Stupid Love - Chapter Thirteen
Pairing: Hijack
Word Count: 2653
Warnings: A LOT of language, mentions of illegal vehicle activity, Jack being rude to an old person
"Hey, Astrid!" Hiccup called out as he walked into the bar with a big grin on his face.
Astrid, standing behind the bar, looked up and gave a small wave. Hiccup hurried over and plopped down on the closest barstool.
"What's up?" She asked with a smile as she pulled out a glass, placed it in front of him, and pulled over a nozzle from the soda fountain to fill it with Coke.
"Guess whose absolutely amazing car raced against someone's Huayra today and won?!" Hiccup bounced in his seat, leaning on the bar excitedly.
Astrid put the nozzle back and smirked, replying,
"Hmm, let me guess... Was it, perhaps, you?"
Hiccup let out a quick laugh, responding,
"Ah, give the lady a prize!"
Astrid giggled, and then asked curiously,
"So, how'd you manage to pull that off?"
Hiccup picked up the soda and took a big gulp.
"Sheer willpower," he told her. "Too bad it wasn't enough the second time."
Astrid cocked an eyebrow.
"Second time?" She asked.
"He demanded a rematch," Hiccup explained bluntly before taking another sip of the soda.
"Ah, of course he did," Astrid shook her head. She reached back and grabbed another cup for herself and started filling it with soda. Hiccup sat back, continuing,
"And then this cop on a motorcycle showed up."
Astrid stopped and glanced up at him.
"Oh, Gods," she groaned. "Did you do something stupid?"
Hiccup laughed, leaning on the counter again, responding,
"What? Me? Yes."
Astrid rolled her eyes.
"You raced Jack right in front of a cop?" She stated more than questioned.
"No..." Hiccup replied. "We just almost ran him over because he pulled out in front of us and then tried to make us stop!"
"Oh, no," Astrid commented, watching as Hiccup flung his hands about, animatedly recalling what happened.
"So, we raced out of the tunnel down on Hammond," he explained, "right past the cop, and just start bookin' it!"
Hiccup spun toward her in the stool, continuing,
"He chases after us, and soon, there's another motorcycle joining him. So, Jack and I split up, and we lose them! I pulled into the alleyway behind the old bank on Cox, right? And Jack caught back up with me-"
"How'd he hide a car like his?" Astrid interjected with disbelief.
Hiccup laughed, replying,
"No clue! But it worked! Oh, man...the adrenaline rush alone was worth it, I'm telling you!"
Astrid sipped at her soda before standing back and looking around the nearly-empty bar. Her gaze returned to Hiccup and the stupid smile still stuck on his face.
"Look at you," she smirked. "You're becoming a full-on thug, aren't you?"
"Oh, yeah, definitely," he told her, nodding frantically. "The world just won't know how to handle all..." He pulled up his thin arm and pretended to flex, "this."
They both burst out in laughs. Astrid shook her head at him and Hiccup leaned back again and finished off his soda. Astrid took the empty glass from him and gave him a serious look.
"But in all seriousness, Hiccup," she remarked, "you can't be pulling crazy stunts like that. You'll get hurt or wind up in jail or something."
Hiccup just snickered, but Astrid continued, suggesting,
"Maybe you need to stop hanging out with your crime-spree buddy?"
Hiccup put up his hand to stop her, his smile refusing to fade.
"Astrid, you're being ridiculous," he told her. "Besides, Jack's not that bad-"
"Oh!" Astrid cried out. "Oh, Gods! Oh, no! There it is!"
Hiccup eyed her, confused.
"Wh-what is it? What did I say?"
"Are you kidding me?" She glared at him, and then repeated in her best 'Hiccup' voice, "Jack's not that bad?!"
Hiccup grimaced, instantly stammering in reply
"D-did I say that?"
"Those exact words," Astrid steamed, her menacing glare boring into him.
"Oh, no," Hiccup looked down at his hands.
"Oh, no is right-what is wrong with you?!" Astrid bellowed, her nose scrunching up as the anger built in her voice. "I told you to get rid of the guy, not get into his pants-!"
Hiccup glared back at her,
"This again?" He grumbled. "It's not like that and you know it!"
Astrid opened her mouth to reply, but stopped short. She took a deep breath and then stood back, replying calmly,
"If you say so."
Hiccup continued to glare at her, retorting,
"I do say so."
Astrid took out a washrag and snatched up one of the glasses behind the counter, absently wiping it down. Hiccup watched her cautiously, her behavior suddenly seeming suspicious.
"Alright," she started again calmly, "now, take out your phone and delete his number."
Hiccup raised an eyebrow, asking,
"What? Why?"
Astrid placed the cup back on the counter.
"I distinctly remember you saying you'd stop being friends with him after you had your little race," she told him matter-of-factly with a determined frown.
"I never said that," Hiccup instantly remarked.
Astrid stepped forward,
"No, you said-"
"I SAID," Hiccup cut her off, correcting, "that you wouldn't have to see him again. That's all."
"Oh, you son of a bitch!" Astrid yelled at him, startling him enough for him to grasp onto the counter to keep himself from falling over. "You never planned to stop talking to him, did you? Hell, you-you probably just gave him your number when this all started, didn't you?"
