Katniss fidgeted in the elevator as it descended to the gym floor of the Training Center. She picked at the skintight flexible fabric that made up their uniforms with distaste. Her eyes moved to Gale, who looked natural in his, and she scowled to herself. The uniform showed off his muscular form and the manly physique he earned mining in the caves and probably from training for the Games. Katniss felt far too skinny and out of place in hers. The two Twelve natives entered the gym and even though they were late - detangling herself from a naked and sleepy Johanna had taken some doing - there weren't many people present. Brutus and Enobaria, the tributes from District 2, were busy chatting with Chaff from District 11. A few other people were scattered around the large, slate-floored gymnasium but nowhere near another twenty-two.
"Nobody's here," Gale whispered to Katniss as they ventured toward Atala, the woman who headed the tribute training. "I wonder why."
Katniss shrugged. "They're probably not happy about this. Haymitch said many of the former victors were really angry." Haymitch explained over a brief breakfast that the victors - roughly two-thirds of the tributes this year - were all in varying stages of anger toward the Capitol for having to re-enter the arena. Katniss hadn't found that information terribly interesting but she figured Gale would. Unrest for the victors meant another step closer to the rebellion he wanted. All Katniss knew was that there were 23 people between herself and ever seeing Johanna again, including her best friend, and if less people were in training then they'd be easier to kill.
By around ten o'clock Atala began her spiel to about fourteen people, almost all of them the former victors. Katniss didn't listen to her instructions, instead she tried to figure out who everyone was. Cashmere and Gloss, the brother and sister back-to-back victors from District 1 were instantly recognizable, towering over everyone. Both of them were classically beautiful with their strong jaws, symmetrical features, incredible bodies and silken blonde hair. Enobaria and Brutus of District 2, Finnick and some older man who looked around sixty, were crowded around as well. A bespectacled dark-skinned, middle-aged man and a wiry woman around the same age were both off to the side, whispering to each other. District 3, Katniss ventured to guess.
In a silent agreement Gale and Katniss took off in separate directions once the instructions were finished. Gale went over to Brutus and Chaff to throw spears, while Katniss meandered to the knot-tying station. She had experience with snares because of Gale but the instructor's snares were far more advanced than anything Gale had taught her to rig. After about an hour Katniss was able to complete a snare that lifted an enemy off the ground by his foot and left him dangling from a tree. Her fingers uselessly attempted to manipulate a complicated knot until she felt the press of someone's breasts against her back and hands slide down her arms. Nimble fingers easily completed the knot and Katniss knew, without turning around, who it was. Plenty of people have and would have paid good money to feel the District 4 victor's body against theirs but it only made Katniss feel revolted. Finnick flashed her pearly whites as she came around Katniss's side, tipping her head in acknowledgement of a compliment Katniss never gave. The bronze-haired beauty took a length of rope and tied it around her neck and pretended to hang herself for what Katniss presumed was her own amusement.
She then tightened it around her neck and handed Katniss the other end of the rope. "Wanna take me for a walk, Twelve?" Even that simple sentence dripped in sensuality.
Katniss rolled her eyes and wordlessly stalked to the vacant fire-starting station. An hour crawled by until she finally got a fire working and by then, the tributes from District 3 had joined her. Katniss looked up with a smile and leaned over to help them start their fire, working the twig in an up-and-down fashion. "Katniss Everdeen," she introduced as she let the older man take over spinning the stick.
"Beetee Latier, and this is Wiress." He smiled politely. "We know who you are."
Wiress giggled and nodded her head enthusiastically, shaking her unruly mop of brown-black hair. "We both found your district very..."
"Very interesting," Beetee completed. He gave Katniss a look under his glasses and she understood what he meant. The bombing of the Hob. Gale and Johanna's defiance. Their romance, too, Katniss thought glumly. She wondered if anyone knew she was part of the reason they stopped performing for the Capitol. Finnick seemed to know. It wasn't important, of course. In the other districts there were larger scale uprisings and Katniss was certain they were wondering why 12 wasn't rebelling as well, considering the trouble Gale and Johanna caused. The rebellion seemed to live and die with Johanna and after her sisters were murdered, it was far down on a list of things Johanna appeared to desire. The other districts would have to understand that, Katniss thought, but they probably didn't know about Johanna's sisters. They probably thought Gale and Johanna were merely loudmouth cowards.
"Oh look!" Wiress piped up suddenly and pointed toward the area that housed the Gamemakers. Plutarch Heavensbee, the man who took over for Seneca Crane as Head Gamemaker, watched interestedly down at the tributes, tearing at a turkey leg. Katniss looked perplexed from Plutarch to Wiress, and Beetee caught her confusion.
"Just under the table. Look. Concentrate and you can just make it out." Katniss followed his instructions and narrowed her eyes. Then she saw it. A glimmer of waves in a small patch of the air. "A force field," Beetee said with a hint of humorous interest. "Between the Gamemakers and us. I wonder what brought that on."
Katniss smirked. "Johanna, probably," she confessed, looking back to them. They both gave her queer looks. "She told me last year she shot an arrow at them during her presentation time." Both sets of eyes widened and Katniss looked down at their fire. "She was provoked. I think." Katniss allowed silence to swell between them before speaking up again. "Do all force fields have a weakness like that?"
"Chink," Wiress replied vaguely, her disjointed stare elsewhere.
"In the armor, so to speak." Beetee fiddled with his glasses. "Ideally it'd be invisible, wouldn't it?"
"So what does that mean?" Katniss asked, looking over at the glimmering patch of 'weakness.' "Can it be brought down?"
Beetee smiled. "Theoretically. Not by traditional means." Katniss turned back to him as he focused on the fire. "What I mean to say is, if you hit the weakness with a bare weapon, the forcefield will still work. But if you were to say, fight fire with fire?" A small spark lit beneath his twigs and the leaves and kindling began to smoke. He looked up at Katniss. "If you can overpower it, it could come down."
Katniss opened her mouth to inquire further as lunch was announced. She wiped off her pants, said her goodbyes to District 3, and quickly found Gale as they queued in the lunch line. Gale had been busy with all the other tributes and Katniss only sidled up to him once the others had thinned out. People liked him, as much as he tried to deny it. Whether it was because of the rebellion he engendered, his looks or perhaps his personality - though Katniss doubted it - Gale was never wanting for friends, especially female ones.
There was a ring of food carts around the room and as Katniss took a tray she watched the victors move all the tables together to force everyone to eat next to one another. Katniss grimaced. She only ate with Madge because neither Gale nor Johanna had her lunch period, otherwise she would've preferred to eat alone. Knowing she'd have to kill these people in the arena made sitting with them seem even more unpleasant.
"How's it going?" Gale asked, interrupting Katniss's train of thought. She ladled stew into the bowl on her tray and shrugged. "Saw you making friends with Finnick at the snare station." Gale smirked.
Katniss flicked her eyes up to Gale to see the humor in them and glowered. "Hardly. She likes to butt into my business." Katniss sighed and eyed Gale warily. "I like District Three. Wiress and Beetee."
