Goodbye and Hello
These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.
"I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me." John Wesley.
Chapter 26
Roy moved out into the hallway where Joanne was waiting on him. He wasn't really sure about everything that had just happened but he did know that she was here, for him and Johnny, at least for now.
"Roy, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hide anything from you. Johnny just wanted to tell you in his own way, his own time."
"It's okay Jo, I understand. Every little piece of information I get about his family is just a part of a larger puzzle." He shook his head, "I still can't believe he has a sister out there somewhere. How are we ever going to find her again?"
"I know where she is Roy," her voice became quieter.
He looked into her eyes, "What?"
"When he asked me to write her back he wanted to keep his location secret from her until he knew what she wanted. He was so untrusting of her, so afraid she would lead his father back to him."
"Why did she write to him in the first place?"
"She talked about their childhood and how sorry she was for leaving him behind that she was young and scared and didn't know what else to do. She wanted to see him again and find out how he was doing. Apparently she saw the TV show that you and he did about the paramedic program. That's how she found him."
Roy was doing calculations in his head at this point, "How did she see a TV show about him in Montana?"
"She's not in Montana."
Roy felt his heart beat quicken, "Okay Jo, spill it, where is she?"
She smiled, "Right here in LA." She then told him about the letters. "She wanted Johnny to think she was back in Montana incase he didn't want to see her. She knew he would be mad at her for leaving so long ago. When she got older and more settled down she worked at finding him then when she found out where he was she decided to move closer. It was her hope to see him again one day, when he was ready."
He was grateful that she had this information, something that was so valuable to Johnny, in safe keeping for him but also was a tad bit jealous that she apparently knew more about his family than he did. Joanne watched his face and could read him. "Roy, don't blame Johnny over this. He was prepared to tell you everything before all this happened, before you were hurt. He was waiting to hear from her again after asking her some questions about the rest of their family. Then he was going to come to you."
It should have comforted him but it only served to make him angry again. Just another effect of her actions.
Jo had wanted to go right then and find her but Roy chose to heed Johnny's warnings about her going alone. He was right; they didn't really know anything about her and who she might be with. They couldn't even be sure of her intentions. He was still dealing with his own feelings where Joanne was concerned but he still wasn't going to let her go find this woman alone.
"Do you know exactly where she is or how we can reach her?" He asked.
"I have an address but not a phone number. We will have to find her house."
"Okay, see if Sandee next door can watch the kids after you pick them up at school and we'll go find her."
After a quick check on Johnny to find him sleeping Roy headed to the apartment for a quick shower and to put on fresh clothes. Then after grabbing a couple of pieces of toast he headed for his house.
As he stood outside the door he hesitated. For the first time he wasn't sure if he should knock or just go on in. It was his house anyway. But with Joanne staying there temporarily he chose to be respectful and knock. He heard the distant, "Come in."
When he opened the door he saw Joanne coming out of the kitchen as she wiped her hands on her apron. The sense of déjà was incredible almost overwhelming his senses. The house was refurbished with everything back in place, even the pictures on the mantle had been returned.
She watched him come in and had to resist the urge to call out 'welcome home honey'. For some reason this just didn't seem like the time for it. Him walking in the door after being gone for a while was just too reminiscent of their old life. The life she tried to pull them away from because she had come to hate it.
"Daddy, daddy, daddy," Jenny came running and took a flying leap into his arms.
"How are you today my honey bear?" He said with a big smile.
She giggled, "Oh silly daddy, I'm not a honey bear! I'm a girl."
He started sniffing her neck, tickling her, and making her squirm all in his arms. "I don't know you smell sweet like honey."
"Dad, can you sign this for me?" Chris was pushing a paper and pen into his hands as Jenny slid down out of his arms.
"What is it? Or am I allowed to read it first," he said with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, it's nothing bad dad. Mrs. Sanders said I'm getting an award for doing so well on my science project."
Roy had helped him with it some but he knew how hard he had worked on it himself, "Chris, that's great!" He eyed the boy closely, "You don't seem very excited about it?"
"I guess I am," he said as a small smile escaped his lips.
