Title: Chuck vs. Life
Author: marybr
Characters: mainly Chuck/Sarah (but the regulars are there – Casey, Ellie, Morgan, Awesome, etc.)
Chapters: 10/?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters portrayed in this fic. I'm gaining nothing with this, except the sheer joy of being Chuck/Sarah's puppet master. I do own Julia, 'though :D
Summary: First of all I suck at summaries, so regard this fact as you read this. The fic fits right after the last episode aired (1x11), and it basically picks up after those events. It's nothing more than Chuck and co. moving on with their lives, and especially centering on how Chuck and Sarah will deal with their mutual feelings. I know, this summary blows… Just read the first chapter, and you'll get a sense of what is actually about.
A/N: Well, thanks for all the reviews! And for the new faces (princessdeleon, SarinaDanally, windsweptsilence, shadyrenee): welcome! Thanks for taking the time to write a review! It means a lot.
Nattylovesjordy, just put down the water gun. The new chapter is here! Lol
Sarina, thanks for taking the time to write a review. There are so many people that read and don't write a review (honestly myself included at times), but I'm glad you decided to do so. I must say that you really got what I was trying to portray with Sarah's emotions, and you were spot on about the jacket. That was exactly was I tried to imply!
Windsweptsilence, I'm glad you managed to stick around. Now, is Julia really that bad? Lol
Without further ado here's chapter 10 (the longest so far, by the way). It took me more effort to write this one, 'cause there were so many lose ends to tie. I hope you guys are not disappointed with the portray of all the interactions you were all so eager to read. Anyhow, enjoy!
Chapter X
Sarah was back sitting on the waiting area sofa when Ellie and Awesome crossed the front door in a rush. Ellie was blinded by worry and didn't even saw the blonde woman hopelessly sitting there. She was heading straight and on full gear to the admissions desk. Awesome, on the other hand, noticed Sarah there and stopped his fiancé. He pointed out Sarah to Ellie, and both started going to her direction.
Sarah's heart raced when she caught sight of the couple. There it was. The dreadful moment she would have to really tell Ellie what had happened to her brother. She didn't know exactly how she would say it; she had tried to come up with some sort of script, some sort of list of topics to be able to deliver the information the best way possible on these last few minutes; but she wound up with nothing. So, when Ellie and Awesome started coming towards her, she knew she would have to improvise as she went on with it.
Sarah, who was no longer clutched to Chuck's jacket – she willed herself to simply have it neatly placed on her lap -- stood up to meet them both.
"Sarah, what happened? Where's Chuck?" the brunette asked rather frantically, while Awesome's arm was protectively wrapped around her shoulder.
Sarah knew this was it; it was time to deliver Casey's little story. To be completely honest, it was not like she had never lied before, in fact her whole career was made of it. She was great in this department. However, in this case, she actually cared about the players involved.
"This is so difficult to say, Ellie. Someone tried to steal the car… Something went wrong, and Chuck, uh… Chuck, well; he was shot," she put softly.
"Shot?! But, uh… Someone tried to steal his car? Who would want to steal a nerdmobile?" she asked sitting down on the sofa, overwhelmed by the news.
"They didn't try to steal his car," she began, trying to build up courage to say the next part.
"They tried to steal mine," she completed, looking straight into Ellie's eyes.
The fiancés were surprised by that, Sarah could tell.
"Chuck was with me. He was doing me a favor; I had this friend's party to go to, and I was invited to it when we were still a couple. So, they expected me and my boyfriend. Now that we are broken up I wasn't feeling like getting bombarded with questions about why we were no longer together. Chuck, being Chuck, offered to tag along with me just for the night," she said without catching a breath.
"And when we were heading back home this guy showed up. He wanted my car, and I was more than willing to let him have it; but I guess he got nervous and wound up shooting Chuck, and running empty handed," she added in such a low tone that they could barely hear her.
Ellie was about to say something, but Sarah wasn't finished yet. She needed to let this last bit out of her chest.
"It was…" she tried, looking down.