"Really?" Gale asked, taking a piece of bread from an overflowing basket. "They're something of a joke to the others." There was no judgement in his tone but she glared in his direction anyway as they started toward the tables.
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Katniss asked with a roll of her eyes. She settled into a seat at the far end of the table across from Seeder, who flashed her a smile which Katniss promptly returned. Gale sat next to Katniss and dug into his food. The victors and even the volunteers that showed up began laughing and chatting amongst themselves. Chaff led them with dirty jokes and one of the tributes from 7 joined in with some funny anecdotes from back in their district. Katniss watched them closely. They all seemed so pleasant, so warm, especially the tribute family members that had volunteered. These people who were putting their lives down for their families, Katniss wanted to reach out to them, to protect them. But any connection would have to be severed eventually, so she stayed quiet.
The Districts 1-4 were all former victors, including the old man from 4. Les, Katniss overheard Finnick call him. He was genial but his voice was soft and when he spoke, it sounded like the jangling of coins in a pocket, nearly unintelligible. Finnick was the only one blessed with the ability to understand him. District Five's tributes were both volunteers, District 6 were former victors, but wasted away morphling addicts. District 7 were volunteers as well but they looked more well-fed than the others. District 8 were former victors, two older people named Cecilia and Woof. Districts 9 and 10 were volunteers, District 11 were Haymitch's old friends Chaff and Seeder, and then Gale and herself rounding them out.
It would be simpler, Katniss thought, if these people were easier to hate.
Speaking of people easy to hate, Finnick got up from her seat and squeezed in between Seeder and a tribute from 5, leaned her elbows on the table and tore open one of the pieces of bread. Her striking green eyes peered over her hands at Gale and Katniss. "So we all wanna know about this one," Finnick said, pointing the piece of bread at Katniss.
Katniss raised her eyebrow. "Not much to know."
Finnick chuckled. "Now that I don't believe," she drawled, moving her twinkling eyes to Gale. "Tell me handsome, what's the secret talent we all have to watch out for?" Finnick's cheek dimpled in a grin as Katniss continued to glare at her. Gale remained stoic. "Well out with it. Otherwise we're all gonna be allies without you and you're gonna be first to go." It would've seemed like a threat except Finnick wore an insufferable smirk on her lips.
Katniss felt her blood boiling inside her veins. Who the hell did this girl think she was, waltzing in here like she owned the place? Flaunting her ridiculous good looks and knot-tying skills? She was about to tell her off but Gale spoke up first. "Now why would we give away our advantage?" he asked, dipping his spoon into his stew and giving Finnick a tight-lipped smile.
The blonde-haired girl gave him a nod and looked over to Katniss. "So there is an advantage to give away, huh?" Finnick looked over the table and pretended to check Katniss out. She scrunched her nose. "Kinda skinny. Can't imagine she's got the strength for spears or swords. And where would you have learned that anyway?" Katniss bit back her impulsive sarcastic remark. It was true, District 12 tributes were notoriously underfed and couldn't use weapons to literally save their lives. Now Katniss knew why, having met Haymitch, as he was fairly useless as a mentor. But she had her archery and she was killer with it. Finnick was gunning to find out firsthand just how killer.
Katniss knew that anger was curling off of her like smoke. "Who says we'd want you as an ally?" Katniss shot at her scathingly. She could feel Gale tensing beside her but she ignored him. Haymitch and Johanna said to make friends but Katniss couldn't even stand this girl's presence for a lunch period. It had nothing to do with Johanna's lingering crush on her and everything to do with how pompous she was. "Because you flipped your hair or batted your lashes and got everything handed to you in the arena? Congratulations on that great feat. Maybe if the arena has a beauty pageant segment, you'll win."
Her voice bounced off the walls of the cafeteria and Katniss realized all the other tributes had stopped talking and their attention turned to them. Finnick sat firmly in her seat, unmoved. There was a coy smile on her lips which further enraged Katniss. "Depends on who's judging, I suppose." She craned her neck toward the other end of the table. "Cash, if there's a beauty pageant of all the tributes here, will I win?"
The tall blonde at the end of the table gave a laugh. "You wish, Odair," she called in a sing-songy tone that made the entire table erupt in laughter, including Gale. Finnick smirked up at Katniss who stood from the table, taking her tray with her.
"I would win," Chaff interjected in his deep, booming voice, which elicited another round of laughter from the tributes. He proceeded to pose in effeminate ways and Katniss used that distraction to toss her tray on the clean-up cart and stomp back into the training area. She didn't know why Finnick was so easily able to crawl underneath her skin. Well, that was a lie, she thought to herself as she went to the archery station.
Finnick got under her skin because she was beautiful, because Johanna obviously still held a childish torch for her, and because she was disturbingly intuitive of Katniss's feelings. All of these things made her rage with embarrassment and jealousy - two emotions she loathed to feel. Katniss boredly pushed through the lame, unmoving targets so the instructor at the archery range began upping the ante. Targets shaped as animals, people, and other attacking predators came rushing at her and she took them out with ease. It was so relaxing to do something she was good at, to finally be who she was. She longed for the forest and the sweet breeze off the meadow. Jo and Haymitch said not to show off any of their real skills but Katniss ached for the release archery brought. Sweat was pouring off her face and dampening her arms when she heard clapping and stopped.
From outside the glass doors Wiress was clapping for her, and she saw the mixed expressions on the faces of the other tributes. Pride in Gale's eyes, a smirk on Finnick's features, and loathing from the District 2 crowd. Let them hate me, Katniss mused silently, it'll be less difficult to sink an arrow into them.
Haymitch swaggered into the living room where Gale and Katniss sat together, now dressed in their regular clothes for dinner. Effie had set up some tapes of the former victors' Games and they were about two days into Enobaria's gruesome win. "What did you do that even Brutus from Two has requested you as an ally?" Katniss stared down at the couch until Gale nudged her and she realized Haymitch was speaking to her. She looked up at him innocently as Johanna entered from the other side and Katniss couldn't help the reflexive smile on her lips and the distraction of her attention as she saw her. She was wearing a gray sweater that hugged her slim physique and a pair of leather pants that drew Katniss's attention immediately. She unconsciously licked her lips. "More than half the tributes have requested you as an ally."
Johanna grinned and sat next to Katniss, who promptly put her arm around her and pulled her in. "They saw you shoot, didn't they?" Johanna prodded, poking Katniss in the stomach teasingly. Johanna looked to Gale around the back of Katniss's neck and he gave her one nod and a small smile.
"You're that good, huh?" Haymitch asked, rubbing his hands together. "Career pack good?"
Katniss shrugged. "I don't care. I want District Three, Beetee and Wiress."
"Nuts and Volts?" Johanna asked, pulling her head back from where she had rested it on Katniss's shoulder to look her in the eyes. The brunette nodded and Johanna rolled her eyes. "Of course you do. Any invalids you want? Children, perhaps?"
