6. Reading and Other Odious Things
"It still stinks like shit and murder in here."
"Ew! Gaaag!"
"Oh, fuck, I'm glad I didn't eat another lunch today."
The complaints and scattered retching noises filtered into the hallway Dib and Laura walked briskly through on the ROOT side of skool. Dib was pleasantly surprised to hear that Laura's assigned class was his. It would hopefully help break up the monotony of Zim's stupidity every block.
"Hey, Dib. I was meaning to ask, what's STEM and ROOT stand for?"
"Oh, you mean you've never heard of it? Not even STEM?" Dib was taken aback. "Well - they're the two departments of classes that make up the school. STEM's got all the science stuff, and ROOT's got all the not-science stuff. So it makes sense, you see-"
"Not-science stuff? Like... English and foreign languages?"
"No. Manual labor. ROOT stands for "Reading and Other Odious Things," and if we're not on a reading day, then we do other activities. If your performance wasn't good enough in the first month of skool, you'd be moved to a primarily labor-focused class."
"Ah, okay. So you guys are the future factory workers of the City. Well, I'm glad my placement exam went swimmingly." Laura appeared to relish that word and nodded to herself, but seemed disappointed in the situation. She wondered what the other straggler kids around her were doing in their respective classrooms.
They approached Room 250, the hall's penultimate classroom on the left. Laura followed behind Dib now, unsure about what to do next.
Dib turned around slightly."Just to clarify, this isn't a labor-intensive block. Bunting is the exact opposite of Bitters. You'll be fine!" And on that positive note, he opened the security door. "Hurry, before the field activates."
Hustling through, the two students took two seats in the front. The others left every seat around Dib available out of what Laura surmised was mere annoyance, and rearranged themselves further away to accommodate for the new kid's presence.
"I see we have a new member joining us that I somehow was not told about!" A young woman in gentle grays approached from the back of the classroom. Ms. Bunting's weary smile betrayed chronic fatigue. So unprepared was Laura for a strawberry blonde female who only looked a few years older than her students, that her demeanor did a 180. She shook hands with the unexpectedly personable authority figure and set her things down quietly, unable to resist giving back a guarded, tight-lipped smile.
"You're Ms. Bunting, right? I'm Laura. New kid. First day." Stupid question. Unnecessary information. Sentence fragments.
"Correct! That would be me, and welcome to my ROOT class. Did Dib here finally find a friend he could tell his stories to?"
"Uhh..." Laura folded her arms, unsure what she meant by stories. "Not yet...?"
"Oh, you're in for a treat. He loves sci-fi. In fact, he wouldn't stop talking about his little theory that Zim is from outer space in the beginning of the semester. Poor boy just has a skin condition, though, so I had to stifle Dib's creativity and let others participate in our bonding circle."
"So we mostly do creative writing here?" Laura gingerly sat down in her chair. It felt a bit nasty. Gummy, even. Her eyes darted around at nothing.
"Most of the time, yes." Bunting turned to the rest of the class. "Can anyone tell Laura (She can't say my name the Spanish way? Laura thought) what our objectives are for the academic year?"
A cheer team member raised her hand. "Do well on the skoolwide benchmark exams but also have fun exploring and developing the right side of our brains! And don't tell that last part to Bitters!"
Murmurs of agreement from classmates confirmed her response was accurate and she beamed, flipping her crazy cobalt hair over her shoulder.
"Exactly, Baby Ruth! That is normally what we dedicate our time to. However, the last block had to work on pig dissections and they left a little mess for us to clean up, so unfortunately, that task will be ours for the day. We resume normal lessons tomorrow."
That's when it hit most everyone sitting down that they'd committed a mistake. Wordlessly, the majority rushed to step away from their desks, lifting their belongings and relocating them elsewhere. Dib grimaced. So thaaat's why it still smelled gross.
"Cleaning supplies are by the giant bean bag! Please be extra quiet. I'm going to nap." And just like that, Ms. Bunting threw on a fuzzy hooded poncho and withdrew to the back of the class again.
"Well, let's get started by cleaning our butts first, I guess," quipped Laura.
The blue-haired girl who spoke up a while back laughed. Aww, she - I must have been too loud. She shouldn't have heard me from beyond arm's length. For some reason, she went into a taciturn state, unsure what other unpredictable thing would happen next. Dib ignored or hadn't heard the intrusive noise, as he had quickly stepped towards the back to pick up a dozen of the rough, absorbent sheets of paper provided.
Nah, it couldn't have been for me. Others were talking in hushed tones all around the room as they picked up the crumb-sized bits of flesh scattered around desks and sanitized the surroundings and their clothing.
Dib came back with enough stuff for a few desks, and his new partner in crime got to work. The hard surfaces were easy stuff. It was dealing with the stains on her clothing that stressed her out.
"Hey, Dib. Did you happen to sit on anything organic? Like crusty blood or poop?"
Dib looked a little green. "I... don't think so. What about you?" His hands clutched at the hem of his trench coat, which hovered dangerously close to the floor even with his chunky platform boots.
"I think I did. I just don't know which it is. Do you mind checking? One is infinitely harder to get out than the other, and my nose doesn't work anymore."
"The seat looks like something dried on it. So, blood?"
"Ah, tch." the girl grimaced and sucked her teeth. "Fucking nasty old blood on my jeans. I need hydrogen peroxide. Like, right now. Sanitizer won't cut it. Or, I guess, I'll just... rub it in... make it even..."
The girl walked over to the social pariahs with a smile on her otherwise unreadable face. "You're funny, for a new kid." She looked down, her smile becoming subtly strained, as she took in what Laura was doing.
Silence from the duo. She pressed on. "Why are you hanging out with Dib? He's so annoying. Don't you know any better?"