This was so hard for her.
"It was my fault. I shouldn't have dragged him to that party with me," she concluded, eyes still on the floor; she couldn't face them.
Sarah knew this wasn't the real reason she was guilty when it came to Chuck getting shot; but one reason or the other it was her fault. She should have protected him better. She shouldn't have handed him the box, and if she didn't she would be the one lying on that gurney, not Chuck. She thought the only thing she was good at was her job, but it didn't feel so right now. She asked Chuck to trust her, and he trusted his life to her. In the end she failed; she failed him. And that hurt her like she never thought possible.
Ellie looked at Awesome, and he looked back at her. Both could tell at that time that they shared the same thoughts, without even having to voice them.
"Sarah, hey," the brunette said standing up, and trying to break the blonde's fascination with the floor.
It worked 'cause Sarah's eyes were now on Ellie's. She took the blonde's hands on hers.
"This wasn't your fault. Accidents happen, as much as we'd like them not to. Nobody here blames you," she added midst a weak smile.
Awesome nodded and matched his fiancé's smile. Sarah felt relieved, really relieved. She didn't plan on it when she first started this mission, but she found herself caring about what all these new people in her life thought about her. So, she smiled back at them.
"Now let's see how my brother is doing. I gather the hospital's staff didn't let you in on it," she said, suddenly gaining some sort of self-control over her nervous state.
Sarah simply shook her head 'no', with an annoyed look on her face.
"I don't know why but I get the feeling that everything will be okay," Ellie added softly.
"Yeah, me too," Awesome said in his typical Captain voice.
The three of them shared a warm feeling, and hopeful smiles graced their features. And with that positive vibe they went towards the admissions desk. When they reached it the same nurse as before was going through some papers behind the desk.
"Hello, I'm Ellie Bartowski. My brother was brought here with a gunshot wound. His name is Charles Bartowski; I'd like to know how he's doing," she said politely.
Sarah and the nurse exchanged looks, and the agent couldn't help but smirk.
"I'll see what we have here," the nurse said sitting in front of the computer, and punching something on the keyboard.
"Well, your brother is still in surgery. We don't have much more…," she put flatly.
She took a quick glance at Sarah, and could see the worry. Not only on her face, but on the sister's as well. It wasn't like she didn't want to help before, she did; but she couldn't.
"But if you take a seat at the waiting area, I'll go there right now and bring you an update," she added looking up at them.
"That would be great," Ellie said midst a smile.
Awesome smiled at the woman as well. The nurse looked at Sarah and offered a half smile as some sort of peace offering. The blonde took it, and smiled back. She could tell that the nurse was a hard-ass, but deep down she knew she was just doing her job. Even 'though it made her highly annoying before.
A few moments later the trio was seating at the edge of the sofa when the nurse came back. The tension was beyond palpable, everyone was extremely nervous. They all got up at the same time.
"I talked to his doctor, and they managed to contain the bleeding. He's closing him now, and will be with you shortly to explain the situation," the nurse reported.
"Thank you," Ellie replied.
The nurse was about to leave but was interrupted by Ellie.
"I'm, uh, we're doctors at L.A. Medical Center…" she added motioning between herself and Awesome.
"Good for you," the nurse cut her.
"I mean, can't I enter the O.R. just a bit to watch how everything is going?" she tried her luck.
"Being a doctor I believe you know what my answer will be," the ironic nurse delivered.
"I had to try," the brunette conceded.
The nurse turned around to leave, and without turning back she said to Ellie midst a half-smile,
"Well, nice try."
It didn't take long for the doctor to come, and once again all three hurriedly stood up. Awesome had his arm around Ellie, and Sarah was standing very close to the brunette woman.
"Are you Bartowski's sister?" he asked without ceremony.
"Yes, I'm Ellie Bartowski," she replied promptly.
"Well, Miss Bartowski; your brother came in with a gunshot wound, and he had lost a considerable amount of blood. We were able to remove the projectile and stop the bleeding. Luckily the bullet didn't hit any of his organs on the way in. Anyway, the surgery was a complete success. Your brother will be fine," the doctor stated managing to offer a small smile at the end.
