"Not even gonna fight back, are you, Chara?" The boy taunted. You felt another sharp pain in your leg as he kicked your leg hard. You could already tell you'd be covered in bruises by the next day.

"Man, he's such a wimp," another kid said. "No wonder he plays with flowers and reads all of the time." He shoved you to the ground, harder enough to knock the wind out of your lungs. You stared up at him from the dirt, nothing but cold fury in your eyes. The tears that were trying to come out stung, but you had felt worse pain.

The first boy grinned cruelly. "Aw, is the sissy mad? Well what are you going to do about it, kid? Fight me? Or just keep staring at me until lasers shoot out of your eyes?" You wished he could know just how much you wanted that to happen. But until you could get cybernetic implants, that wasn't happening. And neither was fighting them. They were both your brother's age, and almost as bad as him.

So, you went for the third option. You ran. As quickly as you could, you jumped to your feet and ran as fast as you could. The pain that wracked your entire body became background noise as you did your best to focus on the path ahead of you. Unfortunately, they were both faster, and your cuts and bruises weren't helping. You felt a sharp pain in the back of your head— a rock— and crashed to the ground. In seconds, they were upon you.

You woke up with a pained gasp. Every muscle was still locked up, and you couldn't force yourself to move. You could still feel the cuts and bruises that decorated your skin. You could have sworn those kicks and punches were still happening. You wanted to run. You wanted to fight back. You weren't sure what you wanted. But you knew you needed it to be over.

Gradually, you became aware of a voice, and the room around you came into focus. "Chara! It's okay!" Your breathing slowed slightly. You could finally see Asriel's face right above yours, and just how concerned he was. A night light had been put in the room recently, so you could actually see that you were in your room. Underground. Not on the Surface with those terrible kids.

You finally relaxed slightly, but you couldn't stop the pounding in your chest. You were covered in sweat too. Gross. But Asriel looked relieved, his fanged smile growing wide. "Oh thank God you're awake. I thought I'd have to get Mom or Dad again."

You looked away, embarrassed. You could feel your cheeks burning with the blood rushing to them. The nightmares had become even more frequent in the past few months. At first, it was only once a week. But now it was rare to not have one. You had gone to sleeping in the same bed as Asriel just for some extra comfort nearly every night. But you could barely sleep. And you felt awful for keeping him up with your issues. How did he put up with you?

Asriel held your hand tightly while you allowed yourself to calm down. You hated being treated like a little kid (which one of you was older anyway?), but you couldn't deny that being by Asriel was calming. He just had that air of protectiveness around him that you couldn't help but feel safer in. It was just like with his parents. Monsters were just more caring in your experience. Why couldn't humans be like that?

Finally, you had calmed down enough to look normal. "Are you okay now?" You nodded. He smiled. "Good. Let's try going to sleep again, okay?" You both lay back down, Asriel draping an arm over you. Once again, you burned with embarrassment. But you could stand it just this once.

The next morning, you woke up first. Asriel was still beside you, snoring softly. That was weird. He usually woke up first. But since you were already up, you didn't feel the need to stick around. You did your best to get out of bed without waking him, carefully sliding out from the sheets. Just because you were up didn't mean he had to be. Luckily, you got out without any trouble.

Since you had nothing better to do, you decided to see if Asgore and Toriel were up. You had never seen either of them not-awake, so you were kind of curious as to when they woke up in the morning. Or if they ever even slept in the first place. To be honest, you weren't sure if Boss Monsters were like humans in that sense when they grew up.

You walked over to Asgore and Toriel's room, where you saw the door was already slightly open. Just enough to peek inside. How convenient was that? You stepped closer and peered in. You didn't want to be loud, just in case they were asleep.

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but you were soon able to see Toriel and Asgore sitting on the edge of their bed, talking. While disappointed that you didn't get up earlier than them, you were still curious as to what they were talking about. And eavesdropping wasn't bad if it was just your parents.

"- nightmares, they're really getting worse, aren't they?" Toriel said quietly. You had to strain to hear her voice well. Were they talking about your nightmares? How did they even know you were having some particularly bad ones last night? Were you being loud? Or did they check up on you?

Asgore sighed. His voice was much easier to hear. He was just sort of naturally louder. "Yes, it would appear so. But Chara refuses to talk about them, so I can't imagine what the problem is. Perhaps they miss their family on the Surface." You cringed at the thought. You? Miss them? You would never want to go back! But then again, he was right about you not talking about it. Maybe they took it the wrong way.

