And here is chappy 6!!
Sorry for leaving you all on a dramatic cliffhanger! (Though you should be used to it by now coming from me) I totally deserve all the bashing - I especially got a lot from Miss Ek who co-writes "Flattened by a Laughing Camel" but I'm glad because that means you all want to read moreeeee! =)
By the way if you like this fanficcy go and check out "Flattened by a Laughing Camel". As you can guess from the title (unless you are extrememly dim-witted) it has a lot of Dave.
And as that old saying goes... a Dave a day keeps the nightmares away! Ok I made that up but the nub and gist is go and read the story its tres coolio if I do say so myself and I do.
"When your Laugh has gone away"
"...it's more than likely that Dave will have lost at least a couple of years."
When did I first meet Dave?!
Emma looked at me.
"...Do you really want him to wake up and learn that he's a cheater and user? He's not a bad person Georgia. Please don't make him think he is one."
"And I know you love him enough to let him start over again. Please Georgia. Please leave."
Tuesday October 25th
9.00 a.m
Assembly
Listening to another boring rant off Slim. God I hate her.
Apparently some "childish student" has drawn bats with Viking horns on everywhere around the school.
Well she can rave on.
I am on the rack of love. And Rosie was a very keen helper.
I find distraction is the best policy. Yes siree.
Plus it's Halloween soon. So the bats were clearly a mark of ingeniosity.
I can't believe I made it to school.
Although the Viking-horn wearing bats were a bit of a perk yesterday.
But nevertheless I am still in an eternal state of miz.
After Friday and the whole hospital fandango I cried and blubbed and cried some more and blubbed some more. Well the gist and nub of it is that I did a lot of blubbing.
And real tears, not the fake ones to make Vati uncomfortable and leave.
But the wierd thing is I don't feel angry and don't want to give Emma a good duffing up.
Jas thinks it's because I have finally "matured and given up my red bottom".
But actually I have a sneaky feeling it's because Emma's right. I don't want Dave to re-join our crazy world and discover he cheated on his girlfriend... several times...
The Ace Gang don't understand it.
Especially Rosie. She was hoping for some well-plotted Viking revenge.
But alas it was not to be, she had to settle for the Viking bats.
Everyone was tres supportive though. They came and sat in my bed of pain with me and brought snacks.
Well actually I wouldn't let them in the house unless they brought snacks but it worked out ok because Jas brought her entire collection of midget gems. Do you know how many she has stashed in her house? I'll help you out – a lot.
And RoRo did promise to keep Sven away from me for a bit which I was grateful for. No one needs a handful of Sweden when your Laugh has gone away.
Although he did bound up to us after Stalag 14 yesterday but Rosie assured me it was only because he wanted to know about the bat-plan.
His exact words were, "Ahh jaja you turn zee school batty jaja!!"
But live and forgive I say seeing as he did supply the spraying stuff to draw the things with.
1 second later
Jas thought it was "rather immature" of us.
But she did ask what type of bats we had drawn.
Now that got a lot of eyebrow rising.
But the rest of the Ace Gang did applaud mine and the Viking one's efforts. Well it was probably out of pity since I have turned into Miss Pathetico but whatever.
I have new goals in life;
To become batwoman of the century
To own lots and lots of bats
To be a single batwoman who shows love for her bats only. And maybe her bestest pallies, who let's face it, are extremely batty themselves
Doesn't my life sound brill?!
10 a.m
English
Great, I finally escape Slim's raving chins only to be tortured by Miss Wilson and her puppet parade.
Jas is trying to veer her away from the puppets though.
She really wants to play Juliet on stage.
I can't believe she still thinks she is Juliet. And that Hunky is her perfect Romeo. Pfft.
It's a stupid story.
And they both end up dead. Where's the true love in that?
I'll tell you where. No where. Yupp.
Me, I am more realistic about things.
1 second later
Where's the nearest bat store around here?
10 minutes later
Oh joys unbounded.
Miss Wilson just announced that once again, the Foxwood lads will be "assisting" in our school production.
Great, that means more time for the Ace Gang to snog with their boyfriends and more time for me to be all aloney on my owney in a dark cupboard calling my bats.
What's more, she's thinking about letting them actually play parts this time.
Jas is soooo excited.
Jas - "Oh my god Gee isn't this news fantastic! I hope Tom gets picked for Romeo!"
Me - "I'll try to contain my joy."
5 minutes later
I wonder if Dave will come? Not that I'm supposed to talk to him or whatever. I'm not quite sure what the exact rules are but I think the main message from Emma was "stay away from my man bitch".