"Says the girl who made a pact with Rue," Gale reminded softly, not looking at either girl. Katniss felt Johanna go rigid beneath her touch and she began soothingly rubbing her arm. Comforting Johanna was as second nature as firing a bow. "If Katniss wants District Three, we'll get them. They're smart, even if they can't fight."
Johanna chuckled. "That's fine, Hawthorne, but tell Katniss what you want in return."
Katniss turned her head to stare at her friend. Gale's face took on a sheepish look but he tried to firm it up. He cleared his throat. "I want District Four. Both of them. Finnick and Les."
"Absolutely not. I'm not joining any alliance with her. I'd rather it be just us, if that's my choice." Katniss's tone turned cold and even Johanna was surprised by its iciness. She knew Katniss held a grudge against Finnick but she didn't think it was more than petty jealousy. "Or just me, if you can't possibly get away from Finnick's lovely green eyes," Katniss added without a trace of humor in her tone.
Haymitch rolled his eyes. "I'll tell everyone you're still making up your mind." He aimed his annoyed blue eyes at Johanna. "You straighten this out." There seemed to be more to his tone because Johanna nodded solemnly instead of her normal, sassy remark. Katniss's eyebrows furrowed but she said nothing. Effie interrupted them to announce dinner was ready and as everyone filed out, Katniss held Johanna's hand and pulled her back.
"What was that about?" Katniss asked, holding Johanna tightly by the wrist. "What did Haymitch mean?"
Johanna took a look around and, upon seeing the Avoxes, heaved a sigh. She ran both her hands through Katniss's hair and leaned close to her ear. Katniss shuddered. "The roof. Tonight." She placed a small kiss on Katniss's earlobe and took her by the hand, entwining their fingers. Haymitch told her to not reveal anything to Katniss, but Johanna couldn't keep it in any longer.
Hope is as irrepressible as sunrise.
The breeze was warm as it hit Johanna's face on the rooftop of the Training Center. Her hands gripped the marble barrier of the edge and she scratched her nails against the stone. Brown eyes peered over the edge to the city below, wincing at the lights and noise that floated up from the streets.
"Gale called this place atrocious," Johanna spoke into the wind, feeling the presence of someone approaching behind her. Figuring it was Katniss, she continued. "He's definitely not wrong. This is more celebration than last year. There's even fireworks." Johanna shook her head and clenched her fists. "Fuck, I hope this place burns to the ground."
"Me too." Johanna whirled around and pressed her back against the stone at the unfamiliar voice. It wasn't Katniss. It was Finnick. The blonde victor stood wrapped in a deep sapphire robe that shimmered in the lights and came to just above her knees. She wiggled her fingers in her hair and tossed the short locks as she went toward Johanna and leaned on the stone next to her. "I came up here after I won. I threw up right over the side and I watched the forcefield bounce it back at me." Johanna chuckled and Finnick moved her eyes up. "Luckily I got out of the way."
Johanna felt nervousness tickle each one of her senses. If Katniss were to come up here and see them, she'd have another jealous tantrum on her hands. Finnick was part of this rebellion and it was essential to Katniss's survival that she at least attempt an alliance. "What are you doing up here?"
"Don't get your panties in a twist, girl on fire. If your girlfriend comes up here, I'll just tell her I was keeping you warm for her." Finnick snickered again and leaned against the cool marble, crossing her arms over her chest. The breeze ruffled her robe quite a bit and Johanna was treated to several unbidden looks at Finnick's breasts and legs. Heat rushed from the pit of her stomach outward to her fingertips. "Same reason you are. The view." Finnick leered at her and Johanna blushed deeply and looked behind her at the Capitol. "Can't sleep," the older girl admitted quietly.
Her eyes returned to the blonde. "Still?" Johanna inquired, flattening her palms against the marble and hoisting herself up on to the edge. She kicked the stone with the back of her heels. Johanna really hoped the insomnia and nightmares would fade with time. If Finnick was any indication, it wouldn't.
Finnick eyed her carefully. "Always. It's been what, nine years since I won? Fuck," she whistled, "where has the time gone? I haven't had a good night's sleep since the day I was reaped."
"Ten years," Johanna corrected. Finnick's quirked eyebrow and grin made her blush which she hoped was hidden by the darkness of the rooftop. "I watched." Johanna didn't want to reveal the extent of her former obsession but Finnick appeared to understand anyway.
Finnick hummed and mirrored Johanna's sitting position on the marble, crossing her legs. "I'm sure that's why your girlfriend despises me so much." Johanna rolled her eyes and Finnick smiled at her. "It's all right. She can hate me all she wants. I'm her ally whether she likes it or not."
"She won't like it," Johanna said with a shrug. "But I asked her to meet me up here so I can explain it to her."
"Explain to her your big time crush on me?" Finnick teased, nudging Johanna's shoulder with her own. The blonde pursed her lips and her face became more solemn. "Do you think that's wise? Everything we spoke about, that was supposed to stay with the victors."
"I don't really care if it's wise. I don't want to lie to her and at this rate, she's about to launch an arrow at you the second she gets her hand on a bow." Finnick let out a loud laugh and tossed her head back. Johanna remembered Finnick having long, wavy blonde hair when she won her games. For the last few years she kept it in a feminine mohawk that made her look quite striking and handsome. Maybe that was some small rebellion of her own.
"I have a reputation, girl on fire," Finnick explained, reaching her hand over to press it over Johanna's. "However this Quell shakes out, I can't have anyone thinking I'm anything but the Capitol's darling." She curled her fingers around Johanna's. "We all do whatever we can to protect those we love."
Johanna's eyes tore away from Finnick's to stare down at the ground. Guilt made her voice thick. "Sometimes it's still not enough." Her sisters. The Hob. Her eyes squeezed shut as the smell of sulfur and burning hair and flesh filled her nostrils and gave her an immediate, pounding headache.
"We're only human, Mason," Finnick chided. "From sea to salt. Though if you're alive, that means you can do something. You, above almost anyone else, have the power to make some real changes and I hope you do. I'm not taking your girlfriend's arrow to the chest for nothing, you know."
Johanna let out a short laugh and shook her head. "I know, I know. For the rebellion," she enthused sarcastically.
Finnick rolled her eyes. "Yeah, duh, but not just that. You think we don't know that if something happens to Katniss, you're all but done?" Johanna's eyes narrowed at the victor in massive confusion. "I'm not an idiot, and you-know-who isn't an idiot either. If Katniss dies in the arena, you die along with her. And if you die, the rebellion dies." She slapped Johanna's thigh a few times in a fraternizing gesture. "If it were me I wouldn't tell her. She needs to survive and there's no better motivation to survive than love. I mean, your motivation was to get home to her, yeah?" Johanna nodded. "Hers is the same. She'll fight tooth and nail to get home to you. She really loves you. Any idiot can see that." She hooked her arm over Johanna's shoulder and pulled her close, kissing her temple. "I don't envy you, kid." She slid off the edge of the seat to her slippered feet. "Sleep tight, girl on fire."
