Hey everyone thank you all so much for the reviews I'm glad you want me to post my story! )

OH MY GOD BRILLOPADS NEWS!! ... next saturday I am heading down to cambridge to stay avec my sis at uni.. and guess who is there then? THE GODDESS HERSELF... LOUISE RENNISON!!

I promise i will not be leaving until i meet her!! (i shall be tracking her down yupps) Anyone have any specific questions/things you want me to say to her if i am lucky enough to find her?! I will deffo be telling her to check out this website!! )

Anyway here is the first chapterrrrrr )

"He can go swing his handbag elsewhere"

Saturday October 1ST

9.00pm

On the rack of love

Yes that's right. Once again I am on the rack of love. Boyless and cakeless alike.

Masimo officially had an f.t. tonight and ended it with me. I feel miz.

He didn't even bother to take me to some posh Pizza-a-gogo land restaurant.

He just turned up at my door and said "Georgia let us walk." No 'Cara', no 'Bellissima', just plain jane 'Georgia'.

I had got all nice and dressed up as well. Well before I changed into the tellytubbie pjs that I'm in now.

We walked down the road and round the corner then he stopped me. He put one hand under my chin and bent down to give me a kiss on the lips. Fair beans, I thought. Bit of warmsy upsies before the proper snog.

Only that was it. Just a measly number three.

Then he leant back and sighed heavily. Quit sighing more snogging!

"Georgia I am troubled," he said and touched my cheek with his finger. "You and Dave. You are, how you say, just good friends?"

I nodded like a nodding dog. "Just friends. Amigos. Amies. Bessio buds." Great, I was talking like a parrot.

Masimo shook his head, "Sorry Georgia. I don't think this will work. You and Dave being... 'friends', it's not good for me no."

I looked at him agog as an agog thing. "But Dave is my friend." I said. Wow, that was like a proper sentence.

Masimo nodded, "Si Cara, and that is why I can no longer be your boyfriend."

Then he gave me another number three before walking around me and down the road.

9.05pm

I can't believe I have been dumped by a Lurrrve God. We have only been going out for like a month. Double poo with knobs on. It wasn't like in the movies. You know, when the really hot guy breaks up with his beloved and it is tearing his heart out. And they kiss passionately all night (deffo number six) and start blubbing when they have to leave.

There was none of that for moi. No blubbing. And defiantly no number six.

10 minutes later

Have tiptoed downstairs as quiet as a mouse to phone Jazzy Spazzy.

"Hello?" Thankgod Jas answered.

"Jazzy tis moi."

"Georgia? Why are you whispering?"

"Because Libby is asleep and I'd quite like to have my bed of pain to myself tonight for my singular self."

"What are you talking about Gee?" God she is so slow.

"Masimo dumped me." I said.

"Non!"

"Oui."

"I'm so sorry Gee. Though I suppose with the size of your red bottom it was only a matter of time before he caught you snogging Dave."

"WHAT?" I shouted, then remembered Libs so whispered, "No Mrs Vole I wasn't snogging Dave I never snog Dave" well not since the camping fandango anyway... "it was because Masimo says he doesn't like that I am friends with Dave when I am going out with him. At least I think that's what he meant. He's foreign you know."

Snuffle snuffle.

"Yes Georgia I have noticed Masimo is foreign." She huffed. What's with the visit to Strop Central? I'm the one that's been dumped by an Italian Stallion.

Pause.

5 seconds later
"So are you going to tell him then?" Jas asked.

"Tell who? What? Why?"

She sighed like I was a tres tiny idiot girl. That mistakenly she is.

"Tell Dave!" She shouted down my ear. Ouchy.

"Why do I need to tell him?" What's Dave got to do with anything?

"Georgia we all know you love him."

Huh?

"Wrong Jazzy Spazzy. One, I do not love him and never have. And two, he is in love with his girlfriend Emma." I think.

She sighed again. She really is tipping the scale for being an annoying fringy friend.

"Whatever you say Georgia. I have to go now, Tom is ringing me at 9.30 and I have to be ready."

"What do you need to be ready for if he's ringing you on the phone?"

"I have to do my hair and put on some lipgloss," she said and then hung up! Charming. It's nice having a bestest pally who prefers to phone snog than comfort her chum in a dire time of need.

11.00pm
Tucked up in bed

Should I ring Dave and tell him me and Masimo are over?

No. I am eschewing him with a firm hand.

But why when I am no longer betrothed to my ex-beloved?

Although he is still betrothed to Emma.

But maybe he wouldn't be if he knew I was free, he did say he loves me after all.

But he also called me an honorary bloke, that can't be good in anyone's book. Correction, in any girl's book.

And we haven't officially snogged since the camping fiasco which was like zonks ago.

Maybe he is having second thoughts due to my "generous" nose and fears if he snogs me again he won't return to earth.

5 minutes later

What am I worrying about Dave the Laugh for anyway? I should be blubbing in my bed of pain over my lost Italian Stallion.

Well he can go swing his handbag elsewhere. Probably at Wet Lindsey, she'd take him in a second. She has no prideosity.

Erlack! What if he goes out with Wet Lindsey? That would be triple merde.

2 minutes later

Maybe if I tell Dave my situation type thing, he will offer to give Masimo a good duffing up like he did Mark the Big Gob?

Great now MBG is in my head.

Donner und Blitzen.