Well not exactly like that by you get the gist.
Hmmm I wonder how I can find out?
I can't seem to mention it to Jas or Rosie etc. They seem to be treating Dave as a "forbidden" topic.
They probably think I'll start blubbing again like I did that time he told me he was staying with Emma, or this past weekend.
But the strange thing is I think I've blubbed all the tears out of me.
I feel miz constantly but I'm starting to get used to it.
It's just like endless torture really.
Jealous?
30 seconds later
Sent a note to Jools.
Bonjour chum, do you know off Rollo if Dave is out of hospital yet? Has he said anything about it to you?
Gee
x
Jools is the only one I can mention Dave to. She doesn't go all shifty eyes and nervous stuttering on me like the others.
For them the word Dave is like an alarm bell and a switch that makes them all turn into Ellen.
And let me tell you this, one Ellen is enough and that is le fact.
20 seconds later
Jools scribbled something down and handed the note back to me.
It's a good job Jas is too preoccupied sucking up to Miss Wilson or she would be eyeing us like goosegogs.
Unfortunately though Rosie is.
"Oy whats the fandango over here?!"
Luckily Jools had a flash of the whatsit and said, "Planning what to get you, Viking Bride-to-be, for your wedding pressie."
Rosie raised her eyebrows really high. Oh not that again.
"I don't believe you, you twits," she said but kindly (I like to think), "but just for Viking's sake, I would appreciate a new beard. A longer one. Down to my knees."
And with that she swung round and began chatting to Mabs.
Fair enough.
I opened Jool's note. It said –
I'm not too sure, I think Rollo mentioned something about coming home last night?? There was some reason that he couldn't meet up with me. He said he had some fandango going on, maybe that was it??
Jools x
Hmmm interesting.
Still, if Dave did leave the hospital last night that must mean he is ok. Well minus the lack of memory for 2 years of his life. That must suck.
Poor Dave.
1 second later
Lord Sandra I am such a kind generous person.
I should think about becoming a Saint.
My people (i.e. bats & the furry pals) can worship me and bring me snacks and praise. A good yowl would do the job.
Lunch
1.00pm
On the knickertoaster
Hmmmm nice toasty warm PANTS.
"So who do you think Tom's competitors for Romeo are?"
Oh great Jas is off to Jas land on a one way ticket.
Mabs grabbed one of Jas's precious midget gems as she said, "How do you even know Tom wants to play Romeo?"
Jas shuffled a bit. Then she started mumbling, "I..mmcall...Tom, mm at ermm break mm."
What in PANTS breaking through yonder window is she on about?!
Rosie said, "What in PANTS breaking through yonder window are you trying to say woman!!?"
Wow freaky deaky mystic meg bananas!!
Jas did a bit more shuffling. "I... may have rang him at break."
Haha Jassy Spazzy!!
She will never live this down.
Not that I'm surprised. It's just like Jassy Spazzy to go running off to Hunky as soon as possible.
"So he said yes then?" Jools asked.
Jas nodded like a nodding-thing. "Of course. But he said he'd have trouble convincing some of the others to join in."
"No!" I said sarcastically, which was of course was lost on Miss Juliet.
She nodded again. "I know! He said he'd try and talk them into it though. I think Dec is quite keen. Apparently he's a really good actor." Jas said nudging Ellen which sent her into the biggest ditherspaz of the century.
What a shocker.
I won't go through the whole... sentence as I do have places to be in the next ten years (my bat cave being top on the list) but basically it was a lot of, yeas and umms and errrs and ermss and I knows etc.
5.00p.m
Home
Hmm time for some lovely tea I think I wonder what Mutti has prepared for me...
Ahh yes dried stuff with gone-off milk!
What a treat.
Wednesday October 26th
3.30p.m
Walking home with Miss Juliet and Mr-Maybe-Romeo
The Foxwood lads are coming to Stalag 14 tomorrow.
Slim said in assembly, "Now I want you all on your best behaviour, that means you Miss Nicolson and Miss Mees."
For some reason I think it was directed at me and Rosie. But this is only a theory.
2 minutes later
Oh Slim's pyjamas I think I just saw Dave and Emma walking down the street!
I say "think" because as soon as Jas saw me looking her and Tom rugby tackled me into a flowerbed!
And then Mark Big Gob and fellow blunder boys walked by and yelled, "Whey to go man, double the nungas means double the fun! Get in there!"
Oh pathetico of them.
Tom and Jas had a spaz attack and jumped away from me like I had the black death.
Charming.
