Goodbye and Hello

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

"If we are incapable of finding peace in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere." Françoise de la Rochefoucauld.

AN: Sorry, if you read an earlier Chapter 29 I recanted and made some changes. Felt too many things were left unsettled. Here we go again :)

Chapter 29

The morning was fairly quiet at the station and Roy was teamed with Dwyer for the day. Looking at his watch he knew it was almost time for Kanda to meet with Brackett. All the results should be in.

"Hey, Dwyer. Let's go by Rampart and get supplies," he said as he finished up his cup of coffee.

"Sure Roy, can we grab some lunch while were out?" He was starving. "Scott's cooking something that's kind of green in the pot."

Roy grinned, "Sounds like his Tuesday surprise." Scott Taggle was filling in for Chet until he was released to come back and unfortunately for the crew he didn't cook any better that his missing comrade.

"I don't know what it is but it scares me," Dwyer laughed as he climbed into the squad.

They headed out to the hospital but for some reason Roy wasn't worried about what Brackett would have to say. Something in his proverbial gut told him that Johnny was going to be okay no matter what happened. It also helped that he had slept like a rock last night and woke up with some things finally put to rest in his life.

"Isn't today when you find out about everyone's lab test for Johnny?"

Roy glanced over as he turned down the street, "Yea. I hope maybe they have heard something while we're there."

Dwyer knew how close of friends they were, "Well I hope its good news for Johnny."

Roy nodded. Of course he agreed. It was time to get him out of that hospital and back to work. He had been lucky enough to work with Dwyer for most shifts but it wasn't the same without Johnny riding shotgun.

They came down the hallway towards the nurse's desk to find Dixie on the phone. She finished up her conversation and smiled at the medics standing beside her.

"Hey fellows," she said as she hung up the phone.

"Hey Dix, is Brackett around?" Roy asked as Dwyer passed the supply list over to her.

"He's tied up in the OR today." She knew what he was wanting, the same news they were all waiting for. She shook her head, "Sorry Roy, but he said the results weren't in yet. Probably tomorrow he wanted me to tell you and Kanda."

Roy looked around before he realized what he was doing, "Is she here?"

Dixie shrugged, "I haven't seen her yet."

"Okay, I'm going to run upstairs and …" he was interrupted by the radio going off. He listened to the call for a car accident then turned back to her as they headed down the hall, "Tell Johnny, I'll see him later."

The rest of his shift was nonstop and he was exhausted when he got off work. He decided to drag his tired old body back to the apartment and get a shower before going back to the hospital. He turned on the hot water and sat on the end of the bed to pull his shoes off when the phone rang. It was Joanne. After talking to her and getting a hot shower he sat down on the couch. Succumbing to his emotional and physical exhaustion Roy was asleep within minutes.

Rolling over he was awakened by the sharp stab of something in his side. Groaning he forced his eyes open and reached down to find a Barbie leg sticking up from between the couch cushions. Suddenly he realized how late it was. It was getting dark outside. Damn. He picked up the phone and called the ICU and asked for Johnny's room.

"Hello." It was a female voice on the phone; he knew immediately who it was.

"Hi Roy. It's Kanda," she said.

"Kanda, did Brackett have the results today?" He was kicking himself for letting the whole day slip away from him.

"He came by earlier and said some of them were in but not all. He told me to come to his office tomorrow at eleven."

"Okay, I'll be there too. How's Johnny today?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself, hold on," she said as she passed the phone to him.

"Roy," Johnny answered.

"Hey partner, sorry I missed you today but kind of fell asleep on the couch and lost track of time."

"Don't worry about it, Kanda has kept me company. Drop by tomorrow if you can," Johnny said.

"Guaranteed Junior. See ya then." Roy hung up the phone still feeling guilty for not going by today. But now he had to focus on something important for this evening. He freshened up and then headed over to see Joanne.

Roy sat on the couch, his hands were sweating. He wanted to get up and pace the floors but Joanne was already doing that for him. They had decided it was time to talk to the kids about what was going on. He was concerned about how Jenny was coping with everything and felt it was something they needed to do as soon as possible. He knew they were smart kids and had already lived in turmoil long enough.

"Okay mom, we're here." Chris said as he held Jenny's hand coming down the stairs.

"Okay," Joanne said and took a deep breath. But then she looked like a deer in the headlights so Roy jumped right on in.

"You guys know that mom and I have been having trouble recently and we just wanted to say how sorry we are for making you go through so many changes." He watched as Jenny climbed out of the chair with Chris and up onto the couch with him. Swinging her leg over his lap she put both arms around him and held on for dear life.

He rubbed her back to comfort her, "Mom and I have decided what we are going to do and we wanted to tell you so you wouldn't wonder anymore."

