Title: Chuck vs. Life
Author: marybr
Characters: mainly Chuck/Sarah (but the regulars are there – Casey, Ellie, Morgan, Awesome, etc.)
Chapters: 6/?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters portrayed in this fic. I'm gaining nothing with this, except the sheer joy of being Chuck/Sarah's puppet master. I do own Julia, 'though :D
Summary: First of all I suck at summaries, so regard this fact as you read this. The fic fits right after the last episode aired (1x11), and it basically picks up after those events. It's nothing more than Chuck and co. moving on with their lives, and especially centering on how Chuck and Sarah will deal with their mutual feelings. I know, this summary blows… Just read the first chapter, and you'll get a sense of what is actually about.
A/N: Go-Chuck-Go, you're funny lol I'm sorry, rudeness/taunting really weren't my intentions. I was going to finish this chapter, and post it only tomorrow; but I sucked it up my tiredness and finished/posted today especially for you, who made me genuinely laugh with your review (this goes for Saucy-Duck, too – you guys are funny).
Speaking of Saucy-Duck, sorry to hear the weather in Oregon sucks. But don't worry, I heard pasty is the tan; I guess that means I'm not "in" 'cause right now I've got a noticeable bikini tan line. Even 'though I always follow Baz Luhrman's advice and do wear sunscreen. Oh, and I'll be careful. Julia isn't going to morph into Lou. Well, I hope not.
Federaldragon, thanks for going through the trouble to send a review. That was very nice of you.
Miks, I won't kill Julia. Sarah might… No, I'm kidding! But I do promise that she'll gracefully take a bow, and leave the stage… eventually.
SoContagious, you're always so kind. I don't have words… hugs
gaaddict67, I can't tell how much I love Rice. He's my favorite! I felt complied to throw him into the story just for my own twisted pleasure. Anyhow, thanks for the review!
BadgersRule/red lighting, thanks for the review! I'm glad that you like the fic.
And about the present I'm a little self-conscious right now. I guess I shouldn't have created such a hype about it, 'cause I'm afraid the reality will let you guys down. You know what they say about high expectations… Now is bygones 'though. Let it be. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter VI
"Go ahead, open it!" Chuck rushed her.
"Okay," she said smiling.
She sat on his bed. He came closer but remained standing up, hovering over her. She felt like a little kid opening that gift. She untied the ribbon, and pulled the top off. She gently removed the delicate paper that was involving it, and there it was. This beautiful, wide photo album.
She took her time to feel its red leather cover, it had all this texture, and it smelled great. She opened the album, and inside there were all these photos of the two of them together; them with Ellie, Awesome, Morgan and even Casey was in a couple of shots. She kept flipping through the beautiful black, thick carton-like pages, and there they were. Over and over again, laughing, goofing around, chillin' with friends and family.
She never felt this touched by a gift before. She felt like crying, but managed to keep a hold of her feelings and budding emotions. She couldn't believe how thoughtful it was. Nobody ever did something like that for her. Ever.
"I know it isn't the best gift, uh… I'm pretty awful at gift-giving in general. And I know you agents have this thing about not having a history, and all that. But, uh… in there it's ours, and even 'though it's a lame gift…" he was babbling like there was no tomorrow.
All the while he was saying this, she just kept tracing the photos, and the cover with her hand. She was trying hard to keep her emotions contained. And he kept babbling on and on; so, she decided to say something.
"It's perfect, Chuck," she said softly, looking up at him for the first time.
When their eyes met there was this intensity in the air. He could tell that she really meant it. Her eyes were peaceful, and serene. And he could have sworn that he was seeing vulnerability there.
Sarah, on her end, felt the desire to throw everything out the window at that moment. Her job, the concept of what was right and what was wrong, what she should or shouldn't do… all these huge issues that were standing between her and Chuck.