"Christopher, why didn't you have me sign it?" Joanne asked as she came in from the kitchen.
He quickly shrugged, "Dad usually signs my stuff for school."
She looked a little disappointed but smiled anyway. "Okay you two are you ready?"
"Daddy you take us, you take us. Please, pretty please?" Roy just laughed at the bouncing blond headed little tyke at his feet.
"Okay, settle down. You don't want to wear out Mrs. Sandee too soon now do you?"
Joanne watched his interactions with the kids knowing that once he walked in the door they were oblivious to her presence. In the past that never bothered her knowing that he had been gone for so many hours it was normal for them to be so glad to see him. But since the first separation when she moved up north they had changed. They were now attached to him at every opportunity and it hurt.
Roy walked them next door to stay for a while. As he kissed Jenny goodbye she gave him a big hug and wasn't letting go. "Jenn, I've got to go hon."
She leaned back and looked at him with her big blue eyes, "But you'll be back right daddy?"
He rubbed her head with his hand, "Of course honey. I've got to go do an errand for Johnny."
She rubbed his cheek with her little hand, "Promise?"
Roy was concerned with this new separation issue she was having. He knew the turmoil between him and Joanne was very hard on the kids but they had tried very hard to keep the kids at a distance from the issues.
Roy gave her a big smile, "Yes Jenny, I promise I will be back."
Chris on the other hand just gave a frustrated grunt at his overly dramatic sister and ran into the house.
Roy just grinned, boys. "Thanks Sandee. We should be back in a couple of hours."
"No problem Roy, take your time. Tell Johnny I'm thinking about him okay?"
"Sure will." He turned and headed back across the lawn a little anxious about being trapped in the car with Joanne for a while. Could they carry on a normal conversation without it blowing up on them?
When he returned Joanne was pulling out a slip of paper from her wallet with writing on it. They both were apprehensive about meeting this woman. What was she like? Did she still even want to hear about him and most importantly, would she be willing to make an ultimate sacrifice for a brother that she hadn't talked to in over ten years?
As they headed out the car remained quiet. It was like they didn't know what to say to each other anymore. Joanne thought, have we really grown this far apart? She almost asked him about being back at the station but honestly didn't want to hear about that.
"So Chris got an award I hear for his science project?" She tried to start off some conversation.
"Yea," he simply answered.
Silence again.
He pulled off the interstate and headed out of the main city. "What are we going to say to her?" He asked which told her exactly where his mind was for the ride.
"I guess we introduce ourselves and start telling her about her brother," she answered in a hopeful manner.
He shook his head, "I only hope it's half that easy."
They continued the drive leaving the big city behind them and headed east toward the Chino Hills area. The landscape changed from concrete to green rolling hills as they got closer to the national forest area. Roy held the address and looked at the name on the other side of the paper, Wakanda.
"Interesting name isn't it?" He asked.
"Yea, Johnny said it's Lakota. Look," she said and he saw her pointing to a gravel road with an arch sign which said 'Wakhan Thanka nici un'. Underneath that it said May the Great Spirit go with you and guide you.
They pulled onto the narrow gravel road and drove down the long driveway. It wasn't until they came over a slight rise that they saw her home. It was beautiful. The large two story white house had a huge porch that wrapped all the way around it, flowers were on all sides and a massive oak tree stood beside it offering cooling shade in the heat of the summer. They parked beside a dark green vehicle and when Roy got out he chuckled at the fact that it was a Rover, like Johnny's. To the left of the house was a large red barn with several horses contained by white wood fences that seemed to stretch out into the horizon.
There was a bustling of activity around the barn with a couple of men and a woman as they seemed to be moving the animals from one corral to another one. A loud barking startled them as they saw a very healthy looking German Sheppard heading straight for them. The woman looked up and furrowed her eyebrows.
"Misun! Stop that," she hollered as she came running over. Roy knew who she was right away. She was wearing worn blue jeans and a paisley teal blue shirt, cowboy boots and hat. She greeted them with a warm smile and outstretched hand.