"Actually, I do not think so," Toriel replied. You could sense the sorrow in her voice. But why? "Asriel told me that Chara sometimes talks about their life before the Underground." You frowned. Little snitch. "They said that they never got much attention from their parents. And didn't have many friends. I get the feeling that it's quite the opposite of missing their old life."

Asgore brow raised in surprise. "Are you suggesting that Chara might not have been very happy before?"

Toriel nodded. "You must have wondered why they were on the mountain in the first place. I doubt it was a family hiking trip."

"You may have a point there. When I told them they couldn't go home so long ago, they broke into tears. I thought it was because they were glad to just have a home with us, but maybe they were glad that they weren't going to be sent back." Asgore looked thoughtful as he said this, but you could see the pity in his eyes. You hated it when people felt bad for you. Why couldn't they just worry about themselves? You just didn't get it.

"Whatever their reason was, we should make Chara feel as welcome as possible, just like we have been. Now come, let's go get breakfast ready."

"Hey, Tori? What do you say we go on a little family outing today. I feel like the kids would enjoy getting out of the house for a bit."

"Sounds great, Fluffybuns." Ugh, was that her pet name for him? You regretted ever hearing that out loud. But still… King Fluffybuns... you'd think of that every time you looked at him. How were you supposed to take him seriously now?

You saw Toriel walking toward the door and made a run for it. Even if you were pretty sure it was okay to be listening— they were talking about you after all— you didn't want to get caught. Just before Toriel opened the door, you put on your best "just woke up" face as you turned around. For all intents and purposes, you looked like you were walking to their room just as they came out.

Toriel seemed to buy it. "Oh, Chara. Up already? Did you have another nightmare?" You shook your head. They didn't need to worry about you. She smiled broadly. "That's good. Well, why don't you come help me make breakfast?" She held out a hand and you gratefully took it. Maybe today would be a fairly good day after all.

Snowdin had to have been named by Asgore as well, or at least you thought so. Or maybe it was Toriel. She seemed to like puns a lot, and damn, was the name of this town punny. Someone must not have paused when they were saying they got snowed in and it stuck. Either way, it was bad.'

You were bundled up in bulky snow clothes, which you didn't appreciate much. You could barely move around, let alone run! And you probably looked ridiculous waddling around like you were. The only consolation was that Asriel looked just as stupid as you did. Luckily, you were just outside of the main part of town. You would not have wanted anyone to see you like this.

"Why do I have to wear this?" You grumbled darkly.

"Because you'll catch a cold without it, dear," Toriel replied. She was right. You just didn't want her to be. You wondered how it even snowed down here, apparently year round. Were you under Antarctica or something? There weren't even any holes in the roof of the cave here! I swear, if this is because of some ice monster—

You were shocked out of your thoughts by Asriel calling to you. He had gotten a head start on the playing, and you could see he already had a snowball in his hands. "Wanna have a snowball fight?" He smiled playfully.

You grinned as you reached down to gather up a clump of snow in your gloved hands. "I'm going to warn you now, you aren't gonna win!" With that, you chucked the ball of snow as hard as you could at Asriel. He turned his shoulder to take the hit, and it smashed against him. Harmlessly. Probably.

"Nice shot, Chara! but can it stand up to this?" He was so dramatic. He lobbed his projectile at you, but you quickly sidestepped. "Hey!"

"What? Did you really think I was just going to stand there and take it?" If there was one thing you were good at, it was dodging. Even in this bulk. Asriel threw another one, but you cleanly dodged that one too. "Try aiming where I'm going," you said jokingly. You bent over to form another snowball. Just as one hit you in the back. How did he make them so quickly?

"I finally got you!" Asriel cheered. You glared, but with no real malice behind your expression. That streak wasn't about to last long! Behind Asriel, you could see Asgore and Toriel were enjoying themselves watching you enjoy yourselves. You could never understnd that. Who had fun watching other people have fun together? You certainly never did. But hey, whatever floats their boat.

Once again, you chucked a snowball at Asriel. His eyes widened, but he decided to take a page from your book and dove to the side. Not as graceful as you would have done it, but it got the job done. However, that let the ball keep flying. Directly into Asgore.