"W-why would I do that?" Hiccup stammered, scooting back on the stool nervously.
"Oh, don't give me that shit!" Astrid gritted her teeth.
Hiccup gulped visibly before sitting up straight and looking her in the eye.
"I don't like him that way, Astrid," he told her. "I'm serious."
"Alright, fine," Astrid turned around, crossing her arms furiously. "I'm only your best friend-or maybe not. Maybe I've been replaced!"
"Come on, don't do that," Hiccup sighed, slumping onto the counter dejectedly. "I'm just making friends. You're always telling me to do that… So, what's the problem?"
Astrid glared at him over her shoulder, remarking coldly,
"The problem is that that guy is an asshole, and I don't want you to get hurt."
"Well…" Hiccup hesitated, not wanting to say anything that'll set her off again.
He finally huffed, continuing,
"Don't worry. I've got this under control."
Astrid turned around, eyeing him with a frown.
"You're sure?" she asked.
"Yeah," Hiccup replied earnestly. "And besides, I told him if he ever pulls anything, you'd punch him into a coma, so, no worries, okay?"
"That's my boy," Astrid smiled.
"So, no more lectures?" Hiccup asked sheepishly.
"I ain't promising anything, Hiccup," Astrid grabbed her glass of soda again, taking a quick gulp.
"Shoulda known," Hiccup sighed.
"But, hey," Astrid started again, "I do have a proposition for you."
"Yeah?" Hiccup asked, intrigued.
"If I front you some cash to help you fund your little 'project'," Astrid asked, "can I get your help making Stormfly a little more...I don't know, like, race material?"
"Wha-yeah!" Hiccup grinned. "Dude, I'm only about three-hundred away from what I need right now, so…"
He glanced over as Astrid took another drink of her soda.
"I mean, uhh, of course I can do that," he told her. "But...why do you want me to?"
Astrid blew out a puff of air, her bangs moving from her eyes for a moment.
"Well, thanks to you," she replied, "certain people tend to recognize my car on the streets, and I am not okay with Stormfly being labelled a loser."
Hiccup sank back with a grimace.
"Yeah...sorry about that."
Astrid held up her hand, and Hiccup instinctually winced.
"Don't," she told him. "Just make her a winner, and all shall be forgiven."
"But, in order for her to win," Hiccup noted, "you'd have to race, so…"
Astrid smirked,
"Yeah, well, you've got connections now, don't you?" she remarked smartly.
"What happened to wanting Jack out of the picture?" Hiccup asked, confused.
"Well, if that asshole's sticking around," Astrid replied, "I might as well get some use out of him, right?"
"What do you say, Mildew?" Hiccup pulled the fakest smile he could manage.
The old man just grumbled back at him,
"I say I ain't sellin' it today, boy."
Hiccup looked down at the hefty envelope in his hand. He'd been saving up over the past year to finally meet Old Man Mildew's price. Hiccup gazed over at the old, rusted car sitting in the tall grass of the man's front yard.
"But, we agreed on three grand!" he whined, and bit his lip. He finally got the money and now Mildew was leaving him in the wind?
Mildew just waved his hand at him and turned to walk back up his porch steps.
"Come back next week and we'll talk," he remarked disinterestedly.
"But, Mildew-" Hiccup tried one more time.
Mildew turned around, but stopped, looking past Hiccup with a confused look and asked,
"Who's that?"
Hiccup looked behind him, spotting the familiar gold-dusted car driving up and stopping next to his Toothless.
"Oh, great," Hiccup groaned. This wouldn't end well.
The door on the car propped open and Jack stepped out.
"Hey, Hiccup," he grinned, pushing the door closed and walking over to him.
"Jack, what are you doing here?" Hiccup asked, fearing what the answer might be.
Jack simply smiled, pulling out his phone and replying,
"A little birdy told me you were out here, tryin' to buy a car."
Hiccup eyed him.
"...Astrid?"
"Twitter."
Hiccup rolled his eyes. Duh, he forgot about that.
"Seriously?" he muttered, more to himself than Jack, but he didn't take it that way. He started defending himself, casually replying,
"What? I like being 'in the know', ya know?"
"You're such a creeper, Jack, I'm telling you."
Hiccup turned back, only to see Mildew had descended down the stairs of the porch again.
"The lad's right," Mildew commented, eyeing Jack like he was an alien. "You're a freak."
Jack turned back, sizing the man up before pointing a thumb his direction and asking Hiccup,
"Who's this bozo?"
Hiccup looked from Jack to Mildew and back, replying,
"That gentleman is Mr. Mildew."
He motioned to the car in front of them, adding,
"And that is his Kaiser Darrin."
"Oh, so this is that car you've been wanting," Jack smirked, checking out the car and walking around it. He turned back to Mildew, asking, "So how much you gettin' for it?"
"I ain't selling it today," Mildew replied coldly.
"Please, Mildew?" Hiccup pleaded. "I can add another hundred-right here, today."
Mildew just crossed his arms, unimpressed.