The three of them smiled brightly. Sarah felt like a huge load was lifted off her back, her eyes were shining. Awesome gave Ellie a quick kiss, and Ellie hugged Sarah tightly.
"We'll transfer him to a room now. Because of the sedatives he won't wake up for a couple of hours, but you may see him if you wish. Now, if you excuse me," the doctor added.
"Sure! Thanks doc," Awesome said enthusiastically.
The doctor went away, leaving the trio to bask on the recent good news.
"Here, take Chuck's jacket. I have to make a quick phone call but I'll catch up with you in a minute," Sarah said handing Ellie the piece of clothing.
"Ok, I'll see you there," the brunette replied.
While Sarah was making a collect phone call to Casey's cell – from the new found hospital's pay phone -- to inform him that Chuck would be fine, Ellie was surprised by some tune coming from Chuck's jacket. She inspected the jacket and found his iPhone ringing. Julia's photo was on the screen. Ellie answered and told her succinctly that Chuck had been hurt, but that he was no longer in danger. She informed the blue eyed woman in which hospital they were, and the latter promised to arrive as soon as possible.
They moved an unconscious Chuck to room number 102 and, with a little persistence, they managed to persuade the ironic nurse to let the three of them stay in the room with the patient. Ellie took a good look at her brother who seemed so helpless and fragile on that hospital bed, and couldn't help but get watery eyes. She kissed him gently on the cheek, took a seat at a chair by his bedside, and held his left hand.
Sarah also took a look at Chuck on his bed, and got emotional. Not that she showed that to the other people on the room. It was really something odd to see someone you really care about lying on a hospital bed. It made Sarah feel vulnerable to see him so vulnerable. And that was a feeling she didn't like to feel at all. However, the last thing she was caring about now was what she was supposed to feel, she would just feel and the heck with "supposed". So, she did what she wanted for a change. She took a nearby chair, sat on the other side of his bed, and held his right hand.
Ellie, who was watching the blonde woman, smiled at her. Sarah reciprocated the gesture. Awesome stood by the bottom of Chuck's bed reading his chart. While they waited for him to wake up, Ellie shared some childhood stories starring Chuck as the main star. Stories that would pretty much embarrass the hell out of him if he was awake. They shared some light hearted laughs and it helped to lighten up their mood a bit.
One hour passed and Chuck still hadn't woken up. The hospital chairs were starting to take their toll on the three people at room 102.
"I'm going to grab some coffee for you, girls; and also take the chance to stretch my legs a bit. I'll be back in a flash," the Captain said giving Ellie a kiss on the cheek.
"Yeah, I could use a leg stretch too. I have to go the ladies room," Sarah said honestly.
"Ok, I'll wait you both here," Ellie replied.
Awesome opened the sliding glass door, and he and Sarah left the room together. She made a right to the ladies room, and he made a left to the cafeteria. While they were leaving the room Julia was at the admissions desk; she saw Awesome and Sarah leaving a room and parting ways.
"Never mind, I know where he is. Thank you very, very much," she said flirtatiously to the male nurse, rushing towards Chuck's room.
Julia entered the room and saw Ellie sitting by her boyfriend's bedside. She went to Ellie and hugged her.
"I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here. I went to a concert on the other side of town with Linda, and I was just leaving there when I talked to you on the phone. So, I had to really speed to get here fast, but then this officer made me pull over. I didn't have the time to flirt my way out of the speeding ticket; so, I just wished he'd give the damn thing to me already. No, that would be too easy! Instead he had to give me this whole speech on safe driving first thenhe gave me the ticket. I'll tell you," Julia cried out fast and without taking a breath.
"Plus, arriving here I had to really flirt my way into this room. They really have a thing with the non family member policy, don't they? I'm sorry, I'm babbling. I kinda do that when I'm completely and utterly nervous. How's Chuck? What happened?" she spat out a mile a minute, taking her time to look at her boyfriend.