"Oof!" He winced comically, and you could tell he probably didn't even feel the hit. "Chara, you've got a strong throw… but can you two handle me?" Your eyes widened, as did Asriel's. He seemed to know what was coming.

"I say we make a run for it," he suggested. A glance at Asgore showed he had bent over and was piling up snow in his arms. And it was quite a lot. Toriel was shaking her head next to him, but smiling.

"Got it."

You both ran as hard as you could, but in your snow pants, you weren't going to make it far. You took a glance back and saw that Asgore was catching up to you both quickly. He was completely unhindered. Not to mention he had much longer legs than both of you. "We're not gonna make it!" Asriel cried, but you could tell he was looking forward to whatever it was that was about to happen.

All of a sudden, you saw Asgore's shadow all around you. He caught up. "Ready?" You turned around just in time to see a gigantic pile of snow drop from his hands. So that's what his special attack is.

You were instantly buried under the pile of snow, and you could tell Asriel was down there with you too. However, it was the good kind of snow, powdery and soft. Neither of you had any trouble escaping your cold prison. Your head popped out, causing a lot of snow to flutter about you. Asriel's head soon emerged as well. He was covered in snow now.

You snickered, but it soon grew into an all-out laugh. Above you, you could hear Asgore's deep laughter as well, and Asriel soon joined in. "Okay," you wheezed, "Dad, you win."

"Oh really?" he asked with a smile. "Are you sure you can't take another one of my attacks?" You and Asriel both shook your heads firmly. One of those was enough for one day. Toriel seemed to think so too. She held out her hands and helped both of you out of the snow.

"How about we all go take a break at the library?" She suggested. "I think that's enough snow for now."

Soon, you were all in the library (that had a misspelled sign for whatever reason), taking a well-deserved break from running around in the cold. You had long since shed that winter coat in the corner to take up one of your favorite hobbies: reading. You had already read all of the interesting books Toriel and Asgore had, and most of Asriel's were too short to last more than a few hours. It was nice to finally find something new.

The book you had picked up was one that reminded you of the last one you had read on the Surface. It was all about the war between humans and monsters, but this one was much more detailed, even more than Toriel's explanation. You were right about her holding back information. It even went into detail about the likeliest reason the humans had won.

It made you sick.

The book spoke of how humans possessed the ability to simply care less about taking lives the more they took. And the less hesitation they had, the less monster souls could stand up to their merciless actions. It would have taken a thousand monsters just to stand up to one of the human warriors in the war.

One line in particular caught your attention. "Monsters' souls are believed to be composed of love, mercy, and compassion. However, this might not be true, as some monsters possess very little of these qualities, and humans, whose SOULs are much stronger, do not need to possess any of these qualities."

Your face contorted into a frown as you closed the rather heavy book. You knew all too well that humans didn't need any of that. You wished that you knew a human who had love, mercy, or compassion. They were all worse than every monster you'd ever met. As far as you were concerned, humans were the worst beings on the planet. You hated them.

And you were one of them.

The realization made you feel as if you had taken a punch to the gut. You hated yourself just as much as other humans, maybe even more so. You had never felt like you deserved the compassion the Dreemurrs gave you, and you never did. You were one of the things that had kept them trapped underground for countless years! Why were they so nice to you? Besides, you were a coward— too weak to even stay and face the consequences of what you had done to your brother or stand up for yourself. You weren't even wanted by your own parents! That had to mean something!

Your life was so miserable that you had even tried to end it all those months ago.

You shook with anger and a mix of other emotions you didn't understand. You didn't even care that everyone who was in the small library could probably see you having a breakdown. They were probably already staring before that. Why wouldn't they stare at some freak human in their midst? They either resented or hated you already. They thought you were just like the humans from the war, and maybe you were. No matter how much you tried, you could barely muster any love or compassion, not even for yourself. How pathetic was that? You were worthless. You deserved to die.

"Chara?" You felt a hand on your shoulder. It was Asriel's, no doubt. The king of the pity squad. Why couldn't he just leave you alone?

You looked up and glared at him. It was the feircest one you had ever managed to muster, and he shied away from it. His eyes were wide with surprise and fear as he took a step back. That was right. That was how he should have looked at you the whole time. You were the real monster. "Chara, what's wrong?"