Sunday October 2nd

Sitting on a swing in the park

And freezing my butt off. Rosie is nice and warm next to me. But then again she is wearing a big fur (fake) coat and bushy beard and her Viking horns. Yes she is sensationally mad.

"So have you told the Laughy Man mon ami?" Rosie said after I'd told her the Masimo situation.

Why does everyone keep referring to Dave? What is it about him? Oo-er!

"No RoRo I have not and I'm not going to."

Rosie got her pipe out (!!) and pointed it at me, "Ahh but you should-eth."

I frowned, "Why should I? It's not his business."

Ha! That got her.

Maybe not.

She shook her head, "Mais oui, of course it-"

She stopped talking as Sven had suddenly appeared out of a bush and was started yoddling towards us. Saved by the Sven. There's something I never thought I'd say.

2 minutes later

Eww I feel like a spare whatsit. Rosie and Sven are snogging for England on the swing next to me. Sven is sat on Rosie's lap. I'm surprised the swing hasn't broke. He is not the lightest lad and that is le fact.

And now I feel miz again. People really shouldn't snog in front on new dumpees. It's not nice.

3 minutes later

Oh Gott in Himmel! Dave the Laugh and the lads have just appeared! They all have huge ski jackets on. In fact, they look like blown up marshmellows. What larks. Dave is in a white one. He looks like a snow man that's about to pop.

Ahh they are making their way over singing Christmas carols. Yes, Christmas carols. God knows why.

"Yo ho git off your woman Mr!" Dave yelled at Sven. He didn't really do anything but Rosie pushed him away and jumped off the swing so she could give the lads the Klingon salut.

"Howdy lads!" She said, then jumped back on Sven to snog him some more. Right, because they don't do that often.

I said, "Dave, why in our Lord Sandra's name are you singing Christmas carols it's October!"

He grinned and said, "Maybe but it's cold enough for December, so we are just sprucing up the mood."

What is he on about? As usual I will be the last to know.

5 minutes later

All of us (me Rosie Sven Dave Rollo Dec Ed and Tom) are squished onto the swing area. You know the springy-type flooring underneath the swings in case someone falls off. You laugh but it happens. To me quite regularly actually. And to Rosie when she is snogging Sven.

Anyway we are all sat in a mini-circle trying to "conserve body heat" as Mr Vole man (i.e. Hunky) pointed out. I made sure I didn't sit next to Dave to avoid any eye brow rising from Rosie. Unfortunately though I am now sat opposite him and I can't help staring at him. He is quite fit looking in a fit looking kind of way. And his greeny-brown eyes are really noticeable against that white puffy thing he's wearing.

Merde, I think Rosie caught me because she said, "Lads, Dave," and she looked at him meaningfully and wiggled her eyebrows, "Georgia has some news."

They all looked agog as agog things can be and stared at me.

I frowned at Rosie and shook my head, "Actually I don't."

"Mais oui you do!" She argued.

Rollo cut in, "What is it?"

"Just tell us!" Ed chimed in.

"Jaaaa groovster let rip!" Yes that was Sven.

I carried on shaking my head but then Rosie opened her overly large mouth and said, "Gee and the Italian man are no more."

There were a few gasps around the circle. I kept my head down looking at the ground in a digniosity kind of way.

8 minutes later

Thankfully everyone grew bored of questioning me when I pulled my hood up and pretended to fall asleep. Unfortunately though I now have a bad case of neck ache and am finding it tres hard to breathe.

The lads have started to play rugby (without taking the coats off) and it is vair vair funny watching them roll over and tackle each other.

Dave is refusing to play because he will "get his white-tastic coat dirty". How girlish of him.

I said to him, "Dave how girlish of you."

He just shrugged. What's with the shrugging? Has he got the cold-shoulder with me? Whyyyyy?!

30 seconds later

I am frozen in frozen land (or the park) and must retire to my bed of pain.

I said to everyone, "I'm going home to the Swiss Family Mad now before my phalanges drop off."

Rosie said, "Toodles mon ami!" and carried on snogging her Sven. Quel surprise!

I then scampered off quick as a quick thing before the lads decided to rugby tackle me as a "friendly goodbye send off".

2 minutes later

Walking through the park

Blimey O'riley it's cold! My toesies have gone all numb and I'm shivering like a shivering thing on shivering tablets; i.e. a lot.

I wish I had worn a coat now.

"Kittykat!" Someone shouted. Well duh, obviously it's Dave. Who else calls me Kittykat you fules?!

I stopped and turned around. There he was panting up to me.

"Yes...Dave?" I stuttered. Shattering teeth is not attractive that is le fact.

"Is it true?" He asked. Wait, something was wrong. He was being Dave the Unlaugh!! Go away get your camel back!!

I nodded glumly. I tried to avoid his eyes but its tres hard. It's like he's doing sticky eyes with me. Or maybe the cold has just frozen them there.

"Why?" He asked in a serious (uh-oh) voice.

I gulped, "Because I wouldn't stop seeing you."

Dave's eyes widened a teensy bit. Suddenly I was beginning to heat up... a lot.

Hmmm.. bit of a cliff hanger there! But hopefully that'll keep the reviews coming before I post the next chappy! )

p.s I am now really happy because i'm watching xfactor and am LOVING the boyband! (i'm a BIG boyband fan :P)

p.p.s and it doesn't hurt that they are groovy bananas looking :P

p.p.s if you watch xfactor, does anyone else think that when Austen has his hair slicked across his face he looks likes creepy thin man from charlie's angels?!