Johanna watched Finnick saunter away and then moved her eyes upward toward the sky. She missed the deep dark sky of home, the blanket of black with the twinkling white stars shining down through the trees. She even missed the smell of the mines. Somewhere deep inside, she had a nugget of hope that they would return. It was foolish but Johanna clung to it desperately.
Resignedly she hopped off the edge and padded back downstairs to the elevators. Most of the lights inside the center were dimmed now except the ones for each floor. It was oddly peaceful. Johanna stepped off on the twelfth floor and stopped in front of Katniss's room. She swiftly unlocked it and let herself in, to find Katniss pacing to and fro across the carpet.
"I'm sorry," Katniss blurted out, abruptly stopping in her tracks and looking toward the other girl. "They locked me in my room. Is that procedure? I kept yelling but eventually I felt bad for the Avoxes and stopped."
Johanna snickered and shrugged. "Not sure, but it's okay. I was going to try and explain to you that Odair's not such a bad person but I think it would've fallen on deaf ears anyway." Katniss visibly tensed at the mention of the blonde victor and Johanna smiled. "Relax. Haven't I told you before, brainless? The only person I want in the world is right here." She took both of Katniss's hands in hers and brushed her lips over her knuckles. "Don't make me keep saying that. Not everyone needs to know how soft you've made me," she complained with a coy smile on her lips.
Katniss hummed and released Johanna's fingers so she could thread her own through the other girl's hair. "I love how soft you are, JoJo," Katniss murmured against her skin plaintively. Her lips traced gentle kisses along Johanna's jaw, down the side of her neck where she could feel Johanna's rapidly beating pulse beneath her lips. Her hands skimmed down Johanna's shoulders to her chest, and she circled her breasts with firm movements. "I just don't like how she walks around like she owns everything." She leveled her gaze at Johanna. "And everyone."
"I don't think she thinks she owns everyone," Johanna ventured cautiously. Johanna tilted her head upward to give Katniss better access to her neck. "I was just talking to her on the roof and she -"
Katniss cut her off with a look. "You were what?"
Johanna's eyes widened. "She came up while I was waiting for you." Katniss's gaze hardened and Johanna's shoulders sagged. "She's not a bad person, Katniss, really."
Katniss walked both of them backward to the plush bed, then unceremoniously shoved Johanna on the mattress. Johanna instinctively scooted backward but Katniss grabbed the back of her knees and pulled her to the edge. She leaned on Johanna's thighs and hovered her face just above Johanna's lips. "Take off your clothes," Katniss demanded. She went to the door and turned down the lights, leaving only the yellow lamp next to the bed on. Johanna followed her instructions and removed her clothing, tossing the sweater and leather pants as well as her undergarments to the end of the bed and on the floor in a heap. Katniss undid the belt of her robe and let it fall to the ground, reveling in the look of pure adoration and bare desire at her nakedness in Johanna's dilated brown eyes. Moisture pooled between her own legs as she took in Johanna's figure. The gauntness was gone because of her mother's strict diet and instead her body was full and muscular. Her skin was paler than Katniss's by far, but she loved how her darker tone contrasted Johanna's when they touched. She also loved the pink flush that would crawl across Johanna's skin when they kissed. Katniss dropped slowly to her knees in front of Johanna's shins. "Spread your legs," she commanded in a low, sultry tone.
Johanna looked down into Katniss's eyes and temporarily lost control of her breathing. She did as Katniss bid and opened her legs. Katniss placed a hand on either of Johanna's knees and spread them wider, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses on the insides of her knees then up her inner thighs. Her legs quivered beneath Katniss's lips and she gasped as Katniss's teeth took the sensitive flesh and sucked on it, a little round bruise purpling on her pale skin. "Fuck."
Katniss grinned slyly as she got closer to Johanna's sex. She poised her mouth above Johanna's center and looked up at her. Johanna was leaning back on her palms, her chest heaving in anticipation. She dug her fingers underneath Johanna's butt and used her thumbs to open Johanna's lower lips and ran her tongue along inside her. Johanna let out a string of expletives and her hand clenched Katniss's hair tightly. Katniss enjoyed this relinquishment of control and she knew the sight of herself at Johanna's mercy would make the older girl go nuts. Johanna's hand massaged her scalp as she pushed Katniss harder into her center. Katniss rolled her tongue around Johanna's clit and sucked hard each time Johanna thrust her head closer.
"Oh, Katniss," Johanna breathed out, the hand she had weaved through Katniss's locks trembling. Katniss smiled at the high, breathless, sweet sound of Johanna's voice as she got close to orgasm. Johanna's voice was always high and feminine but it had a sweeter quality to it when they were making love. Katniss adored it. Just as Johanna's words starting coming faster and even more high-pitched, Katniss stopped and stood up, pushing Johanna backward. Johanna's back hit the bed and her eyes were an unfocused haze of confusion and arousal.
Katniss placed her fingers just outside Johanna's entrance and crawled over her, pinning Johanna's shoulder to the bed. She briefly used her hand to push her hair to one side, then again pushed her palm against Johanna's collarbone to keep her still. Katniss leaned down next to Johanna's ear. "What do you want, Johanna?"
Johanna wheezed out a few labored breaths. There was only one clear thought in her brain. "I want - I want to come."
Katniss kissed below Johanna's ear and gripped her earlobe with her teeth. Her mouth moved down a few inches until she found Johanna's pulse and she bit down hard. Johanna squealed with pleasure and pain as Katniss sucked hard on the skin. "Oh? That's all? Well you can do that yourself, or you can get Finnick to do it for you, I'm sure." She slowly removed her fingers from Johanna and the other girl gripped her hand and held her tightly.
"Don't you dare stop," Johanna threatened, but even as she forced Katniss's hand to her sex the girl didn't enter her. "Please," she whined.
Katniss's breath was hot and directly in her ear. Johanna's entire body was taut with denied pleasure; she realized somewhat humorously that she was almost like one of Katniss's bows pulled all the way back, quaking for release. "Then what do you want?" she hissed. She traveled further down with her lips and bit hard on Johanna's shoulder, leaving another bruise on her skin.
Johanna whimpered and tried to regain her focus. "I want you to make me come," she finally managed to blurt out, her hips jerking upward to try and force Katniss to touch her.
Katniss used her two fingers to plunge inside her girlfriend and Johanna let out a cry of pleasure and both her hands grabbed Katniss's flanks and dug hard into her skin. Katniss repositioned herself so she was above Johanna, dipping down to kiss her fiercely. "You want me to make you come?" she asked, tugging on Johanna's bottom lip with her teeth.
"Yes," Johanna rasped, clawing at Katniss's back.
"Because you want me?"
Johanna's nails dug in deeper and left hot red trails down Katniss's arms. "Yes."
"Because you love me?" Katniss asked, her tone just a bit softer but still equally as commanding. "Only me?"
