The days and nights blended together for Johanna over the subsequent week or so following the announcement. Special officers from the Capitol had come around while Johanna was out in the woods to count up the family members who would be eligible for reaping. Spring had come rather early to 12, pouring down rain just about every other day in angry bursts, reflecting the mood of 12 and all its residents, especially those in the Victor's Village. Gale and Haymitch looked up wearily as Johanna paced around Haymitch's kitchen floor. She had asked them to get together to talk now that some of the dust of the Quell announcement had settled. There were things to be discussed that even she, after weeks of not speaking to anyone, needed to say.
"I'm going in that arena," Johanna began, taking a swig of one of Haymitch's liquor bottles. She paused, her hand on her hip and the other hand with the flask facing out. "So here's the deal. If Haymitch is reaped, my brother will probably want to volunteer. I don't want that to happen but I'm not brainless enough to think I can stop him." Gale went to speak and Johanna shook her head. "No, wait. If you are reaped my brother won't volunteer. He knows you're better than he is. He thinks you'll be protecting me."
"I will be."
Johanna narrowed her eyes. "No. That's where you're wrong. And that's where I need both of you to give me your word. Whatever happens I'm not the one who needs to come out of that arena alive. Either my brother or Gale."
Gale scoffed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing the stubble on his chin. "Absolutely not."
Johanna rolled her eyes at him and looked to Haymitch for support. "You know as well as I do that I am a target. Snow wants me dead. I didn't do as he asked - we didn't do it - and he already came after my family." Her eyes registered pain before she shook her head to clear the cloudiness that loomed. "I'm next. If not me, then Katniss." She avoided Gale's stare and continued to implore Haymitch. "Please give me your word - both of you - that you will do everything you can to protect her."
"Katniss doesn't need protection!" Gale argued, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table. "You are the symbol of rebellion, Jo! You are the one that needs protection. While you live, the rebellion lives."
"I don't give a fuck about the rebellion," Johanna retorted, turning away from both of the men, mostly to avoid Gale's penetrating, accusatory gaze. "I give a fuck about my family. And about Katniss." She hugged her midsection and spun around, leaning against the doorframe. "Any advice on this, mentor?" Johanna asked sarcastically, but with the slightest edge of genuine need.
Haymitch sighed, pain briefly flickering in his eyes before settling them on Gale. "She's right." Johanna grinned smugly. "But not entirely right. Gale is right that you are the symbol of this rebellion, in whatever stage it's in. People will be looking to you to lead."
Johanna tensed and shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "I know," she admitted glumly. "But they're looking at Gale, too." Johanna hefted a sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. "Look, all I wanna know is that if or when I die in that arena, someone is looking out for Katniss. And her family. Whether it be one of you, or my brother, whatever. Someone I trust. I want to know that she'll have someone..." Johanna trailed off, her eyes meeting Gale's. Finally, he understood. She saw the brief flash of pain, then understanding.
Haymitch rolled his eyes at them. "This is larger than which one of you ends up with the girl. The other victors are not going to be happy about this, either. And your 'bravery,'" Haymitch even put his drink down to make air quotes. "Makes it easier for them to come forward in support. In theory." Johanna pulled a chair and sat on it backward, resting her chin on the top of the back. "Victors have a special status in Panem. They are above the law, but under the Capitol's thumb. They are, usually," he gestured around at his decrepit home, "revered in their home districts. They're celebrities, heroes. If they throw their support behind this rebellion, you can be sure the districts will follow."
"So how do we make them support the rebellion?" Gale asked immediately. Johanna glanced over at him; in spite of all the people he needed to protect, he wanted this rebellion more than any of them. Even the stubble on his chin was a thumb at their obsession with making the men clean cut. She also knew, deep down, part of him thought she was a coward. For choosing Katniss over the rebellion. Johanna wanted it too, she felt it inside, but it was becoming harder and harder to put the rebellion before her family, before Katniss. The whole world seemed to shrink behind Katniss. The loss of her sisters and of the innocent people in the Hob made their success seem so unlikely. That was, of course, Snow's plan. To make rebellion seem impossible. Johanna refused to believe that.
Haymitch shrugged. "That I don't know. They also have more to lose. They have families, some of them, and a lot of money. They could easily go to the Capitol and wait out this rebellion there. They could support Snow, though I doubt it."
"Why?" Johanna asked, taking another swig of Haymitch's liquor. He snatched it from her and glared.
"Because you're not the first victor to be a target of President Snow's vengeance." A faraway pain settled in Haymitch's eyes as he downed the rest of the white liquor. "If something happens to you, I will try to make sure that your partner gets out alive. If I can't even do that, then I will try to help your girl and her family."
Gale's expression twitched at Haymitch's words but he nodded. "The rebellion comes first." Gale sighed. "However this shakes out, Johanna, I will protect Katniss. I promise." Johanna went to stand and he placed his hand on hers. She shook him off.
Johanna stood up from the table and kicked the chair gently so it scraped beneath the table. "That's all I want."
Silverware clanked noisily on plates as Johanna, John and the Everdeens sat down to an early dinner. Another heavy Spring rain pounded down around the house, bringing with it an earthy smell through the windows and a warm breeze. Prim attempted several times to begin a conversation but it was like lighting a match in the wind. Johanna didn't eat - her bony wrists and, though clothed, protruding ribs - were the the hallmarks of her terrible diet. Katniss tried not to preach too much but to watch someone perfectly capable of finding food purposefully starving herself, it made her incensed. Johanna moved around the soup in her bowl boredly, watching the warm yellows mix with the greens into a whirlpool inside.
Katniss abruptly cast down her spoon and looked over at Johanna. She grabbed tightly to the wrist that wasn't holding a spoon. "That's it. You need to eat. There's no reason for you to be living like this. I will force feed you in your sleep." She had meant for there to be a tinge of humor to her voice but it was lost.
"Are you my keeper now?" Johanna asked scathingly, wrenching her wrist from Katniss's firm grip. Brown eyes blazed in anger but gray ones shot flames right back. Johanna swallowed because she knew that Katniss was her keeper now. At night she called for her, couldn't sleep without the familiar smell of her and the heat of her body. But her pride rose with the sun and in the daylight she couldn't quite admit to that fact. Especially not in front of the entire family, not that it would be news to them.
"Aren't I?" Johanna's eyes flicked to Mrs. Everdeen as she bit back the instinctual 'fuck you' that had risen in her throat. Katniss noticed Johanna's uncomfortable shift and felt the immediate washing over of guilt. She sighed and consciously softened her expression, attempting a less hostile approach. "Jo, you have to eat. You have to train."
"I don't need to train. I could still kick your ass."
Katniss rolled her eyes. "In your shape I'd take you in a heartbeat."
Again Johanna's eyes flicked to Mrs. Everdeen, swallowing the sexual remark she felt bubbling up inside her. "Why? If my partner is Gale, they'll have us killed before we even get off the platform. If my partner is Haymitch, we're screwed from the start because that drunk idiot couldn't hit the broad side of a house with a cannon." She was almost hoping it would be Haymitch just so Gale could take care of Katniss. Something she hadn't discussed with Katniss but seemed like an obvious inevitability.
"If Haymitch is reaped I'm volunteering," John stated softly, looking up from his dinner across the table to his sister.