"He was a victim of a robbery, and he wound up getting shot," Ellie said softly.
"Oh, my God! He was shot?! I need to seat down; I thought he cut himself, or had his appendices removed," the blue eyed lady said, sitting on the chair previously occupied by Sarah.
She took another look at Chuck sort of making sure he was really ok. This time Julia was the one to hold his hand, and that didn't go unnoticed by Ellie either.
"How did this happen?" she asked, concern all over her voice.
"This guy tried to steal the car," Ellie began softly.
"Who would steal a nerdmobile?" Julia matched Ellie's previous question.
Ellie wasn't sure if it was her place to tell Julia what happened. Maybe Chuck would appreciate if he was the one to tell his girlfriend that he was doing his ex a favor escorting her to a party. And he was unfortunate enough to get shot on their way out. However, Ellie hated lying, and the truth would come out sooner or later. So, she told Julia everything. Stressing the part that Chuck couldn't help to be a nice guy, he couldn't help to see a friend struggling with something, and help out. Everything was very innocent and nothing happened. That part Ellie added by herself, but she knew it was true. Her brother wasn't the cheating type at all.
Julia seemed to be very cool with the whole situation. She didn't even mention to Ellie that she had seen Sarah leaving the room a few moments ago. All she seemed to care was that Chuck was doing very well, and would wake up very soon. Ellie was surprised by that. If that happened to her and Devon she'd want at least a couple of explanations. Maybe she was saving them for Chuck, she thought. Either way she was glad everything went smoothly.
Sarah was making her way from the bathroom to Chuck's room, but when she reached the sliding glass door she spotted Julia inside talking to Ellie. She took a step back so both women couldn't see her, but she would still be able to see them. She watched the interaction between them. Nothing out of the ordinary, just talking. Very much like what she was doing before Julia came. She noticed that Julia was at her previous seat now, holding Chuck's hand the same way she did moments before. And then something clicked inside her. She didn't belong in there… not anymore.
She really wanted to stay and wait for Chuck to wake up, but it would be all too much. Her presence there it would clearly only bring awkwardness. The last thing she wanted now was to create any more problems for Chuck; she had created trouble already as it was. It would be best for everybody if she just made a discrete getaway. And there was also the cover up story, she had even forgotten about that. She needed to leave. Now.
Sarah started to back away, and when she finally turned to head out, she bumped into someone. Captain Awesome. It was too good to be true, she thought. Making a clean getaway wasn't in the cards for her.
"Hey. Where were you headed to?" he asked holding a coffee support with three cups of coffee in it.
"Hi, yeah, uh… I actually, I have to go home," she tried awkwardly.
Awesome looked through the sliding glass door and saw his fiancé talking to Julia. He might be clueless, but he wasn't this clueless.
"You don't have to leave, you know," he added sympathetically.
"I know, I know… I just have to go home. When he wakes up tell him I'll visit him later, ok?" the blonde said, looking more at the floor than at Awesome's face.
"I'll deliver the message," he said midst a smile.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" he tried one more time.
"Yes. See you later," she delivered heading to the front door.
Awesome made his way to the room shaking his head.
It had been almost two hours since Chuck came out of the O.R., and still he hadn't woken up. They were starting to get impatient, and a tad scared, when his legs started to move a little. The three of them stood up quickly and rushed to his bedside. Ellie and Awesome at one side, and Julia at the other.
"Hey, Chuck," Ellie said barely above a whisper.
He continued to move slowly, but didn't open his eyes.
"Sarah? Sarah?" he said in a husky, low voice.
Julia sort of reacted to that a bit, but hid it pretty fast for anyone to really notice.
"No, sweetie. It's Ellie; Sarah was here, but she had to go home. She told Devon she'd come to visit you later," she said in the same tone as before.
He opened his eyes slowly, and with a tad of difficult, 'cause they weren't adjusted to the brightness of the room. Then he saw the three people hovering over him.
"Hey, sis. Where am I?" he asked looking around.