Johanna nodded as the slow swell of orgasm began tingling in her stomach and loins. "Yes."
She was on the precipice of release as Katniss leaned back down to her ear. "And you're mine?"
"Oh fuck, Katniss," she cried out as her climax hit her full force, causing her hips to stutter and jerk and her walls to spasm around Katniss's fingers. Katniss rocked her hips in rhythm with her hand as Johanna slowly came down from the peak of her pleasure. She rested her damp forehead on Johanna's sweat-slicked shoulder and gave her a small kiss, just above a nasty looking hickey. Johanna's fingernails unclenched from her skin and tangled in her hair. "Yes, darling," Johanna said breathlessly. "Only yours."
Katniss sat up and pulled Johanna toward her, settling them on the pillow. Johanna nuzzled into her clavicle and wrapped her arms around Katniss tightly. "I love you," Katniss whispered, scratching her nails against Johanna's scalp.
"I love you too." Johanna rested quietly against Katniss's skin, inhaling her sweet and salty scent. Once a few minutes passed she looked up. "Will you at least try to like her? A little?" Johanna sighed exasperatedly. "I'm only thinking about your best shot. You're not going to survive with just Gale and Nuts and Volts, you know. And at least if you have to kill her you won't have to flip Gale for it."
Katniss rolled her eyes and made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. Johanna's hand began lazily stroking her hip and Katniss became acutely aware of her own nagging desire. "Maybe."
Johanna let her fingers dip between Katniss's legs, just barely grazing the tip of her clit. Katniss gasped and her head fell back onto the pillow. "I'll make it worth your while," Johanna goaded, lacing kisses down Katniss's collarbone to her breasts, hovering her mouth over her nipple. She made no contact, only blew her breath on the taut nub.
Katniss growled. "Fine," she assented through gritted teeth. Johanna sucked on her nipple hard, releasing it with a loud pop and shuffling upward to kiss Katniss sweetly on the lips. As she did so, she slowly submerged one finger inside Katniss and gleefully watched her reaction as Katniss tugged on her own bottom lip in pleasure. "Under one condition."
"Name it."
Katniss's lips spread out into a grin. "You let me skip training tomorrow and we stay here. All day."
Johanna pondered that for a moment. There were only two more full days of training but it didn't seem too crazy to have Katniss miss a day. As far as Johanna could tell many of the volunteers weren't even going to the training. Katniss was certainly more advanced than any of them and just behind the Careers in terms of skill. And a full day of Katniss, when their days together were numbered, sounded like a dream. "Deal."
True to her word, Johanna didn't even leave the room to eat. They spent the day in bed, making love until they were too sore to continue. They ate together on the bedspread, gorging on food from all corners of Panem. Things they could have never dreamed of in Twelve. Once the blanket of night had fallen, they passed out in each other's arms, nightmares far, far away. It was something akin to vacation - an alien concept to both women - but the reality of their situation was never far from grasp.
Katniss held up her end of the bargain. During the third day of training she took to the fishing section and both Finnick and Les taught her different fishing hooks and techniques. Without Finnick's antagonizing sexual advances she was much more palatable to the Twelve native. She and the old man had an easy banter that seemed familial, but it was doubtful they were related. He had probably been her mentor. Only once did Finnick look at Katniss's arms, which had several red scratches where Johanna had dragged her short nails and broken skin, and smirked at her knowingly. At one point Katniss caught Gale's eye as he showed a crossbow to Gloss and he gave her a thumbs up which she rolled her eyes at, but her smile was genuine. She decided she could put aside her pettiness for the sake of survival, especially considering Johanna was sporting several highly visible bruises of Katniss's own doing. Mine, it spoke for her.
The next and final day of training went by slowly. Most of the victors used it as time to talk to one another, and nearly all of the training stations went unused. After lunch they convened in the waiting room sorted by District. Katniss and Gale sat quietly as one by one, each of the victors and volunteers filed out as their names were called. When they were left alone, Katniss looked over at her friend.
"Gale, how are we going to kill these people?" she asked quietly, shaking her head. She left the other words left unsaid. What about you and me? How am I going to kill you if it's just us?
"Finally softened up to Finnick, huh?" Gale inquired with a smirk. Katniss's glare made his smile drop. "I don't know, Catnip. This isn't going to be easy. But if we can survive as long as possible, maybe the arena will sort everything out. The volunteers will probably die quickly. But the rest of them..." He paused. "I never thought I'd say it, but these are good people."
"Your people," Katniss clarified with a knowing look. "You're one of them. A victor." Gale's name was called over the loudspeaker and he took Katniss's hand and squeezed it. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Katniss called to him. He grinned at her and turned away, disappearing into the presentation room. Katniss sat alone in the waiting room for a while before being called in herself.
She had half a mind to shoot an arrow at the Gamemakers in a show of solidarity with Johanna but she thought better of it. She didn't care what they thought of her skills. The score meant nothing. None of this truly meant anything. No one in the Capitol would want to sponsor them anyway. They were from District 12. They were trouble. She volunteered to save the life of the girl who had begun this rebellion and she was certain President Snow had probably instructed the others to kill her and Gale first.
Katniss stood in the center of the room. It smelled faintly like spent firewood and cleaning solution. She glanced around at all the dummies, the weapons, the paints. Her eyes narrowed as she looked up at the room full of disinterested Gamemakers. She grabbed the paint and the largest brush they offered and began to scrawl on the floor. When she was finished she looked up at the Gamemakers whose faces revealed masks of horror and interest. "Thanks." Katniss tossed the paintbrush on the floor and left the room without another word.
That night at dinner the prep team joined the mentors and the tributes as well as Effie, and watched the presentation of the scores. The Careers did well, as usual, but the volunteers and the middling districts were medium to poor. Gale and Katniss both scored perfect twelves. A Hunger Games first, but no one was celebrating.
The entire table looked to them. "What did you do?" Haymitch asked tiredly, leaning back in his chair. His voice was stern and authoritative, like the fathers all three of them lost.
Gale shrugged his shoulders as he cut one of the large breasts of chicken on his plate. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Haymitch slammed his palm down on the table, startling nearly everyone seated around it. "What did you do? These are my friends you're going in the arena to kill and now you've painted giant damn targets on your backs."
"I carved the symbol of the mockingjay into one of the mats and lit it on fire," Gale admitted in a flourish as he stuffed another piece of chicken into his mouth. The prep team gasped in unison and Effie pressed her fingers over her eyes.
"That's why it smelled funny," Katniss interjected, looking over the table at Gale. She smirked. "They cleaned all that up before I got in there. But I could smell the burning."
"Great. And you?" Haymitch said, turning to Katniss.
She firmed up her resolve. "I painted the names of everyone they killed on the floor." Johanna looked at her quizzically. "Rue. Your sisters. Our parents. Anyone from the Hob I could remember." Haymitch was glaring at her but Johanna couldn't help the small quirk of the corner of her mouth. "I wanted them to be held accountable, at least for a second, for the deaths of these girls. All the innocent people."