"What?" Prim squeaked, looking panicked from her mother to John.
"You sure as shit are not," Johanna retorted with a slap of her palm on the table. "That's exactly what he wants, John. I won't give that old bastard any more blood from this family."
John sighed and calmly dabbed his lips with a napkin. His wide set brown eyes bored into Johanna's. "You can't stop me. If it isn't Gale, your best chance of survival is with me. I can hunt." He looked to Katniss for support. Katniss loathed to give it to him but he possessed the same imploring look that Johanna would give her and she could never refuse her either. She nodded her head. "Katniss has been training me with the bow. And I'm already good with an axe. And-and Gale said it's no different than hunting animals. And I'm real good at that. I helped feed everyone when you and Gale were in the arena."
Johanna's eyes darkened as she looked up from her bowl, a shudder running down her shoulders. "Gale is very, very wrong about that." She peered into her brother's eyes for a few, long moments. She studied his face - the beginning of a very light beard in small patches, the hard set of his jaw, the intensity of his brown eyes. The stubbornness was all too familiar. It smacked of both herself and her father. Unlike Johanna, he got none of their mother's cowardice. "If Gale is reaped you will say nothing, deal?"
John's lips formed the ghost of a smile. "Deal."
"And you will train." Mrs. Everdeen's soft, authoritative voice cut into the silence and all of the young faces looked up. Katniss recognized the tone as the one she used when she was instructing Prim when they had a patient. She cocked a challenging eyebrow toward Johanna. "You both will train every day. Mr. Abernathy should as well. I will put you on a special diet to help you bulk up, and Prim can help with the muscle soreness."
Katniss slowly looked over at Johanna, unable to hide the smug grin on her face. Johanna shot her a glare, then returned her gaze to Mrs. Everdeen. "Okay," she mumbled under her breath, taking a bite of the soup. Properly chastised she stared down into the bowl, hefting another bite into her mouth. "The soup is good, Mrs. Everdeen."
"Thank you, Johanna." Katniss glanced over the table at her mother who merely lifted a small, almost imperceptible smile at her daughter. Then she couldn't help but level another smug stare at Johanna, who promptly nudged her in the arm with her bony elbow. Johanna glared at her again, but this time there was a small smile on her face.
They settled into bed together that night; Johanna no longer fought about Katniss staying or going. Even when she crawled out of her depression from losing her sisters, she craved Katniss's nearness. Katniss was more than willing to oblige. So they got comfortable together, with Johanna's tiny distended belly from finally having eaten some food pressing against Katniss's pelvis. She tossed her leg over Katniss's and dug between her calves with the heel of her foot. She snaked an arm underneath the pillow Katniss was resting on, and the other around her hip, holding her tightly. Katniss's presence was often enough to ward off any nightmares of mutts, the arena, tracker jackers, mine explosions, crumbling edifices, screams of incinerating young girls. Even if they did come, Katniss would push them away with her soft whispers and gentle touches. There was something more between them now, unspoken since the day of the bombing. Johanna had withdrawn so thoroughly into herself that it was a miracle to get her to speak at all, never mind about something romantic. It seemed every time they got somewhere emotionally, something happened to rip them apart. Katniss was hesitant to even try.
Katniss laid there in silence, listening to the steady breathing of the girl curled into her body. She stroked up and down Johanna's spine as she tried to will sleep to come to her. The anxiousness of the reaping that seemed only moments away - though it was months - made it impossible to sleep until pure exhaustion claimed her senses. "I'm sorry." Katniss startled at the sound of Johanna's husky voice and the feeling of her breath against her collarbone where Johanna was tucked in tightly.
"You're sorry?" Katniss questioned softly, brushing back Johanna's hair to encourage her to look up. She did and Katniss was treated to the adorable wideness of Johanna's eyes reflected in the moonlight from the window above the bed. In spite of how fast they'd been forced to grow up, Johanna looked incredibly young as she slept. More like the girl Katniss remembered growing up.
"I've been taking all of this out on you. I know you're trying to help. That you are helping." Johanna swallowed, licking her dry lips. "I hate that this is our life." Johanna's eyes dropped to the bedspread. "I'm not coming back from the arena. And I need to know that -"
"Stop," Katniss interrupted, squeezing her eyes shut. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Tough shit Katniss." Johanna looked up and waited until Katniss finally opened her eyes, brimming with tears. "This is reality. There's a good chance I can get Gale out of the arena, if he's reaped. If that happens, I want to know that... that you're going to be taken care of."
Katniss's heart restricted in her chest with a painful squeeze. However the reaping played out, they would lose each other again. Even if Katniss somehow managed, above all the unreachable obstacles in her way, to survive the Games who knows what shape they'd be in? She hadn't even thought about Gale, selfish as that was. She'd forgotten to give thought that Johanna and Gale would survive and, without her, probably be a couple. Jealousy swam its way into her veins, along with fright and anxiousness. As if sensing her mood, and for the first time since the hut way out in the woods Johanna really, truly kissed her. She clutched at the fabric of Katniss's sleep shirt and brought her even more tightly against her, pressing an earnest, ardent kiss against her lips. Katniss wasted no time returning the kiss, gliding her tongue along Johanna's lips and into her mouth, robbing her of breath as she rolled on to her arm and leaned half her body against Johanna's. Her arm slid around Johanna's waist, holding the small of her back as she tilted her head to allow deeper access to her mouth. The kiss grew hot and wet over a few rapid minutes, with tiny gasps and nibbles of teeth on lips and down the hollow of their throats. Johanna's hand went beneath the fabric of her cotton shirt and drew lines in her skin with her fingertips, forcing Katniss to arch into her body and tilt her head back.
The steaming, frenzied kiss slowed down but Johanna's lips never left hers. For long, wonderful minutes they just enjoyed the sensation of their lips together, fingers gently stroking each other's hair, jaws, necks, backs. The tactile sensation of kissing someone and being held filling their bodies and stoking their warmth. The fire was flaming deep in their bellies but that was not why Johanna had kissed her. It was to convey, even in the smallest way possible, how deeply she felt for her. It was all Johanna could think to do. And when they finished, breathless and both satisfied but achingly needing more, it was all she ever wanted to do. Johanna returned to her sleeping position with her head buried in Katniss's sternum, giving the skin above her heartbeat a kiss. Katniss smiled into her hair and gave the top of Johanna's head a quick peck before burying her face in the pillow. It was bittersweet how badly she wanted that kiss, and how unprepared she was for the ache in her stomach and the wetness and pulsing between her legs that had followed. Each kiss was a countdown to their last. Johanna's voice murmured sleepily against her skin.
"You are mine. And I am yours."
The training proved to be a revolution for Johanna. It transformed her body from a wasteful thing with too many bones and ashy skin to a tanned, muscled machine that could again scale trees faster than a squirrel. Katniss found herself constantly distracted by the flexing of Johanna's muscles as she hurled axes, at the small grunts as she climbed a tree, at the healthy glow she finally emitted. Everything about her was powerful and feminine, and Katniss was very glad she wouldn't have to enter the arena with her. She would die in the first ten seconds because Johanna was far too distracting. She knew it, too, Katniss thought. She'd catch Katniss staring at her and give her that insufferable smirk, or come up behind her when Katniss was poised to shoot her arrow, placing her hand on her elbow to "straighten her shot." The sexual tension at least served to keep their minds off why they were out there.