All she wanted right now was to tell him how she really felt; how lately she had been feeling these things; that she had been feeling differently. She didn't know if that was love, because she wasn't sure what that really was like. She sure have felt things for Bryce, but it was different from now. She had liked him a lot, but this was somehow… more. She wanted to tell him that she was scared, and confused to say the least; that she wanted to try being together for real. She wanted to ask if he felt the same…
But she couldn't… and she wouldn't. She swore she wouldn't make another mistake.
They stayed with eyes locked for a few seconds.
"Well, I'm glad you liked it," he said, smiling charmingly.
"You know, I got you a gift, too. I also bought mine before, you know…" she said, putting the album back in the box.
He nodded.
"It's actually in my car. I wasn't sure if I should return it or not," she confessed with a weak smile.
"You don't have to…," he tried defensively, after her last statement.
"I want to," she stated grinning, emphasizing the middle word.
He grinned forfeiting his previous defense techniques.
"I'll go get it. It'll be better if I leave through your window. This way they don't see my gift or yours. I'll take mine to the car," she said grabbing the box.
"Nice spy covering-all-the-bases thinking!" he said.
She laughed, while heading to the window. As she was about to leave she said,
"Thank you again, Chuck. It was really sweet," she said softly.
He simply smiled, and she was out.
Moments later she was jumping the window back into the room. Chuck was seating on his brown armchair, feet up. When he saw her, he put them down.
"Tired after the one minute waiting?" she joked, smirking.
He grinned.
"Here. Merry Xmas!" she said, handing him the tall, deep, blue box.
"Thanks!" he replied.
He did not display Sarah's grace while opening his box, 'though. He untied the silver ribbon quite quickly, and carelessly. Sarah enjoyed watching him open the present. He took a pick inside of the box. His face went from glee to disbelief in one second.
"I can't believe you got me this," he said, looking up at her.
She feared she had gotten him the wrong present. His face looked so… fragile.
"Oh my gosh, you hated! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to re-open old wounds…" she tried awkwardly, and weakly.
"No," he said, seeming distraught, and taking out carefully two Lego cases from the box.
"I, uh… I loved. I just can't believe… I can't believe you remembered," he added, looking at her in awe.
"I mentioned once that my worst Xmas ever was when I was 7, and my mom promised she would get me the Lego I wanted so badly… but then, uh, my dad got me a basketball ball. And I didn't even played, or liked, basketball," he continued.
"Well, I was listening. And when you told me later about the whole 'Mother's Day' thing; I figured you didn't get the Lego that Xmas because that was the year your mom… left," she said the last part especially gently.
"And your dad probably didn't know what you really wanted. So, that Xmas, you spent without the Lego… and without your mom. It must have been hard. Now, I can't do anything about your mom. But I can at least fix the no-Lego situation," she added half-smiling.
"You're right. It was… It was awful. Our dad knew us, but he really didn't know us. I'm sure he tried his best that first Xmas without his wife. But… well, it were tough times. I can't even tell how many times I heard Ellie crying in her bed," he opened up.
"She was this 10 year old girl who, besides losing her mother, was obliged to become the mother of her 7 year old little brother," he added.
"But enough with the sad saga," he said after a break, shaking his head.
"We made it through, and we took care of each other. We still do," he added grinning.
Sarah was amazed; there was so much of him she didn't know. And she wanted to. She wanted to know everything there was to know about Chuck Bartowski. She just wanted to comfort him right now.
Chuck couldn't believe what he was seeing. He was so confused. He was so sure that Sarah felt nothing for him before, but now, after this, he wasn't so sure. There she was again, doing the same thing to him. She always did something that left him wondering "maybe she does like me". But he was more careful to judge those gestures now. He had been burned before.
If it was up to him, he'd get up right now, and he'd show her what he meant. He would take her in his arms, and he'd kiss her like she never had been kissed before. Not even by him. He'd kiss her with his eyes closed, and his heart opened.
He'd tell her that what he feels for her is real; that he had never felt this way before, not even with Jill – and that time he really thought he was in love – but what he feels for her is much more; he wanted to say that when he is around her he can't concentrate. He'd tell her that they should give it a go, together; no cover, no bugs, no agendas. Just the two of them.