"Welcome. What can I do for you folks?" Her voice was soft but full of energy. She was about Johnny's height, slim and strong looking, much like Johnny's own frame. Her skin was olive brown, long black straight hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. She was beautiful Roy thought then he quickly looked over to Joanne, like she could read his mind. But she didn't have too. She stepped forward.
"Hi. We're really sorry to come unannounced but I'm Joanne DeSoto," she paused a moment for the name to sink in, to see if she would remember it from the letters. "This is my husband Roy. Roy is Johnny's partner at work and best friend."
They watched the smile disappear from her face then a look of concern come over it, "John? Has something happened to him?"
She took a step backwards and almost stumbled, Roy grabbed her arm to steady her. "Johnny's in the hospital." He looked around, "Is there somewhere we can talk?"
She nodded and as he let go of her arm she guided them up the porch stairs and into the house. "Please come in and make yourselves comfortable." After they sat on the couch together she continued. The large dog had also come inside with them and now stood beside her chair. "Sit Misun (meesoon), its okay."
Joanne looked at the dog, "Misun? That's a pretty name, what does it mean? "
The young woman smiled, "It means 'Little Brother' in Lakota."
Roy suddenly felt like everything would be okay. She hadn't kicked them out or sicked the dog on them yet and she seemed very upset that something had happened to Johnny.
"Please," she continued. "Tell me what's happened."
Roy scooted forward in his seat. "Johnny was injured during a fire about two weeks ago. He was doing well until the last twenty four hours." He could see her nodding her head softly as she listened intently to him. "He's gotten sick again because one of his kidneys was damaged and is not working like it should anymore."
She leaned back in her chair. She was a well educated woman; she knew what they were asking. "Does he know you are here?"
Roy and Joanne looked at each other then her again as they shook their heads to say no. She stood up and walked around the room. She stopped in front of the large stone fireplace and picked up a picture, handing it to Roy. "This is the only picture I have of him. He was 10 and I was 13 there."
He smiled inside at the little boy and girl sitting on the old front porch stairs together. Johnny hadn't changed much.
"A lot has changed since then," she said to Roy then laughed. "Everything has changed since then for both of us. I bet he doesn't talk about his family much huh?"
"Never actually. Sometimes he will mention things about the reservation but nothing specific."
She sat down again, "Well that sounds like TeeTonka. I'm not surprised at all."
"TeeTonka?" Joanne asked. "Is that his Indian name?"
She laughed, "No that was my nickname for him growing up. TeeTonka, it means 'he who talks too much.'"
This time Roy laughed, "Now that fits him better than any other name I've ever heard."
"That boy could talk your ear off when he got something on his mind," she shook her head with a smile on her face. Then she got a little more serious, "Even with me he didn't talk about home. He just kept in all inside of him. I'd try and he would just clam up. Even the night I ran away, I begged him to come with me. I promise I would take care of him."
"He only remembers that you abandoned him," Joanne said.
"I know," she said sadly. "I never understood why he wouldn't leave. There was nothing there for us anymore."
"You were children," Roy said.
"There was no one to help us, not on the reservation. But it was just like him to keep a promise. When our mom died he promised her he wouldn't abandon our dad but she was so sick. She had no idea of what she was asking from him."
"But he did leave."
"Finally, yes. I went back to get him one night and found out he was gone. It took me years to find him again. My husband and I moved here when we found out where he was living. I just wanted to be near him even if he didn't want to see me.
"You're married?" Joanne asked.
"I was. My husband died in a car accident a few years ago which suddenly made it even more important for me to reach John. He's the only family I have left and I wanted him back in my life. But he said no."
Joanne leaned forward and took her hands, "He was scared. He didn't have any idea what or who he was saying no to. Please give him another chance. He has many friends that love him like family but he needs to know that you are here for him."
"He said he didn't want me to come around," she said as the tears ran down her face. "So I've stayed back and now you're telling me I might lose him?"
This time Roy was on his feet, "Joanne and I have been his family but she's right. I know better than anyone that he needs to see you whether he thinks so or not. And I don't plan on losing anyone right now."
She looked up at this blue eyed man that seemed to be such a fierce protector of her little brother, "Then tell me what I need to do."