When Johanna was frustrated - either from the training or from the tension between herself and Katniss - she would chop wood. Something her father had taught her that she found soothing. The rise of the axe, the splinter of the wood, the short output of energy and frustration. It didn't remind her of splintering bones or the sinking of flesh. It was methodical and clean. Mrs. Everdeen was sure they'd had enough wood stockpiled for several winters.
Johanna was livelier at home, speaking on a regular basis and eating without being prodded. Katniss convinced both Gale and Haymitch (reluctantly) and John (excitedly) to join them and they trained like a Career pack, handling weapons and making fires every day until sundown. The weeks seemed to blur by in a haze of routine. They'd awaken and eat a hearty breakfast prepared by Mrs. Everdeen, Madge would bring them newspapers about the burgeoning rebellion, they'd train in the area behind the Victor's Village for hours, settle in for dinner, shower, and sleep. Every so often, the road to sleep for Katniss and Johanna would be punctuated by more fervent kissing but they both would inevitably pass out before anything more than Johanna's hand around Katniss's breast or butt would occur. It was equal parts stymying and soothing.
The day before the reaping they didn't train. They took the lunch Mrs. Everdeen had given them and went deep into the woods, far passed the hut and the lake and deep into the expansive meadow that the woods eased out into. Somewhere there was a small waterfall but Johanna knew she'd never find it. Instead they spread a blanket out in the meadow, easing down without words into the grass. They ate in silence, easily, watching out into the sky like they used to the day of the reaping. It was the last normal thing either of them thought they'd ever do. The outdoors was in their veins as thick as blood and they needed it like oxygen and water. Johanna laced her fingers with Katniss's, brushing her lips against her knuckles and gazing into her eyes. She almost wished she could've taken a picture of her in that moment and kept it with her. Not only how beautiful she looked in the waning sunlight but how tranquil the moment was. Victors aren't afforded tranquility. They get money, power, prestige, and sex. Tranquility was not on that list. Not peace.
The night before the reaping was unseasonably warm. They ate dinner in quiet retrospection with all the windows open, hoping to circulate any cool air. They each took a brief, cold shower, climbing into bed for what Johanna figured was the last time. She'd never get into her own bed with Katniss again, smelling the lemon scent of her soap and massaging out her tired muscles. Katniss knew. She knew this was it. Tomorrow, Johanna's name would be called and she would volunteer. She'd go into that strange, plush room in the justice building and say goodbye to Prim and her mother with the knowledge that she would never see them again. She'd go into whatever room they'd propel her into the arena from without Johanna, knowing fully well she'd never kiss Johanna's lips or hear her laugh. She'd never run her fingers through her hair or be on the end of a sarcastic, teasing remark and see that twinkle in her eyes. The enormity of that thought overwhelmed Katniss and as Johanna turned to cuddle her, Katniss surged against her in a fearsome kiss.
Johanna had no idea. She had no idea how far Katniss was willing to go to make sure Johanna never had to step into an arena again. To see that Johanna would never have to kill another living person, never have to add to her already mounting nightmares. As her lips moved down Johanna's neck, her fingers tangled in soft, black hair, she finally realized why Johanna had volunteered for Prim. The thought of sending Prim or Katniss to their deaths had made the choice for her. Johanna may have even loved her then. Now, looking at this girl who had taken up residence inside her heart and skin, she couldn't imagine sending her into that horror either. She straddled Johanna's hips, squeezing them tightly between her knees. Raising her upper half Katniss took off her shirt, a small smirk on her lips at the wideness of Johanna's eyes as she looked her fill of Katniss's body. Katniss bent down, taking Johanna's lips in another breath-robbing kiss before pulling away. She stayed close for a moment, feeling Johanna's breath against her mouth. Her eyes fell on Johanna's face, looking again young and wide-eyed, like the girl she had seen so many times in school. The older girl with the three young siblings. Then, the older girl with the dead dad, just like hers. The hunter with the axe, quick as a whip with her wit and her blade, smirking in the forest all bravado and sarcasm. The girl with the dead mom, picking fights with anyone who dared speak ill of her. But she had been present on many occasions when Johanna tore her mother down for what she did to the family. With a black eye and bruised knuckles, she'd curse the mother she had almost gotten kicked out of school for defending. Her brave, beautiful girl.
Katniss wondered, as she searched those big brown eyes, how long she had loved Johanna. It wasn't immediate, she knew. She never felt that for anyone, not on first look. Loving Johanna had started slowly, like catching a season fever. A tickle in the back of her throat, a rattle in her chest. It spread through her lungs, to her head, to her heart, filling her with a warmth that no cold could ever chase. A lifelong sickness. She ran her fingers down the side of Johanna's face. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
The girl beneath her looked up into her eyes, searching them for meaning. Long black eyebrows scrunched together and, because Johanna was genuinely baffled, she shook her head no. She sat up with Katniss in her lap, pulling her own shirt over her head and moving her open palms around Katniss's flanks to her back. With her lips pressed in between her breasts she crossed her arms around Katniss's back and held her closely, her ear against Katniss's wildly beating heart. "Maybe," Johanna whispered.
Katniss cupped Johanna's face in her hands, peering down into her beautiful cedar eyes. She felt like she was trying to pour herself into Johanna and they just couldn't ever get close enough. "You will." Johanna had no time to analyze that statement as Katniss pushed their bodies together, pressing their breasts together and causing an electrical sensation to shoot down to her sex. Katniss yanked her hair back and crushed her mouth in a kiss, teeth scraping against her lips as her hurried passion overcame her. Johanna's skin was already damp beneath her fingertips, both from the effort put forth and the sultry heat of the room. Katniss leaned forward, dragging her fingers and palms down Johanna's back until she reached the hem of her pants. She felt Johanna's hand creep up her stomach and cup her breast, then the heat of her mouth around her nipple. Katniss quickly bolted up in pleasure, holding Johanna's head against her as her soft, pliable tongue scraped against the hardened nub. Nothing in her life could have prepared her for what it would feel like to have Johanna's mouth and tongue on her.
Johanna's nose brushed against her ribs as she moved to her other breast, smiling into her skin as Katniss's nails dug into her scalp through her hair, tightening when Johanna gently tugged on the nipple with her teeth. She heard Katniss swear above her head and felt the wetness rush to her own center. Good god it was incredible to hear Katniss coming undone beneath her lips and fingers, Johanna thought as she continued to lavish attention on the wonderful display before her. She kissed each of the freckles on Katniss's collarbone, determined to mark them into her memory. This foray into the arena would be her last and when she died, the image of Katniss with her head thrown back and her chest heaving in pleasure would be a pleasant one to die with. But she needed more. Her entire body thrummed with such intense desire it nearly made her black out. So she tugged off Katniss's sleeping pants and hurriedly discarded her own. Stars burst forth into her vision as Katniss's nakedness pressed on top of her own, fitting their bodies together snugly and sweatily. Johanna ran her fingers down all of what she could reach of Katniss's body, marveling at the soft feel of her skin. Johanna rolled them halfway over so they each rested on their sides and their hands roaming each other's skin deliberately. She grazed the soft flesh of Katniss's inner thigh and groaned into their kiss as Katniss's legs opened almost on their own accord. Her hand slid up to cup the small mound of flesh there, tangling her fingers in sensitive skin, tiny brown hairs and heady slickness.