And then Jas began to "rearrange" the flowers. God forbid we crush God's wonderful plants.
I don't think God would mind myself, he's too busy crushing my heart.
4.00p.m
Home in the land of Swiss Family Mad
Libby came bounding up to me when I walked through the door. Since when did she beat me home?
Mum must have to be home early to go do salsa or yoga or some other pointless activity that women going through a mid-life crisis do.
"Gingey I LOBE you!!" She said (well yelled) at me and tried to climb her way up my leg.
She is not light for a 5 year old that is le fact.
I picked her up. At least I have someone who loves me.
2 seconds later
Ewwww.
Libby just licked the side of my face! Then she started laughing her crazy heggy-hog laugh.
Scary potatoes.
30 seconds later
"Georgie is that you pet?" Mutti called, appearing at the top of the stairs in... less of an outfit than prossies where.
I said "No she is unavailable at this present time, try calling when you have found the clothes of the correct era." Which I think is vair amusant.
Mutti pretended not to hear me. She must want something.
2 seconds later
"Georgie dear can you nip to the shops and get Angus and Gordy some catfood?"
Catfood? What do they need catfood for? They get better meals than me from the garbage.
Mutti ran down the stairs and handed me something.
Christ on bike! 20 squids!
"Here, get yourself something pretty with the change eh?" She said and tweaked my cheek!!
Lord Sandra.
4.45p.m
In boots
This is such bribery.
But I don't care because I have 16 squids for spenderooneys.
I found the cheapest catfood possible so I have more money for lipgloss. That is the ingeniosity of moi.
Hmm what flavour to get though?
Not that it matters I suppose. There's not anyone that wants to snog me. Or that I want to snog.
Well, I suppose I can think of one...
3 seconds later
Oh my giddy god pyjamas! Tom and Marsupial Man (a.k.a Robbie) have just walked into boots! What in Grandvati's undersized cycling shorts are they doing here?!
1 second later
Oh drat they've seen me. Robbie waved and then they both started making their way over to me.
The last thing I need right now is Robbie telling me about his great relationship with Wet Lindsey.
"Hey Gee," Robbie and Tom said.
I nodded and smiled.
They're looking all weird at me. Probably like I'm batwoman. Which I am.
"Err Gee what's that?" Tom asked pointing at my shopping bags.
Oh lord. All you can see is a picture of a huge furry face.
"Erm... it's just food. Catfood. For Angus and Gordy. Not for me."
Robbie grinned, "Right. Do you want to go get something to drink?"
Uh-oh, return of the Sex God, asking me on a date.
Although, Tom is there so it can't be a date.
And even better (I think) I don't feel jelloid at all! Which means no red bottom!
But can you even have the red bottom when you don't have a boyfriend or One and Only One?
My head hurts.
5.05p.m
In Luigi's sat between Tom & Robbie
I ordered a hot chocolate, minus the whipped cream. I may not have a boyfriend but I should at least avoid the frothy moustache. That would just scare everyone away, including the bats.
"So Gee," Tom said, "How's... school?"
Oh joys he's playing the "forbidden-Dave" topic game like the Ace Gang. This is just what I need.
15 minutes later
This is pathetico. We have covered every inch of Stalag 14 and are now onto the English play.
I may be in a state of permanent miz but that shouldn't mean endless torture of the Stalag 14-kind.
"Jas said you're coming to Stalag 14 tomorrow to help out. Who else is coming?" I asked Tom and did a bit of wiggling my eyebrows at him.
Shuffle shuffle for Tom. Haha Vole man!
"Erm... well you know, just you know, the lads."
I frowned at him. Stupid avoider-boy.
2 seconds later
Robbie stared at me like a starey thing for a moment then he said, "So Tom how's Dave recovering?"
I opened my mouth like a frozen fish. Talk about getting to the whatsit.
Tom did a bit more uncomfortable shuffling. I saw Robbie sneak a glance at me and I gave him a grateful smile.
Tom glared at Robbie and said (without looking at me) "He's fine."
"Tom please," I said, "I can talk about Dave you know. Will you just tell me?"
Shifty eyes. "But Jas said..."
Robbie interrupted, "Tom she has a right to know. Now why not do the sensible thing and tell her instead of keeping her in the dark where she doesn't deserve to be?"
Wow, what amazing words of wisdom, well for Marsupial Man anyway.
10 minutes and zonks of shuffling later
Tom finally decided to spill.
Apparently Dave actually is "fine". Well at first he didn't know the names of Tom and co, but McDreamy said that he still felt the "emotional bond" and knew they were friends whatever that means.