"You're at St. Vincent's Hospital. Sarah brought you here after you got shot; she told us everything about what happened to you guys," Ellie said softly.
Chuck could be a little out of it, but he knew Sarah wouldn't have told them everything that really happened that night. He had to fish to discover what she had made up.
"And what was that exactly? I can't quite remember everything, just some bits and pieces," he managed to improvise.
Ellie told him everything just like Sarah had told her earlier. He couldn't help to direct his gaze towards Julia, whom he knew should be really upset that he cancelled plans to go out with her to go out with his ex instead. They couldn't create a better scenario for him, no, he thought.
"Are you feeling ok?" Julia spoke for the first time.
Chuck couldn't detect any sort of anger in her tone of voice, but he could be too groggy to tell. She even let out a small smile, which must have been a good sign; he thought.
"Yeah, just a little groggy. Not that I'm complaining, 'cause I have a very low pain threshold," he said matching her smile.
"Great to see you awake, man," Awesome said smiling, to which Chuck nodded smiling as well.
Ellie sat on the side of his bed, and held his hand.
"You know, you gave me quite a scare tonight," she said softly and yet emotionally.
"I know; I'm sorry, sis," he replied looking at her in the eyes.
"I mean, you could have…," she couldn't bring herself to say it.
Her eyes were all watery, and she was all chocked up.
"Hey, hey…," Chuck said giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
"What would I do without you?" she said regaining control of her voice.
"Just promise me you will never pull something like that on me again, ok?" she added hugging his lying form gently.
"I promise, sis," he said softly on her ear.
At this point Ellie couldn't contain her tears anymore; so, she let them free to roll down her red face. Chuck knew that was an empty promise. Ever since he was involved in this government "experiment", he knew his life as he once knew was over. And safety wasn't something that he could really rely on, it would be foolish and naïve to think otherwise; yesterday was a harsh reminder of that. However, Ellie didn't need, nor could, be burdened with this naked truth. So, he would try as hard as he could to hold on to that promise; as difficult as it might be.
After the emotional portion of the night was over, and the doctor came to check up on Chuck; they all just stayed there making sure he was comfortable, you know, handing him water, adjusting his pillows, and all that jazz.
"Hey, Devon and I will go to the cafeteria to eat something. Can you watch him for a little while, Julia?" Ellie asked standing up beside Awesome.
"Sure, go ahead. I'll make sure he doesn't strain himself reaching for the tv control," she joked light hearted.
The four of them shared a laugh.
"Can we bring you something?" Ellie asked.
"No, I'm good. Thanks!" Julia replied.
So, the newly engaged couple left the room. Julia took a seat on the side of Chuck's bed.
"Hey," he said softly midst a full smile.
"Hey, yourself," she replied reaching for the tv control.
"Let's see if anything good is on," she added pushing the 'on' button.
"I think we need to talk, about, uh, you know… what happened," he said awkwardly looking at her.
Julia, on the other hand, had her eyes on the television as she kept flipping the channels.
"Oh, we don't have to talk about this right here, right now. We can do it later," she replied still not taking her eyes away from the tube.
"No, I think it's best if we get it all out in the open now," he said softly grabbing gently the hand she held the remote control with.
She turned the tv off and turned around to face him without saying anything.
"Jules, I know I cancelled our date to the concert saying I had to work after hours, while in reality I took Sarah to her friend's party. And I get that this sounds pretty bad, but I really can explain…," he said honestly, but was interrupted by Julia.
"Ok, I really didn't want to do this right now, but you leave me no choice. See, Chuck; you don't have to explain anything to me. You really don't," she said serenely.
"I," he said trying to cut her.
"No, please; just let me finish," she quickly interjected.
He pursed his lips and nodded.
"This isn't about the fact that you cancelled our plans, lied to me about having to work, and went to a party with your ex instead. Obviously I have issues with my boyfriend doing something like that to me, but come on, I know you Chuck. It's so you to go to such lengths to help out a friend. If that was all I'd say we would eventually work things out; but it isn't, is it?" she asked shaking her head 'no'.