She had no idea what she was doing. Pleasuring herself was a luxury she could barely afford living in a house with three siblings and impossible in the orphanage. Her knowledge of sex was limited as well; their schooling taught them some basic information but a lot of it was male anatomy and reproduction and that was not going to help here. So she did the only thing she could think of. She listened. As her fingers slid inside Katniss she listened to her breathing change and the small gasps she made. Quickly she realized that stroking the small bundle of nerves near the top of her sex caused the quickest reaction and a jerk of her hips. Johanna grinned into their kiss; she liked that reaction. Her fingers dipped inside her, pushing when she felt the tightness give way a little and she thrusted upward with one finger and Katniss's hands gripped her back so tightly she was certain she had drawn blood.
Slowly Johanna continued that action, pushing inside Katniss and feeling the pulsing and tightening of the muscles inside her sex. Katniss's leg went around the top of Johanna's to bring her closer, to push her deeper. Johanna added a second finger, touching both sides of her walls as her palm bottomed out. Katniss ducked her head into Johanna's chest, kissing and biting her skin as she humped her hips against Johanna's hand. Experimentally Johanna withdrew her fingers and licked the arousal from her fingertips. Deciding it would be an excellent idea to pursue this further, she forced Katniss onto her back and settled in between her parted thighs. Johanna swallowed as her eyes took in the sight before her, one she had never seen and would probably never see again. Her lips curled into a smirk as Katniss's impatient whimpers grunted out above her. Without hesitation Johanna placed her tongue where her finger had been, as deeply inside her lover as she could go. The gasping sounds of pleasure from above spurred her on and she took Katniss by the hips and pulled her down onto her tongue as hard as she could. Katniss propped herself up on her elbows, unprepared for how erotic it would be to watch Johanna move her tongue into her sex. Immediately she felt the tightening of her stomach and a delicious burning inside her core. Johanna's lips moved upward and enveloped her bundle of nerves, now raw and throbbing. She lathered it with her tongue, shaking her head and Katniss tugged on her hair tightly as she crested over in orgasm.
The only thing that Johanna could think with any clarity was that this was as close to worship as she would ever be. For a few more minutes she gently lapped at the leaking arousal, content to feel Katniss's thighs trembling against her arms and hear her breathy moans from above. She used the inside of Katniss's thigh to wipe her mouth and moved up her body, thrilled that she had gotten to touch the girl she had loved since childhood and aching to be touched as well. She placed kisses up her stomach, giving each of her breasts a playful lick and getting an aroused and frustrated glare in return. A grin broke out on her features as she nuzzled into Katniss's neck. "You are so fucking beautiful." There was nothing but pure earnestness in her tone and Katniss rolled her head over to force Johanna to look at her, pressing a closed-mouth kiss against her lips. "I want nothing else from this world but you." The unspoken words were that now that Johanna had Katniss, loved her, tasted her, she could die.
Katniss hummed and smiled. She had no trepidation about her next move. Swiftly she slid her hand down the plane of Johanna's abdomen to her center, thrusting two fingers deeply inside her. Johanna clung to her desperately, eyes wide in surprise and desire. Johanna couldn't even lift her body up; she stayed pressed against Katniss's chest as her hips rolled against her hand. Katniss's other hand came around to squeeze the flesh of her backside, digging her nails into the tender skin. Johanna's muffled cries soaked into her skin and her teeth clamped on to her shoulder, biting tenderly at the olive skin there. Her skin was salty from sweat and Johanna took small licks of it as she continued to bounce her hips. Johanna positioned all of her weight on her knees and concentrated on the swell of warmth tingling from her core. With a few shakes of her hips she drenched Katniss's poorly positioned but incredibly strong hand. Katniss removed her hand, wrapping her arms around Johanna and holding their bodies together closely. "Wow," Katniss breathed out, eliciting a husky and genuine laugh from Johanna.
"Yeah, no kidding brainless." Johanna laid down half on top of her, her leg pressing between Katniss's own. She could feel the lingering wetness on Katniss's thigh and looked down between them. "I feel like we need another shower."
Katniss shook her head. "No. I never want the smell of you off my skin." She hadn't meant for it to come out so possessive, so aggressive, but it did and truth be told, she didn't want to take it back. Johanna blinked a few times but a smile cracked on her lips as she placed her head on Katniss's shoulder. "You are mine. And I am yours."
The humidity had broken overnight but the heat was still oppressive as a small knock awoke Katniss from her slumber. Johanna's naked body was tangled in her own beneath the blanket, resting peacefully in the crook of her shoulder. Prim opened the door, smiling sadly at her sister with Johanna wrapped in her arms. "I thought you'd want to know that we heard the car coming. I think Effie is here." Katniss nodded and Prim closed the door gently. She didn't want to wake Johanna. Maybe if she just let her sleep, let her stay in whatever dream had finally put a smile on her face, they wouldn't have to go to the reaping. But they did, and she would never forgive herself for dragging Johanna from her dreams into the nightmare of reality.
The reaping was different this year. Instead of the small pen for the young kids and other ineligible residents, there was a small pen at the front of the stage for the possible tributes in front of the large, sweating, anxious crowd. As the families filed in Johanna, Haymitch and Gale were kept inside the Justice Building's hallway. Once everyone had gotten in front of the stage and instructed on the volunteering, the three victors emerged. Johanna looked down, finding the familiar, calm face of her brother. Her eyes moved along the line, going through the Hawthornes, John. Katniss. Prim. Mrs. Everdeen. Her heart stopped. She looked over at Effie, who was about to reach into the bowl. "Wait, no. What are they doing here? They're not family," Johanna protested, looking over at Gale for support. He did not look surprised. Romulus Thread, the new Head Peacekeeper stepped forward and looked at Johanna.
"Is there a problem?"
"You're damn right there is." Johanna pointed down at the small Everdeen clan. "They are no one's family. Not - not by blood. They can't be eligible to volunteer." Her eyes met Katniss's, who immediately stared down at her shoes. Johanna narrowed her eyes. "You knew."
Thread rolled his eyes. "Miss Mason, I can assure you that President Snow himself made sure only family members were allowed to volunteer. As it turns out, the Everdeens and the Hawthones share a relation."
The cousins bit they had done. Johanna hadn't seen it but had been informed afterward. It made sense enough, what with them favoring each other in appearance. But there's no way it was true. "No," she protested, shaking her head. "No."
"Please continue, Ms. Trinket." Thread nodded toward Effie and took a step back from Johanna. All of the blood in Johanna's veins ran cold. She began shivering hard in spite of the suffocating heat that had descended on them in the midday sun.
"Johanna Mason," she called, a hitch in her voice. Without missing a beat, words arose from the small crowd beneath them.
"I volunteer as tribute," Katniss called out clearly. She ascended the few steps on the side of the stage, standing in front of the microphone, several feet in front of Johanna.
"You can't do this," Johanna yelled, moving a step toward Katniss. Thread came up behind her and grabbed both her arms. She jerked against his grip. "No, please, Katniss," she begged, hot tears stinging her cheeks. Katniss finally looked over her shoulder, gray eyes wet.
"You can't stop me."
