The trip back to the Navy Yard was quiet. Tony's back ached a little from where he hit the wall and he could still feel the remnants of the solid weight of the man that had crashed into him. Tony kept his face a careful mask but inside, he felt shaken…not stirred, he silently added, smiling a little at the James Bond reference. The small smile quickly faded as he remembered the wild, crazed look in the man's eyes and felt the weight of impact all over again. He shivered involuntarily. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Gibbs glance over at him but he pretended not to notice. Instead, he stared out the window, his eyes idly glossing over the snow-caked cars and slushy roads.
Yeah, okay, talking to that guy probably wasn't the smartest thing he ever did, but he wanted to solve this case as soon as possible. He hoped against hope that Ducky would say it was some natural cause though the Lance Corporal was so young, he highly doubted it. He felt off-balance. He normally wouldn't have been affected by being attacked on the job. In fact, he half-expected it. This time was different. This wasn't some random perp, guilty of something, attacking him in order to get away. This was someone who was very ill, unable to make good decisions or even use logic. Tony felt sorry for the man. The fact that his behavior vaguely reminded him a little of his mother's behavior before she died had…
He slammed the door on that line of thought. Now was not the time to think about that. Christmas was hard enough to get through and this one promised to be a happy Christmas and he wouldn't let anything spoil it, certainly not a mentally ill patient who reminded him a little of his mother. A flash of his mother drinking his sea monkeys popped into his mind and he shuddered, seeing all over again the wild look in her eyes. The more he tried to block it out, the more clearly he saw it, first through the eyes of himself as a child and then through the eyes of an adult. He remembered before that she had been drinking heavily, he recalled seeing an empty bottle of liquor but he couldn't remember what she had drank, if he ever knew. Drunk. She had been really drunk. That would explain craziness. People always did crazy things when they were drunk. It didn't mean she was mentally ill the way Millner was.
He sighed. All he really wanted was for this case to be wrapped up so he could forget all about crazy people. He also resolved to lay off on the alcohol this Christmas.
Try as he might, he couldn't get Mr. Millner out of his mind, seeing the crazed look in his eyes, his paranoia that someone was out to get him. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you, Tony thought, remembering Catch-22, the movie and the book. There was probably no one after him but then again, a man did turn up dead so maybe someone was after Park.
He shook his head from his thoughts. He should be thinking about Lance Corporal Park, not Mr. Millner. It was then he realized, cringing, that he forgot the man's first name. He knew he'd asked his name and that the nurse had answered but for the life of him, he couldn't remember it. Brian? After a moment, he recalled that Brian was the patient with nightmares. He drew a blank. It wasn't like him to be off his game. He ran a hand down his face. This shouldn't have disconcerted him quite so much.
Tony sighed. Maybe it was the wild, crazed look in his eyes. He hadn't felt scared of the man, he was clearly ill and the staff had sedated him fairly quickly. Still though, he should've found out more about him. What if he had killed their Lance Corporal?
At least Millner's name would be on the list he obtained from the hospital so maybe he could cover his lapse.
"You alright, DiNozzo?" Gibbs broke the tense silence.
"Yeah, Boss. I'm fine."
"Too quiet to be fine."
Tony didn't have an answer to that. Maybe if he'd been with Tim or Ellie he'd have talked more but he'd worked with Gibbs for so long he didn't feel always need to fill the silence. Come to think of it, the only time he did was when he was in a good mood. Gibbs always saw right through him anyway.
He shifted in his seat a little and realized his lower legs and feet were cold. He frowned. He reached over and adjusted the heat so hot air blew over his feet and lower legs.
A few minutes later, Gibbs broke the silence again. "You sure you're alright?"
Tony sighed. "I really am fine, Boss. My back aches a little from hitting the wall and my feet are cold, no big deal. Was just thinking about the case." Okay, that wasn't entirely true but it was close enough to the truth.
Gibbs dropped it but Tony could feel that Gibbs' attention was on him even as the man drove. Not for the first time, he vaguely wondered how Gibbs did that. When they reached the Navy Yard, Tony felt like he was thawing out and he headed back upstairs while Tim and Ellie took the evidence to Abby and Gibbs went to get coffee. Tony immediately started in on the list of patients, starting with Kevin…Yes, that was it, Kevin Millner, looking for a connection between him and Lance Corporal Park.