But he won't say or do these things. He isn't sure how she feels, and putting your heart on the line by revealing feelings is making yourself vulnerable. And vulnerability ends in pain from Chuck's previous experiences with Sarah. Besides, he won't risk blowing whatever they have at this moment.
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad," she genuinely said, taking a seat on the ottoman right in front of the armchair he was sitting on.
"You didn't. On the contrary, this is the most thoughtful gift I've ever been given," he said, leaning forward, placing the toys on the ground, and smiling ear to ear.
Her sitting and his leaning put them face to face. There was another moment between them. They locked eyes for seconds without saying a word.
Maybe I should just kiss her, he thought.
It seemed like she read his mind, 'cause she stood up quickly.
"I think we should get back to the living room. People might be getting suspicious; we've disappeared on them. The cocoa must be ready by now," she said fastly.
Sarah knew if she didn't get up at the moment Chuck was going to kiss her. It was just one of those moments when you can tell. And the worst of all, she would let him. She'd kiss him back with all she got. They couldn't. She couldn't.
Chuck felt awkward, and more confused – if possible. He thought they shared a moment there.
"Right, right. We should," he said, getting up himself, and heading for the door.
She grabbed him by the wrist. He looked at her.
"You know, Chuck," she tried.
"Julia seems like a really nice girl. You should go and talk to her some more; you two really seemed to hit it off," she finished uncomfortably and awkwardly, but firmly.
What was she doing? Was she setting him up? He wondered. He couldn't believe, or grasp what was going on. But, nonetheless, there he was; back at square one.
"I can't believe we're here again," he stated disappointed, shaking his head.
He was getting tired, and frustrated with this little dance they seemed to find themselves regularly doing. If this was remotely close to being right, it wasn't supposed to be this hard. It wasn't supposed to be this draining. It was fine. He would accept things as they were.
Sarah understood really well what he was trying to say there. This struggle pained her, but it was what it was. Things, the circumstances haven't changed. She wasn't about to make another mistake. If she couldn't be the one for Chuck, she wanted him to have someone who could. Someone who could fully surrender herself to him; someone less like her, someone more like Julia. She wanted him to be happy, even if it didn't include her. That's how much she cared.
Looking down, Chuck responded to her previous statement.
"Yeah, maybe I will," he said.
He looked up straight into her eyes, and smiled. A rather sad smile, but a sweet one as well.
"Thanks again for the present," he said.
"We should go and have some cocoa," he said, putting a brighter smile on his face.
Both left the room. But before they reached the other people, she stopped him again.
"Chuck, I think I'll pass on the cocoa. I'll just go home, it's been a long evening," she said midst a faux smile.
"Ok, if you want to. I'll walk you to your car," he replied.
She looked at the table, and there were Ellie, Awesome, Julia, Morgan and Anna, talking and laughing. Casey had managed to escape the party while they were talking in Chuck's room.
"No, it's okay. I'll let myself out. You should join them," she stated, motioning to the table with her head.
He nodded in agreement. In other times he would insist to see her off, but not tonight. That little fact didn't pass unnoticed by Sarah.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," he offered.
"Yes, tomorrow," she replied lamely.
"Ok… goodbye, Sarah," he said, leaving for the table.
She walked towards the other way. She grabbed her coat from the rack next to the door, and slipped it on. Then she retrieved her cookie basket from a nearby table, and opened the door. But before leaving, she turned her head back. Chuck had joined the group; he sat next to Julia, Sarah noted. He was holding a colorful mug, and Julia was filling it with cocoa. They were all laughing, and talking, and looking pretty much happy.
It's for the best, she thought. She felt like smiling, but it didn't come. With that she closed the door behind her, walked to her black Porsche, and went home.
"You can fill the mug to the top. Ellie's cocoa is the best. Come on, don't be shy," he joked, as Julia poured him cocoa.
"Dude, Julia was just telling us this funny anecdote of the day she and her sister got themselves locked in the movie theater's bathroom. A classic tale, I must add," Morgan chimed in.