Johanna didn't hear Effie call Gale's name because she was still reeling from Katniss's words. Johanna realized she must've been shouting because Thread pulled her inside the Justice Center, pushing her along into the hallway. The door burst open behind them and she could hear Katniss yelling behind her. Johanna turned around to run for her but Thread kept his tight, gloved grip on her biceps. Her forced her on to the train behind the center, standing outside the platform with his gun aimed at the stairs to keep Johanna on board.
Katniss and Gale filed on with no protestations, and with them, Haymitch and Effie. The moment they were all aboard the train screamed out of the station. Within a few minutes Twelve was swallowed by forests and they were submerged in darkness. Johanna shook off a nurse trying to inject her with morphling as she got into the dining car with the rest of them.
"How could you?" Johanna asked in a low rasp, staring at Katniss. Katniss shifted on the bench at the table, dropping her eyes down to the wood. "How could you do this to me?"
Katniss looked up, meeting Johanna's glossy brown eyes. "I didn't do it to you, I did it for you."
"Katniss wasn't trying to -" Gale began before Johanna waved her hands.
"You knew too?" Johanna asked, looking to him. "Oh I bet everyone had a big fucking laugh about that." Johanna placed her hands on either side of her head. "Are you fucking crazy? You were supposed to stay home and take care of everyone. What about Prim, Katniss? Who takes care of her when you're... when you're..."
"And who was going to take care of your family?" Katniss raised an eyebrow in challenge. "You made a great sacrifice for me and by pure luck and a little skill, you came out of it alive. You intended to die for me. The least I can do is-" Katniss abruptly stopped speaking. The imaginary debt.
The warmth and sadness from Johanna's eyes fled completely. Replacing it emerged a deadly coldness. "That's what this is. This is Katniss Everdeen Martyr bullshit."
Haymitch took a step toward Johanna. "Now, Jo, don't say -"
"You shut the fuck up," Johanna shot at Haymitch, voice laced with venom. "You love to just fuck around behind people's backs, don't you? You and Gale, best buddies, thinking up these genius fucking plans." Her cold gaze turned back to Katniss. A harsh, self-effacing laugh bubbled from her lips. "This whole time. This whole fucking time you've been... All because I volunteered for Prim. Everything you've done, everything you've said." Her voice broke on the last word and she cleared her throat. "You can't stand it, can you?"
Katniss wanted to be calm, wanted to explain to her the thought process, but her entire body shuddered with offense. Had she not told her just last night how much she loved her? Had they not shown each other? Katniss stood from the table, shaking her head. "How could you think so little of me?" Katniss stalked off into one of the bedrooms, slamming and locking the door behind her. After a few beats the door lock tumbled and the door opened. Katniss cast an embarrassed glance around the room. "I-I don't know where my room is. There was a lot of wigs in there."
Effie fluttered forward. "Oh dear, I believe that's my quarters. I'll show you to your room." She shot Johanna a glare and turned to smile at Katniss, ushering her down the small corridor toward the tribute's room.
Haymitch sauntered forward, shaking his head. "Stupid girl."
Johanna raised an eyebrow and stepped into Haymitch's way, crossing her arms over her chest. "Excuse me?"
"I said, you're a stupid girl," he repeated. "Are you deaf as well as stupid?" Johanna clenched her fists at her side and Haymitch eyed them, then looked up at her. "Go ahead and hit me. Seems to be the only thing you're good at."
"At least one of us is."
Haymitch was not impressed. "The day after the Quell was announced, your girl begged me and Gale to not tell you that she was volunteering. She begged us to make sure that she was able to be in that pen. And you wanna know why?" He stepped in closer, breathing wine on to her face. "Because she is as brainless as you say, and she loves you."
"No she doesn't, she just -"
Haymitch chuckled. "How you managed to survive the arena is a goddamn miracle, you know that? Was it really the boy all along?" Haymitch took a sip from his glass and swallowed, expelling an exaggerated sigh of approval at the taste. "When you were in her seat, you remember what you told me? That this is what you do for family. You fight. You sacrifice." Haymitch shrugged his shoulders. "You two are clearly much more than family." He patted her on the shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze of support in spite of how heatedly she was glaring at him. "I hope you have a really good apology planned, sweetheart."
Johanna stepped aside to let Haymitch go and he brushed past her without even a look into her eyes. She pressed her back against the wall and sighed. Her eyes fell on Gale's, familiarly looking for support. He drank down some amber liquid and shook his head. "Don't look at me. He's right."
"She doesn't love me," Johanna murmured, leaning her head against the wooden paneling. "She thinks she owes me for the reaping last year. You know how she is Gale, you know she -"
Gale stood up from his seat, using his forearm to press against Johanna's throat. "She chose you," he snarled into her face. "You chose her, she chose you, I chose this fucking rebellion. We all make our choices, Johanna. We live with our choices every day. It's what keeps us up at night. It screams in our dreams. It's in our heads." Johanna struggled against him but his grip was firm. "The promise you and I made to each other to get home to her was after she had made me promise to get you home. Remember? I'm just still keeping my word. To both of you."
Johanna cleared her throat, rubbing it where Gale had been pressing on her. "You sure know how to charm a girl." Gale glared at her and she lowered her gaze. "I didn't believe you when you told me she said that."
"I know. Haymitch is right, you really are the brainless one." Johanna puckered her lips. "Go apologize to her," Gale whispered, pointing in the direction Katniss had disappeared. "Go apologize to the girl that loves you before you stop deserving it."
In anticipation of Johanna barking out some response Gale stormed off into his room, slamming the door behind him. Johanna stood alone in the dining car, staring at the elaborate spread. The food that they used to plump up the pigs for slaughter. Johanna swiped her arms across the entire table, knocking all the glasses and bowls and utensils on the ground. The attending Avox rushed into the car, horror in his eyes before he straightened up, seeing Johanna panting and staring down at the food. Johanna gripped the table with her palms, squeezing her eyes shut. Tears leaked out on to the mahogany table top and Johanna rubbed them with her palm. When did she become someone who cried? When her father died, she cried. Only long enough until she had to be there for the others. When her mother died she shed no tears, none that anyone saw. Now it seemed she couldn't go a night without the useless moisture falling from her eyes.
The Avox bent down and began picking up the cups off the floor. Johanna peered at him out of the side of her eyes. "I'm sorry." The Avox shook his head and pointed down the hallway in the direction of Katniss. Johanna barked out a laugh and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "You too? God I really am a fucking idiot."
Steeling herself she walked down the hallway. She didn't bother to knock, Katniss wouldn't let her in if she did. Instead she opened the door slowly, inching herself into the room. Katniss didn't look up from her position on the bed. It was the same as the room she'd been in when she was reaped. Too plush, too rich, too much for their eyes that weren't used to such luxury. "They like to lull you into thinking maybe you can win. This can be your life. Posh trains, money, food." Johanna lifted a small glass carafe of some clear, fruit-smelling liquid. She took a whiff of it and set it down. "Look, Katniss, I'm shit at apologies and I -" Johanna turned around to continue but Katniss's head was buried in her hands, sobs shaking her body. "Katniss?"
"My sister," Katniss choked out, moving her hands from her face to her stomach, clutching herself. "My mother, my sister, everything." Her eyes dragged up from the carpet to Johanna who was approaching her cautiously. She bolted upward and grabbed Johanna by the lapels, slamming her against the wall. "I'm giving up all of that. For you. How dare you."