Haymitch tossed his napkin on the table and took the bottle of wine in his hand. "Tomorrow is supposed be your day with Effie and I to prepare you for the interviews but you know what? It doesn't even matter. If they don't blast you to bits the second you get into that arena you'll be dead by sundown. Congratulations." He stormed off toward his room, slamming his bedroom door behind him.
"You can't... you can't do these things," Effie cried from the other side of the table. She placed her napkin by her mouth. "It smacks of... it smacks of..."
"Rebellion," Cinna offered quietly with his shimmering brown eyes trained on the three Twelve residents. His face revealed no emotion one way or the other but Johanna knew he must be pleased. He had to be. Even though he was Capitol, Johanna trusted him as one of them.
"Good," Gale announced, dropping his napkin on the table as well. "Let them fear us then. We've spent enough time fearing them."
"They'll kill you!" Effie exclaimed, standing up from the table.
"They're killing us anyway!" Gale barked back at her, his gray eyes aflame with anger. He briefly composed himself as Effie skittered out of the room in tears. "They're killing us anyway," he repeated much more softly. "Excuse me." He left the table as well, leaving Johanna and Katniss and the prep team alone.
Cinna stood up. "We should all get some rest. Tomorrow's the last day before the preparations and Portia and I are still working on your outfits for the interviews." He smiled and nodded his head as he and the rest of the team left the dining room. The Avoxes began clearing the vacated plates and Johanna looked over at Katniss.
"It's like you planned it," she said with a smile.
Katniss smiled back. "We didn't." She hefted a sigh and fidgeted with the napkin in her hand. "I'm not..." she trailed off, searching for the right words. "Like you and Gale," she offered. "About, you know, everything." Johanna nodded in understanding. Katniss was not a rebel, she had too much to lose. "But I won't be a piece in their games. And I won't go down without a fight. I'll take all of them with me."
Johanna took Katniss's hand and kissed the top of it affectionately. "That's my girl."
Katniss brought her free hand up to Johanna's cheek and cupped it softly. "Always."
The following morning, with Johanna at a mentor's meeting with Haymitch, Gale and Katniss were allowed to do as they wished with their day. They took a basket of food and some blankets to the roof and set out a picnic. Without the smell of the trees and the sound of birdsong it was disquietingly noiseless at the top of the Center. Far in the distance the mountains that separated District 2 from the Capitol stood tall, capped in snow and touching the bright blue sky.
Katniss dipped a small chunk of bread into the honey. "I can't believe how quickly things've changed," she said, stretching her legs out and crossing her ankles over one another. She leaned back on one of her palms and sighed. "Can you?"
Gale shrugged his shoulders but the contemplation was etched well across his face. "They say the Games make you grow up fast, if you win. But I think we already grew up too fast. Maybe that's why I'm not nervous."
"You're not?" Katniss asked, running her fingers through her hair and narrowing her gray eyes at her friend.
He shook his head. "No. I've never been afraid of the Capitol. I've always been so angry at them. For the way we were forced to live, for our dads." The boy she had known had truly grown into a man before her eyes. When they met in the woods he already looked like a man but he still had that teenaged oafishness about him. She knew him from before that day, of course, from the mine explosion, living in the Seam and from school, but it wasn't until they agreed to meet in the woods that she truly got to know the man behind the effective snares. He had always been a rebel. It was a cause as close to his heart as his skin. "Here, I feel like I have a purpose. I have clarity. When I die in that arena, I will die on my own terms. Not in some mine explosion, a cave-in, or from lung disease like everyone else. I won't die some poor nothing in the districts. I'll die for you. For Johanna. For the rebellion. Things worth dying for."
"Is it worth dying for?" Katniss immediately questioned, her voice soft. He was so sold on this but she was less certain. It was imprinted in their brains that war meant destruction for everyone. The power of the Capitol could not be questioned. But Gale and Johanna, on the strength of their conviction, had uprooted this firmly held belief. But for how long? And, Katniss wondered, without Gale would it survive? Could Johanna, or she and Johanna, do this on their own? The rebellion needed Gale.
"What am I living for?" There was no trace of self-pity in his voice. Gale wouldn't allow himself that emotion anyway. Katniss looked to the ground guiltily. "Not just because of you and Jo, though that's certainly part of it." He smiled softly. "I never thought I'd lose you both to each other. I figured someone would choose me," he added with a dramatic roll of his eyes.
In spite of his humor, Katniss felt weighed down by guilt. "Gale, it's not -"
"No, no, don't," he stopped her, putting his hand in the air. "I don't want your sympathy. I'm happy for you both. I didn't think I could be, but I am. It's not like my feelings for either of you have gone anywhere, but I can sleep at night if I know that at least you're both happy. And alive. And that maybe we have a shot at freedom."
Katniss shifted over so they were side by side and she rested her head on his shoulder. Back during the times when Johanna wasn't allowed out of the home it would be just the two of them hunting, setting snares and taking down meat to sell to Greasy Sae or bring to their families. A way to keep both Katniss and Gale's mothers out of bed with a Peacekeeper. To keep everyone alive. Now here they were, only days away from death for one or both of them.
"I hate it here." Katniss looked over at Gale as she spoke. "I'm almost looking forward to the arena. I hate this place. I just keep going to sleep hoping I'm going to wake up and I'll be back home. And there will be no Games. You'll be there, and Johanna and our families. Happy, for once."
"That's what I hope for, too," Gale confessed. He rolled on to his back and Katniss moved so her head rested on the side of his stomach. They laid together for hours, staring up at the starless sky as day began fading into night. Katniss missed Johanna, of course, but there was a security and comfort with Gale that she could never deny. Gale was home, he was District Twelve.
Katniss didn't have to wonder why Johanna liked Cinna so much. The man worked magic with his hands, able to perfectly form Katniss's features and the dress she was wearing. Not to mention his straightforward attitude and his lack of Capitol pomp and ridiculousness. The dress was a midnight blue evening gown with a triangle pattern that looked like the down of a bird on her stomach. Katniss was relieved it wasn't too revealing; she wanted to be as much herself on that stage as possible. Johanna was sitting in a chair near the door, clad in a black evening gown that when light caught it just right, a mockingjay was revealed in the shimmer. Her pin was affixed to one of the straps, glaring proudly anytime a light shone in its direction.
"I don't know what to expect," Katniss admitted to Cinna as he circled her, poring over the dress for any imperfections.
Cinna sighed. "Caesar Flickerman is an interesting man, but hard to peg he is not." Cinna adjusted the shoulder straps of her dress. "He'll ask you why you've volunteered for Johanna, certainly." Katniss's eyes met Johanna's over Cinna's shoulder and he smiled. "You haven't discussed what you're going to say."
Katniss shrugged. "I'll just be honest."
"Because you love her," Cinna offered evenly, tucking a stray stand of Katniss's hair back into the headpiece she was wearing. Katniss blushed and Cinna gave her a light kiss on the cheek. "You'll do fine, I promise." He patted her on her bare arms and exited the room quietly. Johanna stood up from her chair and held out her hand for Katniss.