Ellie and Awesome nodded in agreement.
"Locked in the bathroom?! Really? It sure seems like a funny one," he said chuckling.
"Funny now. Tragic then. You don't want to know," Julia piped in, huge smile on her face.
Morgan was saying something to Anna now. And Awesome and Ellie were involved in innocent PDA. So, Julia and Chuck started talking.
"So, it looks like you and the ex got things back on track, huh?" she asked smiling.
But the minute she let that out, she regret it. So, before he could even answer she added,
"I'm sorry. Was that too invasive? Too personal? I didn't mean to pry. I've been told before that I can be too honest, too blunt at times. It kinda freaks people out. Anyhow, you don't have to answer that," she babbled worriedly.
"No, and no. No on both accounts," he joked smiling.
"I don't mind answering it. No, we're not back together. Actually, it's the far opposite of it. It just reaffirmed that we're friends, and just friends. No romantic future there," he added.
"And as far as honesty goes, I sure could use some," he finished charmingly.
She smiled charmingly back. And they shared a moment. The staring lasted a few seconds, when Chuck broke it.
"You see, I've got this great Rice rare bootleg. Genius stuff. Wanna check it out?" he asked.
"Sure," she replied.
They went to his bedroom, and they just sat there listening to the amazing tunes, commenting on the tracks, sharing wacky concert stories… Everything felt so much more… simpler to Chuck. So less complicated. And he enjoyed that new sensation.
Julia looked at her watch.
"God! Time flew by. I should get going, I have a shift tomorrow morning," she said getting up.
"Ok; I can gift you a lift, or call you a cab if you prefer…" he tried, getting up as well.
"No, it's fine. I drove here," she stated.
"Ok; so, I can walk you to your car," he quickly said.
"I don't want to be an inconvenience," she replied.
"I insist," he firmly said, midst a boyish smile.
"Ok," she said, all smiley.
They left his room. Ellie and Awesome were together on the couch watching tv. Morgan and Anna had already left. They didn't say goodbye to Chuck. Morgan said he would be damned to wreck his friend's chances to get lucky.
Julia said her goodbyes and thank-yous to the couple, and she and Chuck were out the door.
"My car is right there," she said pointing to this fierce, red, vintage '68 Camaro.
They walked up to the car.
"Wow! I'm not a car guy, but this thing is a beauty," Chuck exclaimed.
She smiled. He looked directly at her, armed with the Chuck megawatt smile.
"So, maybe… uh, can I get your number?" he mustered up the courage to ask.
Julia found his nervousness the cutest thing.
"Is this because of me, or because of my car? Now I'm not really sure," she joked.
"Oh, you caught me…" he played along.
They shared a laugh.
"Well, if this answers your question, I've been meaning to ask you this since 'Cannonball'," he added in a more serious tone.
She smiled, suddenly shy and self-conscious. She reached inside her bag, and got a pen. Then she wrote the number in his hand. He smiled.
"I had a great time," he said.
"So did I," she replied.
She took a step forward, leaned, and kissed him on the cheek. He instantly touched the cheek she had just kissed with his hand. The one who didn't have the number on it; he wouldn't risk smudging the precious information.
He could feel his heart racing.
She grabbed her keys in the purse and unlocked the door. He went ahead and opened it for her, she got in, and he closed it for her. She appreciated his gentleman gesture; so, she smiled at him.
She turned on the engine, and before hitting the gas she opened the window, looked at him with a flirtatious smile on her face, and said,
"I'm looking forward to your call, Chuck."
He just smiled brightly in response. After that she went home. Chuck stayed there looking at her car until it was out of sight. He made his way back home with a goofy smile plastered on his face. One that Casey sure wouldn't appreciate. But he felt good… really good. He felt happy.
A/N: I hope you liked it, and it wasn't a total let down. I finally managed to wrap Christmas up, thank God! I guess no one won Ellie's cookies basket. Well, I think I'll have to eat them all by myself :)
That's all!
Tootles! (for you Go-Chuck-Go) lol