"Katniss, I'm sorry."
"No." Johanna's eyebrows rose and Katniss let her go, instead using her fingers to push her. "You think everything I feel comes out of some made up debt. I'm nothing inside but a list of checks and balances."
"How could I think anything else?" Katniss stepped backward, blinking on confusion. Johanna sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Before I left it was pretty obvious to me that I was not ...I'm not like the rest of you. We didn't spend much time together other than hunting. We were friends but not like you and Gale. I know we saw each other but, you know it wasn't the same."
"That's not fair you were -"
"In the home?" Johanna supplied. She balked but stood still with Katniss's fingers pressing into the flesh between her shoulder and sternum. "Yeah I was in the home. I wasn't dead. You never came to see me. Not once, to say hi. Not after my mother..." Johanna squared her jaw. "I was always finding you."
"I had a life too!" Katniss protested. "My mother was there, yeah, but she was," Katniss paused, "unable to help. I had to take care of Prim." Johanna's eyes met Katniss's meaningfully.
"And when the moment came to protect her from death, I stepped in your way. I took that choice from you," Johanna explained. "I come back, alive, and suddenly you're there. You're there every day. So excuse me for thinking this had something to do with Prim," she added sardonically. Her voice dropped an octave. "I didn't think you could love me."
Katniss trailed her fingers up to Johanna's neck, placing them just below her ear. Her thumb moved along her jaw. "You think that, after all we've said to each other? After what we've been to each other?" She dropped her hand and took a step back. "That's fine. But I'd have done what I did today whether or not you had volunteered for Prim." Katniss turned around and padded to the bed, raising her leg and sitting on the edge with her knee bent. "Believe whatever you want about me. Just get out."
Johanna's eyes widened in surprise. She bit her lip to prevent herself from saying what she was thinking: how will I sleep without you? She whirled on her foot and left Katniss alone in the room. After expelling a shaky breath outside the door she balled her fists and went into the next room. She tossed her clothing on the floor and settled into the bed and hoped sleep would claim her. It didn't. Instead she heard Katniss's sobbing through the wall next to her and she fought tears herself. She curled into a fetal position and wrapped her arms around her knees. The train rumbled beneath her bed and Johanna knew, as the foreboding crept along her chest, that the nightmares were coming. The train always brought the memories back, fresh as the day she was lifted from the arena.
Neither of them slept that night.
They arrived in the Capitol in the morning and Johanna and Gale were swarmed by their prep teams. They cried so much they went through four handkerchiefs before Johanna could stop them to explain she wasn't going back into the arena. "She is," Johanna said, stepping back to allow Katniss into their crying circle.
"Who is this?"
"She's beautiful!"
"Oh I remember her from the video! She's Gale's cousin!"
Katniss shook their hands politely, trying to hide the shock on her face at their garish appearance. Octavia turned to Johanna. "She volunteered for you," Octavia murmured to her and Johanna gave her a small nod. "We didn't watch the reapings this year, too emotional. Who is she?"
Johanna nodded and looked at Katniss over Octavia's shoulder being poked and prodded by the other two prep team members. "She's... everything." They began undressing Katniss and Johanna turned around to afford her some privacy. Octavia came around but before she could speak Johanna looked at her, pleading in her eyes. "Can I stay?"
The orange-haired woman sighed and looked back at the team who were busy prepping Katniss's skin for the waxing. "I suppose that's all right. Technically against the rules but, this year, I think there's a lot of things against the rules going on." She gave Johanna a conspiratorial nudge and went to Katniss, talking her through the process.
Johanna wanted to turn, wanted to gaze upon the beautiful body of the girl she loved, but she didn't. Katniss was laid out on the reclining chair as they prepared the strips to wax her. Johanna stood behind the head of the chair and reached backward, gliding her fingers down Katniss's arm to grab her fingers and lace them together. Katniss didn't respond to the touch until the first rip of the white strip against her skin, then she clenched her tightly. Johanna brushed her thumb against Katniss's knuckles in a soothing gesture as they worked on removing her body hair. The process dragged on for a while as they exfoliated her skin and gave her the eerie Capitol shine.
Cinna opened the door in front of Johanna and beckoned her forward silently. She squeezed Katniss's fingers then let them go, following him into the next room. It was a small dressing room with dozens of dresses and fabrics hanging from the rods across the walls. Everything glimmered and shone as they hung all around them, muffling the noise of Cinna's voice. "For the chariot rides, I'm figuring we dress Katniss and Gale in similar outfits to what you guys wore for yours. Not exactly the same, but similar. One small change."
He withdrew a long jumpsuit from the hanger and turned it to show Johanna the front. It didn't look particularly special; it was almost identical to the one she had worn. "If there's something I'm supposed to be seeing, I don't see it."
Cinna smirked. "And here I thought you were working on your dress-making skills to be like your fashion hero, Cinna." Johanna looked around the outfit at him and stuck out her tongue. He held up his free hand and pressed a small button on the middle of his palm. Slowly, the outline of a circle began illuminating in yellow on the chest and stomach of the front. Then an image of a bird in the center, clutching an arrow appeared in the center of the circle. Her mockingjay pin. Something she had learned from the newspapers Madge had brought was now a symbol of the rebellion. Her eyes widened. "I thought it would be a nice touch. To match your pin."
"'To match my pin' my ass. You know what this is now." Johanna almost took the jumpsuit and rolled it up to hide it from whatever prying eyes might see. Cinna pressed the button and the image disappeared into the fabric. "He's not going to like this."
Cinna shrugged. "It's merely a fashion statement. Mockingjays are all the rage now after your pin made such a splash at the last games. For our team it's just a connection between you and your pin, and your tributes. A 'birds of a feather flock together' sort of thing. Nothing more, nothing less." There was a glint in his gold-flecked eyes and Johanna understood. Though, it would only be obvious to President Snow that it was subversion. Surely the Capitol citizens had no idea it was a symbol of rebellion; they were wearing it in their hair and having it tattooed on them. "I watched your reaping."
Embarrassedly Johanna dropped her chin and gazed at the ground. She hadn't watched it on the train; she had been too busy making an idiot of herself and upsetting Katniss. "Ah."
Cinna placed his hand gently on Johanna's chin and lifted her head. "She's very important to you. And you, her." The soft, firm way he said it made a small lump form in Johanna's throat. "If this statement perhaps also sends a message, so be it."
"A message?" Johanna repeated, her voice small.
Cinna nodded sagely. "A message. That there are some things in life that nothing, not even the strong hand of the Capitol can touch. That's what the mockingjays symbolize, to me anyway." He smiled. "Freedom. Family." He locked eyes with her. "Love." Birds of a feather flock together.
Johanna let out a long breath. "Well, they can't be in any more danger than they're already in, right?" Cinna pursed his lips and blinked slowly. A grin spread on her features. "Let's go for it."
Katniss stood alone next to the chariot's horse, nervously stroking the large animal's neck. Gale had left to get some last minute instructions from Cinna, and Johanna and Haymitch were in some sort of mandatory mentor's meeting. Many of the tributes - none of whom Katniss recognized as former victors - were in small cliques around the room, waiting for the trumpets to blare and instruct them to get into the rides. She wondered for a moment how many of them were former victors, and how many were possibly just family. The ages ranged widely, she noted as she took them in, but that was no indication of their status. Many victors would be of advanced age; many would have let their bodies fall into disrepair.