And of course he knew all his family because they met before 2 years ago duh.
1 minute later
"How's his head?" I asked through Robbie.
Not literally duh! I mean Robbie asked it but I was thinking it. Plus Tom is more likely to answer if Robbie asks. I think Marsupial Man may have a touch of the mystic-meg about him. Scary potatoes.
"Alright. He has to keep a bandage on but he wears a bandana over the top. Thinks he's a pirate or something." Tom said grinning.
And I'm laughing. How odd. I thought I'd forgotten how to.
I won't be for long though. Now for the tricky subject...
1 second later
"Did he know Emma?" I asked quietly but managed to resist any blubbing extravaganza.
Tom bit his lip but answered after Robbie threw him a look. "No. But I think he's sort of with her. At least she thinks so."
Oh perfectamonda with knobs.
Robbie caught my eye and could see the teeny water droplet thingys in them; I was starting to cry.
But then he put his arm around me so I did properly start to cry.
Merde.
3 seconds later
"Does..." I said to Tom, "...does he remember me?"
Tom gulped. "Erm... I- I don't think so. He's not said anything sorry."
That sent me into a real blubbing spaz so Tom grabbed my hand that was shaking around my hot choccy.
Talk about pathetic. I thought I could handle this?!
10 minutes later
Walking home
Well that went well. Not.
First the blubbing scenario and then guess who walked in while I was sandwiched between and Ex-Sex God and a Maybe-Mr-Romeo?
Wet Lindsey that's who. WL who is my sworn enemy. And Robbie's girlfriend. Ish.
Anyway she saw Robbie with his arm around me and had a complete nervy b. If I wasn't in such a sheer desperadoes state it would have been vair amusant.
She marched her slimy-self up to our table and slimed out, "Robbie what in heaven's sake are you doing? You know it's not your job to babysit weeping children."
But then Robbie frowned and said "Not now Lindsey. I'll talk to you later."
She glared back and said, "Too right you will. And you can explain why you have your arm around that pathetic snivelling girl."
I felt Robbie's arm tighten on my shoulder. He was squeezing it tres tight but I thought that wouldn't' be the best time to tell him.
Robbie said (in a tres scary voice) "Go away Lindsey."
Wow that showed her!
She turned and stormed her way back out! Brillopads!
After that octopus fiasco I said a quick goodbye and am now making my way back to the Loonville residence.
Thursday October 28th
3.00p.m
Waiting for the Foxwood lads to arrive. Everyone is pressed up against the window trying to spot the bus.
Honestly, they have no digniosity. You would think they had never come into contact with the boy-type species. Which incidentally, some of the dim-witted ones haven't.
Still, live and let live. At least we got out of Stalag 14 early. Well not out out, we are still trapped in this hell hole. But we're out of lessons and away from Hawkeye which is a plus in anyone's books.
2 minutes later
One of the pathetic girls at the window (i.e. Jazzy Spazzy) had a sighting so they all rushed off to the Tart's Wardrobe.
I was very nearly trampled to death, they are like a herd of elephants is what they're like.
Why bother waiting squished like squished things against a window if you run off when what you're waiting for actually arrives?!
Obviously I have more digniosity.
30 seconds later
In the Tart's Wardbroke.
I lost my whatsit (oo-er) when I saw the lads getting off the bus. I think it's because I don't want to see Dave.
Except I do.
1 second later
But I don't.
2 seconds later
No, I do...
1 second later
...not.
10 minutes later
Hiding behind in the line while Miss Wilson talks to us all. She is useful for something at least. I can't see a thing.
The Ace Gang are all giving me the eyebrow raise, especially Rosie. But at least I can't see Dave. And he can't see me.
Not that it would matter him not remembering me an' all.
1 minute later
Uh-oh, we have to split off into groups to practice our "inner characters".
This should be fun. Not.
Naturally Tom and co came over to join our group (i.e. they all started snogging). Well except Po and Hunky who actually did what Miss Wilson said. How vair vair sad.
So the Vole couple are off being Mrs Juilet and Mr-Maybe-Romeo, Jools is snogging Rollo, Mabs is snogging Edward, Ellen and Dec are stuttering their way to snogging and Rosie has ran off to fetch her beard.
For the incredibly dim out there that means I am left with...
1 second later
"Hi, I'm Dave."
Oh pantyhose I think I've gone all jelloid.
Ahhh a cliff hanger! It's a shocker I know...
But PLEASE keep reviewing I love them! And I hope this took a turn you didn't expect... but it's going to get better from here you'll see!
Horn's out! ;) x