"This is about the constant exchange of lingering looks, the many times you're there with me but your mind is somewhere else completely, the way your eyes sparkle every time anyone barely mentions her name," Julia said softly and knowingly but was once again was cut by him.
"That's not, uh, that isn't…" he tried to defend himself, but this time she was the one to cut him.
"You don't have to deny it, Chuck," she said genuinely, and with a bittersweet smile on her face.
"However, there's always a slightest chance that I'm wrong. As hard as it is for anyone to believe, it has happened before," she joked gracing the same smile.
"So, I want you to just look straight into my eyes and say that you don't have strong feelings -- I will even refrain from using the 'l' word here – for, uh, Sarah, and I will believe you. We'll drop this and I'll never, ever bring this up again," she finished with certainty.
Julia couldn't believe she was actually doing this. She was actually voicing the concern she had from day one of this relationship. However, she have never had the courage to speak up, until now. Maybe it was because she feared the answer, or even better, she knew all too well what it would be.
"I…," he tried.
Chuck couldn't say anything. He couldn't lie, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything that would hurt her either. He liked her, and as much as he wished it was enough it clearly wasn't. Neither for him or for her.
So, silence fell upon them. Chuck looked into Julia's big blue eyes, and she looked straight back into his. She wished he had just said something, 'cause his silence to that question hurt her more than a thousand words ever could. She felt like crying, but she held it in.
"Well, I guess your silence pretty much answers my question," she said preparing herself to stand up.
Chuck grabbed her by the wrist to prevent her from getting up.
"Wait, I really like you Julia," he whispered honestly.
"I wish it was enough, Chuck," she replied in the same tone.
On some level Julia always knew she didn't have him completely, but she thought she'd win the rest of him as time went by. The truth was if it didn't happen by now, it never would. The more she dragged this, the more she would end up hurt. And Julia was a practical kind of gal, as much as sometimes she wished she wasn't.
"Me, too," he said squeezing her hand gently.
Julia got up, this time for real. She looked down at Chuck; they locked eyes for a few moments.
"Is this really it?" he asked rather incredulously.
She didn't answer, just gave him a nod midst a forced half-smile.
"What are you going to do?" he asked genuinely interested and concerned.
"I think I'll move back to New York. I've never really felt L.A., you know, all this sunshine, all these actors, and wannabe actors. Plus you can't find a decent bagel in this town," she joked as a self-defense mechanism.
Chuck smiled. He recognized that mechanism all too well; he was a member of that club. They were very much alike, and he really did like her.
"I miss the snow, my family, my friends, culture in general… I guess you can take the girl out of New York, but you can't take New York out of the girl," she added.
"However I'll sure miss driving my car with the windows down, and the sound turned on very loud. There's no way you can have a car in NY City," she continued.
Then she took a good look at Chuck.
"Well, I guess that's not the only 'thing' I'll miss about LA," she finished weakly.
She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts, bent down, and hugged him.
"Goodbye, Chuck. We could have been great," she whispered in his ear.
At this moment she could no longer hold back her tears; so, a couple of them streamed down her face. She pulled back from the hug, and gave him one last passionate kiss. Then in a matter of seconds she rushed out of the bedroom, and out of his life. He thought about stopping her… but didn't. She was right; she was right about everything. And she deserved better than 'good enough'.
"I know," Chuck replied to an empty room.
A/N: Again, I hope you guys are not disappointed with the end product. I struggled to write Julia's farewell, 'cause I wanted to be something really special. I really enjoyed writing her, but we all know the relationship was doomed from the start. And as much as I love her character I love Sarah's more. I can't wait to start cracking on Chuck and Sarah! I wanted to deal with the whole "did Chuck hear Sarah or not" situation after the break-up, but I thought it would be really heartless of him to be thinking about, or rather delving about his feelings for another woman right after ending a relationship with another. Expect to see that on the next chapter. Also, I'm fed up with this hospital storyline; so, it'll take just a little more time to tie the loose ends, and then we shall move on to greener pastures.