She returned her attention to the onyx horse, delighting in the feel of the sinewy muscles beneath his fur. It wasn't until she spoke that Katniss noticed the girl in front of her. "Sugar cube?"
The dulcet voice made Katniss's head snap up and she met the dancing, sea foam green eyes of Finnick Odair, Capitol sweetheart from District 4. She had won her games ten years prior at the tender age of fourteen. With her athletic build and charming personality, she had been a heavy favorite from the beginning. But when they dropped a trident into the arena - the most expensive gift Katniss could remember anyone getting - it didn't take her long to remove the remaining tributes and win.
Since then she had made herself infamous for her string of Capitol lovers and the way all the Panem citizens seemed to fawn over her. Not for no reason, Katniss thought as she looked at the other girl. She was tremendously beautiful with short blonde hair that was shorn close on either side of her head, but longer in the middle, dangling over her forehead slightly. Her head was adorned with a tiara of what looked like rope and glittering seaweed, and her seawater eyes were shrouded in faint blue eyeshadow. She was remarkably fit and the outfit she was wearing - a fishnet get up that gathered at her groin and had two small shells covering her nipples - showed the taut muscles of her arms, thighs and abdomen. She flashed a set of perfectly pearly white teeth.
The only memory Katniss had of Finnick was Johanna being taken with her when they were young. That didn't settle well. "No, thank you."
Finnick shrugged her shoulders, popping one of the crunchy cubes into her mouth. "That's too bad, Twelve. They're for the horses," she began, stroking the mane of the horse next to her, "but they have their whole lives ahead of them. You and I aren't so lucky. If we see something sweet we have to grab it, quick." Her eyes move around Katniss, then settled on her as she inched closer. "Speaking of something sweet, where's your mentor, hm? The one you volunteered for, not the old one with the drinking problem."
Katniss's eyes narrowed. Finnick's mouth was just a few inches from her own, pink and wet from her licking it. She stupidly blushed at her closeness. "Johanna?" Finnick nodded, popping another sugar cube in her mouth. "She's at some meeting. Why? Gonna ask if she wants to borrow that outfit sometime?"
Finnick chuckled and shook her head. "Depends. If she wears it for me I might," she drawled. The smug grin on Katniss's face fell. "Shame about this whole Quell business. She would've made out like a bandit in the Capitol. Jewels, money, men, women, whatever she wanted." Katniss felt her blood rising. Finnick's eyes went from the horse to Katniss, pinning her with her stare. "Though I suppose she could still have all that, seeing as how you so gallantly volunteered for her."
Katniss grunted under her breath. "So she can pick up where you left off? Whoring around the Capitol?" Something very brief and very angry flashed in Finnick's eyes before the walls inside them flew right back up and the grin stayed on her face.
"You're feisty, Twelve. I like feisty. All you District Twelve natives are so fiery. I'm surprised you're not," she dragged her finger along Katniss's exposed clavicle, "burning to the touch." Katniss involuntarily shuddered and Finnick raised her blonde eyebrows. "But I'll let you in on a little something, seeing as how we'll probably be dead in a couple of days. I haven't dealt in something as common as money or jewels in years."
"Oh? How do people pay for the pleasure of your company then, Finnick?"
She leaned forward, brushing her lips against Katniss's ear as she spoke. "Secrets." Finnick pulled back and winked as she leaned against the horse. "What about you, Twelve? Got any secrets worth my time?" Katniss shook her head and Finnick scoffed. "Oh I'm sure you do. Perhaps your lovely mentor has many more she can share with me. Maybe I'll see if I can find her." Her head cocked to the side. "You don't mind, do you?" she asked with a faux innocence. As Katniss opened her mouth Finnick sauntered off with a spring in her step, exaggeratedly swinging her exposed hips.
Gale approached Katniss from the side, looking after the nearly nude former victor. "What did Finnick Odair want?"
Katniss looked up at Gale and rolled her eyes. "To know my secrets," Katniss mimicked in a low, sultry tone. Gale grimaced in disgust. "I know. When my skin stops crawling I'll tell you all about it."
Gale helped Katniss into the chariot as they awaited their cue. "Her win was impressive," Gale remarked. "She was just a tiny thing, fourteen and all." Katniss nodded in agreement but kept her jaw tight. Gale let out a short chuckle. "Johanna had such a crush on her, remember?" Katniss slowly turned her head and glared at her friend. "What?" Her gray eyes narrowed and Gale let out another short laugh. "You can't be jealous, that was ages ago. And besides, it's a little ludicrous considering the situation, Catnip."
Katniss continued to scowl and returned her attention ahead. Sure it was 'ludicrous' to be jealous since they'd all be dead soon, but it didn't make her feel better to know that Finnick was even more beautiful in person than she was on television. It also filled her brain with a thousand what-ifs. What if they both died in the arena? What if this rebellion died and Johanna did end up being the new Captiol darling? Would she have a string of lovers like Finnick? Maybe she would even sleep with the beautiful woman; Katniss was repulsed at the thought. Her eyes darted to the side as she heard some footsteps approaching them. Johanna jogged to the side of the chariot. "I thought you were in some important meeting."
Johanna shrugged. "I bailed. Anyway, I just wanted to remind you to -" Johanna's head whipped to the right as she saw someone climbing into a chariot. "Shit, was that Finnick Odair?" Katniss expelled a frustrated sigh and nodded her head. Johanna quickly returned her attention forward to Katniss. "Not that I - I don't care I just - that's not important. Anyway, Cinna wanted me to make sure you both knew to press the button just before you round the circle by Snow." Both of them shook their heads in understanding and Johanna smiled up at Katniss. "You look beautiful."
Katniss laughed. "I look frightening."
"That too, but you look gorgeous. They're gonna love you. Just keep your head up and don't smile. Act like they're all below you."
Katniss grinned. "At least that'll be something I'm good at."
"I'll meet you by the elevators when you're done." Johanna smirked and smacked the horse on the behind, triggering it to move forward. She watched after the chariot, smiling at the roar of the crowd as they were introduced. The second roar as the mockingjay symbols lit up nearly deafened her, even from inside the center. The chariots began coming back in, one by one, and Johanna waited patiently to the side for the last chariot to arrive back from the City Circle. Her back was pressed against the cool slate wall, hands fidgeting over her stomach.
"Well, well, well. It's my lucky day." Johanna's eyes dragged slowly up the green high heels, the uncovered legs, then widened as she got to the barely-there net outfit that covered the body of Finnick Odair. Her heart pounded in her chest in spite of herself. "Johanna Mason, victor from District Twelve. The girl who was on fire. How wonderful to finally meet you."
Johanna raised an eyebrow and smirked, hoping the heat she could feel in her body was not present on her face. She had been small when Finnick won her games, but every year she'd watch her on the television and when she became a teenager, she understood the small flip of her stomach as attraction. Gale and Katniss had teased her relentlessly over it. "Hello Finnick."