"Uh, what?" Dib's brow furrowed. The two exchanged looks.
"Yeah, what?" Laura repeated.
"It's your first day and all. Why are you wasting your time with him?" she repeated. "He has literally no redeemable features." The new kid reflexively frowned.
"And I am literally rubbing pig blood into my clothing. Please just leave me alone or you're next."
Brows furrowed upwards in polite distress, the blue haired girl pressed on.
"Okay, I won't go any closer. But his big head is going to get you in more trouble. Are you sure you don't want to start over while you still can? I can make room for you in the back with my cheer team sisters." She waved at three other girls who had only succeeded in setting down a thick layer of tissues on top of everything their shoes, butts, or bags touched. It looked like a really obvious social trap of some sort.
"Nah."
"Everyone knows what happened to you in STEM block. Don't say I didn't warn you when you get on Gaz's nerves," she added in a singsong voice, and flounced away, noticeably less enthusiastic. Neither Dib nor Laura could tell if she was sincere. A few other kids glanced up at them, noting a disturbance in the order of things.
"Okay." She concluded the conversation with that acknowledgement and continued to rub the stuff in. "I don't know what that was about. I don't understand people like her or what they want from me." Or what Gaz has to do with anything.
"I have no idea either."
"Well, her hair's nice looking."
A moderately comfortable quiet moment passed again, during which most everyone in the classroom had cleaned up adequately and was able to relax or begin to work on outside projects. Both students struggled to think of what to say next. Something of a quiet anxiety from her innermost thoughts finally popped into Laura's head.
"Um, what happens in detention? It's been bugging me for way too long that I don't know."
Dib became still, a thousand-yard stare appearing on his face. Laura felt her own heart beating tremulously. I've read enough books like Matilda to know what that means.
"They sit you down in a cell with a few other desks and you must look forward at all times. You can't move. You can't use the restroom. You can't talk, or use a phone, or even do your homework until the time is up. Bitters supervises sometimes, but she's nowhere near the worst person in charge of it most days."
"Aw, gee, that doesn't sound so bad-"
"It's a horrible experience that gets worse the more you visit." He held his head in his hands and looked up at the ceiling, exhaling deliberately. "Prisoners have more rights than we do."
"I can't even imagine why you'd be in detention, of all people. Did you get into a fight with someone?"
"Yeah, a few times. Zim."
"No way!"
"I'm not proud of it, but only because it didn't have the effect I expected. He wasn't even given equal punishment."
"Okie dokes..."
"I can tell you about it after after-skool! It's almost time to leave."
Her heart dropped to the pit of her navel at that. Time sure flew, didn't it? "So, uh, any last-minute tips on surviving the detentions here?"
Dib eyed the clock on the wall above the door, making silent calculations of some sort. "Sit in the farthest row from the front if you can help it. Don't make eye contact. Use the restroom beforehand. And they'll search your belongings at the door."
"What?" Laura's eyes bugged out at 'search.' "No! They can't search my stuff. I don't have any contraband, I swear. But I don't want my stuff searched! Can you hold onto my things for me?" She started emptying out her pants pockets. Various baggies of nuts and seeds appeared from the tiny voids separated from the world by zippers and button flaps. "These are all edible. I need them with me but it's not urgent if I don't have them for a couple of hours."
Dib sat quietly, assessing the situation and passively accepting Laura's things. His glasses glinted.
"Give me your whole backpack! I'll take care of it."
Laura looked up at him in awe. "Really?"
"We'll be seeing each other afterwards, anyway. Why not?"
"Perfect! Yes! Thank you. You're a genius!" Laura opened her arms up with half a mind to give him a hug, but stopped herself and clutched her own hands instead. She stretched and looked away from her pack-sitter. "I totally owe you one."
After placing all her food items into wherever they fit in the overloaded black backpack ("There's a system to this, I swear!"), she deftly hoisted it up from the desk and into Dib's hands. It was surprisingly heavy to him. Only a few minutes stood between now and the end of the skool day.
"Please don't let it get stolen, okay?"
"We can meet at the front of the skool whenever you're out. I'll be waiting!"
Around them, the class heaved a collective sigh as the security fields lifted. Laura had no idea what to expect in detention, but her nerves were threatening to betray her. Her jaw clenched on its own. I need to go back to the front office and ask where this is happening. I need directions, and I need to steel myself. And I need to trust this guy with my world, my precious things. But we get along well so far.
Everyone else streamed out at varying speeds, some wishing a still-sleeping Ms. Bunting well. Laura and Dib lingered warily, avoiding eye contact with the others. The message had been confirmed - Laura was another nobody. She now felt secure in that knowledge of her social status.
"Okay, I'm gonna go now."
"I'll be here for the next half hour grading work for Bunting, so if you leave early, try coming back to the ROOT side."
"Got it. Okay, I'm really going now."
"Okay, see you!"
"See you. S-soon. Bye." Laura had never been one for a smooth exit.
Dib's lip curled in restrained amusement as she disappeared into the hall with a funny running gait. He turned his attention to the far end of the classroom, where Bunting was just waking up.
The two conversed about the typical things - impending tasks, her fatigue levels today, the City's currently decreasing literacy level - before the ROOT teacher brought Laura up.
"I'm glad there are two of your kind in this institution. It'll be good for both of you to hang onto each other."
"She's made an interesting impression so far." Dib thought back to Gaz at lunch time and how she did not become immediately violent.
"Oh, she's special. I can just tell with some students. Troubled, but special."
"I don't doubt it, Ms. Bunting. You got my personality type right the first time around."
"And your aura color!"
Dib laughed. "Right."
The clock ticked on silently, unnoticed in the paced flourish of turned-over papers.