He was still trying to get through to you? How sad was that? You stood up, pushing the chair backward. "Nothing." Your voice was rough and blunt. But you carried as much rage in that one word as you could. Maybe then he'd learn to just back off. You weren't just some injured animal he was supposed to feel bad for.

"Chara! Please, just tell me what's wrong!" He attempted to put a hand on your shoulder, but you roughly slapped it away.

"Just leave me alone." You turned away to put the book back where you found it. However, Asriel was relentless.

His eyes were now filled with what you could only describe as determination. Probably to figure out what was wrong with you. Good luck. That's a long fucking list. "Was it that book? Or did you have a nightmare while you were awake?" His hand shot out faster than you expected, and he took it from your hands.

"Hey! Give it back!" You attempted to grab it again, but he pulled it out of reach and read the cover.

"The Sealing War? Like when the humans sealed monsters underground? Why-" You abruptly snatched it out of his hands and shoved it back into the shelf. You were sure it wasn't even the right place, but you didn't care. You were so full of rage, it was as if it filled your entire soul. Why did he have to be so insistent!

Before anyone could say anything, you turned on your heels and stormed out toward the door. You didn't bother grabbing your coat as you did so. Someone like you deserved to catch a cold. You heard the voices shout your name in surprise right before you slammed the door behind you.

The chill hit you hard and fast, like running into a brick wall. Now you knew what Toriel meant when she said you would get sick quickly out there. But you didn't care. It wouldn't matter soon enough.

Before you even knew what you were doing, you marched out toward the road to Waterfall. Monsters you passed by gave you all sorts of weird looks, but you paid them no mind. You couldn't help but shiver as you walked, and snot was starting to drip from your nose. You were such a mess. No wonder everyone felt bad for you.

The clear snow eventually turned to a fog. It started out fine at first, but soon became so thick you could barely see two feet in front of you. You could tell you were losing all sense of direction. So what? You could wander around in this fog for eternity. At least no one would be able to find you.

You felt half of your foot touch nothing but empty air. At once, you were hit with the memory of finding that pit in Mt. Ebott. The moment that had stated all of this. The moment that you turned back from your original plan. Because you were too scared to go through with it. However, this wasn't an endless pit. It was a freezing river. And you weren't turning back this time.

You stared down at the relatively slow-moving water. If someone were to fall in, they'd have a lot of trouble doing it, but they could swim out if they wanted to. Unfortunately, you didn't plan on doing that.

You searched for any emotion, but there was nothing. Even the anger you felt before was gone. It felt as if the library was years away. Now, you only felt as numb as your hands and feet. Regret, no. Sadness, not a chance. Just grim acceptance. You weren't needed down here anyway. No one really wanted you around. Not on the Suface, not Underground. You didn't need to exist.

You put one foot out, and closed your eyes.

"Chara!"

You froze. Behind you, the sound of hurried footsteps gradually came closer and closer. Asriel had caught up. Despite yourself, you turned around.

Asriel was panting heavily, bent over with his hands on his knees, and like you, had forgone his coat. But unlike you, he had a nice layer of fur. You stared at him with a blank expression. You couldn't even bring up an emotion for him.

"Chara, come back, please!" You didn't say anything. "If it's something I said, I'm sorry!" He finally looked up at your face. You could see the glint of tears in his eyes, even in the dense fog. "I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me what was wrong, I just wanted to… to… I just wanted to see you be happy again!"

You felt something.

It was as if a piece of your hardened exterior had chipped off. Your expression softened. You were feeling regret. It started off as a small emotion in the deepest pit of your soul, but gradually blossomed into full-on sadness.

Asriel cared about you, you knew that! He had proven it again and again! So why did you think he didn't? Were you just so deep into your own self-loathing to remember? Just because you hated yourself didn't mean he did. He was the definition of love and compassion!

You stepped forward, away from the river, and embraced Asriel in the tightest hug you could manage. He was giving off so much warmth, it was like stepping back inside for a moment. At first, your brother froze, surprised. But you quickly felt his arms on your back, squeezing you tightly.

"I'm sorry, Asriel," you whispered. Strangely, you weren't crying. Maybe you had cried enough for an entire lifetime already. It certainly felt like it. But you had a feeling Toriel and Asgore would be crying out of relief when they found you. They just liked— no, loved— you that much. You might not have deserved it, but they still did.