Finnick's eyebrows twitched as she reached up and circled her thumb over Johanna's mockingjay pin that was just above her breast, pinned to her dress. "I was afraid we wouldn't get a chance to meet. President Snow forbade us to attend your Victory Banquet, but fate seems to have other plans for us, doesn't it?" Johanna didn't trust her voice so she simply nodded, her eyes darting to the chariots to see if 12's had returned yet. "Oh don't worry about your cute little mockingjay. I spoke to her earlier."
Johanna's head tilted to the side. "You talked to Katniss? I bet she loved that."
Finnick hummed and nodded her head. Her bright eyes flew up to peer into Johanna's. "I watched your Games. How unfortunate that you and Mr. Twelve Victor couldn't make it work. I didn't understand why until I watched your reaping." Johanna's eyebrows furrowed and Finnick let out a light chuckle. "Then it all made sense." Finnick leaned forward, her lips just a few inches from Johanna's own. "It's okay, girl on fire. I'm very good at keeping secrets."
As Johanna's brown eyes gazed around Finnick she saw Katniss and Gale both walking toward her. Gale was walking, Katniss was more pounding in their direction. Finnick heard the noise and much like a victor, anticipated Katniss's movements and backed out of the way. Katniss shot the blonde victor a glare and took Johanna by the arm, practically dragging her into the elevator that had opened behind them. "See you around, Finnick," Katniss grumbled.
"See you around, Twelve."
The three District Twelve natives got into the elevator and turned around, waiting for it to close. "Do you want to ride up with us?" Gale offered, ignoring the burning glare from Katniss on his right.
Finnick's eyes moved from each person to the next with a bemused smirk on her lips. "Oh no. Four seems to be a crowd." She threw them a wink as the doors closed on her.
The ride up to their room was awkward and tense with Gale stood, his hands clasped in front of him, positioned in between Katniss and Johanna. Johanna cleared her throat and stared down at her shoes. "She seemed nice."
"You would think so," Katniss shot back.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Johanna stepped to the side and placed her hands on her hips.
"Nothing."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "Bullshit."
"You're bullshit!"
"What?"
"Guys, the elevator's open," Gale interjected weakly.
"Shut up Gale," Katniss hissed. "You were eye-fucking her too. Geez, you're both so alike. How fun."
Gale exited the elevator and scratched the top of his head. "Don't bring me into this."
Johanna and Katniss squeezed out of the closing doors, pushing each other as they burst back on to the twelfth floor. Johanna swiped at her dress. "You picked a great time to be jealous, Twelve," Johanna teased, mocking Finnick's seductive tone.
"Oh yeah, I'm real jealous of Finnick and how good she looks in a fish net." Effie and Haymitch looked up from the table, both with raised eyebrows, but Haymitch's expression was quite amused and Effie was typically offended by their behavior. Katniss stormed off into her bedroom and slammed the door so hard it even startled the Avox standing nearby.
Haymitch smirked and took a long sip from his goblet of wine. "I assume meeting the other victors didn't go so well?"
Gale sat down next to them, tucking in to his dinner. "Katniss isn't good at making friends." Haymitch snorted. "We met Finnick Odair." Both men looked back at the raven-haired girl.
Johanna held up her hands in surrender. "This time I didn't do anything. She's just pissed because Finnick was doing her 'sultry sea siren' routine."
Gale chuckled as he stabbed at the meat on his plate. "And because the year the other girl from Four won, Finnick was all over the television and Johanna's jaw barely left the floor."
Johanna blushed and punched Gale in the shoulder. "That was like five years ago!" She stole a slice of cantaloupe from his plate and put it in her mouth. "But I guess she and I need to talk."
"Finally, some sense out of the girl." Haymitch raised his glass to Johanna who rolled her eyes as she walked over to Katniss's bedroom.
She tapped on the door and opened it without asking. Katniss was pacing around the bedroom and pulling her hair free from the glowing headband Cinna had put in her hair. She tossed it on the ground at Johanna's feet and glared at the other girl. "Here to tell me more about your new best friend Finnick?"
"Lay off it, Katniss, for fuck's sake." Johanna picked up the headband and tossed it on the dresser. "You're being a child."
"I'm being a child?" Katniss asked, her voice climbing higher with each word. As if that was the most fantastical thing ever said. She stalked to Johanna and clenched her fists, using the heels of her boots and her natural height advantage to tower over her. "You were the one staring at her like she was the sun."
"Please," Johanna deflected, her eyes moving to the wall and the window above the bed. "I was having a conversation. Something that you need to learn to do if you are gonna get any allies."
Katniss puckered her lips sourly and shoved Johanna a step backward. "Give me a break. Like this is about allies. You give me this whole talk about how I 'don't love you' and magically you're an inch from Finnick's lips when I'm two steps away from you." Johanna ran her tongue along her teeth in an attempt to smother a smile. "Is this funny to you?" Johanna let out one quick chuckle. "Are you laughing?" she asked incredulously.
Johanna shook her head. "No..." Katniss shoved her backward again. "I'm not laughing!" Johanna began laughing in the middle of her sentence and Katniss's eyes burned bright with offense. Johanna caught Katniss's hands as they went to shove her once more and she wrenched them behind her back. Katniss couldn't help the spike of libido as Johanna pressed their bodies together and held her hostage, her fingers wrapped around her wrists. After Katniss creased struggling Johanna's face grew more serious. "I am really sorry about the train. It's hard for me to - to accept love. Anyone's, but especially yours."
Katniss licked her lips and let out a light sigh. "I meant what I said. This isn't about Primrose or your volunteering last year. I care about you too much to let you go back into that arena. It almost destroyed you the first time."
"Losing you will destroy me more than any Games ever could. More than my death." Johanna released her hold on Katniss's wrists and instead interlaced their fingers together gently, still keeping Katniss immobile. "But I can't lie and say I don't understand why you did it. At least, in theory."
Katniss raised an eyebrow as Johanna's lips pressed against her cheek, then her jaw, then the side of her neck. She began taking steps backward toward her bed as Johanna drew gasps from her lips as she sucked on her pulse point. "Because of my 'Katniss Everdeen Martyr Bullshit'?"
"Partly." Johanna chuckled against her skin as the back of Katniss's knees hit the bed. Johanna let go of her hands to lean down and scoop beneath Katniss's knees, pushing her back farther on to the mattress. Johanna crawled over her and met her for a deep kiss as she gently laid Katniss's back against the blanket. Johanna slipped her hand beneath Katniss's back and began unzipping the jumpsuit, then bent her fingers beneath the fabric on Katniss's collarbone and began working it down her torso and arms. Katniss pulled her arms out as Johanna slowly exposed her breasts and her stomach. Johanna's dress was already bunched around her waist and Katniss took no time in lifting it over her head and tossing it on the floor. Her hands slid down Johanna's bare breasts, trickling down her sides and resting on the top of her thighs. Her thumb traced the scar on Johanna's thigh as the other girl smirked down at her, then captured her lips again in a kiss. She pulled back, gazing into Katniss's dilated gray eyes. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
Katniss smiled, draping her arms around Johanna's neck. "Maybe."
Johanna ran her thumb over Katniss's lips. "You will."
Author's Note: FINNICK IS A GIRL. That's basically all you need to know. Thank you all for the reviews and follows and favorites!
Big thanks to Johannas-Motivational-Insults for the beta read and the constant constructive feedback. :) If y'all aren't reading her "Lifeblood" then y'all are missing out.