Goodbye and Hello

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

"There can be fun surprising but we don't have to be dumbfounded." Kenneth Sparling.

I hope this chapter answers some of your questions from the last one!

Chapter 19

It was hard to pace with a phone in your ear but Hank sure tried. It was ringing but he felt highly impatient right now.

"Hello?"

"Joanne?"

"Yes," she said.

"Joanne, its Hank. I need to talk to Roy."

Before he could finish she interrupted him, "He's not here." But instead of the usual blow off this time she sounded mad. Roy had lied to her!

Hank was bordering on furious himself. He did not have time for her childish games right now. "Joanne this is an emergency put him on the phone right now," Hank yelled this time.

Just great she thought. First her husband decides to start biting her head off last week but after what he pulled last night she didn't give a crap about any stupid emergency. "What emergency?" She decided to ask anyway.

Hank was fuming now to the point that Mike was on his feet seeing his Captain boarding on rage.

"Cap?" Mike asked.

Hank took a deep breath and waved down his worried engineer, "It's Johnny, he's been critically injured in a fire this morning. So, please, put him on the phone."

There were a few seconds of silence on the phone and Hank was just about to start yelling again when he heard the soft "Oh God." She sat down in the chair in the kitchen, Roy's words from the day before echoing in her head. "Hank I don't understand," she finally said. "Why don't you know where he is?"

Now that caught him off guard, "Why would I know where he is?"

She began to cry, "Because he left me yesterday."

Brackett finished up his sutures on Chet. The exploratory look at his abdomen revealed no critical internal bleeding, his liver and spleen were bruised but he didn't have any trouble stopping the bleeding. He was able to leave his spleen intact. His two broken ribs had only caused a mild pneumothorax and right now he didn't require a chest tube but they would have to watch him closely. He looked up to the orthopedic surgeon who would be moving in behind him. "Take good care of him Bill."

"I will Kel, don't worry. His breaks look pretty clean. I don't think I will have much problem getting them to heal up. I hear he's a pretty lucky guy."

Brackett smiled, "This particular bunch of hose jockeys are always pushing the envelope of lucky. Catch ya later Bill." He then wanted to check on Johnny over in the adjacent OR where Early was with him. Johnny's injuries had sounded more serious and Brackett was already concerned about the young man seeing what had happened over the last few months. He remembered the conversation that he and Dixie had with him when they found out he had quit the paramedic program. Nothing they said would change the young man's mind. Dixie had commented after he left that it was like he was grieving, like Roy had died instead of having just moved out of town. Only later were they able to piece the puzzle together and find out more details on what had happened over Roy's sudden departure from the program and the department. They all knew it was devastating emotionally to Johnny which led him to his concern now. Johnny had never been really hurt without Roy at his side encouraging him to recover. What would happen now?

He changed his mask and rewashed his hands before entering the next OR. He saw that Bill had already been here and fixed his leg and ankle which was now freshly casted. What concerned him was the look in Joe's eyes.

"Joe," he greeted him. Looking over he was glad to see that Dixie was also part of the scrub team helping out, "Dix." He winked at her.

"This is a mess Kel," he shook his head as he continued to probe into Johnny's abdomen.

Dixie was keeping count of the used sponges and was alarmed at the rapidly growing number of them, saturated with his blood.

Brackett motioned to the nurse for a gown and set of gloves. After she assisted him with getting them on he moved to the other side of the table, across from Joe. "What'cha got?"

"This rib punctured his lung and lacerated his liver. I'm having trouble controlling the bleeding long enough to get the sutures in. I've already had to remove his spleen but his kidneys are now showing signs of ischemic trauma. If we don't get the blood supply improved to them the damage could be permanent."

Kel made a low growl. He looked up to see blood infusing, "Do we have enough blood?"

"Yes Kel, he's on his 4th unit now," Dixie answered him.

"Damn," Kel said. "Here let me hold this while you suture. What's his pressure?" He asked the anesthetist.

"70/40 doctor."

It was still too low, "Get another unit of Plasmanate going now." Kel barked. Time was running out. The team moved in closer, fighting for this man's life, not only because it was their job but because of who he was to them.