"Let's go, Kitty Kat." Katniss took Johanna's hand and grasped it tightly, white-knuckling the other girl's fingers in both trepidation and possession. The other tributes were convened already, talking quietly amongst themselves in the backstage area. Gale looked handsome in a crisp suit that matched the hue of her dress. "Don't be nervous," Johanna leaned in toward Katniss, whispering into her ear. "None of what you say is going to make a difference."
Katniss nodded numbly as Finnick Odair came sauntering over to them. Her dress was bodice-hugging and fell to her feet, a pure white color tapering into light blue near the bottom. The flicks of blue looked like waves at her feet. A small necklace with a conch shell on the end - one Katniss recognized from the chariot ride and Finnick's reaping - hung around her neck in between her breasts.
"My my, the ladies of Twelve sure do clean up nice." Finnick gave them each approving nods and Katniss stepped just an inch closer to Johanna. Finnick noticed the movement and her lips spread into a smirk. "No need for that, Katniss. I assure you I harbor no desire for your beloved. Nor she for me. And we're all friends now, yeah?" She raised her hand and curled her fingers beneath the strap of Johanna's dress, her thumb grazing over the bruise Katniss left with her teeth. "Young love." She moved the strap so it hid the bruise. "See you on stage."
Katniss stepped around and in front of Johanna as Finnick walked away, and faced her. "I'm not good at talking."
Johanna laughed. "And I am? Look, you'll barely have to say anything. Flickerman tries to make everyone look good. And since you're new, he'll try to make you feel comfortable, okay?" She kissed Katniss on the forehead, reaching up on her toes to do so, and smiled. "You are beautiful."
Katniss blushed and looked away from Johanna's starkly penetrating gaze. Before she could respond Gale appeared behind her and took her by the arm. "Let's go, Catnip."
"I'll be watching!" Johanna called to their turned backs. Katniss looked over her shoulder and smiled weakly, then walked up the steps toward the stage. Johanna weaved through the audience to find her seat next to Haymitch. He pointedly ignored her presence so she turned all her attention to the stage.
There was the usual pomp and circumstance of Caesar's introduction, getting the audience riled up and interested. Glamour shots of all the tributes appeared on the large screens as he introduced the tributes one by one. Cashmere from District 1 was called up first and she stood next to Caesar, smiling at him with her two perfect rows of white teeth.
After some banter, Caesar inquired as to whether or not Cashmere had a strategy. Cashmere cleared her throat and spoke into the microphone, her green eyes looking directly into the camera. "You know, I planned on talking about how nice the people of the Capitol have been to my brother and me. How deep our bond is, between the Capitol and District One. How unfortunate it is that it be severed by these tragic circumstances."
"Truly tragic," Caesar agreed.
Cashmere nodded. "But do you want to know how I really feel?" The audience cheered in response. "All I can think about is what President Snow said. That this Quell is to show the districts that the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol. The strongest among them." The audience murmured in confusion but Caesar didn't intervene. "And that strength, they think, comes from our ability to kill. Sure, that helped."
"Certainly didn't hurt," Caesar cut in.
Cashmere smiled politely. "No, certainly didn't. But I don't get strength from killing the Capitol's slaves." A gasp rippled through the audience as Cashmere stood proudly, stoically, staring out at them. "I'm one of their slaves, too. And I killed almost a dozen of their slaves in order to stand here today. But I will not kill the Capitol's slaves for them. Not again." She looked at Caesar. "Thank you."
Katniss felt the tensity of the other victors in the air around her. Her eyes went out to the audience to find Johanna but the lights on the stage made the audience too dark to see clearly. She looked to her right at Gale, who was smirking to himself. "I can't believe she said that."
Gale raised his eyebrow, unimpressed. "I can."
One by one, most of the tributes announced the same intent. Finnick, after her poem to some unidentified lover, pledged the same. Even the volunteers, small and meek, made the same statement as Cashmere at the end of Caesar's questioning when he asked for their strategy. I will not kill the Capitol's slaves for them. "What do I say?" Katniss whispered to Gale as Chaff was finishing his interview.
Gale shook his head. "You can say whatever you want. None of this was planned. And who knows how long they'll stick to that? You think Brutus is going to take pity on anyone? Please. He doesn't care what happens to any of us." Katniss wasn't sure Brutus made the statement everyone else had, but it was a good point. They might say these things now, but the arena was different. "Everything changes in there," Gale added, as if he could read her mind. "Everything."
Katniss heard her name announced and she walked down the steps toward Caesar. The lights were hot and bright and the audience was simmering after all the rebellious talk on stage. She felt like she had been lobbed into a furnace. "Katniss Everdeen, you're one of the new ones with us tonight. How are you feeling?"
"Nervous," Katniss replied candidly, clasping her hands in front of her dress timidly.
Caesar gave her a good-natured half-hug around her shoulders. "Don't be. Let's have a seat, shall we?" Katniss nodded and they sat in the plush chairs across from one another. Katniss's dress shimmered at her feet as she adjusted the material, not wanting to ruin the integrity of Cinna's creation. "Now Katniss, you are an interesting person. You know why?" She shook her head. "I'll tell you why. You are the only volunteer here who didn't use their volunteering ability for their own family."
The audience oohed and aahed and Katniss furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, no."
"No, no, see you're last year's victor Gale Hawthorne's cousin, yet you volunteered for our other victor, your mentor, Johanna Mason."
Katniss smiled. "I couldn't volunteer for Gale."
Caesar laughed and swatted her with the cards. "Of course you couldn't. We all know that Miss Mason volunteered last year for your little sister. What's her name?"
Katniss felt a pang of longing in her stomach. "Primrose."
"Beautiful. Are you here to return the favor?"
Katniss looked out into the audience. Finally her eyes met the deep brown ones she adored and a small smile lifted the corner of her mouth. "No."
"Oh?" Caesar's lavender eyebrows raised in surprise. "Then why put yourself at risk?"
Katniss slowly turned to Caesar and ducked her head. "Because I love her." The audience began making squeals and aw's and the camera found Johanna, who waved it back toward Katniss. "I love her. And I-I won't let anything happen to her again."
Caesar placed his hand on Katniss's knee and looked, at least to Katniss, genuinely touched. "That's a beautiful sentiment. Does she share your feelings?"
Katniss smiled and blushed. Her voice could not have been more resolute. "Yes."
A buzzer sounded above their heads and Caesar grimaced. "I'm so sorry Katniss but we are out of time. I do wish you the best of luck. Katniss Everdeen, District Twelve!" Katniss found her seat and for the life of her, she didn't hear a word of Gale's interview. She continued to stare at Johanna from the stage, adrenaline and fear in her veins, her heartbeat pumping in her ears. She didn't make the same pledge as the others. There was no time. She didn't know what that meant for her going forward. If it alienated the others, so be it. She had one desire: to get home to Johanna.
