once he sees my house?"
Toothless popped his head up as Jack rummaged through the pile of toys. Hiccup leaned over and grabbed a packet of dog treats, replying,
"He won't hate you once you feed him, dumbass."
"That's probably true," Jack mused. He reached over and snatched the treat bag from Hiccup, adding,
"He loves you enough as it is!"
Hiccup laughed and picked Toothless up, placing him by Jack's toy pile to let him sniff around.
"Is your house puppy-proof?" Hiccup wondered aloud. "You don't have, like, a bunch of bear-traps lying around or anything, right?"
Jack pulled out some tiny cans of cat food from the pile as Toothless started to investigate.
"Dude, I got it covered," he told Hiccup. "My place is all one floor, Toothless can have his own room if he wants, there's a backyard-well, kind of..."
"Kind of?" Hiccup questioned.
Jack tapped his chin, attempting to recall his house's layout.
"It's not exactly in the back," he explained. "It's more on the side, in between the sun room and the infinity pool..."
Hiccup sighed unenthusiastically and slumped back into the grass behind him.
"Am I supposed to be impressed?"
Jack rolled his eyes,
"No," he replied, "but Toothless should be. He'll be living there, after all."
Hiccup grabbed one of the chew toys and looked it over, asking,
"Are you sure there isn't some million-dollar vase or something that he could knock over and break?"
Jack pulled open the treat bag, smiling as Toothless instantly jumped right into his lap.
"If there was," he replied, "I could just buy a new one."
He pulled a treat out and Toothless stuck out his tongue, hopping up to grab at Jack's hand.
"Haha, you were right!" He laughed, giving the puppy the chewy treat. "He totally loves me now."
Hiccup glanced over, watching as Toothless struggled to get the treat to the back of his mouth where he actually had functioning teeth that could chew the delicious treat.
"There's no way I'm letting you take him home with you unless it's safe, Jack," he stated.
Jack smirked, closing the small bag of treats and tossing it aside.
"Oh, Hiccup," he joked, "if you want to come over, you need only ask!"
Hiccup pushed himself back into a sitting position and turned to the grinning idiot.
"You didn't even know what kind of dog food to buy, moron."
"Hey!" Jack remarked, "The guy at the shelter said he liked cat food!"
Hiccup shook his head, throwing the toy in his hand at Jack's head again.
Jack barely ducked in time, continuing,
"I'm telling you, it'll be fine."
"And I'm telling you, I don't believe it."
Jack pushed himself up, getting to his feet and replying,
"Fine, I'll show you!"
Hiccup stood up, too, replying back,
"Fine!"
Jack pulled down the long driveway, the large house finally coming into view. He parked the car under the portico near the front door.
"Tada~" Jack smiled, lifting his door and stepping out. Hiccup leaned forward,
"This is your house?" He asked trying not to sound impressed.
He pushed up his door, as well, and cradled the puppy in his arm, grabbing the plastic sack of toys with the other.
"I thought you said you lived alone?" He added.
"I do," Jack replied.
He walked over to the front door, pulling out his keys and pressing a button to close his car doors again. Hiccup shook his head, walking around the front of the car.
"But this is huge," he told him. "That's way too much space for just one person."
"That's why I've got you!"
Hiccup stiffened but Jack just smiled, stepping over and petting Toothless as he snuggled into Hiccup's arms. "Isn't that right, Toothless?"
Hiccup held out the dog for Jack to take him. Jack picked him up, smirking,
"Yeah, Daddy's got a super-cool crib, doesn't he?"
Hiccup rolled his eyes and Toothless wiggled, whining at Jack.
"You better put him down," Hiccup warned.
Jack looked at Hiccup, confused, and then back at the whining ball of fur in his hands.
"Oh," he said, quickly setting Toothless down on the paved driveway. The puppy quickly sauntered to a nearby sand garden and squatted.
"Ah, no, not in the sand!" Jack complained.
Hiccup laughed,
"Be glad he's not doing that on your couch, Jack."
Jack waved him off,
"He wouldn't!"
Jack spun around, gesturing the the open room behind him.
"And this is the second kitchen," he told Hiccup, "just a stone's throw away from the patio that overlooks the pool!"
He walked over the the glass wall leading to the patio.
"This place is stupidly huge," Hiccup spoke up, looking out at the giant pool just outside. "Who would actually want to live here?"
"Don't be jealous, Hic," Jack smirked. Hiccup turned his head,
"Hic?" He questioned.
"It's called a nickname," Jack replied. Hiccup rolled his eyes,
"You mean like 'Twoey'?"
Jack laughed.
"Yeah, but I refuse to kill anyone for you," he joked.
Jack turned, walking out to the TV room. Hiccup followed behind him, Toothless waddling along right beside him.
Jack stepped into the room, the carpet and furniture the same color as his hair. He plopped down onto the couch, and Hiccup walked over to the enormous television.
"Oh, dude, you have the PS4?" he grinned, kneeling down to find a whole assortment of new and old consoles.
"Yeah, got it early," Jack replied. "It was a gift."
Hiccup scooted back and grabbed the corner of the TV stand. The wall next to him flipped, revealing an organized shelf of DVDs.
"Holy shit," Hiccup gawked, standing up. "That's one hell of a movie collection."
Jack smiled, leaning down to pick up the puppy shuffling his way over to the couch.
"Somebody sounds impressed," he remarked.
Hiccup smirked, glancing back at him.
"...maybe just a little."
Jack sat back, pulling Toothless into his lap.
"Wanna play something?" he asked Hiccup. "I mean, while you're here?"
Hiccup turned around, biting his lip in thought.
"I don't know…" he replied calmly, "I was kinda planning to work on my car today."
Jack frowned, petting the dog as he yawned and snuggled into his hoodie.
"Yeah, but this Toothless is way more fun," he commented.
"Eh," Hiccup responded, not convinced. Jack picked up the puppy in his lap, holding him in front of his face.
"Come on," he pouted. "You can't say no to dis widdle face!"
Hiccup sighed, knowing he wasn't going to win this one.
"Agh, fine," he blurted out, stepping over to the couch. "But only one game, then I gotta go."
"Ha! Alright," Jack grinned, setting Toothless back down.
As Hiccup sat down next to him, Jack reached forward and picked up the controllers from his glass coffee table and handed one to Hiccup.
"TV," he said sternly, "turn on."
The large television flickered and came to life, instantly showing the Playstation logo and a low tone rang throughout the room.
Hiccup grinned, looking around.
"Oh, wow," he remarked, "the sound is amazing in here."
"Yeah," Jack explained, "they built this whole house to be super-acoustic. Makes everything sound like a concert-totally turns chicks on."
Hiccup turned on his controller, replying sarcastically,
"Oh, I'm so sure."
Jack selected a game, and as they waited for it to load, Toothless sat up, pushing his paws on Jack's controller.
"Huh?" Jack looked down. "Oh, hey there, Twoey!"
Hiccup glanced over.
"Looks like he wants to help you out," he joked.
Jack pulled Toothless back into his lap, petting his head.
"So," Jack started as the game began, "did my house pass your test?"
"Hardly," Hiccup replied, eyes on the TV. "If I could, I'd just steal Toothless from you, but my apartment doesn't allow pets."
"Bummer," Jack told him. "See, that's why I bought a house. Nobody can tell you what to do way out here. Want pets? No problem. Wanna build a race track around your house? Go for it! Wanna make love to a hot mama in your pool? All the power to ya! Nobody can tell you no around here!"
Hiccup shook his head,
"I'd hate to be your neighbor," he said bluntly. Jack grinned, replying,
"That's why I don't have any."