Chris suddenly looked so much younger as his eyes widened, "You're not leaving again are you dad?"

Roy shook his head as he felt Jenny pull her arms even tighter, "No son. I'm no leaving. Your mom and I will both be here for you guys from now on."

Joanne found her voice again, "Chris, I'm going to have a separate house from dad but I will be right here in town. Your father will move back into this house with you and Jenny. When he's at work you will stay with me but on his off days you two will be here with him. We will both be involved in your school projects and activities."

He heard her voice break a little as she fought back the tears. He gently pulled Jenny back away from him. "Jenny honey, it's going to be okay. Your mom and I love you both so much that we don't want to miss anything you do."

"Then don't do this to us!" Chris yelled suddenly.

"Chris, we are doing this for you. Just because your mother and I are not able to live together anymore doesn't mean we love you any less. We worked hard to come up with a plan that put you two first. We both want to be a part of your lives. It's not going to be easy but we will make it work."

He looked down at his little daughter and wiped the tears from her face, "Jenn, do you understand that mommy and I love you?"

She nodded but the tears still fell. Joanne came and knelt down beside her and rubbed her head gently, "Baby, daddy and I will still be with you just in different houses like we're doing now. You don't have to worry about daddy going away again okay?"

A little smile escaped her lips and she hugged him tightly again. Chris didn't look so happy but he did look less angry. "I guess we don't have any say in this do we?"

"When it comes to your mom and me, no you don't but we want you to tell us how things are going for you two. That's what's important right now." He watched as Chris nodded. Roy knew this was so hard on them but he and Joanne had agreed to make them the priority and that was the best they could do right now.

The next morning seemed to take forever to get there. After sleeping half the previous day away he only tossed and turned all night. He felt a little better about Jenny and Chris but now he faced one of his worst fears, Johnny's fate.

He knocked on Brackett's door and after hearing the 'come on in' call he stepped in to find Kanda already there. She looked up at him and greeted him with a warm smile. "Have a seat Roy we were just getting started." He motioned for Roy to have a seat. Roy nodded his head at Kanda and sat down in the chair beside her.

Brackett sat down and opened a folder. Roy was sure he was moving as slow as possible to torture him when finally he looked up at them.

"I have to be honest with both of you. This hasn't turned out like I had thought it would," he said then paused as he continued to look over Johnny's latest tests.

"Doc?" Roy asked thinking he might have to get the file and read it himself.

"When we started his treatment his left kidney had all but stopped functioning, the right one was injured but in danger of complete failure also. The current recommended treatment is dialysis until a transplant can be found since living on dialysis for the rest of their life isn't optimal. Many patients with that much injury and loss of function don't even respond to therapy."

Roy had heard all this before and his heart was about to pound out of his chest, "Doc, would you just say it."

Kanda just smiled at the impatient man beside her. Of course she wanted to hear the final results too but she knew something Roy didn't. She had already seen what would happen to Johnny.

Brackett realized he was rambling but he preferred complete explanations, "Johnny's studies have actually improved daily despite my concerns. Yesterday we did another scan and it showed the right kidney at full function again and the more injured one on the left is so much improved that he no longer even qualifies for the transplant list. He's been off treatment for 48 hours now and his labs only continue to improve. We'll still have to keep a close eye on him for the next few months but I've already written the orders for him to be moved to a regular room. I'll be ready to send him home in a few days."

Roy couldn't believe it. Another one of Johnny's lives had been used again as he skirted the worst of the possible dangers. "Home? He's well enough to go home?"

"Yep, leave it to Johnny to break all the rules once again. Now, I want him to take it easy for a while. I won't release him to work for at least another month but yea, I'm ready to kick him out of here."

Kanda stood up and shook the doctor's hand. She didn't know him but she knew enough that he really cared about what happened to Johnny and that made him important to her. "Thank you Dr. Brackett."

"That's what I'm here for but I know he wouldn't have bounced back like this without you two. He never ceases to amaze me," he said as he shook his head.

The three moved out of the office and into the waiting room just outside. Brackett said his goodbye quickly as he was called back to the ER for patient care.

"Are you going up to see Johnny now?" Kanda asked him.

Roy hesitated in his answer, "Yea, for a little while. You?"

"I saw him this morning. I have to get back home, have a sick foal to deal with." She stood there with her hands tucked into the back pockets of her blue jeans. Today she was much more casual as she wore her boots and a white t-shirt. She watched him closely and felt his tension. "You okay today?"

"Yea, I'm okay," he said taking a deep breath.

Smiling she pushed the elevator button for him, "Tell him I'll see him tomorrow."

He felt more relaxed, "I will."

When the elevator doors opened Roy's demeanor changed so sharply that Kanda almost winced out loud. She then looked over to see Joanne step off of it.