Gale returned to his seat and as Caesar turned to announce the tributes, they all grasped hands and thrust them in the air. Down the line each tribute held on to the other in another show of solidarity. Caesar looked temporarily horrified until the lights cut off on the stage, submerging the tributes in darkness. After some brief confusion Gale and Katniss found Johanna and Haymitch by the elevators. Before Finnick could join them the doors closed. Katniss breathed a sigh of relief.
Johanna placed her hands on either side of Katniss's face, grinning. "You were wonderful."
Haymitch chuckled. "You were the least stupid of everyone," he conceded, jerking his thumb at Gale. "Especially this one."
Gale shrugged. "They can't do anything to me. Why not be honest? Cashmere did us all a favor, saying all of that."
"That was unexpected," Katniss agreed as the doors opened to their floor. The foursome walked into the room and stood in a half-circle. "I didn't think the Careers gave a shit."
Haymitch sighed. "They have as much reason, probably more, to be angry at the Capitol. But I'm surprised too." He rubbed his forehead. "Why don't we all get some sleep?" He turned to Katniss. "I won't see you in the morning. They'll prep you here and then put you on the hovercraft to the arena with just Cinna. So, good luck." He gave her a quick hug. "Stay alive."
Gale gave Haymitch a nod and Haymitch turned and went to his bedroom. Gale looked to Johanna. "This is it."
Unexpectedly Johanna felt her eyes well with tears. She hated crying. Katniss tiptoed away to give them some privacy. She'd see Gale tomorrow, and Johanna she assumed would spend the night. Johanna watched her leave then turned her glossy eyes to Gale. "What would I do without you? This ...this rebellion, I can't do this alone."
"You won't," he said, pulling her into a hug. "You'll have Katniss. You'll have all of Panem."
Johanna burrowed into his neck and inhaled the strong scent of his cologne. Beneath it, she smelled the comforting, familiar smell of his musk. "I don't want all of Panem. I know that I have Katniss but I need you, too."
Gale pulled away from her and braced his hands on her shoulders. "You are the strongest person I know, Jo. I know the past year has been hard. Your sisters, the Hob. But you can't let that stop you. You know why we have to fight. You saw it here tonight. People want this. They need you to lead them. You are the Mockingjay." He smoothed her pin with his fingers and dropped his hands from her shoulders.
"You should be the stupid Mockingjay," Johanna replied, wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist.
Gale smirked. "I wouldn't look nearly as good in the dress." He gave her one last tight hug before wordlessly going to his bedroom. With a shuddering sigh she went to Katniss's room and closed the door behind her. Katniss was already in the shower, no doubt eager to remove the makeup the prep team had slathered her in. Johanna quickly disrobed and padded into the bathroom, sliding in behind Katniss and wrapping her arms around her midsection.
Katniss relaxed into her touch as they stood beneath the relentless pour of the water from the shower head. They stood together for long minutes, holding each other tightly, Johanna's lips pressed to the juncture of Katniss's shoulder and neck. Slowly they soaped their bodies and hair, washing the day from their skin. Katniss turned to Johanna and leaned down, giving her a deep kiss. Though their bare bodies touched as close as possible, there was no urgent desire to take their kissing further. They let the water drop on them and just kissed. Sometimes there are moments in life that words are too small for.
They crawled beneath the blankets in tandem, and Johanna wrapped Katniss in her arms, pressing each inch of their naked skin against one another. Katniss's head was against her chest and she felt moisture trickle down her breasts as Katniss began weeping silently against her. Johanna began to rock slowly, running her fingers through Katniss's hair.
"When I was little my dad used to sing me a song when I was sad," Johanna began. "He said all the guys in the mine would sing it. His voice was terrible." She smiled fondly at the memory of her father's offkey singing. Johanna cleared her throat. "Are you, are you, coming to the tree? Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free? Strange things have happened here, no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight in the hanging tree."
Katniss waited a long while before speaking. Johanna had never sang before, not like that. Her voice was soft and crooning and perfectly sweet. If it were possible, she loved her a little more. "My dad sang it too. My mother didn't want to hear it, she forbade him to sing it in the house."
"It's sort of morbid," Johanna agreed.
Katniss nodded. "Why didn't you ever sing that to the mockingjays? You always let me sing."
Johanna warmed at the thought of Katniss singing in the meadow, hearing the call of the mockingjays after her. Falling in love with Katniss and not even realizing it. How simple life seemed then. "I like to hear you sing," she said in a whisper. Katniss didn't know how long Johanna had loved her. Maybe she never would. But now was not the time to reveal that information. The night was already passing by too quickly and the moment of their parting was just a few short hours away.
"Can you sing it again?" Katniss asked, imploring Johanna with her wide gray eyes. Johanna could never have denied her.
And so she did. She sang every stanza of 'The Hanging Tree' she could remember, over and over again until Katniss fell asleep in her arms. Johanna wished to every star in the sky that the moment could've been frozen and she could be allowed to live in it forever. She lost count of how many times she'd wished for it before sleep took her as well.
Morning dawned and both girls arose before the prep team arrived. They dressed without word and took a small breakfast up to the roof to watch the sun rise over the Capitol. No one below would be awake for hours and all the streets were eerily silent. They dined together in complete silence and awaited the arrival of Cinna.
"I'm not supposed to be up here," Johanna said quietly as they stood near the edge of the roof, each of them with one arm around the other's back.
Katniss looked at her. "Don't leave."
Johanna nodded. "I won't. Not until the hovercraft comes." Cinna emerged from the door behind them and smiled at the girls. After a few minutes of conversation between them the hovercraft appeared and lowered the ladder. Johanna turned to Katniss and held her face between her hands. She pressed their foreheads together. "Get your bow. Find Gale. Find water."
"I know, I know," Katniss replied in a sad attempt at annoyance. Her smile never reached her eyes. "I love you."
Johanna captured her lips in a kiss. "I love you too," she whispered as she broke away. She pulled her in for a hug and leaned into her ear. "You are mine, and I am yours."
Katniss nodded, stroking Johanna's short mane of black hair. This couldn't possibly be the last time she'd be saying those words to her. Katniss refused to believe that. She would get out of that arena alive to say it to her a million more times. "You are mine, and I am yours." Anything else is unthinkable.
Cinna held out his hand for Katniss, and they stepped on the ladder, frozen in place. Johanna watched helplessly as the ladder sucked the light of her life inside its belly and flew off into the distance, disappearing into the clouds. A cold breeze hit her back as she stood on the roof, holding her arms and shivering. They were all wrong. She wasn't the girl on fire. She never could be, not without the light that gave her warmth.
Author's Note: Thank you all again for the support. This took a while to write but hopefully the rest of the story will come more naturally. To the reviewer who wanted to know who I pictured as Finnick? Evan Rachel Wood with short hair. Google it. You're welcome.
As always, my gratitude to johannas-motivational-insults for her incredible insight, as well as her beta-reading abilities. :)