"I don't think so, Hiccup," he responded. "I'm bumping it another three grand for now."
Hiccup shut his eyes. No. That was not what he wanted to hear. Jack glanced over at Hiccup's pained expression and then at the envelope in his hand. His eyes widened,
"Whoa, that's a lot of cash ya got there, Hic," he remarked.
Hiccup opened his eyes again, spying Jack as he inched closer. He bit his lip into a frown.
"Go away, Jack," he grumbled.
Jack smiled and turned back to Mildew.
"How much you want for the car, old man?" he asked with a smirk.
"Jack!" Hiccup warned. That tone was sounded all-too-familiar…
"Who are you callin' 'old', ya hippie?" Mildew fired back.
"I could give you 200 thousand for it," Jack offered, stepped up to the short, elderly man.
"What?" Mildew's eyes immediately widened.
"WHAT?" Hiccup's did the same.
Jack glanced back and forth between them, and tried again,
"...300 thousand?"
"Jack-"
Hiccup grabbed the back of Jack's hoodie and pulled him back.
"What's a kid like you doin' with that kinda money anyway?" Mildew questioned suspiciously.
Jack grinned, despite being pulled back awkwardly by his collar.
"Hopefully," he replied, "buying a car from you."
"I got no use for yer money," Mildew grunted, turning away again.
Jack's smile fell.
"But-"
Mildew angrily waved him off, ascending the staircase again and opening the porch door.
"Get lost, ye hot-shot freak!" He glanced over her shoulder with a glare. "And take the dolt with ya!"
Hiccup let go of Jack, desperately rushing over to the porch steps. He pleaded,
"But, Mr. Mildew-!"
"I said, beat it, kid!" Mildew shouted, and slammed the door behind him.
Hiccup visibly deflated, his arms falling to his sides in defeat.
"Uhh, sorry?" Jack offered, biting his lip as he backed up toward his car.
"I can't believe you just did that," Hiccup shook his head, reaching up and pulling at his hair.
"Hey, I didn't know-"
Hiccup whipped around, glaring daggers at Jack.
"Now I'm never gonna get that car!" he shouted, stomping over to him. "I was THIS close, Jack! THIS FUCKING CLOSE."
Jack backed up, bumping into his car. He glanced back before looking back at Hiccup.
"It didn't look like that when I first got here," he smarted.
"I would have found a way to drive that Darrin home today if you hadn't shown up," Hiccup retorted, aggressively shoving a finger at Jack's chest.
"Geez, man," Jack jerked back, "I said I was sorry-"
"I DON'T CARE!" Hiccup growled up at him.
Jack huffed and pushed back.
"Hey, dude, it's just a car!" he shouted, and Hiccup took a step back. Jack looked over at the Fiero, continuing, "Besides, I really like Toothless. You're not tryin' to replace that hot machine, are ya?"
Hiccup looked over at the Darrin and then back over to his Fiero before a sigh left his lips.
"...no," he said, "I guess not."
Jack grinned in triumph.
"Go to your baby, Hiccup," he told him grandly, placing an arm over his shoulders.
Hiccup stood still a moment and then shrugged him away.
"Stop being such a weirdo, Jack," he remarked.
"You're the weirdo," Jack replied.
Hiccup rolled his eyes, walking over to his car slowly.
"Why do I put up with you?"
Jack laughed.
"'Cause you liiike me~" he sang.
Hiccup opened the door on his car, smirking,
"Don't flatter yourself."
Jack grasped at his chest, dramatically replying,
"Agh! Right in the heart!"
He shot Hiccup a playful glare, adding,
"Et tu, Hiccup?"
"Just go, Jack," Hiccup finally told him.
"Alright, alright," Jack conceded, opening up the door to his car, as well.
But just as Hiccup went to climb into his car, Jack added,
"I'll just bring Twoey home by myself."
Hiccup stood back up and looked over as the black puppy hopped down from Jack's car and around to Hiccup, jumping up and pawing at his jeans. Hiccup sighed, muttering,
"I swear, you do this on purpose."
Jack smirked, walking around Hiccup's car, as well, to join them.
"You love this dog, man," he remarked. "I have to take advantage of that. It's, like, the law."
Hiccup crouched down and patted the dog's head, a smile slowly creeping to his face.
"Hey, Toothless…" he cooed, scratching behind the puppy's ears. "Hey, wanna ride in my car?" he offered, "Yeah, my car is way more fun than stinky, old Jack's."
Toothless stepped over and sniffed at the Fiero for a second before jumping up onto the driver's seat.
"Toothless inside of Toothless?" Jack questioned. "It's Toothless-ception!"
Hiccup shook his head and scooted in next to the pup. He glanced back up at Jack, replying,
"You're not as clever as you think you are."
"Uhh, no, actually," Jack laughed. "I am super clever, thank you very much."
"I'll meet you at the house," Hiccup rolled his eyes and slammed the car door shut.
He started the engine and Toothless hopped into the passenger seat, tongue already sticking out. He pulled into Reverse and skidded down the gravel pathway and toward the main road. Jack ran over to his car, yelling, "Hey, wait up!" before following his lead.