Joanne sat in the kitchen and cried when Hank hung up the phone. Everything had fallen apart. Oh it was good for about a month. Roy moved up with them and she knew that he was putting everything he had into making it work. But it didn't last long. First he had a terrible time finding a job and when he did, she knew he hated it. Roy was just not a desk jockey and he was going stir crazy. They were still stuck in a stupid apartment until the house in Carson sold so he didn't have a yard to get out and expel his energy. Over time it had taken a toll on him and his mood darkened. She knew he never took it out on the kids; in fact he seemed to be best buddies with them. It was her that took the brunt of his frustrations. She quit her job to be at home again but for them to afford the rent and the house payment he had to take a second job. That was when the depression and silence started.

Nothing she tried made a difference and after a few months she knew that even she had stopped trying. She had considered many times telling him about the phone calls. She knew he had been trying to reach Johnny. But she so desperately wanted them to start over, to leave the world of firefighting behind them. Then last week when he came home with Jenny crying and Chris bruised up from a fight he had exploded after hearing her divert a call.

"How many times has he called?" He had demanded to know.

"I don't know, some but I thought you were already calling him." She knew it was a lie but he was mad herself now.

"How dare you even think you can keep me from my friends. I told you I would leave the job but not my friends behind. So I'm telling you right now things are going to change."

Then the earful started of what would change. She wasn't to divert calls anymore; she was to change the kids to another school. She was to get a part time job and help pay the mortgage until the house was sold.

It was then that he gave her an ultimatum. Things would get better or he was going back to LA. It didn't take long either. She didn't want to work again, the school options for the kids was very limited in this little town so all they could do was change classes, and the phone never rang again for him. That was when he sat her down early yesterday and told her his news.

"Jo, I've taken the house off the market and will be moving back down to LA tonight. This isn't working, not for me or for Jenn and Chris. We tried to make it work but what you want from me is just not what I can give you. It's like I'm being torn apart from the inside between here and there. Jo, something is telling me I have to be there. It's reached the point that I'm afraid for Johnny's life."

"Johnny! This is over him?!" She yelled.

"No this isn't all about him but it is about my gut telling me that something is very wrong. I keep trying to reach him but he won't call me back. It's about my job and who I am Jo. You should know by now that being a fireman and paramedic is part of my blood, it's not my job, it's my life. One day I might lose my life doing it but I could also die walking across the street here. I plan to spend the rest of my time doing what is so important to me. If you can't understand that then you never will."

She just cried. He was really leaving this time.

"I've already done all the paperwork to return to the department. I've also already taken the house off the market. I'm leaving tonight Jo and this last part is not negotiable because it will happen."

When he told her his last demand she ran out the door, she was losing everything.

He paced outside the OR almost frantic over how long it was taking. He tried to reach him in time but he had failed him. His friend. That image of him falling would never leave his mind and if Johnny didn't make it through this he would never forgive himself for being so stupid.

"How are ya doing son?"

He turned around to the voice to see Chief McConnikee coming up behind him, "Okay sir."

"Any word on Gage or Kelly yet?" He asked the deeply concerned man, seeing the exhaustion in his eyes.

"Not yet Chief," he said holding his head down. "I did want to thank you though for getting me on shift so quick. That must have taken some major string pulling you did there."

The Chief smiled, "Well, you were pretty convincing last night and now after seeing this." He looked to the OR doors, "Remind me to never doubt your gut instinct again, ever."

He didn't smile back, "My gut didn't help him this time. I couldn't reach him before…" He couldn't finish, the tears were welling up in his blue eyes now.

Shaking his head, "Son, you were there immediately to treat him. Neither man would have gotten the emergency care they needed so quickly. Don't beat yourself up over this."

He tried to believe the older man but his heart was hurting and until he knew for sure they would be okay he couldn't feel good about anything.

The Chief took him by the shoulder and pushed him around to see the name stenciled on the back of his turn out coat, "Clark huh?"

Now he smiled, "Well, everything just happened so fast this morning Cap told me to grab a coat."

"We'll get your gear straightened out before next shift. Next time a little more warning would be nice though," the Chief said grinning.

"There won't be a next time Chief that I can guarantee you." The medic said with a great air of satisfaction.