He wasn't surprised that there was no obvious connection. Deep down, he hadn't really thought there would be. As Tony moved on to other patients, he noticed his feet and lower legs were still cold, maybe not quite as cold as they were before he turned up the heat in the car but still colder than usual. His hands were cold too, he realized and frowned. He looked out the window and snow was coming down, creating a curtain of white. Not surprising as it was a week before Christmas and turning into a wet snowy week at that. With a sigh, he stood up and put his suit jacket back on. He probably needed to eat too. That would warm him up. Funny though, he didn't feel particularly hungry. He ordered a late lunch, getting everyone's favorites to be delivered and settled in to wait to be called by security.
Ellie and Tim returned from downstairs and Tony told them there was nothing on Millner or Fuller. Tim started delving into Park's background and Ellie watched the security video.
When lunch arrived, Tony went down to get it and noted the achiness in his body. Maybe he had hit the wall harder than he thought. His hands felt colder too. He really needed food, remembering that his light breakfast was hours ago. Grateful for the tray of drinks, all large, he realized he was thirsty too. He frowned a little. Not like him to not realize hunger or thirst. On the other hand, it had been one heck of a morning so maybe that wasn't so surprising.
Once lunch was distributed, Tony finished off his drink before he was even half through with his meal and he rinsed out the cup and filled it with water. Ellie gave him an amused grin. "Thirsty?"
"A little," he grinned a little.
Gibbs returned soon after and smirked a little at seeing lunch on his desk. He ate without commenting, knowing it was too soon to expect them to have much information, plus they were still waiting on cause of death.
The rest of the day was filled with research, background checks. Ellie went over the security footage carefully and it was around 4:30 when she reported that she couldn't find anything to suspect foul play. She had verified that only authorized personnel were there; no employees there who weren't marked as having the day off and all admitted patients accounted for.
Gibbs huffed at hearing this news. Ducky had started the autopsy but not enough time had passed for any results except to say that he had inspected the spot Tony pointed out and it was merely an acne pustule. Abby was backlogged with evidence from another team so she hadn't even started on their case yet.
"Go home," Gibbs ordered. "Nothing more we can do tonight."
Tim and Ellie wasted no time leaving since it was so rare they got out by 5 o'clock but Tony stayed at his desk, his finger idly curling around his mouse wheel at intervals, searching for something.
"DiNozzo?"
"Yeah, Boss?" Tony responded automatically without looking up.
"Ya deaf? I said go home."
"Almost done here, Boss. Just finishing up background on this one."
Gibbs let it go but Tony felt his eyes on him. He usually liked it when Gibbs paid attention to him, but right now, he couldn't help but wish Gibbs was ignoring him. He'd done a little research on paranoid schizophrenia since Kevin Millner wasn't the only one at the hospital who had it and felt the rush of empathy. It must be terrible to live like that. He couldn't imagine it, didn't want to imagine it.
Tony remembered what Park looked like. He was in plain clothes but he did have a Marine haircut that looked like it was just starting to grow out. He wondered if Miller thought since he was a Marine he was coming for him and killed him. There was no evidence pointing to that yet but without having more information, it'd be impossible to know. Still, if there was foul play, that's an angle that would need following up. Tony wrote that idea down as well as a couple of questions on his notepad to be explored later once more information was available. They'd have to wait for Ducky and Abby.
Finally, Tony shut down his computer and got ready to go. He was still cold and he noted a little dizziness when he stood up as well as some of the residual achiness from earlier. It'd been a long day. Of course, he'd been sitting on his butt in front of the computer all afternoon, which can't be good for anybody. He looked out the window where dusk had fallen but the snow was still coming down. It'd been snowing all day so a run would be out of the question. Maybe he could run over to the Y and see if there was a pickup basketball game in the gym, then maybe see if Zoe was around, get dinner, maybe curl up in bed and watch one of the many holiday movies he liked to watch every year and Zoe had promised to watch at least some of them with him. Sounded like a perfect way to warm up and take his mind off work.
"Night, Boss." Tony waved as he headed toward the elevator, not taking offense when there was no response.
Tony glanced upward as he walked to the elevator and noticed the red light on the security camera blinking. He'd never really paid attention to the security cameras before unless they were trying to figure out whether a perp might've been seen in the act of committing a crime or on their way to and from committing a crime. He'd always took them for granted that they were there but today, after meeting Kevin Millner, he could sort of appreciate why some people got paranoid, having your every move monitored with cameras. More than once, Tony had been grateful for the presence of security cameras, but Tony had never thought about his own actions being monitored. Still, Tony had no way of knowing if the security cameras so prominently in use now had anything to do with Millner's own paranoia or if it was just part of the schizophrenia and he'd be paranoid anyway. He figured the cameras probably didn't help. Idly, he wondered if all the security cameras in the world complicated the treatment of paranoid schizophrenia. He'd have to ask one of the shrinks next time he had a chance.